Drifting Away
by ilovetvalot
Summary: When Spencer Reid begins a downward spiral, can JJ, Rossi and the rest of the team convince him that life is worth fighting for. Can Gideon overcome his demons to help the boy that never had a real family.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Thank you Sue1313 for inspiring this new story (like I needed another multi-chapter epic in my mind!). Hope everyone enjoys…warning to my loyal readers, this one may be updated a bit slower than usual. I think I might have too many irons in my fire. Unfortunately, I just can't seem to write a standalone oneshot these days. As ever, I don't own Criminal Minds.

Chapter 1

Coming to stop in front of where the small pregnant media analyst sat beside the hospital bed clutching Spencer Reid's slack hand, Rossi quietly said, "I know where he is."

Lifting tired eyes to meet David Rossi's unreadable face, JJ blankly asked, "Know where who is?"

"Gideon, Jennifer," Dave confessed. "I know where to find him."

Narrowing blue eyes snapping with fury, JJ cast a quick glance at Spencer Reid's closed eyes. Looking at Dave again, JJ hissed, "Outside! Now!" Following Dave from the room, JJ quickly closed the door as she slapped an angry hand against Dave's chest, shoving him into the wall. "How long, Rossi? How long have you known where he was?"

"I've always had a suspicion. I confirmed it last night. He's at a cabin on Harper's Mountain, Jen. But he isn't the same man that left here."

"You've seen him?" JJ asked angrily.

"Yeah, I have and-"

"What did you tell him? Why isn't he here?" JJ asked in quick angry succession.

"I just told you, JJ, he isn't the same man any of us knew," Dave said carefully.

"I don't give a damn who the hell he thinks he is now! He's needed here! Spence needs him here," JJ replied, tightening her lips. "You should have told us, Dave!"

"So you could do what, damn it! The man I saw is a shell, JJ. A shell! He wouldn't be any help to Reid the way he is now. The things that happened changed him. He's protecting you all in the best way he knows how! By staying away," Dave said softly.

"Trauma changes all of us! We deal and then we go on," JJ said over her shoulder, heading toward the door. "It's long past time Jason Gideon learned that!"

Grabbing for her , Dave gripped her forearm in a gentle, yet implacable hold. "Where do you think you're going?"

Snatching her arm away, JJ hissed, "Harper's Mountain. I'm going to drag Gideon's ass back here if it kills me!"

Slapping a hand against the door above her head, Dave prevented her from opening it. "Damn it, JJ. Listen to me! It's after midnight. It's dark and you can't tell me that you know those roads. You're five months pregnant for Christ sake! You can't go combing the countryside in your condition all alone."

Jerking around, JJ yelled, "Do not make the mistake of thinking that I'm going to allow you or any other self righteous man to tell me what I can or can't do. We're losing Reid, Rossi! As surely as I stand here, we're slowly watching him disappear. And there's only one man that I know that might have a small chance of breaking through to whatever world he's locked himself away in…and that's Gideon! I'm not gonna just stand around and hope that he eventually pulls his head out of his ass and decides to join the rest of the world! Not when he can help Spence. Now, get the hell out of my way, damn you!"

"No," Dave said, shaking his head. "If you're so determined to do this, I'm going with you. Hotch and the rest of the team are here. I'll drive you."

Seeing the set lines of his face, JJ shrugged. "Fine. I don't care. But I'm warning you, I'm doing whatever I need to do to bring that man down off the mountain, Rossi. So, unless you can help, just stay the hell out of my way!" JJ growled, flinging open the metal door to the ward.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Casting a look at JJ's grim face staring out the passenger window into the black night, David searched for something to say. Something to take that hopeless look from her eyes. Thinking back to the way he'd found her just two nights before, he shuddered. Tears rolling down her face as she'd crouched above the young genius they all had a soft spot for, performing CPR. He'd had to pull her off him, taking over the compressions himself as she breathed for the kid on the floor. They'd worked in complete silence until the paramedics had arrived just before Hotch. All three of them had stood watching, silently horrified, as the EMTs had used the defibrillator to shock Spencer Reid's heart into beating again. They'd revived him, just barely.

He knew she was going through hell. Knew she felt responsible for the younger man. Why, he had no idea. Spencer Reid and Jennifer Jareau had a bond that was almost inexplicable. He'd heard Morgan allude to a long ago case in the hospital that had seemingly unified the two younger agents. But that was before his time. The only thing he was sure of was that he never wanted to hold the woman beside him again as she sobbed as he'd done after they'd put young Reid into the ambulance with Hotch riding beside him.

It was an open secret among their team that Reid had once been addicted to drugs. All of them watching the young profiler carefully, even him. When he'd joined the team over a year ago, Reid had been the individual most captivated by him. He'd also been the one that he'd rebuffed brutally. He'd had no desire to be Reid's replacement father figure. Now, he wished he'd handled things differently. Wished he'd taken the time to take the boy under his wing. For all his intelligence, the kid remained an innocent in so many ways. And something he'd seen had pushed him over the edge once more. Too late, Rossi had taken an interest in the younger man.

Luckily, he hadn't made the same mistake with the woman in the car with him. As soon as she'd ejected that worthless piece of crap she'd been with from her life almost four months ago, he'd made his move…smoothly insinuating himself into her world. She'd been resistant at first…hesitant to do anything that might interfere with their team dynamic. But, he'd steadily began to overwhelm her self-inflicted barriers….slowly laying siege to her heart. The baby hadn't slowed his plan at all, if anything, he or she had seriously upped the ante. By the time the child was born, he was firmly determined that it would be his name on that birth certificate. Physically, they'd not taken things to the next level…exchanging no more than a few heated, but no less powerful, kisses, telling himself that he hadn't attained the level of success in his life by being an impatient man. The harder he worked, the richer the reward would be. And Jennifer Jareau and her child were priceless to him. He fully recognized that their was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for either of them, including facing a near rabid former colleague.

Her voice startled him in the silent truck as he heard her mutter, "I'm sorry that I yelled at you."

Reaching out, Dave covered her tightly clasped hands in her lap. "It's not as if it was the first time you've ever screamed at me, Jen, and I seriously doubt that it's gonna be the last."

"You didn't have to come, you know…I could have done this alone," JJ murmured.

"Forget it," Dave said flatly. "Hell would have frozen first. I thought I'd made myself clear the other night, Jen. You aren't alone anymore."

Snorting, JJ rebuked, "Chauvinist."

"I prefer to think of myself as cautious," he said easily.

"Yes, you're a cautious chauvinist."

"Whatever you have to say to Gideon, you can say in front of me," Dave stated evenly. "We don't keep secrets from each other, do we?"

"You kept one from me last night," JJ accused.

"No, I didn't. I had to try and figure out how to tell you what I knew. You weren't exactly in any shape to hear any more bad news when I got back. JJ, I meant what I said. The man has changed. If I thought it would have made a dent, I'd have told him last night."

"He'll listen to me," JJ said in a determined voice that held a thread of steel in it. "He'll have to since I'm not going to give him a choice. He loved Reid like another son, Dave."

"I'm sure he did, honey. But things happened. That last case fried him in a way few people can understand."

"All I understand is that Spencer Reid is slipping away from us…I left him behind once before and he ended up hooked on drugs. I won't do it again. Not when I know that none of us will ever be the same if we lose him."

Jerking his face to look at hers, Dave growled, tightening his hold protectively on her hands, "I couldn't possibly have heard you correctly. You're blaming yourself for an addict's behavior? Jennifer, you KNOW better!"

"You don't know the whole story, Dave, and I'm too tired to explain," JJ sighed, praying he'd leave this alone for now.

Pursing his lips, Dave nodded. "Fine. You get a free pass tonight. But tomorrow, I'm going to want explanations about that little remark."

Ignoring him, JJ returned to staring out the window at the passing wilderness, comforted by the feel of Dave's heavy hand over hers.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Pulling into the driveway of the rickety cabin, Dave murmured, "Why don't you wait here for a minute. Let me see what kind of condition he's in….it's late and he wasn't expecting anybody, I'm sure."

"Forget it!" JJ said tersely, reaching for the door handle. "I don't give a damn what the selfish bastard was expecting. It's time for him to pull it together. I warned you, Dave. If you aren't gonna help, keep your mouth closed."

Holding up a hand, Dave growled, "I got it, JJ. But you still aren't walking up those stairs alone. This place is a two steps short of a death trap and you've got someone besides Reid to worry about, too. Wait there until I come around to get you." Opening his door, Dave came around the vehicle quickly, well aware that the woman inside wouldn't wait forever. Guiding her out, Dave pulled her behind him as the porch light came on. "Just stay behind me until he recognizes us, Jen. Please, babe."

"Fine," JJ huffed, hugging herself in the cool night air.

Keeping her hand in his, Dave started up the steps as he heard the front door open and Gideon yell, "Who's out there?"

Looking up, Dave called back, "It's me, Gid. Put the gun down. I've got JJ with me!"

"JJ? Goddamn it, Dave! You couldn't keep your mouth closed twenty-four fucking hours, could you?" Jason raged. "Just turn around and go back the way you got here," he ordered, beginning to close the door.

"Don't you dare, Jason Gideon!" JJ yelled from behind Rossi's back. "Don't you even try it! Not until you hear what I've got to say to you!" Looking at Dave as the door closed, JJ hissed, "I don't care if you have to shoot the damn lock off, you get me in that house or I swear to God, I'll climb through a window, pregnant or not!"

"Shit," Dave muttered, even as he drew back his leg to kick the door.

Moments later, Dave called, "Jason, she means what she says! You might as well listen."

"Fuck you, Rossi!" Jason yelled, suddenly filling the doorway to the small kitchen. "I don't give a damn about the BAU or anyone in it anymore! I thought I made myself clear yesterday!"

"Curse me all you want, Gid. Won't change the fact that the woman behind me is determined to talk to you and if I were you, I'd listen."

Shoving Dave out of her path, JJ stepped in front of him. "You bastard!" JJ yelled. "You selfish self-serving bastard! How dare you say that!"

Narrowing eyes filled with cold rage on the young woman before him, Gideon hissed, "Because it's true. The Jason Gideon you thought you knew is dead and gone, JJ. Go the fuck home!"

JJ studied the man ahead of her and if she hadn't recognized the voice, she'd never have known it was him. Shaggy, unkept hair, grizzled beard, thinner than he should be, JJ shook her head. "Who the hell are you?" JJ whispered. "The Gideon I knew would never have talked to me like that."

"The Jason Gideon you knew doesn't exist anymore, Barbie," Jason sneered.

"Watch it, Gid!" Dave warned.

"NO! Let him spew his venom. Get it out of your system, Gideon! Then you're gonna hear what I've got to say!" JJ yelled.

"I don't CARE what you've got to say, JJ. Nothing you came to say concerns me anymore!" Jason shouted back.

"Bullshit!" JJ exploded. "My God, aren't you through with this damn pity party you've thrown for yourself yet? Aren't you done YET? A year and a half, Jason! A goddamned year and a half! God, you're unbelievable! How can you be this selfish?"

Shaking his head at her, Gideon growled, "Whatever you're here for, Jareau, I can't help you with. I'm broke, damn it! Burned the fuck out! That goddamn hellhole sucked the life out of me!"

"Well, heal thyself, Doctor because you've got things to do and people to see," JJ hissed.

"Piss off, JJ," Gideon snarled.

"Gideon!" Dave growled, stepping forward.

Shaking her head, JJ advanced a step forward before Dave's restraining hand caught her arm. "Ask me why I'm here, Gideon. I dare you, you coward!"

"Will it get you out of here any faster? Fine! Why the fuck are you here, JJ?"

"Because last night, the boy that thinks of YOUR worthless carcass as the only father he ever knew, tried to end his life! Spencer tried to commit suicide and very nearly succeeded!" JJ shrieked.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Deafening silence reigned as JJ's words penetrated the fog Gideon shrouded himself in. Shaking his head numbly, Gideon whispered, "No. He wouldn't. He couldn't have. Not Reid."

"He could and he DID, you bastard. Trust me, we were the ones that performed CPR, Jason! He was DEAD!" JJ shouted angrily, tears beginning to form in her eyes as she remembered that helpless feeling that had engulfed her as she'd pumped at Spencer's lifeless chest. "He was GONE, damn you!"

"What happened?" Gideon asked hoarsely, gripping a kitchen table chair in a white knuckled grip.

JJ tried to get the words out, but she shook her head at Dave when the words wouldn't come.

Drawing JJ back against his chest, Dave settled a supportive arm around her waist, resting a hand on her small baby bump as he said in a low voice, "Drug overdose, Gid."

Closing his eyes tightly, Jason shook his bent head before angrily hurling the wooden chair at the wall.

Jerking JJ behind him, Dave blocked her small body with his own. "Gideon! This won't help," Dave yelled as Gideon grabbed a coffee mug from the counter, throwing it at the wall and shattering it. "You can dare this shack down brick by brick and it won't help, man!"

"Why, goddamn it, why?" Gideon yelled at them.

"You're actually going to stand there and ask us that?" JJ asked venomously. "He felt like he didn't have anybody to turn to, Gideon! He felt abandoned! That's why! He felt alone and desperate and he did something phenomenally stupid!"

"I told you to take care of him! To keep an eye on him," Jason raged. "But it appears," he said, gazing coldly at her stomach, "that Barbie may have been having a little too much fun with Ken to keep our boy safe, huh?"

Gasping at the full frontal attack, JJ heard David roar, "That's enough, Gideon!" Pushing herself in front of Dave as he started toward Gideon, JJ yelled, "Dave, no! Let him get it out of his system!"

"Ohhh, so that's how it is," Jason taunted, smirking at Rossi. "Been screwing the help again, huh, Rossi? Got careless and finally knocked up one of those sweet little things you always had a taste for, hmmm?"

"So help me, Jason, twenty years of friendship isn't gonna save you from the ass kicking you've got coming your way if you don't put a civil tongue in your head," Dave snarled.

"Protective," Jason mused. Looking at JJ, he growled, "That's new for him, Barbie. You must have been really good. I would have thought you'd have thought more of yourself. I mean allowing yourself to become Rossi's newest whore…"

"I warned you," Dave furiously hissed, slamming his fist into Jason's smug face.

"David, no!" JJ shrieked, grabbing his arm. "It's what he wants! He wants somebody…anybody to feel as bad as he does right now!"

Picking himself off the floor, Jason screamed, "Maybe I do! But, then some of us deserve to, don't we, JJ? I wasn't the first one to abandon Reid, now was I? I think you beat me there, didn't you? I seem to remember you letting him go off on his own a few years ago…let's remember what that led to, shall we?"

Closing her eyes as JJ felt the guilt over that horrible night wash over her, she heard Jason continue.

"Your little disappearance got him kidnapped, tortured and led to this little drug problem of his, didn't it? Gideon hissed, staring at her through slit eyes.

"We got separated, Gideon. I didn't willingly walk away from him and everyone else who cared about me! Not like you…no, the going got hard and you RAN…like a scared little boy!" JJ fought back. "Tail tucked between your legs, you scurried into the nearest hole you could find. At least I stayed! I tried to make things right!"

"And you've done SUCH a great job, JJ. Maybe you should have run, too," Gideon glared back at her.

"You know what," JJ said, breathing heavily, "You can blame me for whatever you want. But every second you waste here, yelling at me, Reid is drifting further away! Get it together, Gideon. You're needed at home! Or are you going to abandon him again?"

"I DIDN'T abandon him! I saved him from what I knew I was becoming!" Jason yelled.

"You walked away from all of us without a backward glance," JJ hissed. "Don't you dare stand there and lie to me!"

Lifting his eyes to Dave, Gideon accused, "I called you. Told you to go back to the BAU, that they were gonna need the help!"

"And I went," Dave said evenly. "To work the cases, Gid. Not to pick up the pieces of what you destroyed. I didn't go back to play the father figure to Reid. That was your job!"

"Yeah, I remind me to thank you later for sending the only agent to us even more arrogant than you," JJ spat.

"Hey!" Rossi yelled.

"Oh, which part of that wasn't true, Dave?" JJ asked shortly.

Watching the exchange in front of him, Gideon could help the short burst of laughter that escaped him. "Barbie does have a point, Rossi," Gideon added.

Narrowing her eyes on the man across from her, JJ threatened through clenched teeth, "Call me Barbie one more time and you're going to find out exactly how much damage a hormonal pregnant woman can inflict, Jason." Grimacing, JJ shifted on her feet, "Does this hellhole have a bathroom? We've driven over two hours to find you, you ass!"

Pointing out the doorway, Gideon mumbled, "Second door on the left."

Not bothering to thank him, JJ simply walked through the open space as Dave Rossi's angry eyes met Gid's.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Silently seething, Rossi took stock of the man in front of him.

"Oh, just say what you want to say, Dave! The art of remaining silent was never one of your many strengths. If I remember you were always more of the blow first and deal with the fallout later type of guy," Jason muttered.

"Evidently, times have changed. Because the Jason Gideon I knew would have been logically looking at this situation and admit the woman in the bathroom had a point," Rossi hissed. "But, let me just take a moment to remind you, that temper you remember isn't gone…just more controlled."

"Tell that to my jaw," Gideon sniped.

"You had it coming, Jason," Dave replied with narrowed eyes. "Make no mistake, I'm not gonna just stand there while you hurl accusations at JJ. Not now, and not ever."

"Not all of it was accusation. Some of it was fact," Gideon growled.

"Perhaps. I'm not privy to all of the team's secrets. What I do know is that JJ loves Reid like a brother. She's never not tried to be there for him and you'd do well to remember that! I don't know what happened in the past and I don't care! Whatever you think she did, she paid, damn you! You will NOT torture that woman any more. There's been enough of that shit in the past year! I won't let you add to her misery, you self-important son of a bitch!" Rossi threatened in a low voice.

"Or what?" Gideon remarked snidely. Turning to grab another coffee mug from the counter, he noted, "This protective streak of yours is new, Rossi. She must be one hell of a -"

Grabbing Gideon's throat and slamming him against the wall, Dave advised in a deadly quiet voice, "Do _not _finish that sentence, Jason. You have no idea what you're talking about."

Shoving Dave away from him, Gideon snarled, "Then why don't you do us both a favor and fill me in!"

"I'm not here to start divulging JJ's secrets," Dave said with a shake of his head. "But let's suffice it to say that she's had a hell of a year."

Seeing the somber look in Rossi's eyes, Gideon did a double take. "What happened to JJ, Dave? Either tell me or I can ask her."

"Leave her alone, Jason. She's here for Reid. Not herself. I'm taking care of Jennifer."

"Am I to believe you're warning me off, Rossi?" Gideon said, cocking his head. "Worried about the competition?"

"No, Jase," Dave snorted. "Take a look at yourself. You're wouldn't qualify as anybody's idea of competition, my friend."

Shrugging, Gideon continued, "Not like you to get the girls pregnant, Dave. Things have changed more than I thought if you started slipping."

"I didn't," Dave stated flatly. "The baby isn't biologically mine."

Eyes widening, Gideon started. "What? JJ doesn't play fast and loose, Rossi. That much I do know."

"You're right. She doesn't. Remember that next time you're implying that she's any man's whore, you bastard!" Dave hissed.

"God damn it! What happened?" Gideon yelled, slapping a hand against the counter.

"The man she was dating a few months ago didn't take no for an answer one night," Dave confided softly. "So your little accusations about being my whore were about as far off the mark as you can get," Dave added scornfully.

"Fuck," Gideon breathed, running a hand down his face. "Is she…did you…"

"She'll be fine and I took care of the problem," Dave said shortly. "We're taking things slowly. But, don't mistake me, Gideon. Twenty years of friendship will _not_ save your ass from me if you attack her again. And do you have so many friends that you can afford to start losing them now, old man?"

Closing his eyes, Gideon shook his head, and wondered, not for the first time, if turning his back on the family he'd been a member of had been the right thing. "You're together?"

"We're together," Dave nodded.

"You aren't exactly known for your staying power, Dave," Gid grumbled.

"True. But that was a long time ago, Gid. She knows my past. She isn't happy with it and it scares the hell out of her, but I'll tell you the same thing I told her. I was a different man then and it was a different lifetime. I've changed. We've all changed," he added with a pointed glare in his former colleague's direction.

"There's an innocent kid involved, Rossi," Gideon sighed.

"I'm acquainted with that particular fact, Gid. Well aware, since I've been the one holding her hair back during morning sickness and worrying my goddamn head off since the day she told me there was gonna be a mini-her," Dave retorted.

"And you're suddenly fine with the idea of small human beings sharing your space?" Gideon asked disbelievingly.

"I'd prefer it if I'd actually been the one to put that life inside her, but, yeah, I'm fine with it. It'll be my kid, Jason. No one hurts what I consider mine….you should remember that. But we need to focus on why we're here…there's another innocent kid waiting…and I'm not the one that can help him. Reid needs _YOU_."

"How much help do you honestly think I'm gonna be, Dave? Believe it or not, I don't want him hurt any worse than he obviously already is," Gideon confessed with quiet honesty.

"I don't know, Jason. But, it's glaringly apparent that JJ thinks you'll be able to make a difference and she's not going to leave this so-called cabin without you. Do us all a favor and just listen to the woman. I've learned that she usually knows what the hell she's talking about."

"You listen to something other than your own self-important ego now, Dave? Things really have changed, haven't they? There was a time when you'd have blown right past JJ's defenses and stormed the gates…"

"Those days are long passed, Gideon. But, you need to heed my warning, you've already gotten one more free pass at JJ than you deserved. You won't get another," Dave clarified roughly, hearing the bathroom door reopen. "Remember my warning, Gid," he said quietly.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Walking back into the kitchen, JJ looked at the two men staring daggers in eath other's direction. "Any progress?" she asked Dave.

Shaking his head, Dave replied, "Just clarifying a few things for our friend here."

Looking back at Gideon, JJ sighed. "Okay, Gideon, there are two ways we can do this. The first is that you do what any decent human being would do and get your ass in the truck with us willingly. The other option is for me to shoot you in the knee and get you in the vehicle that way. Do you have a preference?"

Looking over her head at Dave, Gideon snorted, "One thing _hasn't_ changed. She's still too headstrong for her own damn good!"

"Standing right here, asshole!" JJ growled.

"I know where you are, JJ," Gideon said, tiredly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Look, the day you left, you called me. You told me to take care of Spencer! I'm doing that the best way that I know how. I can't get though to him this time, Jason! I've tried…I swear to you, I _have_ tried! I can't do it. There's _maybe _one person that can. YOU! You have to come!" JJ begged.

"I'm not moving a goddamn muscle until somebody explains to me what the hell happened to my family!" Gideon yelled.

"Family? _Family!!_ That's a funny word when I hear it said through your lips, Gid. Family doesn't desert family! Family doesn't run away and hide…especially when one of their own is in trouble. And when family needs family, they come…they show up…no explanation required!" JJ yelled.

"Damn it, Jennifer! I've got to know what I'm up against here! Send me in blind and I could potentially do more harm than good. You don't send a profiler in to negotiate without giving him all the pieces of the puzzle that you possibly can!" Gideon retorted.

"He makes a decent point, honey,' Dave said gently from behind a tense JJ. "He's gonna have to know the situation if he's gonna be able to help."

"But there's the million dollar question, Dave," she replied, looking over her shoulder at him. Facing Gideon again, she asked, "_Are_ you gonna help us, Jason? Are you going to help Reid?"

"JJ, take a look at me," Jason said in the calmest voice he could muster. "Really look at me. You think I can make a difference as I am now?"

"I really hope so. Because you're it…the last gun in the arsenal. Do you think I wanted to come to you, Jason? You think this is my idea of a party? Reid hasn't been the only one that needed help this year."

Glancing over her shoulder at Dave, Gideon replied sarcastically, "I think you had all the help you needed, didn't you, Blondie?"

"Warning one, Jason," Dave growled from behind JJ.

"No, Gideon, the kind of help that I need right now is from somebody that can speak to Reid in a language that he understands. And that's only ever been done by one man to my knowledge. YOU."

"Has it even occurred to you that Reid might not share your warm fuzzy feelings for me, JJ? I might just do more harm than good! And believe it or not, I don't want the boy to suffer anymore than you do!"

"Damn you, Jason," JJ screamed furiously, turning and snatching Dave's gun from his holster. Stalking across the room she pressed the gun into a shocked Jason Gideon's hand. "Then do me a favor! Go put a bullet in his head. It'll be more merciful. Then, you can put one in your head! The team can have a double funeral…get all our grieving done at once! Just do it, Jason…because I guarantee you there's going to come a time when one of us doesn't get to him in time! I don't want to live in fear of that day anymore! So, make up your mind! Are you helping or not!" JJ shrieked.

"Boy, you know how to lay it on, don't you?" Jason yelled angrily.

"Is it too much to ask you to do your part to help save a boy that you considered a son? I'm not asking anymore, Jase. I'm demanding! Make your goddamn mind up."

Face tightening, Jason bit out, "Fine, JJ. You win. But first, you're gonna have to tell me what I need to know."

"We'll talk on the way," JJ retorted. "Right now," JJ said, looking at Jason in disgust, "you need to get a shower. And shave! This mountain man look of yours isn't going to cut it! Reid wouldn't even recognize you like this. God knows, I barely did."

Jason looked up to see Dave leaning against the wall fighting a smile. "_This _turns you on?" he asked, jerking his head at JJ. Looking back at JJ, Gideon snorted, "I don't see anything particularly attractive about Bossy JJ!"

"That's why you get to live," Dave replied.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

As Gideon stomped from the room, Dave watched JJ sag against the table.

"Bella," Dave growled, moving forward quickly.

"I'm fine, Dave," JJ said with a brief shake of her head.

"That's the biggest load of crap you've tried to feed me yet," he retorted, wrapping an arm around her waist and guiding her to a kitchen chair. "This is too much for you."

"No. It's not," JJ replied firmly, allowing him to pull her into his lap.

"I know you want to help Reid," Dave murmured quietly against her temple. "But you've got to pace yourself. No matter how you look at it, this is going to be a marathon, Jen, not a sprint."

Closing her eyes, JJ nodded as she leaned her head against Dave's neck. "But the race can't even begin until I get Gideon to the starting line," she sighed.

"He's on his way," Dave consoled. "Hell, you got him in the shower. That's more than I could do yesterday."

"You just aren't as good as you think you are at bullying people," JJ said with a soft smile.

"I haven't tried to bully you yet, Bella. But you keep going like this and I will," Dave muttered, gently massaging her belly. "If you won't slow down for yourself, then do it for the baby. At some point, you're going to have to rest."

"I know, Dave," JJ agreed tiredly. "Just let's get him to Spence…then I'll be able to rest."

"Jen, as much as you worry about Reid, babe, that's how I feel about you. Don't make me step in. It'll piss you off and make me feel like shit…but I'll do it for you and this munchkin."

"I promise, Dave," JJ yawned, closing her eyes again.

Shifting her in his arms and carrying her into the living room, Dave murmured as he settled on the couch, "Rest now while he's in the shower. I figure we've got at least an hour before he gets his face shaved."

"Have I thanked you for coming with me yet?" JJ finally whispered long minutes later, pillowing her head against his chest as his hand rubbed gentle circles over her belly.

Brushing her hair back from her face, Dave was startled to hear her voice. "You're supposed to be sleeping," he gently admonished. Watching as she shrugged her slim shoulders, Dave said quietly, "You don't need to thank me, Bella. I told you several months ago that you were done fighting your battles on your own. I meant what I said."

Looking up at him, JJ ran a soft hand over his lined face. "You're tired," she softly said.

Pressing a kiss to her stroking fingers, Dave shook his head. "I'm fine," he quietly rumbled. "You, on the other hand, should be exhausted. All this worrying and running around in the dead of night can't be good for our baby."

Shifting upward in his arms, JJ stared into his dark eyes, her own filling with tears. "You called her ours. She's not ours."

"You're wrong, Bella. She's been ours since the day you told me she was coming. It was never going to be another way," Dave murmured, sweeping his thumb soothingly against her neck.

"You're sure?" JJ asked uncertainly, holding herself stiffly against him.

"I don't say things I don't mean. I'm positive, Jennifer. Now, stop worrying," he ordered, pressing a gentle hand against her belly. "She's got a daddy waiting that loves her."

Pressing her body against his, JJ nodded against his neck. "I'm glad," she whispered shakily.

Bending his head to cover her lips gently, that was how Jason Gideon found them. David Rossi's arms twined protectively around the tiny blonde media analyst kissing her as though he held the whole world in his arms. And, as Gideon finally cracked a smile, he supposed the other man did.

Clearing his throat loudly, he said softly, "Sorry to interrupt…"

Jumping back, JJ turned sharply.

Holding up a hand, Gideon said, "I didn't mean to scare you…"

Gasping, JJ looked across the room at the other man. "It's you! You look like you again!"

"Gee, thanks, Blondie. I'm getting the warm fuzzies over here," Gideon said sarcastically.

"Sounds like him, too," Dave grumbled, standing up. "Okay, let's get this show on the road. Jen needs to sleep and I've made my peace with the fact that she isn't gonna do that until I deliver your ass to Spencer Reid's room."

Nodding, Gideon stared at Jen across the room. "I hope you know what you're doing, Blondie," he murmured quietly.

Walking past him, her hand wrapped in Dave's larger one, JJ muttered, "Yeah, me too."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As they began slowly making their way back down the mountain, JJ settled in her seat beside Dave.

Settling his hand warmly over where hers rested on her leg, he stroked it gently. "You need to start filling him in, Bella," she heard his deep voice rumble.

Sighing, JJ nodded. "You ready, Gideon?"

"No," Jason replied flatly. "But start talking anyway."

"Three months ago Diana Reid died," JJ stated quietly.

"What?! How?" Gideon gasped, staring in shock at the back of JJ's blonde hair.

Shrugging, JJ replied, "It depends on who you listen to. The doctors said it was a drug interaction. Reid thinks she committed suicide."

Shaking his head, Gideon said, "What do you think, JJ?"

"I think Diana Reid was a very ill woman who hated to take her medications. I don't believe they ever found the right combination to help her. I think she probably wasn't taking all her dosages and I think that played a role in her death. Whether or not she meant to step out that window, I don't know. The medications that the hospital had her on DID cause vertigo. But, Reid said his mother had sounded increasingly unstable for months."

"She fell out a window?" Gid asked, rubbing his head.

"Fell. Jumped. We just don't know," JJ sighed. "Regardless, Diana's death has thrown Reid into a tailspin."

"How long has he been using again?" Gideon asked hoarsely.

"Honestly, I don't think he'd been using at all before the last forty-eight hours. Something happened, Gid. I don't know what. All I know is that when I left the office that Wednesday night, he said he was going to finish his report and then go for a walk and clear his head. I left, but I had a strange feeling. So I called him when I got home. When he finally answered, he was slurring his words, telling me how sorry he was…I asked him where he was and he told me he was at home. I was already in the car by the time he hung up on me. I called Dave and he got to Reid's apartment about five minutes after I did. I had enough time to call 911 and start CPR. He hasn't said a word since he regained consciousness. He just stares at the wall. Like he's locked himself in his own little world."

"He's distancing himself," Gideon murmured.

"He's doing a really damn good job at it," JJ muttered.

"It's a coping mechanism," Gideon sighed. "Did you try, Dave."

"I found you, Gideon. Reid and I aren't as close as you hoped we would be. I couldn't replace you and he didn't want me to. I think the kid saw me as some kind of legend rather than a confidante."

"Shit," Gideon growled. "That's not what I had intended, Rossi."

"Well, I'm sorry we didn't all follow your pre-prepared plan, Jason," Rossi snarled. "Generally, human beings march to the beat of their own drum!"

"Look, the bottom line is I'm hoping he'll reach out to you," JJ said softly.

"Does the rest of the team know I'm coming," Gideon asked.

"No. And maybe I should warn you that I don't think all of them are going to share my opinion that you're the best thing for him, right now."

"I'M not convinced that I'm the best thing for him, JJ," Jason murmured.

"Let's just get there and deal with the rest later," Dave said evenly. "It's pointless to borrow trouble now," he said, squeezing JJ's hand gently. "JJ close your eyes and rest. Jason, sit back there and think of ways to approach Reid without causing a riot among the team. I'll have us there within the hour."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Guiding JJ into the hospital forty-five minutes later, Dave murmured against her ear, "You sure you're up for this tonight, babe? We could do this bright and early in the morning…you might be a little steadier on your feet then."

"And give Jason time to change his mind?" JJ asked, nodding to the man ahead of her. "I don't think so. Let's just get this reunion out of the way already."

Sighing, Dave nodded.

Stopping at the bank of elevators, the three agents stepped inside.

"What floor?" Gideon asked, tension evident in his voice.

"Six," JJ said softly.

Leaning against Dave's side, JJ said quietly, "Gid, let me go ahead and talk to the team first."

"No," Gid refused. Glancing at the lighted numbers above the door, he continued, "Contrary to what I might of said earlier, none of this is your fault, JJ. You shouldn't have to deal with me AND the team tonight."

"We both know that I share in the responsibility for this, Jason," JJ murmured quietly.

"Bullshit," Dave snapped. "Nobody but Reid is responsible for what he chose to do."

"There are always contributing factors, Dave," JJ said, turning to look up into his dark face.

"And I was a major one, JJ," Gideon admitted. "Not you. You didn't leave him willingly. I did. I have to live with that."

"Would you people PLEASE stop with the blame game?" Dave growled, pulling JJ against him. "It won't help our young genius. If he's going to get any better, he's going to have to realize that he's responsible for his own actions. He took those drugs. He tried to take his own life. None of us tried to take it from him!" Dave said firmly as the elevator doors opened.

Stepping out in the hallway, Gideon looked down the hall. "Okay, Blondie, which way?" Gideon asked.

"Left," JJ said, jerking her head.

Moments later, they stepped into the small waiting room where the team waited.

Looking up, Morgan's eyes widened as he saw Gideon standing in the doorway.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Morgan exploded. "Just turn around and get the hell out of here."

"We went and got him," JJ said quietly, stepping into the room behind Gideon. "I asked him to come, Derek."

"No," Morgan replied, shaking his bald head vigorously. "No way! JJ, this son of a bitch caused enough trouble when he left! Why in the hell would you drag his ass back here!"

"Derek-," Garcia said warningly, pulling at his arm as she saw Dave's eyes kindle.

"Bringing him into this is just fucking stupid! Reid's already unstable! Are you trying to drive him over the fucking edge?"

"That's enough," Rossi hissed, stepping in front of JJ.

"The hell it is, Rossi! This wasn't up to her!" Morgan yelled.

"Hey!" Garcia shouted, pinching Morgan's ear and jerking him back. "We do NOT yell at our pregnant Buttercup!"

"Everyone needs to calm down!" Hotch said, stepping into the fray.

"The hell we do! Go home, Gideon! You aren't wanted OR needed here!" Morgan hissed.

"Derek -" JJ began again.

"I can't believe you went behind our backs and did this," Morgan said disbelievingly, shaking his head.

"She didn't," Hotch said loudly. "Rossi told ME where they were going and the last time I checked, I still ran this team," Hotch replied authoritatively.

"You authorized this?" Morgan said, shifting his rage to Hotch.

"I did," Hotch nodded. "We're running out of options, Morgan."

"Do I get to speak now?" Gideon asked, leaning against the wall.

"You don't have shit to say that I'm gonna want to hear," Morgan growled.

"And, now, that's the second time tonight I've heard those words," JJ sighed tiredly. Looking at Morgan, JJ ordered, "Just shut up, will you? For two minutes? Put a lid on that damn temper of yours and listen! Reid is running out of time, Morgan. You've seen him. And even if any of us here can reach him, he's still gonna have a long road ahead of him. Who here knows him better than Gideon? I've tried to get to him. YOU'VE tried to get to him. Hell, we ALL have. All of us except Gideon. You want to punish Jason? Fine. Have at it! But first, we see if he can help Reid!"

"JJ, I never took you for a stupid woman. He already hurt the man in that room," Morgan said, jabbing a finger towards Reid's hospital room, "more than anybody should suffer in a lifetime! Maybe he can bring Reid back! Maybe! But what happens when he walks out again! Huh? What happens to our boy then?"

Stepping forward, Gideon stepped in front of JJ. "Stop yelling at her. I already did enough of that tonight," Gideon ordered quietly. "You and I can discuss your concerns later. But to answer your question, Morgan, you don't need to worry." Looking around the room, Jason again focused on Morgan, "It's obvious to me I'm needed here. I won't be leaving."

"Yeah, and I'm supposed to believe you, why?" Morgan snorted.

Shaking his head, Gideon walked toward Reid's hospital room door. Never looking back, Gideon said, "Because I don't lie."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Stepping away from David quickly and grabbing Gideon's arm before he could reach the doorknob, JJ said, "Be that as it may, Gideon. You aren't going in that room without me until I know Reid is okay with you being there."

"I can do this alone, JJ," Gideon said, glancing down at the small woman.

"Maybe so. But you aren't going to. It's because of me that you're here and I'm going to make certain that I didn't make a mistake," JJ retorted.

Looking up at Dave, Gideon met his eyes.

"She's not going to take no for an answer, Gid. If I were you, I'd go ahead and do it her way. Make something in your life easy for once."

Pushing the door to Reid's room open quietly, JJ quietly said, "Don't make me regret this move, Jason. He needs you. I expect you to help him…not hurt him more."

"I didn't ask you for this, Blondie," Gid growled. "So, I hardly think you can hold me responsible for the results."

"Wrong again, Gideon," JJ hissed. "Right now, everybody here is responsible for him. We all bear the guilt. We all feel like we let him down. Now, get your ass in there and do what you do!"

Following the blonde tyrant into the room, Gideon shook his head, coming to an abrupt stop as he got his first good look at the wan man lying in the bed. Holding himself stock still, he felt his heart clench as he looked at Reid's thin form huddled under the sheet.

Standing calmly at Spencer's bedside, JJ stared down at him with a soft look. "Spence," JJ said quietly. "I know you can hear me, Spencer. I brought someone to see you." Willing Reid to look at her, JJ tried not to feel disappointed when he continued staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Looking across the room at Jason Gideon, she mouthed, "Start talking."

Sighing deeply as he stepped forward, Gideon wondered how he'd allowed his life…any of their lives…to come to this. How had he failed the young man in the bed so badly that he'd tried to take his own life? Shaking his head, Gideon moved more deeply into the room. "I'm not exactly sure what I should say here, Reid."

JJ watched as life flickered in Reid's eyes. Smiling, she nodded at Gideon. That had been recognition she'd seen. In the past thirty seconds, Reid had shown more improvement than he had in the last forty eight hours. Raising her eyebrows at Gideon, she motioned for him to continue.

Propping against the wall, Gideon frowned. Staring at his surrogate son's profile, he murmured, "I suppose hello would be as good a place as any to start, wouldn't it?"

JJ watched as Reid's fingers tightened around the edge of the sheet covering him. He looked like an innocent child lying there….a baby clutching his security blanket to him. Resting a hand on her expanding belly, JJ murmured, "Reid, Gideon has some things that he wants to talk to you about. I'm going to step outside to give you two some privacy. But, I'm not leaving, Spencer. NONE of us are leaving you, okay? We're all just right outside your door." Watching his face closely, JJ relaxed as she noticed his hand loosen his grip on the sheet. She took that as an indication that he'd understood her words. Brushing his hair back from his face gently, she whispered, "I'm just outside, Spence."

Stopping in front of Jason as she walked toward the door, JJ said quietly, "I meant what I said. Every one of us is responsible for this. That includes you. And you just might have the power to begin repairing the damage. I suggest you get busy."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Slipping out of the room a moment later, JJ was immediately faced with the fatigued faces of her fellow co-workers and surrogate family.

"Well? What's happening in there?" Morgan questioned harshly.

"Not much yet," JJ confessed. "But he just got here, Morgan. It'll work. It has to work," JJ murmured, raising a hand to massage her temple. "We just have to give him some time."

"But you thought it was okay to just leave him alone in there?" Morgan asked angrily. "Is pregnancy a new excuse for stupid?"

"That's enough!" Dave growled, glaring across the room at Morgan as he wrapped an arm around JJ. "I've given you your last warning. You speak to her that way again and you won't be talking at all for a while," Dave threatened angrily.

"Dave," JJ whispered. "Stop. I can handle this. He has a right to his opinion."

"The right ends when he becomes abusive," Dave snarled, still focusing a deadly look at Morgan. "He doesn't have the right to insult you and he never will."

"Look, everyone, we're all skating to close to the edge right now. Until Gideon comes out of that room, we're going to calm down and let our tempers cool off. Arguing among ourselves is going to accomplish absolutely nothing," Hotch said calmly, stepping to the center of the group and looking around.

"This is fucked up," Morgan muttered, beginning to pace. "We've got a guy in there with Reid that is responsible for damn near destroying this team in the first place!" Snapping a glare in JJ's direction, he continued, "And, evidently, we invited the son of a bitch back!"

Pulling him to a stop as he walked in front of her, Garcia quietly admonished, "Love Muffin, now would be a really good time for you to shut up. I can tell by the look on Agent Rossi's face that he's a hairsbreath away from fulfilling some of his former threats."

"You can't expect me to stand here and do nothing, Mama!" Derek argued.

"That's exactly what I expect you to do, Stud. It's the only thing we can do right now."

"Look, why don't the three of us go down to the cafeteria and see if they've got a better cup of coffee?" Emily suggested.

"Get some hot tea for JJ, too," Dave ordered.

Shaking her head, JJ muttered, "I don't want anything right now."

"Whether you want it or not, you need it, Jen. Your hands are like ice. You need to get something warm in your system," Dave replied firmly.

"I'm gonna go find Reid's doctor and make sure he's called in for those consults we asked for," Hotch said. Looking at Dave, he asked, "You staying here?"

"Not leaving JJ. Until I can persuade her to go home, I'm her shadow. There's no way she'll leave now anyway. Not until she knows how this thing with Jason went," Dave said softly.

JJ watched the team disperse, all going in separate directions and allowed herself to lean more heavily against Dave's side. "They're all so angry," JJ said sadly.

"That's not your fault, babe. You can't afford to worry about how everybody else is dealing with this. There's enough on your plate as it is. Their responses are beyond your control," Dave replied.

Pressing her hand to her forehead as her vision blurred, JJ blinked several times. "Can we sit down for a few minutes, Dave?"

Turning her toward him, Dave looked down to see the pain shadowing her eyes. "Jen, tell me what's wrong. And don't try that nothing bullshit either!" Pressing her down into one of the plastic waiting room chairs, he knelt in front of her.

"It's just a headache, Dave," JJ said wearily. "Not anything to cause a scene about."

Staring into her blue eyes, Dave could see the dilated pupils and lines of strain around her mouth. Shaking his head, Dave said softly, "Jen, I can't let you do this to yourself. You have to sleep. You BOTH need to sleep!"

Twisting her neck and trying to work the kinks from it, JJ sighed. "I'll be fine. I'll catch my second wind in a bit and everything will be okay."

Seeing the determination on her face, Dave clamped his lips together. Pointing a finger at her, he ordered, "Do not move," as he stood up.

"Where would I go?" JJ laughed with no humor.

JJ watched as Dave quickly crossed to the nurses station and held a brief, heated conversation with one of the pink scrub clad women. Leaning her head back against the wall, she closed her eyes, deciding to rest her eyes as she absently rubbed her tummy.

Feeling a warm hand cover her own, she jerked awake a minute later.

"It's okay, honey. It's just me," Dave soothed.

Taking a deep breath, JJ shakily said, "I guess I drifted off for a moment."

Nodding, Dave pulled her to her feet. "That's exactly what you need to do. Just not in a hard plastic waiting room chair."

"David, we've had this conversation. I'm not leaving. Not until I know he's all right," JJ said, exhaustion bleeding over into her words.

"I heard you, Bella. So I made alternate arrangements. We're going to move you to a more comfortable location. There's a vacant room right across the hallway from Reid's and you're about to spend some quality time in its bed."

Allowing him to guide her into the hallway, JJ murmured, "Are you sure this is okay? I don't want to be very far away from Spence."

Leading her to the bed, Dave nodded. "We're closer than we were in the waiting room. The nurse is going to let the team know where we are. But, you are going to close your eyes for awhile or I'm fully prepared to take you home and tuck you into my bed where you will stay until I think you've fully rested. And all your screams and threats will not sway me, JJ. I'm not going to let you make yourself sick over this."

Climbing into the bed and resting her head on the soft pillow, JJ murmured sadly, "He looked so vulnerable lying there, David. So small. Like he'd lost everything in the world he ever cared about."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Dave gently smoothed the hair from her face. "Bella, listen to me. I know how hard this is for you. I do. But, you've got to try to turn your mind off…just for a little while."

Grabbing his hand, JJ yawned before asking, "You'll stay close?"

Bending over to softly press a kiss to her parted lips, Dave whispered, "Not gonna leave your sight. You take care of the baby and I'll take care of you." Watching as her eyes, drifted closed, he tucked the blanket around her body and glanced at his watch. Figuring he had about ten minutes before the team returned looking for them, Dave smiled grimly as he thought of the discussion he needed to have with Morgan.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As Jason Gideon studied the pale imitation of the man he knew as Spencer Reid, he noted the sunken hollows beneath his once bright eyes. Mentally groaning, he could only see a shadow of the kid he'd considered a second son and left behind. It seemed that that the Bureau had leached the life from more than one of its agents. Another, too, had suffered. Viciously. The haunted look in Reid's eyes attested to this. The young man in the bed had seen far too much for his years much, much too soon.

Taking a careful step forward, he wondered what to do with his hands. Unfamiliar with these uncertainties, Jason bitterly noted that he was nervous. For the first time in years, he was truly nervous. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he searched for the appropriate words. Finding there were none, he just stared into Reid's vacant eyes.

Clearing his throat, in lieu of anything better, Gideon asked in a guttural voice, unaccustomed to being used anymore, "Do you remember that first case we worked after I recruited you? Reid's expression never changing, he continued, "The unsub was a female. Unusual in itself. But rarer still, she was a serial." Recalling the details of the case, Gideon kept talking, his words coming easier. As he talked, he slowly advanced toward the bed. Small steps, never rushing.

A few feet from Reid, he watched as Reid's lips tightened. Stilling, Gideon said, "I guess you don't want to walk down memory lane though, do you?" Keeping his eyes on Reid, he softly changed the subject as he said slowly, "I know what happened to your mother, Spencer."

At the use of his given name, Reid smacked the sheet with his hand, snapping out quickly, "You can't call me that."

"What do you want me to call you?" Gideon asked quietly, watching Reid's face. "I've always called you Spencer."

Turning his head, refusing to meet Gideon's piercing gaze, Reid whispered, "There is no more Spencer."

Standing completely still, unwilling to spook the man in the bed, Gideon said calmly, "There's always been a Spencer. Just like there's always been a Jason." Seeing Reid's rapidly rising chest, he knew the younger man was becoming agitated and was uncertain whether to press. He'd made more progress in a few short minutes than the rest of the team had in two days. He wondered briefly if he should be satisfied with this progress alone tonight.

"There wasn't a Jason at the cabin," Reid finally rasped.

Startled, Gideon clenched his jaw tightly. He'd known when he agreed to come that he was going to have to deal with his desertion. But he hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. At least not with Reid. Shaking his head, Gideon said slowly, "Spencer, you wouldn't have wanted to find that Jason at the cabin, son." Watching as Reid seemed to withdraw again, Gideon quietly sank into the chair in the corner of the room and watched the still body in the bed.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Glancing up from his protective position beside Jennifer, David gazed across the room with alert eyes and was met with the concerned face of Aaron Hotchner.

Motioning Hotch out the door, Dave quickly looked at the peacefully sleeping face of the woman that had somehow managed to bring him back to life. Lifting her arm to press a light kiss to the back of her hand, Dave followed Hotch out of the room with a purposeful step.

Waiting until they were both standing outside the open door to her room, Hotch turned to ask worriedly, "Is JJ okay? Really okay?"

"What do you think, Hotch?" Dave snorted. "She's about as far as you can get from okay! She's not going to be okay until some individuals on this team back the fuck off!" he hissed.

"I know JJ's doing everything humanly possible for Reid, Dave. Give Morgan some time and he'll see it, too," Hotch advised carefully.

"And in the meantime, you'd like me to stand idly by and let him attack her? Not fucking likely!" Dave snarled.

"Of course not, Dave," Hotch said, tiredly shaking his dark head. "But this isn't the time for us to start turning on each other."

"Maybe you need to explain that to somebody other than me!"

"Morgan's out of line, Dave. We all know that! Hell, even he knows that. But everyone's on edge," Hotch began.

"Hotch, I don't give a shit about everyone!" Jerking a thumb toward JJ's room, Dave growled, "I care about that tiny woman lying in the bed trying to nurture a small innocent life inside her. A kid that I consider mine, Aaron! Jesus, Hotch, she was so exhausted that she couldn't see straight but, she was still worried about how everybody else felt! And for that, she gets bad attitude and insult? Fuck that!"

Glancing over Dave's shoulder, Hotch sighed. "Dave, the rest of the team is back. Don't do anything that we'll regret."

"I don't plan on regretting a damn thing, Hotch," Dave muttered, turning around and watching as Penelope approached them.

Glancing between the two men standing in front of her, Garcia asked anxiously, "Where's JJ? What's wrong with my little Gumdrop?"

Seeing the genuine concern radiating in Garcia's eyes, Dave controlled his tone as he said, "She's asleep, Garcia. She was exhausted." Nodding into the open doorway, he suggested, "Why don't you go on in and sit with her. I don't really want her to wake up alone."

"Of course," Garcia nodded, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.

"Penelope, let me know the second she begins to stir, okay?"

Nodding, Penelope closed the door behind her.

As Emily joined the group she asked, "What's wrong, guys? God, don't tell me something else happened."

Shaking his head at Emily, Hotch stated evenly, "No, Emily. Dave and I were just discussing the current situation."

Snorting, Dave clarified, staring at Morgan as he joined them, "What we were discussing is the fact that I'm tired of certain members of this unit deciding they have the right to treat a pregnant woman like shit and the fact that he will keep his fucking mouth shut around Jennifer from this point forward!"

"Like hell I will, Rossi!" Morgan spat. "Not when decisions that she makes affect us all!"

Taking a threatening step forward, Rossi narrowed his eyes on the black man. "I don't think you heard me. You are going to back the fuck of JJ or you're going to deal with me. I'm tired of watching you use her for your own personal emotional punching bag! If you were anybody else, I'd have already cut you off at the knees. Hell, if it were anybody else, YOU would have already shoved your fist down their throat, Derek! Back the hell off her!"

"Look, Rossi, I know she's dealing with a lot right now but, she's still an agent just like the rest of us! If she's got a problem with me, she can handle it with me herself!" Morgan growled.

"No, she won't, son. You've no idea what she's dealing with, Morgan. Damn you, she could barely stand after you finished tearing into her, you asshole! And if you think I'm gonna continue to allow that to stand, you've got one hell of a wake up call coming!" Dave snapped.

As Hotch stepped between the two men, Emily hissed, "Enough, you two!" Looking at Derek, Em continued, "But for the record, on this particular issue, I'm with Dave. You're out of line, Derek. JJ doesn't deserve any of this crap that you're heaping on her head. She did what she thought was best. Christ, she's the one that comes the closest to knowing how to get to Reid! But you," she said, turning to glare at Rossi, "don't have the right to tell anybody else how they can act. Damn it, you guys, we're supposed to be a family here!"

"Prentiss is right," Hotch said calmly. "Fighting among ourselves isn't going to save Reid…or JJ."

Rossi and Morgan stared at each other for long moments. Finally reaching to accept the cup of coffee in Emily's hand, Dave shook his head. "I'm going back in there with Jen. Hopefully, she'll stay asleep as long as Jason's in there with Reid."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Endless minutes passed as Jason leaned his head back against the wall and sank further into the uncomfortable plastic chair. Staring at the window beside him, he idly reached up to twist the blinds allowing the darkened room to be bathed in moonlight. Tightening his lips, Gideon felt his memory drift back to a night that looked much as this one had. The night Henkle had kidnapped Reid. He'd felt this mind numbing fear in the pit of his stomach then, too. Had felt this very sense of helplessness. Looking back at the bed, he found Reid staring at him…almost as if he could read his thoughts.

Pushing out of the chair as much to avoid Reid's eyes as to stretch his long legs, he turned to stare out the window. "The night I left town, there was a moon almost like this. It wasn't quite as bright, but it was close…I remembered looking up in the sky at it as I walked back to the cabin to leave that note for you. I almost stayed, Spencer. I knew you'd come looking for me. And I need you to know that I almost stayed."

Gideon turned to look at Reid as he heard him hoarsely say, "I had the chessboard ready. I thought you were just running late…I didn't find the note until later." Trailing off, Reid whispered, "I waited and waited…"

Stifling a grimace, Gideon shook his head as he said softly, "I was afraid you would" Sighing, Gideon walked toward the bed. "Spence, I wanted to tell you myself. I wanted to explain it to you. But, at that moment, I couldn't explain the need to escape to myself. All I knew was that I'd changed and I wasn't going to be any use to anyone the way I was."

"Why should you have felt the burning need to explain anything to me, Gideon?" Reid asked in a harsh explosion of sound. "Why should I have expected you to be any different from anyone else in my life?"

Waiting until Reid had lapsed back into stony silence, Gideon confessed quietly, "I should have been different, Spencer. You deserved better than that from me."

"You're nothing special, you know. Just like my dad. Too much of a coward to stay and face the people that loved you," Reid said bitterly, determined to hurt someone…anyone.

Visibly wincing at the startling, albeit true, comparison, he nodded. "I can't deny that, my friend. You're right. But so am I, you DID deserve better."

"How would you know?" Reid muttered.

"Because I know you. I knew you then and I know you now," Gideon replied steadily. "I wish I could change the past, Spence." Pausing, he watched the young genius's face, before saying, "I wish I could change what happened to your mother, but you know I can't." Watching Spencer's hands clench tightly around the sheet once more, Gideon wondered if he should back off. But seeing the lost look deep in Reid's eyes, he knew he had to reach him…to get him past this…as much for the boy's sanity as his own. Leaning forward, Gideon spoke deliberately as he said, "But you know, as well as I do, that you are NOT your mother. No matter how you may feel right now."

Jason watched as Reid's hands clawed at the sheet over him and he turned on his side, completely away from Gideon. And, not for the first time this day, Jason Gideon wondered if he'd made a horrible mistake.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Slipping back into the shadowy room, Rossi caught Garcia's eye.

"Has she stirred at all?" Dave asked quietly.

Garcia nodded grimly, "A few minutes ago. I thought she might be waking up…but she settled again fairly quickly. I think she might have been having a nightmare. She sort of cried out for a moment."

"It wouldn't surprise me," Dave sighed, smoothing a warm hand over JJ's hair.

"Yeah, our girl has more cause for them than most," Garcia said sadly. "Agent Rossi, I don't want to overstep…truly. I know you're upset with Derek…with cause…"

"Don't worry about it, Garcia," Dave murmured. "It'll pass."

"Too late, sir. There isn't one of you that I don't worry about, no matter what. Even you," Garcia replied softly.

"Don't waste your time on me, kid. If you want to worry about somebody, worry about Reid…or Jen," Dave advised the younger woman.

Seeing the man in front of her begin to shut down, Garcia smiled gently. At least he let his guard down with JJ. That was something. Nodding, she whispered, "I'll check back with both of you in a bit. Do you need anything?"

"No, we're fine. As long as she rests, that's all I want for the time being," he replied, watching her walk to the door. "And, Garcia," he called, his voice low in the still room.

"Yeah," she said, turning around, her hand on the doorknob.

"Thank you," Rossi said sincerely.

Forcing a bright smile to her lips, Pen nodded. "Not a problem, Agent Rossi."

Sliding into the chair that the usually vivacious woman had just vacated, he sighed as he stared at the small blonde woman in the bed. Unable to resist touching her in some capacity, Dave reached out to cover her tiny hand with his own, fighting the urge to carry her out of the hospital and install her in his bed at home. Lost in his thoughts, he instantly became aware of his surroundings as her hand jerked beneath his. Jerking his eyes to her grimacing face, he heard her faint, "Oh God, the dogs!" and watched as she turned in the bed. Rising to stand over her, he watched her face closely as she shook her head in her sleep. Reaching out a hand to gently cup her cheek, he saw her eyes flash open suddenly filled with stark fear as she gasped.

Eyes finally focusing on the man looming above her caressing her cheek, she asked in a small voice, "Dave?"

"I'm here, Jen," he replied quietly. "You okay, bella?"

Nodding slowly, JJ swallowed before answering. "I think so. Just a bad dream"

"You wanna talk about it, babe?" Dave asked, perching on the edge of the bed.

JJ shook her head. "Not right now." Shifting again, JJ winced in pain.

"Tell me what hurts, Jen," Dave ordered.

"It's just my back pulling again," JJ said, shaking her head. "Par for the course anymore."

"Turn over," Dave demanded, gently pushing her to her side as he ran strong hands rhythmically over her rigid muscles. "Better?" he asked a moment later, never halting his stroking movements.

"That's wonderful," she sighed, resting her head against the pillow. Pausing, JJ asked after a moment, "Any word on how things are going between Spence and Gideon?"

"Not yet, sweetheart," Dave replied. "And, just for now, you need to let go of that, Jen."

Tears coloring her voice, JJ shook her head as she said, "That can't happen again. I won't forget about Spencer. I can't let myself."

Slipping into bed behind her, Dave pulled her soft body back into the cradle of his arms. "You have to let yourself, babe. For the baby's sake, if for nothing else. You've done everything you can do, Jennifer, and then some. Right now, Gideon is the only one that can help Reid. We've just got to pray that they're making progress."

Turning in his arms, JJ buried her head against his chest. "I'm so tired, David."

Tucking her against him, Dave gently ordered, "Go back to sleep, honey. I've got you and I'm not leaving. I'll let you know when there's something to tell."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Silently condemning himself to the depths of hell as he looked at Spencer's tortured face, Gideon grimaced, crossing his arms over his chest. Sighing, he opened his mouth to tell Spence he was going to step out for a moment to get a cup of coffee when he heard the boy's faint voice say, "I AM like her. More than any of you know. You just haven't been here to see it. The others…they don't WANT to see it."

Wincing, Gideon took the verbal jab because he knew he'd earned it. But he also knew something else…he needed to keep Spencer from drifting any further away from them than he already was. Calmly, Gideon said, "No son, I wasn't here, was I?"

Shocked, Gideon watched as Reid jerked upright in the bed as he screamed, "I'M NOT YOUR SON! FATHERS DON'T LEAVE THEIR SONS ALL ALONE! NOT IF THEY CAN HELP IT!"

Taking a step quickly forward, Gideon held up his hands in supplication. "Spencer," Gid said firmly, "I'm here now."

Staring through Gideon, Reid kicked the tray at the end of the bed. "Don't you come near me!"

Gideon watched as the tray smashed into the wall as he took another step toward the man in the bed. While he hated watching Reid in this condition, he knew any emotion, even anger, was better than none at all. At least he knew the boy could still feel. "Listen to me, Spence. No matter what's happened in the past, I never stopped caring about what happened to you. Never! The future can be different. It can be what you and I make it."

Scooting back against the headboard of the bed, Reid wrapped his arms around his knees and gazed at Jason with distrust. "Liar!" he shouted. "You've been lying to me all along. For years! You told me I wasn't like her and now…Nobody really cares! Nobody will ever care!"

"That isn't true, Spence. You know it," Gideon said steadily. "If I didn't care, I'd never have come back."

"For how long?" Reid yelled bitterly. "How long until you leave me all alone again?" he screamed.

Before Jason could open his mouth, Spencer hurled the water pitcher from the bedside table at him. Sidestepping quickly, he watched as it crashed against the window, the sound shattering the stillness in the room, water spreading everywhere. "Did that make you feel better, Spence?" Gideon asked evenly.

"Nothing makes it feel any better, Gideon! Nothing!" Spence screamed. "It hurts! It hurts all the time and I don't ever get away from it," he continued, tears beginning to leak down his pale cheeks. "And I'm alone…no matter how many people are in the room, I'm ALONE!"

"You aren't alone, Spence," Gideon whispered, "Maybe you were…but not anymore. I'm not going to let you be alone anymore."

"You can't stop the darkness," Spencer screeched. "It's there…all the time…just hovering over me and I can't breathe. I thought I could make it stop! I needed to make it stop! For just a little while, I wanted it to go away! But it didn't work…it just got worse!" he yelled.

"Spencer, I need for you to calm down," Gideon demanded firmly.

"I want it to STOP!" Spencer begged. "Just make it stop….PLEASE!"

Stepping forward to finally pull the trembling manchild into his arms, Gideon closed his eyes. "We'll find a way, Spencer. We'll find a way to make it stop, son," Jason promised quietly, rocking the boy in his arms.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

As JJ's eyes began to drift closed again, she heard muffled sounds begin across the hall. Flinching as she struggled to sit up, JJ whispered, "Dave, did you hear that?"

Lifting his head, Dave heard the muffled shouts. "I hear it, babe."

Both listened a moment more. "Is that Spencer?" JJ asked, wiping at her tired eyes. Listening a moment more, both clearly heard Spencer's shout. "Oh, God! What's he done?" JJ said, turning to Rossi, her worried eyes widening.

Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, Dave stilled her movements with a firm hand on her arm. "Jen, honey, you've got to move slowly."

Shaking off his hand, JJ glanced at the floor, trying to locate her other shoe. "I've got to get in there, Dave. Why the hell did I ever think Jason would help matters?" JJ groaned. "What have I done to Spencer by bringing him back!?"

Stepping around the bed in mere seconds, Dave steadied her as JJ rose quickly. Pulling her against his side, he wrapped a protective arm around her when she would have bolted. "JJ, stop and take a breath," Dave demanded. "You haven't done a damn thing to harm Reid and NONE of this is any of your fault. And I'll be damned if I let you out of this room until I know that you're okay."

Glaring up at him, JJ snapped, "You are NOT my keeper, Rossi! Now get out of my way!" Hearing the sound of something smash against the wall across the hall, JJ pushed away from him. "Move, David!"

Shaking his head, Dave moved to block the doorway. "Cara, just stay here a minute and let me see what's going on in there, damn it!"

"Dave," she said, trying to push past him, "we can hear what's going on in there, damn it! Let me get to him before he hurts himself again! Please!"

Wrapping his hands around her arms, Dave shook his head firmly. "Not happening, Bella! We both know that for all Jason's faults, there's no way he'll allow Reid to hurt himself again. It won't happen! You KNOW that!"

As Hotch and Emily joined them in the doorway, he heard Hotch murmur, "Been a lot of noise coming out of there in the last few minutes."

"Yeah, and that could be the best sign yet!" Rossi snapped. "Somebody needed to get a reaction out of him…even if it is a negative response."

"Dave, get out of my way and let me check on him!" JJ yelled.

Tipping her chin up and forcing her eyes to focus on him, Dave ordered, "Look at me, Jennifer. Sweetheart, believe me when I tell you that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. But, there's also not a fucking chance in hell that I'm gonna let you walk in that room until I check things out first. Reid isn't stable right now and I'll be damned if I put a pregnant woman near a violent man. Especially, MY pregnant woman. You can barely stand up straight, Bella. I hardly believe you'll be able to dodge any flying missiles at the moment. Now, if you'll sit out here in the waiting room with the others, I'll go in there and find out what's happening. But I'm not moving until you make me that promise."

Glaring back at him, JJ finally relented as he said, "The quicker I get in there, the faster you'll no something, babe."

"Fine," she conceded, slipping into the plastic chair in the hallway. Grabbing his hand tightly as he began to turn away, Dave quickly knelt in front of her.

"What, honey?" Dave murmured, aware of the other eyes on them.

"You tell him I'm here. You tell him I didn't leave him alone," JJ whispered in a tremulous voice.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Dave nodded. "He knows, Bella. But I promise, I'll make sure he remembers it," he said softly against her skin. Straightening, Dave looked at Hotch. "Make sure she stays right there." Seeing Hotch nod in assent, Dave quickly opened Reid's door, not bothering to knock.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Spencer flinched as he heard the door to his room open. Eyes going to the intruder standing in his doorway, he looked down.

Turning Gideon sighed as he saw Rossi standing against the now closed door. "Figured it'd be you," he snorted.

Glancing from Reid to Gideon, Dave said calmly, "Reid, JJ wants you to know that she's right outside the door if you need her. She hasn't left you."

Staring at Rossi, Spencer remained silent.

Seeing the caged animal look in the young profiler's eyes, Dave looked at Gideon, jerking his head toward the door. Watching Spencer carefully as he turned away to face the wall again, Rossi muttered to Gideon, "What the hell have you been doing in here, man?"

"Fuck! Beats the hell out of me, Dave," Jason muttered back. "But at least I've got him talking now. Sure as hell beats that silent routine he had going."

Nodding uneasily, Dave murmured, "I need to let Jen know how he's doing. At least I can tell her that he's talking…even if he's not saying the things she'll wanna hear."

Gideon nodded as he leaned back against the wall. "He's filled with so much rage," he whispered, watching Reid. "So much anger…he's going to have to focus it somewhere, Rossi. I don't know if JJ needs to be around it right now."

Understanding the other man's unspoken warning, Dave nodded as he reached for the door knob.

"Agent Rossi?" Reid said hoarsely, still facing the wall.

Surprised to hear the younger man ask for him, Dave turned sharply. "Yeah, Reid. I'm still here."

"She's still really here?" Reid asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, Reid. She is. She's made it real clear to anybody that'll listen that she isn't gonna leave you," Dave replied evenly. Dave watched as some of the stiffness seemed to leave Spencer's body and he waited for some kind of acknowledgement.

Finally, Spencer whispered, "Okay."

Meeting Gideon's eyes, he watched his old friend nod before slipping quietly from the room.

Dave met five anxious faces as he closed the door to Reid's room behind him, but his primary concern was only for one. Finding her anxiously pacing the hallway, he immediately eased her back into the chair outside the door.

"What the hell is goin' on in there, man?" Morgan asked angrily.

"We all heard the yelling and sounds of things being thrown around," Emily added uneasily.

Ignoring them, Dave knelt in front of JJ again, gently admonishing, "Honey, we had an agreement…you sit still or I take you home."

"What's happening in there, Dave?" JJ asked sharply, ignoring his words. "How is he?"

Squeezing JJ's hand, Rossi addressed the team as a whole. "Gideon's got him talking. It's probably not the things we want to hear, but it's a start. And, it's a hell of a lot better than seeing him crawled into a shell."

"What's he saying?" JJ whispered, shadows of fear and doubt in her eyes.

"I don't know, honey. He only said the bare minimum to me. But he knows you're here. He understood what I was telling him. And he's talking to Gideon. You didn't make a mistake by insisting that he come. Gideon is getting through…at least in some capacity."

"So Gideon's making progress?" JJ asked hopefully.

"He is," Dave nodded. "But, babe, it's gonna be a slow go. None of this is gonna be solved in the next few hours or the next few days. Reid's healing is gonna be a long process. And we need to give both he and Gideon the time they need to work through this."

Shaking her head gravely, JJ whispered, "You heard his doctors, Dave. Time is the one thing NOT on Reid's side. They'll only hold him a couple of more days and then…then God knows what he'll try and do to himself."

Smiling reassuringly at her, Dave shook his head. "You gave him time when you dragged Gideon's ass back here. I could tell from looking in Jason's eyes that he's not gonna abandon Reid. He won't do it again, JJ."

"You don't know that," JJ whispered uneasily.

"I've known Jason over twenty years, Bella. I know what I saw in his eyes. He's worried…but he's also resolved. We'll all get Reid through this."

"Look, guys," Hotch said, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly, "we need to start thinking about taking shifts. We're all running on fumes here and we have no idea how long this is gonna go on. We know that somebody needs to be here with Gideon and Reid at all times, but we all need some rest. None of us will be any good to either of them if we're exhausted."

Shaking her head automatically, JJ raised flashing eyes to David's as she said, "I'm NOT leaving him and nothing you say is going to induce me into changing my mind! I'm staying right here until Gideon comes back out."

"I'm not leaving either," Morgan said angrily. "If you think I'm gonna walk out on my boy then you can go straight to hell, Hotch!"

"I'm not talking about LEAVING him, Morgan!" Hotch said tersely. "I'm talking about getting some well-deserved rest!"

Dropping a hand to JJ's swollen belly, Dave murmured, "Jen, Hotch is right. You aren't gonna be able to help Reid if you end up collapsing. And I really hate to point out the obvious here, but you're steps away from it!"

"Dave-," JJ said in objection.

Holding up a hand, Dave shook his head, saying firmly, "It's either the bed across the hall from his room or I have YOU admitted to the hospital. We both know I'll do it in a heartbeat to protect you and the baby."

"Look, we can all stand here and take root arguing over the best way to help Reid or we can do something productive," Penelope interrupted, grabbing Morgan's arm to keep him in place. "Buttercup, the Italian Stallion is right. You need to get off those swollen ankles of yours. Little Mama, you're dead on your feet. So, let's all compromise. Morgan and I, here, we'll take first shift. You and Rossi go climb back into that nice comfy spacious hospital bed and we'll wake you if there's anything to report. Em, you and Hotch go home and shower and grab some shut eye. Maybe, be back at around nine in the am…whatcha think?"

"That plan work for you?" Rossi asked, raising his eyes to meet hers.

Nodding, JJ turned to Morgan. "You'll come and get me if…"

Cutting her off with a shamed look, Morgan said softly, "Get some sleep, Baby Sister. I'll get you if there's anything to report."

Allowing Dave to pull her from her seat, JJ whispered, "Thanks. I guess I do need to lie down for a couple of hours."

"You need to get in a real bed for eight hours straight," Dave grumbled, "but I'll settle for what I can get."

Wrapping his arm around her, Dave guided her back toward the room, whispering, "Just a few more steps, honey and we'll be down for awhile."

But as he would have guided her through the door, they heard a familiar voice call, "Not so fast, Blondie. I've got somebody in here that wants to talk to you and I suggest you hear what he's got to say."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Turning sharply at the sound of Gideon's voice, JJ took a step forward only to find herself pulled immediately back to Dave's chest.

Shaking his dark head, Rossi looked at Gideon. "Not until you give me a heads up on what he wants her for, Old Man. I'm not sending her in there to be his emotional punching bag if you've gotten him all riled up."

"Might I remind you that you two drug my ass back here," Gideon retorted sarcastically. "I think it's safe to say that he's exhausted his wrath on me! He's been very vocal in his displeasure."

"Then you understand why I'm hesitant to send JJ in there without some assurances," Rossi shot back, keeping his hand firmly around JJ's waist.

Looking between the two men, JJ snorted. "Well you two just stand here and fight it out…I'm gonna go see what Reid has to say." Squeezing Dave's hand when it tightened around her again, she looked up into his dark concerned eyes. "You've got to let me do this, Dave. It's Spencer. And it might be the only way he gets better," JJ begged quietly.

Shaking his head, Dave stared down at her. "Not without me, babe. You aren't going inside that room alone."

"Dave, he might not open up if you're in the room with us."

"He'll talk, Bella. He's already talked to me once, honey. I promise, I'll sit in the corner and not say a word, but I can't let you put yourself in a potentially harmful situation, Jen. You know I'm not wired that way!"

"You won't interfere?" JJ asked hesitantly.

"Not unless he becomes violent or abusive," Dave countered.

"You have to let him say what he has to say, Dave," JJ said tiredly. "No matter what it is."

"Hey, I didn't hit Morgan, did I? And he doesn't have Reid's excuse!" Dave said, justifying himself.

"Fine, let's go then," she said, jerking his arm. "I don't want to keep Spence waiting if he's finally ready to talk to me," she said as they disappeared into Reid's room.

As the door shut, Morgan watched, clenching his jaw. Glaring at Gideon, he spat, "You'd better not have made all this worse, man!"

"Well, evidently, he's done some good, Morgan. Reid is talking…which is a hell of a lot more than any of us could get him to do," Hotch said quickly, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Derek," Pen added, touching his arm, "you know that Gideon can't work miracles. This is gonna take some time."

"Time," Derek spat. "That's what every one of you keep saying. Unfortunately, it seems to be something in short supply. Reid's time almost ran out! In major part because of that man right there," Morgan said, jabbing an accusing finger in Gideon's direction.

"Morgan, just stop! Give it a break," Emily murmured.

"Blame isn't going to help, damn it!" Hotch ground out.

"Derek, you're making this worse, honey bunny!" Penelope whispered violently.

Watching the interplay between the team, Gideon sighed.

"This was a fucked up idea from the word "go"!" Morgan exploded.

"Well, geez, Morgan, I'm sorrier than I can say that everybody didn't line up to ask your opinion about what to do. You've been so fucking productive, haven't you?" Gideon growled, narrowing his eyes on the younger man. "Perhaps you'd rather Spence just lie in that bed and fade away into nothingness, but I just don't consider that a fucking option! What the hell have all of you done to him while I've been gone?"

Morgan lunged toward Gideon before anyone realized what was happening. As Hotch and Emily caught him and pulled him back, he yelled, "Who the fuck do you think you are, you son of a bitch!?"

"Morgan, no! This isn't gonna help," Emily yelled.

"Agent Morgan, stand down!" Hotch ordered sharply.

Breathing heavily, Morgan glared at Jason. "You got some fucking nerve waltzing in here like you're God's gift to us all, you mother fucker! You actually asked US what we've done? Go take a fucking look in the goddamn mirror, man! WE didn't leave him! We didn't desert him when he was at his weakest! WE'VE BEEN HERE!" he raged.

"Derek, baby, stop," Penelope whispered, slipping her hand into his. "You're right, Baby Boy. We HAVE been here. But somehow, somewhere along the way, we failed him. In the middle of being there for our boy, we lost him…he just slipped away. Now, we've got to depend on Gideon and JJ to bring him back to us."

"How can you say that?" Derek said, turning to look at Garcia with tears standing in his eyes. "I did everything I could to make him feel like he was a part of this family! We ALL did!"

"Look, Reid made a choice. Whether we like it or not…he made it," Emily sighed tiredly.

"NO! Fuck that!" Morgan said loudly, shaking his head as he turned to look at Gideon. "Reid was forced into situations that he was NOT prepared for, physically or emotionally. We all did it, that's true…but, YOU," he said, pointing at Gideon, "YOU were the fucking worst! You knew he had no business being at the Bureau. For fucking Christ, Gideon, you knew he was just a little boy trapped in a grown man's body! But you just couldn't resist making him your own personal lab rat, could you? Another fucking theory that you just had to explore and exploit, right? Well, how do you like your lab rat now, you bastard? Are you proud of what he's become? What you've done to him, Gid? It looks like your fucking hypothesis failed, you son of a bitch and it almost destroyed a man's life!"

"If you think that is all Spencer Reid means to me than you don't have the observation skills required to be a profiler," Gideon said calmly. "How the fuck you got this far, I have no idea."

"Gideon, just tell them," Hotch said quietly.

"Tell us what?" Garcia asked confused.

Exchanging a long glance with Hotch, Gideon finally looked up at the ceiling. "He's talking about a promise I made to Reid's mother a long time ago…believe it or not, she used to have some pretty lucid moments where she understood what being a mother was all about."

"So what was the promise?" Emily asked.

"To take care of him…look after him…be the parent she knew that she couldn't be," Gideon said softly.

"And you did such a fucking bang up job of that, didn't you?" Morgan spat, striking out.

Leveling Morgan with a steady gaze, Gideon replied, "I did the best that I goddamn well could! But sometimes, Morgan, nurture cannot overtake nature…no matter how much you love somebody. I knew that the time had come where either I left or I destroyed not only myself, but Reid as well. I didn't want to hurt him any more than he'd already been hurt in his life, damn you! When I left, I couldn't BE the father he needed!"

"So your answer was to desert him, too. You became just another in a long line of people who bailed when he needed them the worst," Morgan said, disgusted.

"It was either leave or destroy him, too," Gideon said, hardening his jaw.

Laughing bitterly, Morgan replied, "Well, now, there's the rub! It didn't matter, did it, Gid? He ended up damn near killing himself anyway!"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Spence," JJ quietly whispered as she slipped into the hospital room, David quietly closing the door behind them. Waiting until the younger man turned his head toward her and gazed at her with pain filled eyes, she said, "Gideon said you wanted to talk to me."

"JJ," Spence said hoarsely, "I'm sorry."

Crossing the room quickly, JJ sat on the bed beside the huddled man and grabbed his hand. "Don't be sorry, Spence."

Biting his lip, he looked at her sadly. "Why couldn't you just let me go, JJ? Why couldn't you just walk away?" he whispered.

"I did that once, remember? It didn't work out so well for us that time. And if you'll remember, I promised you I'd never do it again. I'm gonna keep that promise, Spence."

Sighing, Spencer's gaze darted away from her. Staring at the wall, he murmured, "You shouldn't have brought him back here, JJ. He can't help me, you know."

"He already has, Spence. You're talking," JJ offered with a firm shake of her head. "That's more than I've heard you do since we found you."

"He'll only leave us again," Spence said softly.

"You don't know that," JJ said evenly.

"It's what they do…leaving, I mean. I never had a father that stuck around."

"I don't think Jason's gonna be leaving you again, Reid," Rossi offered from his position in the chair by the door.

"Really?" Spence laughed bitterly. "I never thought he'd leave me the first time either."

"He had his reasons, Spence. I don't know how good they are…but he had them," JJ said vehemently. "He was trying not to hurt us."

"He did," Spence bit out.

"I think part of the reason he came back was to make amends…primarily with you," JJ imparted quietly.

"He can't," Reid said with a shake of his head.

"You have to let him…us help you," JJ begged.

"Can't you understand, JJ? You can't help me. Nobody can…I'm damaged. Broken…"

"No, you aren't. In the past year, you've suffered some heavy losses. Nobody would be unscathed by that," JJ said with a soft shake of her head.

"You don't understand, JJ. I don't WANT to do this," Reid said, looking at her with beseeching eyes.

"I'm sorry, Spence. But life isn't just a game you can quit playing just because for a few instants in it, you feel overwhelmed. You don't get to quit."

"Why do you get to decide that?" Spence asked with a ghost of a smile.

"Because I'm pregnant, hormonal and moody," JJ snapped.

"Those aren't reasons, JJ," Spence said, genuinely smiling for the first time.

"Sorry, but they're the only ones I'm giving you right now."

"Two of them are actually just symptoms of the first," Spence said thoughtfully.

"Now, there's the Spencer Reid I love," JJ smiled back.

Taking a good look at his friend's tired face, Spencer slowly said, "You don't look so good, Jayje."

"Well, gee thanks, Genius," JJ growled, sticking her tongue out at him. "I like you, too."

"You need to go home and rest. Sitting here all the time can't be good for the baby," Reid said knowledgeably.

"Praise God," Dave muttered.

"I'm not leaving you, Spence."

"I didn't say you were, JJ. But, you gotta go climb in a bed somewhere before you fall down," Reid said, shaking his head.

"Kid, you and I are sharing a brain at this point," Rossi said from his seat by the door.

Glaring over her shoulder at the older man, JJ hissed, "Comments from the peanut gallery are not welcome here."

"JJ, go home," Spencer said steadily. "I swear to you, I'll be good, okay?"

Turning around to face him again, JJ asked, "If I do what you're asking, you'll let Jason stay with you?"

"The question is, "Will he stay with me?" JJ."

While Spence had been speaking, all three heard the door open again. "I'm not going anywhere, Reid," Jason said from the doorway.

Looking up Reid met his eyes and nodded slowly.

Looking between the two, JJ faced Reid again. "You'll be okay until I get back?"

"He'll be fine, Blondie," Gid replied deeply, taking a good look at the quickly fading blonde beside the bed. "Listen to Dave. Go home and get some real rest. We'll all be here when you two get back."

Standing, JJ murmured, "Well…if you're both sure…"

Rising, Dave grabbed JJ's arm gently, drawing her back against him. "They're sure, Bella. Come on. We'll be back in a few hours." Looking at Gideon, Rossi murmured, "You've got the number?"

Gideon nodded. "We'll be fine. Just get the little mother to bed, Dave. I've got things here."

And with those final words, Dave guided JJ out of the room.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

He'd been stealing glances at her profile for the entire short drive to her condo. Her worn face worried him…but it was her eyes that scared him. So hopeless. Jennifer Jareau was a hard sell, and he knew that until they had Spencer Reid out of that hospital, she wasn't going to relax. But as much as he wanted Reid to get well…his first primary obligation was to the woman sitting beside him and the child she sheltered inside her womb. They were his first responsibility. Hell, they were the reason he got up in the morning…and he honestly didn't know when they'd both become essential to him. And in the scope of things, he didn't suppose that it mattered. He'd always been a man that dealt in the here and now. Looking backward was a waste of time…and trying to be a fortune reader was a futile exercise. No, he dealt much better in the here and now. And right now, he had an exhausted woman on the verge of collapse carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and the weight of his unborn daughter in her body. Using one hand to steer their SUV into the parking spot in front of her condo, he stole another look at his passenger seat. Seeing her bright eyes staring out the side window, he murmured, "Honey, did you sleep at all?" He knew the answer…hadn't really needed to ask the question at all. But he wanted to know what she'd tell him.

"I tried, Dave…I just can't. Are you sure leaving the hospital was the best idea?"

"You heard Reid, Jen. Just like I did. He wanted you and the baby to go home and get some rest," Dave sighed. Seeing her shift in her seat uncomfortably as her hand cradled her belly, Dave ordered, "Sit still a second, babe. I'll come around and get you."

JJ nodded as she watched him quickly step out of the car and come around to her side. Popping open the door, Dave reached inside to release the seatbelt's catch., sliding his hand over her stomach as he did. Releasing the belt, he settled his hand back over the mound of her belly and stared at her face. "What's on you mind, Jen?" Dave asked quietly.

Staring up into his dark face, JJ bit her lip. "I can't stop thinking, David. I just keep seeing his face…so lost and alone."

Easing her out of the truck to stand beside him, he wrapped a stabilizing arm around her middle. Grabbing her bag and swinging it over his shoulder, Dave guided her up the walk. "Honey, those eyes of Reid's were looking better than they had in weeks when we left. He was talking to us…he was coherent. And he was concerned about somebody other than himself."

"He shouldn't be worrying about me," JJ said tersely.

"Babe, we're all worried about you. Hell, even Gideon, as selfish as he's been…is worried about you."

"I told you all that I was perfectly fine," JJ snapped.

"That's a load of shit and you know it," Dave growled. "You haven't slept…REALLY slept…since this happened. It stops now, Jennifer," he said softly, pulling her closer to him. "I'm not gonna let you collapse because you're determined to be stubborn."

"I don't think that's your decision to make," JJ retorted.

"Would you listen to yourself? Jen, you're swaying on your feet. Listen, babe, I'm an easygoing guy, but letting you put yourself and the baby at risk is where I draw my line in the sand. Now, do you want to hand me your keys or do I frisk you?"

Digging in her bag and yawning involuntarily, JJ handed them over with a flick of her wrist. "Fine…but I've got things to do before I lie down."

"What kind of things?" Dave asked shortly, unlocking the door and pushing it open quickly as he ushered JJ inside. "There's absolutely nothing you have to do that can't wait a few hours."

"Dave," JJ sighed, "Right now, I just want to get something to drink and take my prenatal vitamins. I don't think I remembered to take them this morning." Walking down the hallway and using the wall for leverage as Dave locked the door behind them, she caught her breath as she suddenly felt his arms around her. Mind rattling, she realized that he'd lifted her in his arms. "David Rossi! Put me down! I'm perfectly capable of walking!"

Ignoring her protests, Dave stalked toward the couch, gently placing her in the center as he grabbed a pillow to put behind her head. "So says the woman that can barely walk a straight line." Reaching down, Dave quickly pulled off JJ's low heels. "The only thing that you're going to do is sit right there while I fix you something to eat and drink and grab your vitamins. Then, you're going to sleep for a while."

Waiting until he'd disappeared into the kitchen, JJ dropped her feet back to the floor. "Dave, I have too many things to get done around here. I need to at least put a load of laundry on."

Sticking his dark head back around the corner and frowning, he stalked back toward her and pointed at the couch. "JJ, do you think I'm averse to tying you down, honey?"

"Dave-"

"Uh-uh!" he said with a shake of his head. "Laundry and whatever other crazy shit you've got in mind can wait. You and the little girl in your belly need some downtime! And one way or another, I'm gonna make sure that you get it!"

"But I'm not-" JJ began.

"Please, do not finish that thought, Jen! I'm a reasonable man…but if I have to listen to you tell me that you aren't tired…I may snap, babe," Dave growled, pushing her gently back against the cushions and lifting her feet back to the couch. Pulling the throw down from the sofa's back, he tucked it tightly around her. "Do me a favor, okay?" Seeing her nod, he smiled. "Just don't move. I'm gonna grab you some food and when I get back, I want to find you right where I left you, all right? Otherwise, I'm gonna be forced to find a creative use for my handcuffs and I don't think either one of us want me to do that."

"Okay, Dave. You win. For now," JJ conceded.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Glancing around the living room, JJ sighed. It felt like forever since she'd been in her own home. It felt almost alien to her now…almost unnatural. Huffing out an irritated breath, she dropped to the couch behind her and winced as she felt the baby shift. "It's okay, baby. Mama's just having a small moment out here," she whispered to her stomach, rubbing small circles on her distended abdomen. She needed to call the hospital - just to check - just to put her mind to rest. Looking around, she realized she left her phone in the SUV. Spying Dave's jacket across from her on the recliner, she caught it by the sleeve, dragging it to her. JJ fished through his pockets until she felt the small rectangular object. Pulling it out and glancing at the display, she groaned as she realized he'd key locked it. Damn that infuriating man. He'd managed to foil her plans again.

Dropping his phone back into his suit coat, she glared at him as he walked back into the room, glass of milk in one hand and a sandwich in his other.

"What the hell did I do now, Cara?" he asked with a grim smile.

"Nothing," she snapped. Shaking her head as he sat down on the couch beside her and tried to put the sandwich plate in her hand, she said, "I don't want anything right now, David."

"Fine," he sighed, handing her the glass of milk. "Start with this then and we'll see how it goes."

Taking a sip of the cold liquid, JJ looked at him from the corner of her eye as she asked, "Don't you think we ought to call the hospital and check in. Maybe Gideon has some news by now."

"If Gideon has anything to report, he'll call, JJ," Dave replied. Seeing her face tighten, he continued, "Honey, we've been gone all of thirty minutes. Nothing's had TIME to happen. I'm sure Jason is trying to convince Reid to close his eyes and get some rest. Which is exactly what you're going to do as soon as I convince you to eat."

"I don't want to eat," JJ responded petulantly. "I'm not hungry."

Pulling her vitamin bottle out of his pocket, he tapped one into his hand. "You have to eat. You know you get sick if you take the vitamin without something on your stomach and you HAVE to swallow the vitamin," Dave reasoned.

Quickly accepting the pill and popping it into her mouth, JJ took another sip of her milk. "What if Spence has decided that he doesn't want Gideon in there with him?" JJ worried, taking a bite of the sandwich Dave handed her. "We could go back and I could just grab a nap in that room across the hall. I'd be closer that way."

"We've been over this, Bella. You need to sleep in your own bed for a few hours. Gideon's a grown man that's been the only stable father figure Reid has ever had. He can handle it. He may have taken a break from the whole psychology thing, but he still knows the score. He's doing his job right now. He's there and he's taking care of Reid. My job is to look after you and the peanut. And that means that the only place I'm letting you move that shapely ass of yours is from here to the bed."

"I don't know when exactly you think you gained the right to issue orders around here, Dave, but I'm warning you, I'm a little too tired to put up with it right now!"

Taking the half-eaten sandwich from her hand and popping another bite into her open mouth, Dave grinned. "Somebody's feeling better! Food helped you regain the energy to yell at me."

Sticking her tongue out at him, he happily noted that she took her sandwich back from him and popped the remainder into her mouth. "Who made you my keeper, David?" she said around a mouthful of sandwich.

"It's a lifetime appointment, Bella. You didn't get the memo?" he asked.

"Really, Dave, I DID manage to run my life before you came along and hijacked it," JJ retorted.

"Of course you did," Dave soothed. "But why don't you take a short break from micro-managing everyone and let me pick up the slack?"

Yawning, JJ leaned her head back against the couch cushions. "I am a big girl, Rossi."

"Yeah, you are, babe. And getting bigger every day," he said, placing a gentle hand over the swell of her stomach. "And I'm here to make sure you continue growing," he said, sliding her legs over his lap as she drained her glass of milk. "Both you and the peanut have me to make sure you both behave."

Handing him back the empty glass, JJ sighed. "She's fine, David. She just moved a few minutes ago." Closing her mouth abruptly, her hand dropped to her lower belly. "There she goes again."

Easing his fingers over hers to feel the baby moved, Dave smiled gently. "She's definitely your daughter, Jen."

"What's that supposed to mean?" JJ asked, bristling slightly.

"It means that she, too, is bound and determined to stay awake when she should be soundly sleeping," Dave gently chastised, lacing his hand through hers.

Dropping her head against his shoulder, JJ muttered, "I'm tired and cranky."

"No," Dave breathed. "You?"

"Shut up," JJ murmured. "So both myself and my daughter are independent. I'll have you know that many people find that an admirable quality." Yawning again, JJ tried to push away from him as she said, "I need to stay awake."

"The hell you do," Dave retorted, tightening his arm around her. "What you need to do is close those eyes of yours and get some rest. Close your eyes, baby. Just for a little while," he urged quietly.

"I can't, David," JJ returned quietly.

Burying his fingers in the hair at the back of her neck, Dave stroked lightly. "Jen, just let go…just for a little while."

Feeling the warmth his fingertips created run down her spine, JJ moaned softly, collapsing against his broad chest. "My body is betraying me," she muttered.

Pulling he closer, Dave stood easily, lifting her in his arms. Cradling her gently, he decided it was time to make an executive decision and began walking decisively toward JJ's bedroom. There was no way that the woman in his arms needed to doze fretfully on a less than ideal couch when she had a perfectly good queen size bed at her disposal.

"Where are you going?" JJ asked drowsily, barely stirring in his arms.

"You're going to bed, Jen. A real bed, with sheets and pillows and a mattress that doesn't kill both our backs. For four hours minimum."

Resting her head against his shoulder, JJ murmured, "You'll stay?"

"Try and get rid of me, Bella," Dave dared her quietly.

"You aren't fighting fair," JJ sighed as he lowered her to the mattress.

"When I wanna win, I use everything in the arsenal, babe," he replied, grabbing her gown from the end of the bed. "Now, raise your arms so that I can get that dress off and you into something a lot more comfortable," he ordered.

Obeying mindlessly, she felt Dave strip her out of her clothes and told herself that when her mind was more alert, it was going to have a long chat with her body over its lack of cooperation. Looking up as he slipped the gown over her head, JJ asked, "You really think Spence is gonna get better?"

"JJ, I do. But I want you to let Gideon worry over our Dr. Reid for the next few hours, okay? You've performed minor miracles in the last eight hours….you got Reid the help he needed and managed to humanize Jason again. I'd say your work is done for a few hours," he said, easing her back against the pillows before stripping out of his shirt.

Nodding as she watched Dave undress, she idly wished she was coherent enough to enjoy that sight. Unfortunately, the day, or rather, night, had finally caught up to her. And her last thought as she looked at Dave through barely open eyes was that she was grateful beyond words that she no longer had to face things alone.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

As Reid watched the door close as JJ and Rossi left, he felt his jaw clench as he looked in Gideon's direction. "She'll be okay, right?" Reid asked, faltering slightly.

"I'm sure she's gonna take care of herself, Spencer," Jason shrugged. "But every person is responsible for their own actions, you know."

"No, she has more to lose…and gain. She's having a baby. She has to think about the baby now, too. Nobody else can take care of it except her," Reid said, shaking his head at the closed door.

"That's true," Gideon conceded. "She is responsible for her child, but no one can force her to be a good mother if she has other ideas."

Sitting straight up in bed, sheet clutched between his hand, Reid stared at Gideon. "JJ isn't like that! JJ is a good person! She'd never hurt her baby, would she?"

"No, probably not," Gid said, shaking his head. "But sometimes even good people make bad decisions,

Spence. We're all guilty of it. It's called being human."

"You're trying to confuse me," Spence accused softly.

"That isn't my intention, Spencer. I'm just trying to remind you that nobody can force someone else to act in a certain way."

Laying back against his pillow, Reid eyed Gideon distrustfully. "JJ has a responsibility," Reid said finally. "That b-baby," he stuttered, "is completely dependent on her. She has to take care of it!"

Hearing the concern and deeply embedded fear in his surrogate son's voice, Gideon treaded carefully. "Give me one word that you think would describe JJ, Spencer. Just one word."

"Loyal," Spencer whispered without hesitation. "JJ is the most loyal person that I've ever met. Even after someone hurts her. She still would stand by their side."

"I'd say that's a fair description of JJ's character," Gideon said slowly. "Now, do you think someone as loyal as JJ could ever abandon something or someone that she was responsible for or devoted to…especially her child?"

"No," Reid said softly, but vehemently.

"Then I think you've found your answer, son. To a lot of your questions. JJ won't desert her child. And, JJ won't desert you either," Gideon said steadily.

"You don't have to stay here, you know," Reid said, glancing quickly at Gideon. "I've been fine by myself."

"I know that," Gideon replied slowly. "Are you trying to get rid of me, Spencer?"

"Would it work?" Reid asked hesitantly.

"I think you've already heard me promise you that I wasn't going to leave," Gideon returned. "Dave Rossi is fully capable of kicking my ass to the state line if I let down either you or the little blonde he's in love with if I let you down again. In addition to caring about you, I'd like to keep all my body parts intact." Watching Spencer clench his fists in the sheet again, Gideon said quietly, "But I'd rather have those two mad at me than hurt you again, Spencer. I hope you know that."

Slowly loosening the sheet in his hand, Reid kept his eyes focused on the wall.

Leaning back in the hard plastic chair beside the bed, Gideon propped his ankles on the chair beside him. "I don't know if you remember this, son, but you once told Hotch that repetitive thinking is death for the brain."

"The Keystone Killer," Reid recalled quietly. "Max Ryan…we were all standing in the middle of the bull pen. It was a Tuesday afternoon."

Allowing himself a small smile, Gid nodded. "Of course you remember the details. I should have known that you would."

"What does that have to do with what's happening now?" Reid asked in a small voice.

"I think if you'll give it a moment, you'll understand what I'm trying to say," Gideon said quietly.

As Reid looked at him blankly, Gideon continued, "If you continually allow your mind to roam down the same neural pathways for every situation, you're gonna reach the same conclusion every time. Your mind will tell you that there is no other way to solve a problem."

"I told Hotch that diverse stimulation was the key," Reid remembered.

"What do you think that means, Spencer?" Gideon asked, tilting his head at the younger man.

"I don't know…I suppose the everyman would say it means to think outside the box…but…I don't want to think about this any more, Jason."

"Your choice," Gideon replied, inclining his head. "But when you do want to think about it again, consider this. There are many ways a person can resolve their problems…and many people that care about you to help you with the process. Sometimes, a person has to force themselves to see the situation in an entirely different light."

Gideon noted that Reid never looked at him as he spoke, but his eyes were open. Finally after several minutes of complete silence, Spencer asked in a small, forlorn voice, "Do you think I can be fixed, Jason?"

"I don't believe that you're broken, Spencer," Gideon replied evenly, clenching his jaw against the emotion he felt. "You are an incredibly intelligent, passionate young man that is gifted beyond words. The world needs what you have to offer, son. And you need the things this world can teach you. Most people…they don't function on the same plane as you do…that doesn't mean that you're broken. It means that you're special. And I'm going to do everything possible to make sure that everyone sees you the same way I do."

Watching Reid offer a jerky nod, Gideon hoped his words had truly penetrated the wall he'd built around himself.

"Can we turn off the lights now?" Reid asked.

"Of course," Gideon said, nodding to hit the switch.

"Not all of them!"

"I'll leave on the one at the nightstand," Gideon stated quietly, feeling his heart clench at the panicked look in Reid's eyes. All he could see for a moment was the little boy trapped in a man's body that still needed the security a nightlight could provide. Settling back into his chair a few seconds later, he watched as Reid drifted off and silently vowed that this time…this time he'd be man enough to see this battle through to the end.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Snapping her eyes open and feeling her body jerk, JJ blinked, unsure where she was for a moment. Shaking her head against the last waves of disorientation, JJ felt her breathe become faster as she recalled the dream that had jolted her awake. Someone had tried to take her baby from her. Consciously, she knew it played into the emotions she'd experienced when she walked in and found Spencer lying on that floor, dying in front of her very eyes, but that didn't help her still her rapidly beating her or catch her breath. Pushing her self up, she tried to finish waking up her body and shake off those last tentacles of sleep clawing at her.

David's eyes had flashed open as soon as he'd felt her stir in his arms and as she rose, he tugged gently, sending her toppling back over his chest. "What's wrong, Bella," her face pale, even in the darkened room. "Bad dream?"

Ignoring his questions, JJ shook her head, saying hoarsely, "What time is it? We need to check on Spence."

"Too early for you to be moving yet," Dave replied evenly. "Definitely too early for you and our daughter to even consider leaving this bed or my arms."

Turning to her side to face him, a process made slower by her slowly expanding belly, JJ could feel his eyes staring at her. "You think Spencer's okay?" JJ asked automatically.

Raising his head to gently place a kiss against her questioning lips, he tucked her small frame against his chest. "What I think is that I left both of our phones right there on the nightstand and that nobody has called. I'd say that's an excellent sign. If anything had happened, we'd have been their first phone call," he reasoned calmly.

Sighing against his warm neck, she felt him pull the covers back around them, creating a tight cocoon. Shifting against him, she heard him ask, "Honey, are you comfortable?"

"As comfortable as it gets anymore. She's getting bigger and taking up more space, inside and out."

"That's my peanut," Dave said, covering her belly with a splayed hand. "Asserting herself before she even makes an appearance."

Placing a smaller hand over his, JJ asked hesitantly, "Are you sure about this, Dave. I mean, about her. Are you positive that you want her to be ours? Nothing about this is gonna be easy. You know people are going to talk."

"The first person I catch saying anything about either one of you will answer directly to me," Dave growled protectively.

"They'll talk about you, too. They'll think you fell for a gold digger, that I took advantage of you and your generosity," JJ worried.

"Are you sure that you're not just finding things to worry about here? Jen, do you not WANT me to be her daddy because if you don't -" Dave began with a calm he didn't particularly feel.

Struggling to sit up in bed, JJ shook her head. "You KNOW that isn't it! She…WE'RE lucky to have you in our lives at all!"

Reaching out an arm to flick the switch on the lamp beside him, Dave narrowed his eyes on JJ. "Then what is it, Bella? What's got you so scared in the middle of the night when you've barely slept a couple of hours. You KNOW I want to be her daddy. You KNOW I'm already in love with that little girl. I've never given a goddamn about what other people thought about me and you know I'll handle anybody that bothers opening there mouth about either of my girls. So tell me what's got you running scared."

"I don't ever want her to end up like Spencer," JJ whispered, staring into his dark eyes.

"Come again?" Dave asked, squinting his eyes at her. "Our daughter isn't gonna ever have to go through anything like this."

"You don't know that," JJ said, shaking her head. "Something could happen to me and she'd be left all alone…just like Spence….something could happen to her…or-"

Framing JJ's face in his hands as he set up in bed, Dave shook his head. "No, Jen. No. First of all, you aren't going anywhere. But, even if you did, you aren't gonna be raising that beautiful little baby alone. Remember? I'm here, Jen, and I'm all in. Between the two of us, we're gonna give her everything she deserves, do you hear me?" Watching her nod against his hands as she wiped a tear away, Dave sighed. Reclining back against the pillows, Dave whispered, "Come 'ere, Cara."

Feeling her stretch back out against him and curl into his body, he said softly, "You want to know what I think?"

"Yeah," she said softly.

"I think you're exhausted. Your emotions are hovering right below the surface right now. Our baby is going to be loved and protected before AND after she arrives," Dave told her firmly.

"Promise? You promise me that?" JJ said shakily. "Promise me that we'll be good parents…that we won't hurt or abandon her."

"Of course we won't. I promise you, Jennifer, this kid is gonna know each and every day what she means to us. Our child isn't Spencer, babe. You aren't sick and I'm not running out on her."

"But we don't know-"

"We DO know, Jen. We also know some other things, as well. As much as I despise it, Reid had the deck stacked against him from the outset. He got dealt a crappy hand and never learned to bluff. He's having to play what he's got in his hand. Luckily, he's got friends like you that refuse to give up on him and who aren't going to allow him to give up on himself."

"I won't," JJ vowed, tightening her arms around David. " I owe him."

"No," Dave said solemnly. "Whatever debt you think you had to the young doctor has been repaid, Jennifer. You paid it when you pumped his heart back into beating. What you do now, you do because you love him. We all love him, honey."

"I love you," JJ softly confessed, settling her head against his naked chest.

Putting a finger beneath her chin, David tilted her head up to look down in her eyes. "You mean that?"

"Of course, I mean it, David," JJ replied quietly.

"I never thought you'd be the one to say it first," Dave replied offering a gentle smile. "I love you, too, Jennifer."

"You sure you can handle both of us?" JJ asked, staring into Dave's black eyes.

Nodding, Dave pulled her up until her face was level with his. "Every day for the rest of my life, Bella."

Nodding against his neck, JJ burrowed into him. "Hold me, Dave. Hold both of us."

"I've got you both, Bella," Dave assured her, holding her securely against him, "and I'm not letting either one of you slip away from me."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Slipping out of the small hospital room and shutting the door carefully behind him, Gid stepped out into the hallway. Heading quickly toward the nurse's station, he prayed that they'd spare him a decent cup of coffee. That vending machine crap was killing him. Glancing at his watch and seeing the brightly lit dials reading five in the morning, he figured he stood at least a fighting chance of some pour soul taking mercy on him. He turned sharply as he heard his name softly called. Spotting Emily curled up in a hard plastic chair, he turned on his heel and walked back toward her. Spotting Hotch a couple of chairs down, dozing lightly, he whispered, "You should go home and get some rest, Em."

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but how are things going?" Hotch asked without opening his eyes.

Shrugging, Gideon replied, "He's been asleep for about an hour. The first couple of hours he'd sleep for a couple of minutes at a time and wake up thrashing around. But the last time a nurse was in there I asked for a light sedative. The best thing for him would be a few uninterrupted hours of rest."

"Do you think it would be okay if I sat with him for a minute or two?" Emily asked quietly.

"I think that'd be fine. I need to stretch my legs for a few minutes anyway and I don't want to take a chance of him waking up alone," Gideon said softly, noting the dark circles underneath Em's eyes.

Watching as she slid silently into Reid's room, Gideon turned to face Hotch. "She looks like hell," Gid stated, jerking his head toward the door.

"It's been a long few days, Gideon," Hotch informed him shortly. "Next to JJ, Emily's been here the most. How's he really doing?" Hotch asked, eyes narrowing on Jason.

"I'm beginning to wonder if we should allow the docs to give him something to turn his mind completely off for awhile."

"Not a viable option, Jason. With Reid's history of substance abuse, we can't risk a relapse into that behavior," Hotch said quickly, disregarding the idea entirely.

"Yeah, cause it's better for him to just kill himself outright than risk getting hooked again," Jason retorted sarcastically. Seeing Hotch's face tighten, Gideon held up a hand. "You know what I meant, Aaron."

Nodding stiffly, Hotch sighed. "I never imagined it playing out this way."

"What do you mean 'playing out'? You saw this coming?" Gideon asked, eyes widening in surprise.

"Not exactly," Hotch said defensively, running a hand down his haggard face. "But I've had a feeling that something was off for a while. But, when his drug tests came back normal, I told myself that I was imagining things."

"You know better than that," Jason said shortly. "If you knew something didn't feel right, why didn't you talk to him about it?" Gideon said, grabbing Hotch's arm when he moved to stand up.

"Keep your voice down," Hotch ordered. "And, I tried, Jason!" Hotch ground out. "But we both know that Spencer doesn't share his feelings easily or well. I can't fix what he won't tell me about! YOU should know all about that!"

"You should have called me, Aaron," Gideon spat. "How long has he been devolving for, huh?"

"About a month," Hotch replied. "And as for calling you….ha! It's a little difficult to contact you, Jason, when you keep changing your number. Hell, even IF I'd known how to find you, Gideon, tell me…would you have shown up?"

Grimacing, Gideon ground his point. His former protégée had a point and he knew it. "I might have, Aaron. For him, for that boy, I might have."

"MIGHT is a big word, Jason," Hotch replied calmly. "But honestly, I don't think you would have. It took JJ and Rossi showing up on your doorstep threatening to shoot you to get your attention…to drag you out of that self-imposed prison!"

"It took hearing my son…and that's what he is in my heart, Aaron…my son had almost died. You think I don't feel responsible? You're wrong. I do! And I will, each and every day of my life. You people don't need to punish me…the look in that kid's eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life!"

Measuring his words carefully, Hotch could see the pained expression blanketing Jason's face. "You're here now," Hotch stated steadily. "And you can help him."

"I hope so," Gideon sighed, staring into space. Running a hand down his tired face, he growled, "Damn, man, it's way too early for this kind of discussion and I need coffee."

Pushing out of his seat, Hotch offered a rare grin. "Follow me. I've already scouted out the coffeepot…it may not be the best…but it definitely beats the vending machine."

"As long as it gets the job done," Gideon replied, falling into step beside Hotch as the walked down the quiet hallway.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Eyes opening slowly a few hours later, JJ noticed one thing automatically. She was alone in her bed. Looking quickly around the barely lit bedroom, JJ noticed that David had drawn the blinds against the sunlight. But looking outside, she didn't need the alarm clock to tell her that it was still early. Reaching blindly for the bedside lamp, she turned on her side to see the red numbers on her alarm clock flashing 6:30. Groaning, she reached for her cell phone. Patting around the table, she came up empty. Damn that man! He was already in full dictatorial mode and her feet hadn't even touched the floor yet. She sat up slowly in the bed and rolled her legs over the side, determined to start this day at a run. Unfortunately, her great plans were about to meet with heavy resistance.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" she heard his voice say sharply from the doorway.

"YOU were supposed to wake me up when you got up, Rossi, so don't even start with me! My loving you isn't gonna get you out of trouble. We need to get ourselves together so we can get back to the hospital," she said, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Still shirtless, Dave rolled his eyes. "Everything is fine, Jen. We don't need to be in a hurry," he said, coming to sit beside her on the bed.

"And how exactly would you have that information, David?" JJ asked suspiciously.

"Because I called Hotch as soon as my feet met the ground this morning," Dave replied calmly.

Trying to stand, JJ yelled, "You did what?! You didn't wake me up so that I could talk to him? Was anything wrong?"

"I just told you that there wasn't," Dave said patiently. Tumbling her gently back against the pillows, Dave hovered above her as he stared down into her clear blue eyes. Satisfied, he saw that some of the dark circles seemed to have faded. "I told you, I called HIM. I figured that when you woke up, you'd appreciate an instant update. Evidently, a sound move on my part. Our Reid is still resting comfortably after being given a slight sleep aid."

Closing her eyes, JJ asked in a small voice, "You're sure he's no worse, Dave?"

"I'm positive. Those idiots we work with no better than to mislead me," Dave assured her. "You've got to trust me here, babe."

Finally nodding as she stared up at him, JJ wrapped her arms around his neck. "I do trust you, Dave. I'm just so worried about him," she whispered.

"That I can understand, honey. But I'm worried about you. As much as I care about Reid and his problems, you're my first priority…and the Peanut."

"I'm fine, Dave," she told him forcefully. "We're both fine," she said when she felt one of his hands creep to her belly.

"You sure?" he asked uncertainly.

"Positive," she whispered, wrapping an hand around his neck to tug his lips down to hers. Opening her mouth underneath his, she released a breathy moan as his lips sipped lightly at hers, slowly deepening the kiss. Feeling his tongue sweep warmly against hers, JJ's hand tightened on his neck when he would have drawn back, asking without words for him to prolong the contact.

Resting his weight on either of his elbows, Dave stretched out above her as he continued caressing her mouth. Taking his weight on one arm, Dave slowly slid his hand down the side of her face, trailing her neck to cup the swell of her breast through the nightgown. Sweeping his thumb against the puckered nipple, he swallowed her moan of pleasure as her body shifted restlessly underneath him. Drawing back, he asked, "Are you okay, Bella? I don't want to rush you."

"I'm not scared of you, David," she whispered back, seeing the unasked questions in his eyes. Smoothing her soft hands down his strong chest, she lightly kneaded the muscles. "I want you," she quietly told him.

"Are you sure, Jennifer. I know what a big step this is for you…trusting someone like this again."

"You'd never hurt me," JJ whispered against his mouth, nipping at his lower lip.

"No. I'd never hurt you. But I don't want you to regret this either," Dave said unsteadily as her lips found the pulse in his neck.

"No regrets," JJ assured him. "I love you. I've been in love with you for some time. I'm tired of letting my nervousness come between us. You've been more patient than any woman could ask for. And I'll always be grateful for that, but now it's time to make this thing between us real."

"It's always been real, Bella," Dave murmured, dipping his head to run his tongue along the shell of her ear.

Shivering against his touch, JJ whispered, "I meant real in a more elemental way, Dave."

"Is that your way of telling me that you're ready to make love with me, Bella?" Dave asked against her ear.

Nodding, JJ swallowed. "It is. If you want me."

Covering her lips with his and kissing her deeply, Dave groaned. "I don't remember a time when I didn't want you, Jen. I'd have waited for you as long as it took though. I'll continue waiting, if that's what you want."

"It's not. I love you," JJ whispered, pushing he body against his.

"I love you, Bella," Dave smiled down at her as he eased her nightgown off her shoulders. "Now, let's see if I can show you how much."

An hour later, as JJ lay curled in his arms, satisfied and satiated, she looked up to see his smiling face. "Don't look so smug, Rossi."

"Never smug, Jen. Just happy," he replied. "Very, very happy, Bella."

"I need to grab a quick shower and we need to get to the hospital," JJ murmured,

Kissing her gently, Dave shook his head. "We'll go back soon. But not until I've seen you eat an adequate breakfast. We just burned a lot of energy in this last hour and you're gonna need to replenish it. And before you open your mouth to argue, you know it's best for the baby."

Glaring at him, JJ watched as he stared her down.

"It won't work, honey. You either promise to eat or you can just crawl back up in the bed and close your eyes because you won't get out of this house."

"You're a real bully, you know that?" JJ snapped. "And over protective in the extreme!"

"Nope, just normally protective. OVER protective comes with our daughter's arrival. Why don't you just do us both a favor and tell me what you want. We both know that I'm gonna when this one. I could be making it while you're in the shower," he suggested reasonably.

JJ sighed as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Laughing as her stomach rumbled, she looked up at David.

"See! She's talking to us!" Dave said, pointing at her belly.

"Fine! I could probably eat some toast."

"That's a start. It'll go very well with the eggs, fruit and juice that'll be sitting on the plate beside it," Dave said, sitting up.

Allowing him to help her out of bed, JJ rolled her eyes. "If you're gonna do what you want anyway, why do you bother asking?"

"Oh, babe, you know I always like to offer at least the illusion of a choice," he said, kissing her soundly before pushing her toward the bathroom.


	27. Chapter 27

**_Author's Note: Does anybody out there have any ideas where they'd like to see this story go? I've hit a brick wall on this particular story. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Please read and review. And, as ever, I don't own Criminal Minds._**

**Chapter 27**

Gideon slipped back into Reid's room as the sun began shining through the slit blinds. Meeting Emily's gaze across the room she smiled slightly.

"He hasn't moved," she whispered.

"Good. Sleep is the most restorative healing agent. Even to the mind. Give's a person time to reboot," Gideon murmured.

"Yeah, I know. I'm a profiler, too. Remember?" Em said, offering him a genuine smile.

"Yeah, sorry," he muttered. "One of my many bad habits…telling people things that they already know."

"I remember," Emily sighed. "I'll just step back out and let Hotch know."

Nodding as he heard her open and close the door quietly, he turned his eyes toward Spencer. He seemed to be truly relaxed. Perhaps for the first time since this ordeal began. Walking to the window, Gideon gazed outside. Sun was shining, birds were singing and life was going on. Maybe the day would bring a more positive prognosis. A man could hope, couldn't he? Snorting derisively at his own fanciful thoughts, he knew he was a man that didn't normally put much reliance upon the concept of hope. It had failed him too many times in his past. Turning, his eyes focused on Reid's face. Clenching his jaw, he realized that he was going to have to try though. He'd cling to those last shreds of hope for the man in the bed. He had to get better.

Jerking around as he heard the door open, Gideon watched as a nurse bustled into the room.

Frowning, Gideon hissed, "He's finally sleeping!" as the nurse headed toward the hospital bed.

Smiling benignly, the nurse replied, "Mandatory check, sir. We have to check vitals every two hours. Our patient is due."

"Even if I swear that he's still breathing and was talking just a few hours ago," Gideon retorted sarcastically.

Ignoring his tone, the nurse nodded, "Even if, sir. Besides, that was then and this is now. I've seen things take radically drastic turns within minutes."

"How reassuring!" Gideon hissed.

Flinching as the nurse touched Reid's bandaged wrist, he jerked suddenly and groaned.

Moving to the bedside, Gideon said calmly, "Spencer, it's me. Jason. I'm right here, son."

Breathing heavily, Reid's eyes popped open, looking frantically around.

"Dr. Spencer? Are you experiencing some breathing problems?" the nurse asked sharply.

"Does scaring the shit out of him count?" Gideon asked angrily.

Backing away from the nurse, Reid eyed the woman warily. "I don't know you. And I don't like to be touched."

Smiling, the nurse reached for his hand again. "Well, I won't hurt you, honey."

Jerking his hand from her grip, Reid yelled, "I said I don't like to be touched!"

"Back off," Gideon warned the nurse. "Just don't. Don't touch him again. Reid, I need you to look at me," Jason ordered softly. "I'm right here. Just turn your face and look at me. There's nothing for you to get upset about."

Shaking his head, Reid cowered against his pillow, his breath catching and his hands beginning to shake. "I'm okay," he chanted. "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay."

"Yeah, you will be. But right now, I need you to concentrate."

Looking sharply at Gideon with wide eyes, Spencer asked frantically, "The baby! JJ!"

"JJ's went home to get some sleep, remember? You wanted her to get some rest for her and the baby," Gideon reminded him calmly.

"No, no, no!! My dream! I dreamed about them! She needs to take care of the baby," Spencer rambled desperately.

"Dr. Reid, I need you to calm down," the nurse said slowly.

"Look, it's obvious that the patient isn't in crisis, lady. Do us both a favor and just get out of here," Gideon growled.

Ignoring Gideon, the nurse looked at her patient. "Your breakfast will be here soon, Dr. Reid. And your doctor will be making rounds in about an hour."

Neither Jason or Reid noticed as the nurse left. "JJ has to take care of the baby," Reid said again forcefully.

"You dreamed something happened to the baby, Spencer?" Gideon asked carefully. "What about the dream is bothering you specifically? Can you tell me?" Watching the man in front of him slowly shut down, Gideon fought the urge to try and shake him out of it. Clenching his hand around his coffee cup, he watched Spence turn toward the wall. Fuck! Somehow, he'd lost Spence again. Hopefully, JJ could help him haul him back out of whatever dark abyss he'd entered this time.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Frowning, JJ shook her head at the plate of food Dave slipped in front of her. "No. Uh uh. This isn't going to happen, Dave. I said toast."

Raising his eyebrows at her, Dave calmly reached out to grasp his coffee mug. "There's toast there, Jen. With butter and jelly and whatever else you could possibly want. Eat, Cara," Dave ordered patiently, flipping open the newspaper.

Taking her spoon and delicately swiping everything away from the bread, JJ muttered, "I'll eat the toast. That's all I feel like this morning."

"Fine,' Dave rumbled, not looking up from the paper, "You eat the toast and the baby can have the fruit and cereal."

"I could eat TOAST while we drove to the hospital," JJ complained, taking a sip of her orange juice. "It's not as though it'll be the first time I've ever eaten on the run."

"You really think I'm gonna let that happen?" Dave snorted. "You DO remember who I am, right?"

"Dave-" JJ growled impatiently.

"Babe, I told you. I talked to Hotch this morning. Everything is status quo right now, so just sit back and eat," Dave directed.

Taking a bite of her toast, JJ leaned back in her chair. "Yeah, that's just because Morgan hasn't gotten there yet. He's not exactly happy with the decisions that I made," JJ murmured, her tone troubled.

"He'll get over it," Dave said flatly, looking at her over the paper. "That man will learn to keep his mouth shut unless he's going to bother finding a solution to the problem. Don't worry, he and I had a small discussion last night." Seeing JJ's skeptical look, he continued, "Honey, you knew Jason was the only one that could help him and you took steps to ensure that he got here. You did the right thing."

Feeling his phone buzz inside his pocket, Dave reached for it absently. "Speak of the devil," he murmured.

"Make sure Spencer's okay!" JJ said quickly.

"Babe, I talked to them earlier…he was fine. I'm sure Gideon's just calling to complain about the coffee or something. Relax," he said flipping open the phone and saying a terse, "Rossi."

"Dammit, Dave! You and JJ need to get back over here now," Gideon said, his words clipped and sharp.

Smiling reassuringly at JJ, Dave said calmly, "Yeah, Jase, we're fine. Just eating breakfast now."

"Get it to go," Jason hissed. "Spencer is regressing and we've only got a small window here. I need JJ."

"You sure about that?" Dave asked, his forehead wrinkling.

"I'm standing right beside the man, Rossi," Jason bit out. "He's barely responding to any kind of stimuli. He had a dream about JJ and the baby and it sent him into a tailspin. So get that pregnant sweetheart of yours back over here now. I don't know how but she and that kid are the key. That means I…he needs her."

"Ten minutes, Gid," Dave stated, snapping closed the phone and staring across the table at JJ's pale face.

"Ten minutes, what?" JJ asked nervously. "What happened?"

Draining his coffee, Dave stood. "There isn't anything to panic about, Jen, but we need to get back over to the hospital."

Pushing the plate away from her, JJ ordered, "Tell me what's going on, Dave."

Reaching for her hand and wrapping it in his steady grip, Dave said quietly, "First, you have to promise me that you'll take care of yourself and stay calm."

Glaring at him, JJ tried to pull her hand away only to have him tighten his grip. "I want to know what's wrong!"

Guiding he toward the living room, Dave ordered softly, "Get your bag, Cara. Gideon said Reid has experienced a bit of a setback and he seems to think that you talking to him will help."

"He didn't…he hasn't…" JJ began, her face crumpling.

"NO!" Dave said, pulling her into his arms. "God, no! He hasn't hurt himself, Bella. But right now, Gideon thinks that seeing you will probably be the best medicine for him. So, let's get you moving, okay?"


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Barely allowing Dave to park the vehicle before she had her seat belt unfastened and door swung open, she felt Dave grab her arm in a gentle grip. "Jen, listen to me."

Flashing him an impatient look, JJ shook her head. "We don't have time for deep conversations right now, David! We've got to get up to Spencer's room," she said, trying to pull away.

"Just for a second, Bella," Dave said, tightening his grip.

Turning to face him again, JJ ordered tightly, "Talk fast, Rossi or you're going to lose that hand. I'm not going to risk losing him again."

"I understand that, JJ. But I will not risk you or the baby. You have to promise me that you'll take it easy. You aren't in any condition to take on a lot of additional stress."

Tugging against his fingers, JJ shook her head. "I'm fine, David. Really," she declared breezily. "And I plan on staying that way. Now, are you gonna help me down out of this thing or do you expect me to jump?"

"Sit still, Jen," he said, squeezing lightly. In seconds, he was standing at her door, hands wrapped around her hips, easing her from the seat. Keeping his hand wrapped around hers and measuring his steps, he was determined not to let go. He knew if he did, JJ would be sprinting across the parking lot, pregnant or not.

"Good God, Dave, little old ladies move faster than you do!" JJ growled.

"Sweetheart, are you trying to compare me to a senior citizen…cause I think I proved this morning -"

"Don't finish that thought," JJ hissed as they stepped into the elevator. "At the rate we're moving Spence is gonna think I'm not coming!"

Pulling her against his side, JJ looked up at him with surprised eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked cautiously.

"Babe, if you don't know by now, I'm evidently doing it wrong," he said softly, bending to capture her lips gently, fitting her small body to his.

As he finally drew back, JJ stared up at him. "What was that for?"

"You wouldn't give me a chance to kiss you properly before we left the house at a dead run. So," he murmured, brushing her hair behind her ear, "I wanted to take a second and remind you that I love you."

Leaning her head against his chest, JJ whispered, "Good."

Taking a deep breath as they stepped off the elevator, Dave kept his arm wrapped around her.

Spotting Hotch outside Reid's door, JJ rushed toward him. "What's going on?"

"Honestly, JJ, I'm not sure," Hotch replied. "All Gideon has told us is that he had called you all and let you know that Reid was insistent that he needed to know that you and the baby were okay."

They all watched as the door behind Hotch opened and Gideon stepped out.

Seeing JJ and Rossi, Gid growled, "Took you both goddamn long enough!"

"We got here as quickly as we could! I told you we should have moved faster!!" JJ said, looking up at Dave.

Putting his hand against her lower back, Dave shook his head. "We aren't gonna go there, Jen." Looking at Gideon, Rossi growled, "She's here now. Don't make her feel guilty because I wouldn't let her break her neck doing it!"

Scrubbing a hand down his face, his expression pained, Gid said hoarsely, "Look, JJ, it came out wrong, okay? But if you'd seen what I saw…he's slipping away again."

Feeling JJ inching back into his chest, Dave wrapped his arms around her waist. "But she has seen it, Jason! She had a ringside seat for it, as a matter of fact."

"This isn't helping Reid," Hotch said calmly. "We can stand here all day debating the situation and blaming each other OR we can see if JJ can help Reid."

"I wanna talk to him. Get out of the way, Jason," JJ said, starting for the door.

Grabbing her arm, Dave shook his head. "Not without me, Jennifer."

Nodding, JJ replied, "I'm not gonna waste time arguing with a brick wall. But you sit in the corner and stay quiet. You have a tendency to scare Spence sometimes."

"Yeah, cause Dave is SUCH a scary guy," Gideon snorted.

"I can live with your rules if you remember mine," Dave stated evenly, following her into the room.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Walking into the small room, JJ caught her breath and faltered.

Feeling Dave's hand wrap around her arm to steady her, she heard his hushed whisper, "Bella, it's okay."

Shaking her head from side to side, her eyes rounded she felt like she'd been paralyzed. "NO! No it isn't! This is how he looked before Gideon got here. Remember? That blank expression…I should never have let you talk me into leaving. I told you!" JJ cried, fighting her tears.

"Again," Dave authoritatively said, "We aren't going to go there. Right now, you need to concentrate on what you can do in this moment to help him."

Bobbing her head, JJ took another step toward the bed. Reaching his side, she gently reached for his hand. "Spence? It's me. It's JJ. A little birdie told me that you were asking for me." Waiting, JJ watched his blank face, completely void of expression. Squeezing his fingers, she tried again. "Gideon mentioned that you were worried about the baby. But we're both here now, Spence." JJ heard David quietly slip into the chair by the door and found herself comforted by the knowledge that he was there with her. But she'd take those feelings out and examine them later.

Taking the chair beside his bed and maintaining her grip on his hand, JJ turned to Rossi. "I think maybe we should have Gideon come in here with us. He got through to him once already."

"Babe, give yourself a chance first," Dave advised steadily. Gazing at Spencer, Dave said gently, "He's locked himself away again, Jen. Just talk to him. Try to coax him out of his shell."

Nodding, JJ turned back around to look at Spence. Eyes trained on her friend as her hand stroked his, JJ told him, "I'm not going anywhere, you know? Whenever you want to talk, I'll be ready. We're all here waiting for you. So, I guess we'll just camp out here with you for awhile. I think the baby may appreciate the quiet. I don't think she's really going to be a morning person."

JJ attempted to keep her face impassive as Spencer suddenly turned toward her. Smiling reassuringly, she released the breath she'd been holding. Suddenly flashing to a memory of her and her father in the woods looking at a deer, she remembered her daddy telling her not to make any sudden movements. That's what this moment reminded her of…she had to be careful not to frighten him any more than he already was.

Swallowing, Spencer asked hoarsely, "Do you think about her a lot?"

"The baby?" JJ asked, cocking her head. "I think about her constantly, Spence."

"Is it strange…having something inside you…overtaking your body, making you make decisions that you don't necessarily want to make?"

Easing back into her chair, JJ looked at Spence. "It did at first."

"How…how did you deal with it? Don't you want to make it go away?"

Realizing quickly that he was no longer talking about her situation, so much as his own, JJ sighed. "In the beginning…those first few weeks after I found out she was coming, I didn't know whether I wanted to scream or cry. I had no idea what I was going to do or how I was gonna handle it."

"You were really that upset?" Reid asked, eyes beginning to focus on her.

"There were moments, Spence. Not a lot of them. But some. Moments when I just wanted to close my eyes and never have to open them back up."

"But the baby…" Spence said haltingly.

"That's why I kept hanging on. The very thing that sometimes seemed to want to shove me over the edge is the very thing that kept me clinging to the side."

"I know you didn't want it," Reid said distantly, shaking his head.

Flinching at the factual statement, JJ shook her head. "I want her now. I didn't want it to happen the WAY it happened." Rubbing her tummy, subconsciously trying to protect her daughter, JJ continued as she felt Dave move beside her and cover her shoulder with a warm hand, kneading softly. "The way it happened was horrible, but it wasn't her fault. The drama that came along with it wasn't her fault."

Turning back to face the wall, Reid mumbled, "You got a happy ending though. At the end, you'll have somebody that loves you just because you're her mother."

"Spencer, I pray my baby loves me. I already love her more than anything in the world. But, I want her to love other people to…to grow up and be a great person that helps others."

"And if she disappoints you…if she's not perfect…" Spencer questioned, not moving.

"I don't care what she does, Spence. I'll still love her. It's what a mother does."

"You sound so sure," Reid whispered.

"I am sure, Reid. I'm giving this baby life. But, I also realize that what she chooses to do with that life isn't my decision. It's beyond my control. Now, she's dependent on me for everything and she does get to call some of the shots…but it won't always be that way."

"You won't just kick her out, will you? You won't leave her alone like he-"

"Like your father?" JJ asked quietly. "No, Reid, I could never just walk away. A family should stick together…like you and your mom did. Blood doesn't define family either, Spence. Dave is going to be our daughter's father even though he isn't biologically related to her."

Surprised, Reid finally turned over to look at her with wide eyes. "Really? You're okay with that?"

"Damn right she is," Dave muttered.

Ignoring him other than to deliver a sharp elbow in his left kidney, JJ smiled. "I want him to be her daddy just as much as he wants to be one. That's family, Spence. And you're part of that family." Wincing as she felt the baby deliver a sharp kick, Dave kneeled quickly beside her.

"What's wrong?" Dave asked in a low voice.

Covering his hand as it rubbed circles on her belly, she shook her head. "The munchkin decided it was time to try and rearrange my internal organs again."

"Can I feel?" Reid whispered.

Helping JJ stand, she moved next to the bed, gently picking up Spencer's hand and placing it on her belly. "She's not usually very active at this time of day…like I said, she isn't a morning person."

Feeling JJ's stomach, Reid looked discomfited. "It's hard."

"Yeah…and they say it's gonna get worse," JJ laughed.

Reid's eyes widened in amazement as he felt the baby move underneath JJ's shirt. Yelping, he jerked his hand away. "She jerked! Oh God, I hurt her!"

Chuckling, Rossi shook his head as he slipped his arms back around JJ's waist. Grabbing Reid's hand he replaced it on JJ's tummy. "You didn't hurt her, Reid."

"No more than Dave does when he holds us," JJ quickly assured him.

Jerking his hand back again, Reid shook his head furiously. "No, I shouldn't touch her! Babies don't like me!"

"How many babies have you known, Spence?" JJ asked, smiling.

"Well, none, I guess."

"Well, this baby wants to know YOU. That means you have to stick around for us. Is that something you want? To get to know your niece?"

Staring at the ceiling, Reid said nothing.

Seeing JJ's face begin to fall, Dave tugged her back against his chest. "Honey, he's shutting down. Perhaps, we should let him rest."

"No. Not this time. Not until he answers me!" Leaning toward Spencer, JJ said forcefully, "I KNOW that you're in there, Spencer Reid! I know you can hear everything I'm saying. I'm not leaving…not until I get an answer from you!"

"Babe, come on. You need to relax," Dave murmured, pulling her arm gently.

Jerking out of his grasp, JJ shook her head angrily. "I said no, damn it! I'm not leaving him." Turning back to Reid, JJ said clearly, "Spencer, you get to have a choice. I want you in my family. The rest of the team…they already think of you as family. And this little girl," JJ said, putting his hand on her stomach, "she deserves a chance to get to know her Uncle Spencer!"

JJ waited patiently for long minutes, gripping Spencer's hand.

"Come on, Bella, that's enough for now. We'll come back later,' Dave said, wrapping strong arms around her body as she leaned against him.

Loosening her grip on Reid's hand, JJ wiped a tear away.

Finally, haltingly, Reid spoke. "I- I don't know h-how to be an uncle."

"I don't know how to be a mother either, but everybody keeps saying that I'll learn it as I go along. Might as well learn together."

"Together, huh?" Reid said hoarsely, blinking quickly. Watching JJ nod encouragingly, he whispered, "I can do that…but you can't let him yell at me when the baby cries just because I look at her."

"No, son, that'll happen when Jason looks at her," Dave quietly chuckled.

"My baby is going to be a perfect angel. No tears."

Reid smiled wanly and JJ couldn't help the sudden euphoria that overwhelmed her. "You're gonna be okay, Spence."

Nodding, Reid yawned. "I must be more tired than I thought. I don't think I slept much last night."

"There was a lot of that going around, I hear," Rossi muttered.

Elbowing him again, JJ smiled complacently. "It's okay, Spence. Just close your eyes and rest when you need to."

"The nurse said my doctor was coming," Reid said softly.

"If you wanna rest, Reid, then you rest. The rest of us will handle your doctor," Rossi assured him.

"Somebody will stay?" Reid asked hesitantly.

"One of us is gonna be here all the time, Spence. Nobody's left you yet and we're not gonna stop now."

Reid nodded and turned to face the wall again.

"You did good, honey," Dave whispered against her ear as JJ leaned heavily against him.

"I didn't know. I never knew how abandoned he felt," JJ whispered back.

Stroking her hair as he pulled her into the wall of his chest, he said softly, "He's not been abandoned now, JJ. He's been found…and you made him see that. Now, do you want to stay for awhile or let some of the others come back in."

Glancing at the bed, JJ smiled. "He isn't clenching the sheet, Dave."

"I can see that," Dave grinned. "It's a good sign, honey. He's not searching for a safety net."

"I bet Morgan and Penelope have gotten here by now and I can't imagine Garcia not chomping at the bit to get in here."

"True. Morgan can keep her company. It'll be good for both of them to see him making progress."

"But just because I'm agreeing to this, Dave, don't think you're getting me out of here. I'm not leaving the hospital this time until I know that he's completely out of danger."

Leading her to the door, he heard JJ ask quietly, "He's gonna make it right, Dave?"

"Yeah, he is, babe. And we'll all be here to help him."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Five pairs of eyes met the couple as they stepped back into the waiting room.

"Well! Speak, damn it!" Gideon ordered.

"I will," JJ said softly, "but, first, someone needs to be in there with Spencer. He doesn't want to be alone. Why don't you go on in, Penelope. I'm sure Morgan will join you in a second."

Looking from Derek to Rossi to Gideon, Penelope narrowed her eyes on Morgan. "Behave yourself, Hot Stuff. My punishments are deadly and my memory is long," she ordered, moving around JJ to go inside Reid's room.

Nodding, Morgan muttered, "I won't be long, Mama."

Turning with her hand on the doorknob, Garcia asked, "He's okay?"

"For now," JJ nodded. "But he was tired. I think he's going to try to sleep so don't be alarmed if he doesn't want to talk."

Lifting her bag to show JJ, Garcia replied, "I came prepared…I'll just tap away for awhile. I've got a few things I can catch up on while Reid naps," she said, slipping into the room and closing the door softly.

As soon as the door closed, Morgan echoed Gideon's sentiments. "Come on, Jayje. Tell us what we want to know!"

Opening her mouth to respond, Dave cut her off. "First, you sit down. There's no reason to have this conversation standing in the middle of the hallway."

"You're doing it again," JJ muttered, rolling her eyes as he led her to the chairs of the waiting room.

"Don't care," he said, mimicking her tone.

"And what is he doing exactly, JJ?" Emily asked with a gentle smile.

"Being an overprotective ass," JJ said shortly, glaring at Rossi. "It's a characteristic that he doesn't seem to understand is unbecoming."

"Not a new or unusual condition for Dave," Hotch said with dry wit.

Settling more deeply into the cushioned seat, JJ snorted. "Yeah, but he's taken it to even more obnoxious levels of late."

"Okay, okay! We've established that Rossi is an overprotective dictatorial pain in the ass! But is there any NEW information on Reid?" Gideon asked anxiously.

"I honestly think he's doing better now, Jason. He even smiled once before he decided that he wanted to get some sleep," JJ explained quietly.

"He's not shutting down again?" Gideon asked, relief flooding his body.

"Once he got to talk to JJ about the baby, I think some of his worries were dispelled," Dave said.

"He's so scared of being alone in the world," JJ murmured. "I know his mother was sick and couldn't help the way she was…but his father! I could happily maim that man for walking away from a six year old genius."

"Abandonment issues," Gideon muttered. "Explains a lot."

"I think he's going to be watching what happens when this baby is born," JJ whispered.

"I'm not following," Morgan said, confused.

"He's projecting himself into JJ's situation," Rossi replied.

"Huh?" Morgan grunted.

"He wants to see if JJ's baby has a real family…and that, in his mind, will determine if he has one, too," Hotch stated evenly.

"I'm afraid so," JJ replied. "But I did make him understand that as the baby's uncle, he has to be around to fulfill that role."

"So, long story short, the kid needs to understand that this is his family and that family isn't gonna leave him…no matter how fucked up things get." Turning to glare at Gideon, Morgan growled, "I guess you'd better walk on out now if you're gonna go, Old Man, because I swear to God, I'll kill you myself if you screw with that kid's mind anymore!"


	32. Chapter 32

**_A/N - Greetings! I hope you are all enjoying this exciting journey. We're definitely still enjoying writing it! I just wanted to take this opportunity to let readers know that I will be posting again on Monday. We're going to take this weekend and try to get some additional chapters and stories in the Vault. As ever, I still appreciate all the feedback and reviews you guys offer. It keeps me inspired and gives me hope that we're still on the right track. And, like always, I couldn't do any of this without my great co-author and friend, tonnie2001969. She's a rock. And without her outlines and plot direction, none of the magic happens! And remember, we don't own Criminal Minds. _**

**Chapter 32**

"Damn it, Morgan," Gideon groaned. "Give it a rest already. I've already said that I'm not going anywhere again. What else do you want from me?"

"I don't want a damn thing from you, man. It's not about what I need from you. It's about what Reid needs. You and I…we don't matter. But you've heard the doctors…you've heard Reid himself. He can't handle any more instability. It'll break him."

"You think I don't realize that, Derek?" Gideon asked quietly, aware that they had an audience.

"I think realizing it and comprehending it are two very separate things," Morgan returned quietly. "You leaving the unit had repercussions. And I'm not talking about the bureaucratic nightmare that Hotch dealt with. You hurt him. Whether it was your intention or not isn't relevant."

"And I'm standing here trying to repair the damage," Gideon replied seriously.

"For how long, Gideon? How long will it take you to break again? How long before it all gets to be too much again and you hightail it out of here?" Morgan asked, no longer sounding as judgmental as he'd been.

Noticing the change in his demeanor, Gideon looked around at the group surrounding them. "Why don't you all give Morgan and me a few minutes?"

Nodding, Dave urged JJ toward the door. "I think we'll all go get some coffee."

"Dave-," JJ began, unsure whether it was safe to leave these two volatile men alone.

"They need to work it out between them, Bella. We can't do it for them," Dave murmured against her ear. Looking at Gideon, he held up his cell phone. "Call if anything changes," he ordered.

Nodding, Gideon watched as Garcia tentatively touched Derek's tense arm.

"Play nice, Handsome. No matter how you feel or what you may think, Reid loves Gideon like a father. Remember that," she said quietly.

Nodding jerkily once, Morgan muttered, "I'll keep my cool, Mama."

As Emily linked her arm through Garcia's and followed JJ and Rossi toward the elevator, Hotch looked between the two men. "Don't get us thrown out of here," he said, his voice low in the nearly deserted hallway. "And work this out. Tension between us is going to be sensed by Reid. I think we can all agree that's the last thing he needs." Gaining a nod from both men, Hotch sighed. "We'll give you half an hour," he said, quickly departing behind his colleagues.

Both men watched as the elevator door closed on their concerned co-workers. Turning to face Morgan, Gideon gave the younger man a slow assessing look. "We've got to stop going for each other's throats," he stated quietly. "It isn't accomplishing anything. You want me to be sorry, Derek? I am. I'm sorry for walking away from Spence when he needed me. I'm sorry for not being here for him when this happened. I'm sorry, period. But, I can't change any of that. What I can do is help him find his way back to us now. But, I can't do that with you dogging my every move."

"And you just expect me to trust that you've got his best interests at heart? After everything?" Derek snorted.

"Drop the act, Morgan. The tough guy persona doesn't do a thing for me, kid," Gideon muttered, much aware that Morgan used that harsh façade to hide a truly gentle heart. "You're forgetting I know you, too. Spencer isn't the only one that has abandonment issues."

"Don't!" Morgan hissed. "Don't even try to make this about me!"

"Why not? Part of it is, isn't it?" Gideon asked, raising a dark eyebrow. "Your father left you at a young age, too, didn't he?"

"My father DIED. He couldn't help what happened. You don't have his excuse," Derek growled, clenching his fists at his side.

"You're wrong. When Sarah died…because of me…a part of me died that night, too. I wasn't the man you knew when I left here, Morgan," Gideon explained quietly. "If I had stayed, it's entirely possible that I would have destroyed Spencer. I was in no shape to be anyone's father figure…anyone's friend then. I left to protect him…to protect all of you."

"So that's how you justify it to yourself, huh?" Morgan snorted, the light of disbelief in his eyes.

"Call it what you want…a justification, an excuse, doesn't make it any less true," Gideon shrugged. Staring into the young man's turbulent eyes, he swallowed before somberly saying, "The one thing I can tell you is that I DIDN'T want to hurt Reid. I didn't want to hurt ANYONE."

As Morgan looked at his one-time mentor, he saw the honesty shining in the older man's eyes. "You tell me the truth right now, Old Man," Derek ground out. "Are you going to leave again?"

Was he? Gideon thought carefully about his answer as Derek stood waiting for a reply. Licking his lips, Gideon said carefully, "You're asking for a promise I can't give you, Morgan. Right now, in this moment, I don't have any intention of leaving again. But, I don't know what the future may hold. When Spencer's better, he may have so much resentment toward me that he wants me gone. If he tells me to go…once he's healthy again, I'll go. I can say this though…I won't willingly leave again…and if I do, it won't be without saying goodbye first."

Digesting his words, Morgan finally dropped his head. "The kid's never gonna want to let you go, Gid. There hasn't been a day since you left that he hasn't mentioned you. You're his touchstone. Without you, the kid was lost," Morgan confided quietly.

"Then hopefully I can help him find his way back to us," Gideon offered, his words barely audible. Studying Morgan's tired face, he quietly asked, "So, are we okay?"

Lips tightening, Morgan shrugged. "We will be. In time, we will be."


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Settling himself at the table in the corner of the cafeteria, David Rossi looked around at the seriously concerned faces surrounding him and sighed. Hell, even the eternal optimist was gonna get wrinkles if she kept frowning like that.

"People," he said slowly, "you're all gonna have to learn to relax. Otherwise the upcoming weeks and months are gonna be endless."

Gazing toward the cafeteria doors, Penelope whispered worriedly, "No offense, Agent Rossi, but you don't know Morgan like I do. You may understand Agent Gideon, but I don't think you know Derek quite as well as you think you do."

"Morgan will be fine," Dave replied steadily, watching JJ out of the corner of his eye.

"Does everybody realize that we left the two most volatile members of this group standing alone in front of Spence's hospital room door? Alone. Unsupervised," JJ muttered, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"They aren't children, Jen. They're two fully grown, entirely mature men," Dave reasoned.

"That's debatable," Emily murmured into her Styrofoam cup. Lifting her head, Emily eyed Dave warily. "I don't want to offend you since you and Gideon go so far back, but I'm not entirely sure that we were wise to leave him up there. He's still so…soo…"

"Damaged?" Rossi asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, for lack of a better word, yes," Hotch said bluntly, focusing his laser-like gaze on Dave.

"You're both absolutely right," Rossi shrugged.

"How can you be so nonchalant about that?" JJ snapped.

"Would denying the truth help you, Bella? Help Reid in some way? Look, of all of you, I seem to remain the most unbiased faction of this team. If that makes me the bad guy, so be it. I can take it," Dave returned calmly, watching JJ's face as his words hung in the air.

"What do you mean by that? Is unbiased code for not giving a damn?" Garcia asked quickly, narrowing her eyes on the older man across the table. He might only love JJ, but she loved each one of their team. Almost. At the moment, she wasn't real sure how she felt about him.

"Of course not. But it isn't a secret that all of you are closer to Reid than I am. It stands to reason that I might view this situation a little more impartially." Taking a sip from the cup in his hand, Dave grimaced. Damn, he missed decent coffee. "Listen, guys, Gideon IS damaged. The demons he left here with are still haunting him. That didn't change just because we gave him something to focus on. You might all remember that when you feel the urge to do him bodily harm."

"Dave, Gideon's wounds are something that he's at least partially inflicted on himself. He chose to leave rather than ask for help," Hotch replied evenly.

"Unlike Reid?" Rossi asked, raising a dark brow.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Emily snapped, growing impatient.

"I mean that Gideon isn't the only one of our team that has tried running away. Reid simply chose a different path…a much more permanent path. And none of you seem to be condemning him right now. Gideon simply left. Reid tried to end his life," Dave shrugged.

"Which," Penelope huffed, "when he is all better and on the road to mental health again, I fully intend to kick his ass for. But I still don't see the correlation you're trying to make here."

"He's telling us all to ease up on Jason," Hotch sighed. "That what one member of this team did, is no more or less important, than what another does."

"AND, that all evidence indicates that Gideon is trying very hard to do what's right for Reid right now. He was brave enough to return and confront his past…for Reid," JJ added quietly.

"I guess that DOES take some guts," Penelope grudgingly conceded.

"And an overwhelming amount of devotion," Emily whispered.

"All I'm saying is that I don't think Jason is quite the selfish man some of us have made him out to be in our minds," Dave stated calmly, looking at each of the faces surrounding their small table.

"Each one of us has our own personal demons," Hotch agreed slowly. "But," he said, catching Dave's eyes, "we MUST make sure those demons don't adversely affect Reid."

"True," Rossi shrugged. "But Jason's departure all those years ago…Reid might be able to understand it better now…thus, eliminating some of those feelings of abandonment."

"I hate it when you're right," Emily grumbled. "It was really a lot easier when we could just blame Gideon for this."

Shaking his head, Dave replied, "You ALL know that isn't the case. Even Morgan, deep down knows that. Reid is responsible for Reid's actions. He made a choice. A bad one. An almost catastrophic one. For his own reasons. None of us should try and put that onto Jason's shoulders…unless you truly do want to watch him implode."

"You can't deny that Jason had something to do with all this, Dave," JJ replied quietly. "It's not his fault…but it was a factor."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Only Reid knows his reasons for doing what he did. And he isn't being forthcoming yet. What I do know is that while Spencer may be sick, he's still a grown man. I think we all need to remember that," Dave said firmly. "For him to get any better, we all need to stop making excuses for his actions. And put the blame where it truly lies."

"You want us to be mad at Spence?" JJ asked incredulously.

"No, I want you to realize that each person here controls their own actions. Some are weaker than others and turn to an addiction. But that addiction doesn't make them any less culpable."

"Well, I for one am angry with our resident genius," Penelope remarked, looking around the table. "He could have come to any of us. We'd have helped him."

"It's entirely possible that by the time he realized he needed our help, it was too late, Garcia," Rossi explained quietly. "Addicts can be unpredictable. Addicts with deeper issues, even more so. The important thing now is that we provide him a unified front of support. All of us. Together."


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Three days later, Dr. Spencer Reid sat nervously in front of a wide oak desk, idly picking at invisible lint on his green plaid lounge pants. Tapping his sneaker clad foot on the carpeted floor, he listened to the steady ticking on the clock on the wall. Each click only served to remind him that the seconds were turning into minutes, minutes into hours, and hours into days. And all of them were slipping away from him.

Sighing uncharacteristically as he glanced around the generic office, he couldn't help but thinking that this was a waste of time. He was never going to feel comfortable enough to share anything about his life with a complete stranger. It was hard enough for him to confide in his so-called friends.

But, Gideon was right. If he was ever going to be released from this place, he was going to have to be evaluated. And he did want to be released, to be back in his own familiar surroundings. Add that to the fact that Hotch had made it a direct order rather than a request, and here he was. Waiting. Nervously. Anxiously. For some stranger to begin psychoanalyzing him.

He knew he could deliver the "correct" answers. It was easy, given the fact that he'd spent the majority of his short career asking the questions. It hadn't taken him long to become an expert in the human psyche, to recognize when someone was giving him the responses that were sure to score positively. And he had learned a few tricks of his own along the way. But he'd promised JJ that he'd be honest….not "right", as the case may be. More than once over the past few days, that little blonde had been insistent that he didn't need to give her answers just to make her feel better. And Rossi's comments that he'd never get better unless he faced his demons still rang in his ears, the words edging deeper and deeper each moment to reach a part of his mind where it actually started to make sense.

But, honestly, the thoughts of reliving his past didn't exactly fill him with a feeling of ease. Quite the opposite, in fact. His stomach was rolling with dread at the thoughts of opening doors he'd much rather keep chained and bolted. He didn't want to discuss his deep dark secrets. They were deep and dark because he kept them far, far from the light. Honestly, he just wanted to find a way to shove them in a locked box and keep them there. Unfortunately, neither these doctors nor his team seemed to agree with him. So, he was left without a choice.

Not facing his past was evidently not going to be an option for him.

His self-introspection faded quickly, though, as a new click invaded his consciousness. Taking a deep breath, he knew that he was about to start a process that he'd much rather ignore completely. Turning his head as he heard the door swing open, he was faced with a small boned redhead with a heart shaped face. And to his surprise, her eyes captured him immediately…they were kind. Like JJ's.

Walking easily across the muted grey carpet, she extended her hand toward him.

"You must be Dr. Reid. I'm Doctor Ainsley Lynde. But everyone here just calls me Ains, so feel free," the soft spoken doctor greeted him, shaking his hand with a firm sure grip. Reid had perfunctorily grasped her fingers, not even remembering at that moment that he really didn't like to touch another person's hand. Her strength had flowed against his skin for just that moment, and he couldn't help be once again be reminded of JJ.

Walking around her desk, Ainsley dropped the file in her hand on the wood surface with a plop before taking her seat. "So," she said, lifting her eyes to meet Spencer's, "it would seem that I'm going to be your therapist over the next several months. Would you prefer me call you Doctor Reid?"

"Just Reid is fine, ma'am," Spencer said quietly, measuring the small woman across the desk. She seemed like a genuinely happy person, her expression unguarded and open. He didn't see any shadows in her eyes, not like the ones he saw in his own whenever he allowed himself to glance in the mirror.

"Okay, Reid. Tell me how you think I can help you," she suggested, settling back in the chair as she stared at his neutral face.

"I'm sorry," Reid said in confusion, his eyes sharpening on hers as he cocked his head to the side. The ticking of the second hand tickled his ears again for a second as he tried to understand any hidden meanings in her seemingly simple question.

"I'm asking you what you hope to gain in therapy," Ainsley explained gently, sliding a piece of paper over his file on her desk. "What's your motivation for being here?"

"Uhhmmm, I don't think I really have a choice," Reid said quietly, averting his eyes from hers, suddenly uncomfortable under the woman's scrutiny. Those eyes that he had thought were kind in the beginning suddenly developed a laser-like intensity, and he wondered if this doctor had the ability to see into those hidden recesses of his mind.

"That's not true, Reid," Ainsley said quietly, leaning forward on her desk. "Everyone has a choice. You could check yourself out of here right now and no one could do anything about it," Ainsley informed him, tilting her head as she tried to assess her patient's expression.

"No, I can't," Reid whispered, turning away from her, staring at the Picasso print on the wall, the mild cubism drawing his attention. It was a cheap imitation, not even a credible reproduction, but it was better than meeting that woman's probing eyes.

"Why not?" Ainsley asked curiously, propping her chin in her hand as she noticed his sudden interest in the piece of art.

"Because people have expectations," Reid replied uneasily, slowly, his words directed toward the wall, his eyes still tracing the heavy black outline of the drawn figure. Whispering, he added, almost sadly, "I can't disappoint them again."

"What people?" Ainsley prodded, taking advantage of the slight opening this withdrawn man was giving her. Honestly, she had entered the room with two distinct ideas in mind of what his response would be, not certain of exactly what she would be facing. But she had known that her patient was equipped with a strong support system, a group of people dedicated to his recovery. And in her line of work, that was often half the battle, if and when she could help the patient understand that pertinent fact.

"My co-workers," Reid muttered, gripping the edge of his chair just a bit tighter as he felt himself having to open up.

Cocking her head at his generic reply, Ainsley snorted in a definite unladylike manner as she said, "Most people wouldn't give a damn what someone as insignificant as a co-worker thought."

Barely tilting his head, Reid felt himself agreeing with that statement, his mind conceding that the doctor might have a salient point. "My co-workers aren't the usual brainless colleagues you find in the common community. My colleagues are more like…family," Reid replied, silently adding loud and annoying to his description of his quasi family.

"Family, huh?" Ainsley prompted, delving a bit deeper as she felt her patient widening the door just a hairbreadth more. Nodding casually toward the closed door behind him, she said, casually, "I'm guessing those are the people filling my waiting room right now."

"Yeah," Reid muttered, grimacing at the thought of all of them waiting, waiting for him, just a few feet away. Shrugging, he added, tucking one leg around the edge of the chair, "I told them all to go home and they refused."

"Why do you think that is?" Ainsley asked, watching his body language, noting his attempts to bond closer to his chair.

"Differing reasons," Reid sighed as he hedged slightly, glancing over at the woman behind the desk, her neutral expression not releasing any information to him.

"Well," Ainsley sighed as she leaned back into the leather chair, "your HMO is paying for another hour, so, why don't you start talking…get your money's worth, Dr. Reid." Smiling gently as she saw his doubtful look, she knew that he needed more reassurance than she had yet provided. If she was asking him to open up to her, then she needed to give him a reason to trust her. Steepling her hands, she said calmly, "I've read your file, Doctor. I've seen your IQ and if it makes you feel any more comfortable, mine is a point higher than yours. I know what I'm doing on this side of the desk."


	35. Chapter 35

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 35**

Sighing as he settled uncomfortably in his chair, Spencer realized the woman in front of him wasn't going to be dissuaded. She seemed reasonably determined and fairly intelligent, regardless of what her IQ might or might not be. Not only that, but he had to respect the fact that she had a job to do. A job that, if the appearance of things was any indication, meant a lot to her. "Honestly," he finally said softly, dragging his eyes away from the painting, "I don't know why they all care so much. It's not as though…." he trailed off.

"As though what, Dr. Reid?" Ainsley prodded gently, keeping her voice modulated, knowing that any attempt to push might be construed as an intrusion or a breach of trust. Every fiber of this man's being was literally screaming at her that he didn't trust easily, and she knew that she was treading on fragile ground as she delved ever-so-slightly deeper.

"As if they couldn't do their jobs without me," Spencer finished softly, a soft shrug lifting his shoulders as he dropped his eyes back to his hands. His mind wandered for a moment, returning back to the first day that Gideon had brought him to the BAU. Some of the people might have changed over these past years, but he had never lost that feeling of never being a part of the cohesive unit, of never being absolutely necessary. And he had never shared that with anyone. Until today.

"I personally feel like your role on your team is the least of their concerns. I got the impression that each of those people out there," she said, nodding toward her closed office door, "has a very personal stake in your recovery." Consulting her notepad, she asked carefully, "What about Agent Gideon? Why do you think he's waiting outside, Dr. Reid?"

"Guilt," Reid replied stiffly, his fingers tightening around the material of his pants, the rough corduroy biting into his fragile skin.

"Guilt? Why would he feel guilty about a choice you made, Dr. Reid?" Ainsley asked curiously, watching her patient's face pale as she alluded to his responsibility in his suicide attempt.

"I think he feels like he should have been here to stop me. That if he was here, perhaps, I would never have done what I did," Reid said softly, once again refusing to meet the other doctor's eyes. A faint gust of air blew against his ankles as the central heat and air system kicked into gear, and he pulled away quickly, tucking his foot underneath his legs as he tried to escape the air current.

"And would you?" Ainsley prompted, mentally cataloguing his reactions to both her words and his surroundings.

"Would I what?" Reid asked, raising confused eyes to hers, his mind not making the connection, his synapses still uncharacteristically dulled.

"Would you have attempted suicide if Agent Gideon had been an active participant in your life at the time of your breakdown?" Ainsley clarified without mincing words.

Casting his eyes back down at his hands, Reid swallowed, finally admitting, "I don't know if anyone or thing would have changed my mind in that moment. I wasn't thinking clearly."

Nodding, Ainsley decided to move forward, knowing that her patient was attempting to honestly answer her questions. "And what about Jennifer Jareau? Why do you think she's out there?"

A genuine smile tugging at his lips as he thought about the woman who was the closest thing he had to a sister, Reid confided, "She's out there because she'll never concede defeat. She's determined to see me get better."

"And Penelope Garcia?" Ainsley asked, making a note on her pad as she methodically moved through the list of team members.

"There isn't a person on this team that Garcia wouldn't show up for. She's the eternal optimist," Reid said with grudging admiration, the tech genius' chipper voice playing in his mind like a old-world movie reel. "She's been enthusiastically insisting that this therapy will be the best thing for me. That it'll help. She's actually been your biggest cheerleader."

"Your friend happens to be right," Ainsley replied, casually looking up, smiling lightly as she noticed the change in Reid's eyes when he talked about the two determined members of his work team. "This therapy will be the best thing for you. Talk to me about Derek Morgan. Why do you think he's here?"

"Loyalty," Reid supplied without hesitation, his chin jutting out ever so slightly. "In his eyes, a member of his team is down. Whatever my intentions or motivations, Morgan would never leave a man down."

Nodding her understanding, Ainsley offered, "And Emily Prentiss?"

"Obligation, I suppose," he answered after a moment of reflection, remembering for the barest of moments the last conversation he had had with his coworker, the works of Kurt Vonnegut the main theme. Glancing back up at his therapist, he added, "I'm sure you've heard the Prentiss name before. And yes, she is one of those Prentiss'. Daughter to Congressman and Ambassador Prentiss. She was raised on obligation. As a member of her team, she probably feels as though seeing me through this self-inflicted trauma is a requirement. Don't misunderstand, Emily is a good person. But even if she wasn't, she'd still be here."

"I see," Ainsley drawled slowly, noting quickly that even in a compromised state, the man had the ability to read people in ways that most others could never comprehend. "And your Unit Chief? Aaron Hotchner, I believe," Ainsley murmured, glancing at her notes. "What's your analysis there, Doctor Reid?"

"A sense of duty…responsibility, I suppose," Reid mused, turning to stare out the window as a cloud crossed the sun, plunging the small corner in momentary shadows. "Hotch is the head of the unit. He's required to assure the Bureau that all his agents are stable. Until I am, his reputation hangs in the balance."

"Okay, Doctor, I believe the only one that remains is Agent Rossi. Describe his presence out there," she requested, flicking her hand in the direction of the door.

Reid didn't even hesitate as he analyzed the older profiler. "His reasoning is basic. Whatever hurts JJ disturbs him. Motivates him to try to solve whatever problem she has. Right now, I am her problem. Ergo, I'm his."

Dropping her pen to the blotter, Ainsely reclined against her black leather chair as she stared at her patient. So young…so brilliant, and yet, so child-like. "Doctor Reid, I have no doubt that all your analyses are correct. But they are also incomplete. Because you've left out the most important characteristic defining each of these people. They all share a common denominator." Leaning forward, she clasped her hand against the desk, waiting for him to comment, waiting for him to give into to his insatiable need to have all the pieces of the puzzle at his disposal.

Fidgeting in his chair uncomfortably for what seemed like hours, Reid finally couldn't resist asking, "And that is?"

"Why, it's you, Doctor Reid. It's their collective affection and care for your well-being. I've seen it. And trust me, Doctor, it's authentic." Hesitating, Ainsley trained her gaze on him as she asked, "Now, how does that make you feel?"


	36. Chapter 36

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 36**

"Truthfully?" Reid answered nervously, his voice squeaking as he twisted his hands in his lap, his eyes widening almost comically. "Overwhelmed and confused."

Shocked by her patient's candor, Ainsley was momentarily stunned. Her professional experience had taught her that such a breakthrough shouldn't yet be occurring, and yet, she couldn't deny that she had just heard her patient admit his feelings. Recovering quickly, she nodded. "Those are perfectly valid feelings, Doctor Reid. And understandable given recent events in your life."

"You're talking about my mother's death, I assume," Reid replied stiffly, unconsciously drawing his legs and arms closer to his body as he glanced up quickly at the therapist.

"I am," she nodded, her head bobbing once as she calmly met his hesitant gaze. "Would you like to talk about her death, Doctor?" Ainsley asked gently, leaning forward slightly in her seat. She knew this was a moment where she needed to tread very softly, or else her patient would balk entirely and all the good work they'd done today would be for naught.

"What would you like to know, Ma'am?" Spencer asked, averting his eyes, the effort to maintain contact too much for him to be able to sustain. That woman's piercing stare half convinced him that she could read his mind.

"I'd be grateful to hear anything you want to share," she replied evenly. Pushing this young man would achieve absolutely nothing, she reminded herself, schooling her features into what she had found to be a non-threatening but interested expression, meant to inspire confidence.

Licking his lips with a raspy tongue, Spence felt a sudden tightening in his throat as his mother's face flashed in his mind. Inhaling quickly as he shook his head, trying to gain some control, he blurted, "It's my fault, you know? That she's dead…It's my fault."

"I sincerely doubt that, Doctor Reid," Ainsley said softly, her voice a stark difference from the young man's frantic tone. "But why don't you explain to me why you think that," she probed gently.

"If I'd have been a better son…" he began, his voice agitated and uneven as he tried to make sense of his thoughts, to put his erratic memories into words. Feeling his grip on reality starting to slide again, he grabbed the sides of his chair, tightening his grip almost painfully against the polished wood as he attempted to hold onto something, anything.

"You'd have still had a very disturbed parent. Your mother was ill, Doctor. Schizophrenia, I believe," Ainsley said calmly, consulting her notes as she mentally noted the physical change in her patient.

"Ye-Yes," Spencer replied hoarsely, her warm, kind tone soothing him, pulling him back into the present. "She was sick all my life," he whispered, almost clinically. "My earliest memories are of her telling me that someone was after us. She was asking me why I couldn't hear the voices," he said, closing his eyes as memories washed over him, an unceasing flood.

"She wasn't medicated when you were young then?" Ainsley asked, watching her patient's tense face for signs of further distress, fully prepared to stop her questioning if necessary.

"No, she wasn't," Spencer revealed with a quick negative shake of his head. "She wasn't even formally diagnosed until I had her committed when I was eighteen." Meeting the young woman's eyes, he continued, his voice hardening in the quiet room, "I had her admitted to Belleview Sanitarium against her will eight years ago. I couldn't…no, that's wrong, I wouldn't take care of her."

"You were little more than a child yourself, Doctor Reid. You weren't equipped to deal with her paranoid delusions. You made the choice that was safest for the both of you," Ainsley reasoned, keeping her voice modulated as she watched an angry flush spread across Spencer's cheeks.

"I made the choice that was easiest for me, Doctor. I did it for me, not her," he continued bitterly, his fingers once again tightening against the unforgiving wood, his chewed and bitten fingernails finding no purchase.

"If my information is correct, you spent your entire childhood taking care of your mother, Doctor Reid. I wouldn't classify that as easy in any way," Ainsley pointed out softly.

"She was sick. I wasn't…at least not then," Spencer shrugged, dropping his eyes again, staring at the modernistic designs in the floor covering, his gaze tracing the erratic black pattern from side to side as he tried to find sense in something.

"I don't believe you're what I'd term as "sick" now either, Doctor Reid. I think you're feeling a huge amount of delayed grief over your mother's death and your lost childhood. I believe you reacted badly and made a terrible decision. But I don't think your version of sick and my version of sick are the same. You aren't like your mother, Doctor Reid," Ainsley said, giving him a partial diagnosis of what she believed she was seeing.

"Yet. I'm not sick yet," Spencer countered, snapping his eyes back up to hers as he felt his jaw clench, the topic almost too much to bear.

"There are no guarantees either way that you'll inherit the disease that plagued your mother," Ainsley said evenly. Glancing at her watch, she lifted her eyes to smile reassuringly at her patient. "Our hour's up, Doctor Reid. I think we made some progress today, don't you?"

"I don't know what to think any more," Reid mumbled, darting his eyes toward the door, freedom hovering just out of reach.

"Well I do. And we've made some inroads. I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Reid. Same place, same time," Ainsley smiled, recognizing the signs of a completed session.

"Any idea when you'll release me to go home?" Reid asked, his question rising in hope as he stared expectantly at the doctor.

Tilting her red head, Ainsley said steadily, "Why don't we address that tomorrow, Doctor."

Nodding once, Reid pulled himself to his feet, dropping his hands into his deep pockets. "You'll talk to them?" he asked, jerking his head toward the door.

"Your friends?" she asked, following his gaze. "That depends on you. What do you want me to do? It's your choice."

Swallowing, Reid bobbed his head, remembering clearly the last time he had talked to JJ, knowing that she was still concerned. "Let them know what you think. They'll find out anyway and you'll never have a moment's peace unless you do."

"Thank you, Doctor. I'll see you tomorrow," Ainsley grinned, her eyes following the young lean man as he walked from her office. Yep, she definitely had her work cut out for her.


	37. Chapter 37

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 37**

Feeling her shift beside him for the fourth time in ten minutes, Dave dropped a long arm around JJ, pulling her firmly against his chest. "You got ants in your pants or something, babe?" he asked, his voice pitched low against her ear.

Leaning back to rest her temple against his cheek as his words tickled her skin, JJ shook her head. "I guess I'm a little more anxious than I thought I'd be. They've been in there a long time, haven't they?" she asked, her eyes traveling toward the closed office door for the umpteenth time, wishing for X-ray vision, supersonic hearing, or any of those other super powers that would allow her to have an inkling of what was happening.

"You heard the receptionist, honey. Each session is an hour and a half. We've still got a bit of time left before you need to start worrying," Dave said quietly, sliding long fingers against her warm skin.

"I don't think I've ever stopped worrying since we found him, David," JJ replied, her voice pitched equally soft in the small room where their team waited.

"Hey, we've seen some improvements. Reid's been moved into a step down unit, Jen. That only serves to reinforce that progress is being made. It may be happening more slowly than we'd like, but it _is_ happening," he reminded her as he smoothed his hand reassuringly up and down her arm.

"I don't know what I was expecting from today. I mean, I know there's no magical cure out there," JJ whispered wistfully, trying unsuccessfully to think of something other than the moment she had found Reid, of those moments when she had fought to keep him alive.

"You want a man you think of as your brother healthy and whole. It's what we all want, babe. It's just gonna take us some time to get him there. But we _will_ get him there. Don't you doubt it," he ordered, his voice low and stern against her ear as he felt her trembling.

"I won't. I don't. Not really. I just wish I could wave a wand over him and heal him myself," JJ grumbled, sighing as his hand dropped to caress her belly.

Nodding, Dave murmured, "Baby okay?" He couldn't help but worry about both of them, this amazing woman and their equally wonderful daughter. And he'd be damned if he allowed anything to harm either one of them, now and for the rest of their lives.

"The peanut is fine," JJ replied, a smile in her voice as she closed her eyes, allowing the comforting feel of his hand to pervade her senses for just a moment.

"Good," Dave said, satisfied for the moment that he'd done all he could do to assure himself that the woman he loved was as comfortable as possible. The moments ticked by slowly, the only sound a faint whir of an overhead vent and the occasional rustle of a slick magazine page. But no one paid attention to those minor disturbances, their full attention in another direction.

"What do you think our chances are that they allow us to take him home soon?" JJ asked, opening her eyes again to stare toward the doctor's door, her ears straining for any clue that might leak through the heavy wood.

"I think that you might want to consider that Reid might need a little more help than we could provide for him anywhere but here, sweetheart," Dave said gently, tightening his hold on the woman in his arms as her body tensed against him.

Seeing a belligerent look rising on his agent's face from across the room, Hotch quickly agreed. "Rossi's right. Inpatient treatment is possibly the safest method for us to consider using with Reid right now. At least that way, he'll remain supervised and monitored at all times."

"Sounds like he's needed that for a while now," Gideon said from his perch in the corner of the room, his words thrown out rashly, roughly, in the otherwise hushed room.

Feeling JJ's body tighten in his arms, Dave lifted a hand to massage the back of her neck. "It's okay, babe. I don't think he meant that the way it sounded."

"It's okay…I think I'm getting used to his verbal jabs," JJ whispered, forcing herself to relax against his comforting touch. "My old Gideon immunity must be returning."

"Jason," Hotch said calmly from his position beside Emily on the loveseat along the far wall of the waiting room, "if any of us had realized that Reid needed this kind of help, we would have made sure he'd gotten it. I'm quite sure you can see for yourself that each member of this team is bending over backward to help in any way we can."

Dropping his head, Gideon squeezed his eyes closed, fighting against the memories of bygone days as he admitted, "Yeah, Hotch, I see it. And I should have been here to see it long before now. That's on me."

"Do you think you would have seen something we missed?" Penelope asked in a small voice from the couch. Sitting beside Morgan, she nervously plucked at the bright material of her sweater as she chewed her lower lip uncertainly.

"I have no idea, Penelope," Gideon sighed, staring down at the institutional tile flooring, his eyes following the vein in the mock marble. He drew his head up then, meeting the younger woman's eyes as he added, deliberately, "And it's a moot point. I missed my opportunity to help him then. I won't be making that mistake again. Where he goes, I go. Whether he wants me to or not."

"He'll want you. Whether he'll admit it, I have no idea. But I know he'll want you," Morgan said with quiet assertiveness, swallowing Garcia's smaller hand in his, taking a small measure of comfort when she immediately laced her fingers, tight, with his.

"There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't mention you at least once," Emily said softly, smiling gently at the older profiler.

"You're his person," Garcia nodded, smiling slightly as she remembered the first time she had met the two of them, their easy, almost father-son relationship something she had envied, had desired.

"His person?" Gideon said with a slight smile, his mind remembering all the inane conversations he'd had with these people over the years, and knowing subconsciously that this one just might take the cake.

"Yeah, like I'm Mudgie's person," Dave snorted, fighting a chuckle as JJ slapped at his leg, her sudden grin a sight for his sore eyes.

"You're comparing my relationship with Reid to your bond with your dog?" Gideon said incredulously, leaning forward as he mock-glared at the man that had covered his back on more than one take-down in the early days of the unit.

"If the bark fits…." JJ said, biting her lip to keep from laughing at the ludicrous turn this conversation had taken, taking in the unexpected grins and relaxed expressions she could see on her friends' faces.

"I don't know how it's even possible, but you people have gotten even more twisted than when I left you," Gideon retorted with an eye roll as the doctor's door swung open.


	38. Chapter 38

_**Author's Note: Loyal readers, it may be a day or so before my next posting. My Xmas cookies won't bake themselves. No matter how hard I try to wish it so.**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 38**

As the heavy wooden door clicked open, seven sets of feet hit the institutionalized tiling of the floor, bringing each person sitting in the waiting room to attention.

As the petite redheaded doctor stepped into the warm room, she met the concerned faces of Doctor Spencer Reid's colleagues. His family, she amended to herself, whether he could see it or not. "Hello again, everyone," she greeting, meeting each pair of eyes, measuring the gazes of the various team members.

"Dr. Lynde! Where's Spencer?" JJ asked, alarmed as she peered around the other woman, realizing with a growing sense of dread that Reid was nowhere to be seen. "Did something happen?" she asked shakily, pushing to her feet, Dave's strong arm slipping around her supportively as she felt herself sway slightly from the sudden movement. Snapping her eyes back to the doctor, she asked again, her voice growing more agitated by the moment, "What happened in there?"

"Give her a chance to talk, babe," Rossi whispered in her ear, tightening his grip on her hip as he drew her closer. "I'm sure she's going to answer your question."

Holding up a hand as everyone took a collective step toward her, Ainsley shook her head, her loose red curls shaking quickly against her collar. "Doctor Reid is fine, Ms. Jareau. He left through my other door and an orderly is escorting him back to his room. Often, my patients need a moment or two alone after an intensive session. You can all go up and see him in a few moments."

"Being alone is what got him in this mess to begin with…now, you're advising it," Gideon snapped, glaring at the small doctor as he leaned against the paneled wall and shoved his hands into his pockets. Shaking his head as he looked her up and down, he wondered how in the world this woman had even graduated high school, let alone college or medical school. What was she? Twelve?

"I didn't say that he needs to remain alone. I said he might need a few minutes to collect himself," Ainsley corrected with a professional tone, her lips tightening as she straightened, pulling her shoulders back as she felt his eyes measuring her. Some days she really hated her small stature. Especially when she was forced to deal with people that apparently doubted her abilities. And from the look plastered on Jason Gideon's face, he most definitely had an unqualified Doubting Thomas air about him. Mentally shrugging, Ainsley knew it wasn't the first time she'd confronted a difficult family member and it wouldn't be the last. The patient was her priority and the sole focus of her energies. Anyone and everything else was secondary.

Glaring at Gideon, his steady gaze containing a definite warning for the older man to hold his comments, Hotch turned toward the diminutive woman in front of them. Smiling reassuring, he asked in his best agent voice, "How is Reid, ma'am?"

Nodding shortly, Ainsley gestured toward the seats in the room, grateful that at least some of her patient's family were willing to act reasonable. "Why don't we all get comfortable and we'll discuss that, Agent Hotchner?"

"Just tell us what we want to know, Kid," Gideon growled, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he narrowed his eyes, training his patented glare on the interloper in front of him.

"This kid, as you ineptly put it, is a double board certified psychologist," Ainsley retorted sharply, drawing her shoulders back as she evenly returned the harsh glare. "And just for the record, grandpa," she said snidely, allowing her temper to trump her better judgment for a moment, "I'm well above the legal age of consent. I can be tried like an adult and everything."

Taking a step back as he heard Morgan and Rossi snicker, Gideon inclined his head. "Do tell," he urged sarcastically, momentarily impressed by the young woman's fortitude. Not many individuals were quite daring enough to take him on, no matter what age they were. Then again, he was on her turf.

Taking a deep breath, Ainsley struggled to control her rising ire at this irritating man. Spencer Reid truly had no idea how much they had in common, she thought idly, remembering her earlier conversation with the younger doctor. The mere thought of Reid, however, seemed to snap her back to the situation at hand. Focus on the patient, focus on the patient, she silently reminded herself. "Please have a seat Mr. Gideon," she said with a calm voice, nodding to the chair in the corner.

"Agent," Gideon corrected in a matter of fact tone as he took a step toward the plastic chair.

"Excuse me?" Ainsley asked, furrowing her brows in consternation as she watched the man

"It's Agent Gideon," he persisted, actually enjoying the battle of wills he'd instigated. It had truly been a while since that had occurred, and until this moment, he hadn't realized how much he had missed it. While he realized that many considered him conceited, he personally felt that he didn't encounter many people capable of matching him. But Spencer Reid was one of those people, and apparently, this woman just might be one, too.

Pursing her lips, Ainsley conceded, choosing to believe that the overall war was more important than any trifling battle. Pasting a grim smile on her face, she replied, "Fine. Please have a seat Agent Gideon. I'd like to conclude this little meeting sometime before nightfall. I do have other patients, you know."

Waiting until the tall man had resumed his seat in the corner, his obviously slow, deliberate actions twisting at yet another nerve inside her, Ainsley eyed the gathered collection of faces before carefully saying, "I'm very pleased with today's session, everyone," she began, perching on the arm of the couch beside Agent Morgan. "I'd say I'm cautiously optimistic about the progress he and I made today."

"What the hell is that double speak for, Doc?" Gideon grunted doubtfully from across the room.


	39. Chapter 39

_**Author's Note: For those of you following my stories, from now until Christmas, my updates will be coming every other day. Sorry, my friends, blame my children and their countless Christmas activities. As usual, Tonnie and I have a ball bringing you these stories, so, please be patient with us. The holiday season is kicking our collective rumps. Thank you, everyone who is taking the time to both read & review. Please continue! It makes it worthwhile to do this, knowing that we've managed to capture your interest. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds (though I wouldn't mind having Joe M. for in my stocking this year!).**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 39**

"I don't have any hidden meanings, Agent Gideon," Ainsley replied evenly, crossing her legs as she felt his eyes scrutinizing her. "Your Doctor Reid has a long road ahead of him, but he seemed invested in our therapy session today. I question what his motivations are, but I believe he wants to get better."

"Why? What do you think his motivations are, Doctor?" Penelope asked uncertainly, her eyes darting around the room as she tried to read her co-worker's reactions to this new addition to their group.

"I think he's interested in proceeding because of his desire to please all of you, rather than making himself healthy again," Ainsley explained, immediately liking the brightly dressed woman that she recognized as Garcia.

"Does that matter right now?" Morgan asked, his tone bordering on belligerent as he wrapped a comforting arm around Garcia's shoulders, pulling her closer. "I mean, as long as he's agreeing to cooperate, shouldn't we be satisfied with that?"

"For now," Ainsley nodded, adequately pegging Morgan's anger for a firm disguise of his concern. "But at some point, he's going to need to be in that room," she said, nodding toward her office door, "for himself. For what I can do for him. Not because all of you want him there."

"No disrespect intended, but what can you do for him, Dr. Lynde?" Rossi asked from his position beside JJ, his eyes sizing up the young doctor as he watched her fold her hands in her lap. Mentally giving her kudos for having handled herself so far with this group, he only hoped that she could provide Reid with the help he needed. For Reid's sake and for JJ's, he thought, wrapping his arm even tighter around JJ's waist as he felt her shift against him.

"No offense taken, Agent Rossi. It's a fair question. I hope I can help him deal with his mother's death, with his own feelings of inadequacy and ultimately it's my hope that I can teach him some coping mechanisms so that nothing like this ever occurs again," Ainsley replied, looking around the room again at each worried face staring back at her. Maybe she should offer them all a group rate, she thought with a sigh. It was clear the trauma of her patient's suicide attempt had taken its toll on each person sitting in her waiting room to varying degrees. Seeing the stressed lines around the pregnant blonde agent's face, Ainsley smiled reassuringly at her, feeling a strong need to assuage her concerns. "He talked in the future tense today, Agent Jareau. He talked about becoming an uncle. That's a positive sign. A huge step forward."

"Don't misunderstand us, Doctor. I think we can all agree that we're thrilled that you see improvements with our friend. But, how do we know it will continue?" Emily asked, her voice clipped and precise as she tightened her hand around the purse she held in her lap, needing to maintain control over some part of this quickly going crazy world.

"You don't, Agent Prentiss. Nor do I," Ainsley replied honestly, holding to her own convictions of never lying to a patient or his family. Shifting a curl behind her ear, she continued, "Right now, Dr. Reid is feeling me out. Testing to see if he can trust me. Your friend has some serious issues that he needs to work through. First, however, he has to acknowledge to himself that those issues exist before he can learn to cope with them. The upside is that unlike many of the patients that I see, he has an entire support system at his disposal. That's why it is very important that we work in tandem and not against each other," she said with a pointed look at Agent Gideon, forcing herself to maintain her composure as the older man merely glared in response.

"But we weren't able to help him before," JJ whispered, her voice almost catching as she remembered those frantic moments of just a few days ago. Shaking her head, blonde hair slipping against her shoulders, she pressed a hand against her stomach, subconsciously trying to protect her unborn daughter from this very conversation. "We didn't even see anything was wrong until…" she faltered, reaching for Dave's hand, "Until we almost lost him."

"None of us is clairvoyant, Jen," Dave whispered against her temple before pressing a warm kiss to her skin, dropping his other hand to cover hers, rubbing gently against her cold fingers.

"No, you aren't," Ainsley nodded, for once in complete agreement with someone in the room. Casting an appreciative look at the older profiler, she then turned her attention back to the room at large, her eyes scanning to each person individually. "And blaming yourselves, while easy to do, is not what is best for your friend. What you all must realize is that Doctor Reid is a grown man. Treating him like a child to be protected and coddled isn't going to help him recover." As soon as the words left her mouth, she saw a movement from the corner of the room, and she knew that at least one member of this team was about to object to her methods.

Standing abruptly, his temper growing by the second as he digested her words, Gideon narrowed his eyes on the young woman perched across the room. Stepping forward, he growled, "Now, Doctor Lynde, I believe you and I might have a small problem."

Sighing, Ainsley held up a stilling hand, eyeing the flushed cheeks of the tall man across the room. "It wasn't a criticism, Agent Gideon. More like a statement of fact. In order for Reid to realize the implications of his actions, we all have to show him compassion. At the same time, he must realize that his reaction to whatever incident shoving him toward a potentially fatal decision wasn't acceptable. You won't do that be wrapping him in cotton."

"Lady, you have no idea-," Jason began angrily, his hand clenching and unclenching by his side as he glared at the redhead.

"Gideon," Hotch said softly, firmly, calling Jason's attention to him, rather than the doctor. "Garcia checked this doctor out. She's at the top of her field. The least we could do is listen to what she has to say and reserve judgment until we see how effective she is."


	40. Chapter 40

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 40**

"Agent Gideon, despite your antagonistic attitude, I'm not intentionally being obtuse. But as I'm sure a man of your…for lack of a better word…experience knows, there aren't any certainties. The time table depends completely upon Doctor Reid," Ainsley replied, drawing upon her inner strength to maintain a calm, serene expression as she stared at the man that her patient once considered a father-figure.

"He hates it here," Gideon declared flatly, his arms crossed over his chest. "He feels like he's being institutionalized. And if you've done your research, you know that's his worst fear brought to life."

"I'm aware," Ainsley sighed with a slight nod of her head, curls bouncing. "He has some deep seated guilt regarding his role in his mother's hospitalization."

"Then you know this is torture for him," JJ whispered, lifting her fingers to twist the gold crucifix Dave had given her for her birthday with nerveless fingers, trying to draw some strength from the icon as she felt the world shifting beneath her feet.

"I understand your reservations, Agent Jareau," Ainsley said softly, standing to cross the room, moving beside the young agent. "And I understand the hesitation to trust me completely. Doctor Reid is important to all of you. But, I'm hesitant to allow him to leave in his current mindset. Too easily, he could lapse back into severely debilitating depression if left alone."

"He wouldn't be alone, you…" Gideon growled, glaring at the redheaded know-it-all in front of him, his temper rising by the second as he locked eyes with her.

"Gideon!" Dave snapped, his voice harsh in the hushed room as he turned sharply toward the former agent. "Give her a chance!"

"Well, hell, Rossi, this little slip of a thing," he said, raising his finger to point at the frowning so-called medical professional, "ought to be able to recognize the fact that none of us are gonna simply drop the kid off at his apartment door and wish him luck!" Piercing the doctor with a scathing look, he asked, "You did say that you realized we were all professionals, right?"

"Some here more than others," Ainsley said coldly, her shoulders ram-rod straight as she stared down the infuriating man.

"Then you ought to realize that should you allow us to take Reid out of here, there won't be a time when he'll be unsupervised," Jason growled, resting his fists against his hips as he faced the doctor head-on.

"You can make those assurances?" Ainsley asked with a raised brow, cocking her head to the side as she waited for his answer.

"I can," Gideon confirmed shortly, agitated beyond belief at the woman before him, her overbearing, know-it-all attitude grating on his last nerve.

"And if he tells you to leave? What then?" Ainsley asked politely, forcing her face into the professional mask that she knew well.

"I tell him no," Gideon shrugged, his eyes never leaving hers.

"And if he takes your reluctance to leave him to his own devices personally? If that refusal invites his abuse…verbal, physical, what have you…" Ainsley prompted, leaving her question deliberately open ended.

"Each person in this room, save Penelope, is trained to deal with that kind of behavior," Gideon growled, leaning back against the concrete wall.

"Dealing with it in a stranger is quite the opposite of dealing with it in someone you love, Agent Gideon. It tends to be personal," Ainsley warned, shoving her hand in her pants as she felt her fist clench.

"Would you like to tell me something I wasn't already aware of?" Gideon asked sarcastically, his frustrated eyes sliding over the determined woman.

Huffing out a breath, Ainsley fought the urge to throw her hands into the air…or a missile at Jason Gideon's overly large head. Looking around the room, she asked, carefully, "Is he always this confident in his abilities?"

"I hate to admit this," Rossi muttered, casting a quick look over his shoulder at Jason, "but, he's as good at his job as you are at yours, ma'am."

"And his job is what exactly?" Ainsley asked as her blue eyes flashed angrily at Gideon.

"Reading people and predicting their behaviors before they ever take an action," Hotch supplied with a slow look at Gideon, gauging the man's reactions.

"And he knows Reid better than anyone in this room," JJ added softly, her soft hand squeezing Dave's as she glanced at Gideon, hoping that he was truly willing to go the extra mile for Spencer.

"He's an asshole," Morgan agreed bluntly, his dark eyes settling on the doctor, "but, he's usually right."

"And, of all of us, he's the one Reid is most likely going to listen to," Penelope offered eagerly, hoping against hope they were swaying the doctor to their way of thinking.

"Except maybe for JJ," Emily interjected, jerking her head toward the pregnant blonde. "She'd be a close second."

"The point is," Gideon said, moving a step forward, "we are more than qualified to look after Reid in a less…," he paused, looking around, "antiseptic environment."

"Well," Ainsley conceded cautiously, measuring her words as she glanced around at the serious faces surrounding her, "It wouldn't be the first time I had better luck outside of the hospital with a patient. And it might inspire some trust in me." Weighing her options, Ainsley finally reached a decision. "Look, it's already Wednesday. We'll keep Dr. Reid here in the hospital over the next two days. If there aren't any incidents, I'll release him from the hospital on Friday." Seeing Gideon open his mouth, she held up a hand. "No words yet, Agent Gideon."

"Oh, for God's sake," Gideon grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he rolled his eyes.

"Jason, shut up!" Hotch hissed, willing the older man to listen to reason for once in his life.

"There are conditions to his dismissal. I want one on one therapy three days a week. I'll do it in his home…or whatever place you decide would be best for his recovery," Ainsley offered, directing her comments toward JJ and Rossi, already determining that they would be the best suited for the position of decision makers. "But the therapy is non-negotiable."

"Of course, Doctor. Whatever you think," JJ nodded readily, a glimmer of hope building in her fatigued voice as she latched on to the doctor's words.

Taking a deep breath, Ainsley nodded. "And over the next few days, I want you all to remind Doctor Reid that he is a valued member of your makeshift family." Directing her gaze to JJ she said, more softly, "Remind him of his upcoming role in your child's life."

"We will. I will," JJ agreed, happy tears forming in her crystalline eyes as she pressed her hand to her growing stomach, knowing that her daughter would have a chance now of getting to know her uncle.

"And bear in mind that this is still going to involve intensive therapy and treatment, people," Ainsley reminded them all somberly. "Going home does not equate to being healthy," Ainsley continued, her words frank.

"We understand, Doctor Lynde. But this is the beginning," JJ whispered, her hand wrapped firmly in Dave's.

"Yes, Agent Jareau. It's the beginning to a very long, very arduous journey. But, you're right, it is a beginning," Ainsley agreed with a smile.


	41. Chapter 41

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 41**

For the first time in days, Jennifer Jareau felt like she could breathe again. Kicking off her shoes as she walked into her small, cozy living room, she collapsed on the couch, looking up and genuinely smiling at the man with her. "He's coming home, Dave," JJ sighed. "He's getting out of that place!"

"Bella, I know you're excited," Dave said carefully, dropping to the cushion beside her and pulling her feet into his lap, "But, I don't want you to get too excited, honey. You heard the doctor. Reid has a hell of a long road ahead of him."

"I know that," JJ muttered. "But I honestly think he'll improve faster out of the hospital. He hates it there." Looking up at him, JJ added, "You know that I'm right, Dave."

"I'm not disputing that point, Jen. I'm just saying that we need to realize that we can't expect a miracle. This isn't magically gonna go away just because they release Reid Friday," Dave warned, wrapping a warm hand around the arch of one foot and massaging it gently.

Dropping her head back against the cushions, JJ closed her eyes, allowing his touch to soothe her. She knew he was right. As much as she wished she could erase the past few days…eradicate them from existence, she couldn't. Reid, and all the rest of them, too, had to deal with what happened. Ignoring it wouldn't solve the underlying problems.

Opening her eyes to gaze at Dave's impassive face, JJ raised a brow as she asked, "What's going on in that overly active mind of yours, David?"

Inhaling deeply, Dave craned his neck, trying to relieve some of the tension that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in his nape recently. "Honestly," he replied truthfully, "I was trying to figure out where exactly Reid would be best served living over the next few months." Seeing her open her mouth, her eyes openly reflecting her thoughts, Dave shook his head. "I know what you're thinking, babe. But no…he can't stay with you."

"What! Why?" JJ asked sharply, jerking her feet out of his lap and dropping them to the floor as she sat up abruptly. "Exactly why not?" she asked angrily.

"Because, Jen," Dave began patiently, "if there's even a snowball's chance in hell that Reid becomes violent over the next few weeks, I'm not taking the chance that the brunt of his anger falls on you."

"Reid would never hurt me, David," JJ denied, automatically defending the man she considered as close as family.

"Under normal circumstances, no, he wouldn't. But these are anything but ideal times, JJ. We can't risk it. Not with the baby," he explained, nodding toward her slowly expanding belly.

"But-," JJ argued, her eyes widening as she realized that Dave was entirely serious. Not only that, but by the set of his jaw, she knew he was going to be impossible to sway.

"No buts, Jennifer," Dave said flatly. "I'm not taking a chance with either your safety or the baby's. I'm sorry, but no."

"Then what do you suggest? He won't be comfortable with Emily or Hotch. Penny isn't equipped to deal with what might be coming. Morgan has a tendency to intimidate him. That leaves me," JJ worried, biting her thumbnail as her eyebrows furrowed.

"You've forgotten someone, cara," Dave reminded her.

"No, I haven't," JJ replied, shaking her head. "Gideon doesn't happen to have a place to live, Dave."

"Perhaps not. But we have two," Dave said, pausing as he watched her face for a reaction.

"Two what, Dave?" JJ asked blankly, turning her head toward him.

"Two homes, JJ," Dave replied gently. "And honestly, babe, I really don't see the point in that anymore, do you?" he prodded, wrapping his arm around her again and pulling her against his chest.

"I'm not sure that I know what you're trying to-," JJ stammered, her fingers nervously toying with the edge of her sweater as she averted her eyes.

"We have two homes, Bella. The cabin and here. We'd talked about this before…maybe it's time for us to take the next step in consolidating our lives," Dave offered quietly, his fingers slipping through the silken strands of her long hair to stroke her scalp.

"You mean live together?" JJ asked, her heartbeat accelerating as she said the words.

"That's exactly what I mean. Honey, you've given me your heart and your body. I think you know by now that I can be trusted to take care of you…both of you," Dave said, his tone hushed in the still room as he gazed down at her. "You do trust me, don't you?" he asked, uncharacteristically nervous though his voice remained steady.

"Of course I do," JJ replied quickly, glancing up at him with shocked eyes. "I just…it's a big step," she whispered.

"But the logical progression," Dave pointed out.

"I guess," JJ said, swallowing quickly. "So you're suggesting that I move to Little Creek?" JJ asked warily.

"We'll live wherever you want, Jen," Dave replied softly.

"I do love the farm…and it's bigger. Better for raising a baby," JJ said thoughtfully. "And I suppose this place," she continued, looking around them, "would be closer to the hospital. More convenient for Dr. Lynde to visit."

"It's up to you, Jen," Dave murmured, not wanting to influence her decision.

Turning her head to look at him fully, JJ asked, "Are you sure this is what you want? That I'm what you want, Dave?"

Ghosting the back of his fingers down her cheek, Dave smiled. "You've been what I wanted since the day I first laid eyes on you, Bella. But this is about what you want. What you need."

"I want you," JJ averred quietly. "I just don't want you to regret this later."

"There's not a moment that we're together that I could ever imagine regretting, Jen. I want you and this baby," he said, cupping a hand against her growing belly, "more than I want my next breath."

Nodding, JJ swallowed as her eyes clouded. "Then Little Creek it is," she agreed, meeting his lips halfway as they descended toward hers.


	42. Chapter 42

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 42**

Watching from her position curled in her bright yellow arm chair, Penlope Garcia saw Derek Morgan's considerable bulk tense as he paced back and forth in front of her couch. "You know, you're gonna have to replace my carpet at the rate you're going," Garcia offered casually as she nodded at her green shag carpeting beneath his feet.

Growling low in his throat, Derek finally dropped to her sofa, landing with a plop. "Damn it, Mama! I just can't wind down."

"I noticed," Pen offered dryly, watching as his fingers crumpled the edge of her Sponge Bob throw. "But wearing a hole in my floor isn't going to help matters," she chided gently.

"Are we positive taking him out of the hospital is the best thing for him?" Morgan asked, lifting his head to gaze questioningly at his best friend, his partner in crime…his port in every storm life threw in his direction.

"I don't think there's an easy answer to that question, Handsome. I'd love to tell you that, yes, I one hundred percent believe this is the best possible course of action. But…but this isn't one of those times I can give you the assurance you need. All I do know is that our little genius hates his current accommodations. I also know that he can't stay alone, especially in his apartment."

"I'd be happy if none of us ever had to walk back into that place again," Morgan grumbled, his memories of Reid's apartment now clouded by the knowledge that his little brother's life had almost met a premature end inside its walls.

"That makes two of us, my hunky hero. But that will eventually be up to Reid. Right now, though, I agree. But as you pointed out in the car, I'm not trained to deal with Reid's need on a daily basis. And you," she said gently, meeting his chocolaty eyes, "have a tendency to overwhelm our modern day Boy Wonder."

"Our best bet is JJ," Morgan replied, rubbing a large hand against his jaw.

"Never happen," Pen denied, shaking her head, her curly blonde locks brushing her shoulders. "Agent Rossi will fight tooth and nail to keep JJ and the baby safe. Allowing her to cohabitate with someone as unpredictable as our Dr. Reid will never happen."

"Even if he stays there, too?" Morgan asked hopefully.

"There's no way that he can be present a hundred percent of the time, Babycheeks," Penelope pointed out softly. "And none of us, Reid especially, would ever forgive ourselves if something happened to that unborn angel."

"You're right," Derek replied softly, nodding his agreement. "Damn! Why does it all have to be so complicated!" he groaned, banging his head back against the soft cushions of the couch.

Pushing out of her seat and moving to sit beside him, Pen covered his hard thigh with one hand. "Listen, Angelfish, it really isn't. We both know who Reid needs to stay with."

"Don't say it, Mama. Don't even suggest it," Morgan grumbled, clenching his fists against his jeans.

"Why not? We're both thinking it. Reid needs Gideon," Penelope said bluntly, softening her words by smoothing a hand over his forearm.

"Look, Sweetness, I know I agreed…," Morgan began.

Hearing her best friend begin to bluster, Penelope shook her head. "You promised me, Derek Morgan…you promised me that you'd give Jason Gideon a chance at redemption!"

"I promised that I'd ease up, Baby Girl. Turning a fragile Reid over to a guy that's already walked out on him once in his life is another matter altogether, don't you think?" Morgan asked incredulously, his wide eyes meeting the clear blue orbs of the person he trusted most in the world.

"What I believe is that Jason Gideon is the only father Spencer Reid has ever known. He made a mistake a few years ago. Granted, it was a big one. But LOOK at him, Derek. REALLY look at him. He's paying for it now. Watching a man that you think of as a brother has to pale in comparison to thinking of him as a son. Gideon's in hell. And it shows on his face," Pen argued vehemently.

"Maybe so, Angel. But how do we know that he won't go running scared again…at the worst possible time?" Morgan asked sharply, tightening his fingers around the hand she offered him.

"We don't, Derek," Pen said softly, squeezing his warm hand. "We just have to have faith."

"Babe, I might be fresh out of that particular commodity," Morgan snorted.

"Well borrow some of mine and climb on board Operation Save Our Friend," Pen retorted, pursing her lips as she offered the dark man a sidelong look.

"One thing about you, Penelope," Morgan murmured. "You always have faith and goodwill in reserve."

"I have to when I hang around you people," Penelope grunted. "So, are we in accord?"

Gazing down at her earnest face, he shook his head. "I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Nope," Pen said brightly.

"Gonna make it worth my while if I agree?" Morgan asked wickedly, dropping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her closer to his warmth.

"Now, THAT, my angel, I might be able to arrange," Pen laughed, snuggling into Derek Morgan's broad chest.


	43. Chapter 43

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 43**

Staring across the scarred surface of the vinyl top table at Aaron Hotchner's solemn face as he rearranged the sugar, salt and pepper shakers for the third time, Emily sighed softly. "Aaron, if you stare at that sugar bowl any harder, it may spontaneously combust," Emily warned with a small smile.

Hearing her soft modulated voice, Hotch lifted surprised eyes to his fellow agent and friend. Smiling ruefully, he dropped the lid to the sugar dish back on the bowl. "Sorry," he muttered. "I guess I was wool gathering."

"By the way things looked, you should have sheared a whole herd of lambs by now," Emily accused good naturedly. "Talk, Hotch," she urged. He might not want to admit it, but she KNEW the man across the booth from her. Broody by nature, she fully comprehended that he was a private person. But sometimes even the most intrinsically personal individual needed an outlet…a sounding board. And she was more than willing. He understood by now that she'd keep his secrets for him, no matter how large or small. Waiting a moment as the stony silence continued, Emily gently prodded, "Come on, Hotch. Talk to me."

Crushing a napkin between his restless fingers, Hotch frowned down at the dark cup of coffee sitting in front of him. "I should have seen it."

"It's not your fault, Aaron. None of us saw this coming," Emily offered, dropping her voice as the din of the diner bustled behind her.

"But I SHOULD have. It's my responsibility to intercept the trouble before it happens," Hotch replied, his voice tight as she watched his agitation with himself and their circumstances grow.

She knew she wouldn't convince him otherwise, so, she changed tactics. "We do see it now though," she said, intentionally using the plural form. Never did she want this unique man to feel the burden alone. It wasn't fair. And even the strongest men eventually would buckle under pressure that never eased if they didn't have someone to lighten the burden. "And we're taking every precaution to make sure that it never comes to this again," she reminded him firmly.

"Are we, Emily? Allowing him to leave the security of the hospital is a huge risk. I know JJ is thrilled and that Gideon is as close to satisfied as he ever gets right now, but this is still a really big chance we're taking," Hotch worried aloud.

"I agree, it's a calculated risk. But what are our other options? We both know that Reid is never going to fully open up within his current environment. He has to be comfortable…to feel safe. And that's never going to occur inside a sterilized institutionalized setting," Emily countered, tucking her dark hair behind her ears as she spoke.

Closing his eyes, Hotch lifted his hand to massage his aching temples. Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he hadn't felt the dull throb in his head. The pain had become his constant companion over the last few days.

"When was the last time you slept, Aaron? Really slept?" Emily asked quietly.

"I think Clinton was president," Hotch deadpanned dryly, opening his eyes to meet her concerned gaze. "I'm fine, Em."

"Funny guy," Emily snorted indelicately. "And you're not fine. You're dead on your feet."

"It's been a long few days, Emily. Don't try to lie to me and say that you've been sleeping like a baby either. Those dark circles underneath your eyes tell a different story," Hotch said, shooting her a measuring look.

Raising her fingertips involuntarily to rest against the flesh below her eyes, she frowned. "That obvious?"

"We've known each other a long time, Emily," Hotch replied slowly. "We've gotten pretty good at recognizing each other's cues."

"I guess you're right," Emily muttered. "But you are SUCH a gentlemen to point it out to me," she added with a touch of sarcasm.

"Women!" Hotch snorted with a wink. "They demand honesty and balk when you give it to 'em," he hammed.

"Men!" Emily retorted. "They don't know when to admit that the woman is usually right," she countered in kind. Meeting his black eyes, she continued, quieter, "And this woman says you need to sleep."

"It's my shift at the hospital tonight," Hotch responded, shaking his head.

"It WAS your shift. I called Derek while you went and washed your hands earlier. Your shift now officially starts at eight in the morning," Emily corrected, straightening in her seat as she delivered the change of plans to the taciturn man in front of her.

"Damn it, Emily," Hotch grumbled. "I would have been just fine."

"Maybe. Maybe not. But none of us can afford for our Unit Chief to be down right now. Go home. Pick up your kid from Jessica. Kiss him, read him a story. AND GO TO SLEEP!" Emily ordered.

"You do realize that I GIVE the commands around here, right?" Hotch asked conversationally, tilting his head at her.

"That's why later, I'll tell you this entire conversation was a product of your overtired mind," Emily grinned unrepentantly.

Meeting her sparkling eyes, Hotch managed a genuine smile. "You're a good friend, Prentiss," he grudgingly admitted.

"Oh, that hurt, didn't it?" Emily joked, glad to see the weight seem to lift from his shoulders for a moment.

"You have no idea," Hotch sighed, raising a finger for their check.


	44. Chapter 44

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 44**

Walking down the long hospital corridor, Gideon's footsteps carried him closer to his pseudo son's room, but his thoughts remained on the red-headed vixen currently treating Reid. The woman had what his father would have referred to as moxy. And while he didn't agree with everything she'd said, he had to admire her ability to face down a roomful of agents and stand her ground. Not many could have done that with the poise and dignity she'd maintained. At least most of the time. His goading had pushed a few of her buttons…that much had been evident. Odder still, he'd enjoyed trading verbal spars with the young woman. And she'd held her own…he couldn't allow himself to forget that pertinent fact. Maybe she was just the type of doctor Reid needed. Hell, if she wouldn't let him get away with knocking her capabilities, he knew she was more than up to the task of handling Spence. The boy hadn't had nearly enough time on earth to become as caustic as he had. And he prayed to God, he never would. Become caustic, that is. He fully intended for his boy to live a long, rich life.

Sighing as he drew closer to the closed doorway, his thoughts redirected themselves to the man waiting inside. Spencer. In the past few days, the younger man had at least began to acknowledge and accept his constant presence. Gideon wasn't foolish enough to believe that Spence was convinced he was here to stay, but at least he had stopped rejecting the idea immediately every time it was brought up. He chose to count that as a positive sign. And he needed all of those pros that he could get…especially after what he'd put the younger man through.

Mentally kicking himself again, he shook his head. How could he have been that stupid? That selfish? Walking away without a backward glance in hindsight was the single stupidest thing he'd ever done. Infinitely damaging, he'd almost lost one of the few people he could actually say he loved in the most permanent of ways. All because his self-absorbed ego wouldn't let him even think about how other people, the people closest to him, were feeling, were dealing.

Silently, he reminded himself that he hadn't lost him though. Spencer was alive…perhaps not whole yet…but alive. And for now, that was enough. Reaching for the cold doorknob, Gideon didn't bother knocking as he opened the door, the slight squeak of the older hinges announcing his arrival.

As the door opened unexpectedly, Reid looked up sharply from the Vonnegut book he held in his hand, his shoulders stiffening as he felt his heart start to race, his fight or flight response kicking into high gear. Seeing Gideon, he relaxed marginally, telling himself that he was not in any immediate danger, mentally or physically. At least he knew the older man wouldn't push him to talk.

"Whatcha readin', Spence?" Gideon asked, dropping into his usual spot in the room's only recliner, studying the younger man's blank face serendipitously as he crossed his legs in typical Gideon fashion.

"Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5," Reid replied, his tone distracted as he carefully pressed a cardboard bookmark into the crease of the book.

"Your favorite," Gideon said, smiling faintly, remembering many trips where the young genius would devour the book, even though everyone knew he could quote entire sections from memory.

"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive," Reid quoted quietly, his eyes trained on the closed book in his hands, his thumb rubbing absently against the worn leather cover. "I never realized how true that line was until these last few days," he mused softly, raising his gaze to meet the older man's eyes.

"I've thought that very thing more than once in my life," Gideon admitted quietly, lifting his paper cup of bitter coffee to his lips, letting the hot liquid flow down his throat as he gathered his thoughts. "In my experience," he continued, dropping the cup to the table beside him with a frown, "I'd still rather feel. It may hurt…but it's better than being sucked into that black vortex where nothing truly penetrates." Lifting his clear gaze to Reid's penetrating stare, he clarified, "It's not really being alive."

"Personally, I find no fault with the black void…but as you can see, I don't handle pain very well," Reid replied, a tinge of bitterness to his words, his shoulders stiffening ever so slightly under his thick sweater. Flipping the book back open, he sought the safety of the words, the feel of the aged paper under his touch.

"You'll learn," Gideon said quietly, a slight nod of his head. "It won't happen overnight, but it can be done."

"Do you really believe that, Gideon? You spent a long time trying to avoid the pain that relationships inevitably bring," Reid pointed out, his fingers fidgeting with the pages of his book, folding the corner down and straightening it again repeatedly.

"And what did that win me, Reid?" Gideon asked calmly, his eyes tracking the younger man's every move. "I lost my family…the people that mean the most to me in the world are afraid to trust me. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life when I disappeared. I can see now that I should have stood up and faced that pain, no matter how hard it would have been. But, you're not going to repeat my mistakes. I'm not gonna let you do that."

Frowning slightly, Reid forced himself to look at Jason's resolved face, feeling the weight start to settle once again against his chest. "This is going to be hard, isn't it?"

"The right choice usually is," Gideon replied with a nod, wanting to spare his son from these feelings, but knowing from personal experience that he would only be hurting him in the end.

"It may take a while," Reid said warningly, silently begging the other man for reassurance.

"I've got all the time it takes, Spencer. I'm not going anywhere," Gideon assured the younger man, his gaze concentrated on the younger man's rigid posture on the bed.

"You're sure? I mean, this time, you're really sure?" Reid asked, his voice small in the quiet room.

Gideon despised the insecurity etched on Reid's face. But he understood it. Hell, he'd been partially responsible for putting it there. "I'm positive, Reid," he said softly. "Now, why don't you read me some more of that book?"


	45. Chapter 45

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 45**

Walking into Spencer Reid's small hospital room on Thursday morning, JJ smiled brightly at the young man. "Hey, you! How are you feeling today?"

"It's a day, JJ," Reid mumbled. "The same as any other day when you're locked upon a psych ward of a hospital. I know why mom was always so miserable now."

"Your mother wasn't always miserable, Spence," JJ replied softly, reaching out a soft hand to cover the other man's clenched fist. "She was sick, but she still had good days."

"Maybe," Spence shrugged, his voice grudging. "I still hate it here, JJ. I want to go home."

"Well, then maybe what I have to tell you will cheer you up some," JJ replied evenly, gesturing for the young agent to scoot over on the narrow bed. Sliding into the warm spot he'd vacated, JJ smiled at him again, flashing a quick look toward Jason. Seeing his slight nod, she continued, "I've got some news for you."

Lifting his eyes to JJ's serene face, Spence allowed himself a moment of comfort. For whatever reason, JJ always brought a sort of odd peace to his turbulent thoughts. Maybe it was the soothing way she spoke to him. Or the way her eyes softened like his mother's once had when she spoke to him. Whatever it was, her presence brought fleeting solace into his world. And he gave himself permission to enjoy it when it happened. "What?" he asked cautiously, hesitant to believe anything good could happen to him after what he'd done.

"You know we talked to your therapist yesterday after your session, right?" she asked, waiting for his affirmation before she continued. Seeing his slight nod, JJ squeezed his cool hand reassuringly. "She was really pleased with the way you opened up, Spence."

"Lying would have served no purpose. She's intelligent enough to spot any evasion I might have made," Spence shrugged.

"Not to mention the fact that it would have extended your stay here," JJ added. "But as it was, your honesty inspired her to have some faith in YOU. As of tomorrow, you are officially going to become one of her outpatients."

"I'm getting out of here?" Spence asked, looking from JJ's earnest face to Gideon's tranquil countenance.

"That exactly what I'm saying," JJ nodded.

"On certain conditions, Reid," Rossi stated firmly from his position by the door.

"Conditions?" Reid repeated uncertainly. "What kind of conditions?"

"Nothing that you can't live with," Gideon drawled, leaning forward in his seat and propping his elbows against his knees.

"I think that I should be the judge of that," Reid responded defensively, jerking his gaze back to JJ. "What are they talking about, Jayje?"

Hearing the agitation in his voice, JJ replied calmly, "It's okay, Spence. Nothing too earth shattering. It's just that, given the circumstance, for now, your doctor has indicated that you should remain supervised."

"Like a child," Reid spat bitterly.

"No," Gideon shook his head, "Like someone that's been ill. It's for your safety, Reid. And my sanity. Even if the doctor hadn't made it a condition, there'd be no way any of us would allow you to stay alone."

"My apartment is barely large enough to accommodate me," Reid argued. He liked his privacy. Needed it. Having someone constantly watching his every move, no matter how well intentioned, would be torture.

"We've already solved that particular issue," JJ said with a shake of her head. "You'll stay at my place." Looking over her shoulder at Dave, JJ continued, "Dave and I have decided that it's time for me to move out to Little Creek. That way, we'll have plenty of time to decorate the nursery before your little niece makes her grand debut." Pulling his hand out to rest on the small bump, she narrowed her gaze as she said, "And don't think you're getting out of helping with that project. I happen to know that you're very handy with a paint brush."

"JJ," Reid said, shaking his head, "I can't take your house."

"Why not? The place is paid for. Think of it as house sitting until Dave and I figure out what to do with it. It's already furnished and there's plenty of room for you and Gideon," JJ explained.

"It isn't up for debate, Reid," Rossi said solidly from his position, leaning against the door's frame. "It's this or you stay here. Trust me, it's a good deal, son."

Turning his head toward Gideon, Reid asked softly, "It'll be you? You that stays with me? All the time?" Of all the people of his small quasi family, Gideon knew him best. If he had any hope of surviving these next few months at all, it would be with him.

"I thought I'd made it plain, Spencer. I'm back to stay. Wherever you go, I go. Now that can be JJ's condo or here in this hospital room. Either way, I'm there," Gideon replied seriously. "And I'm pretty sure we'd both be more comfortable at her house."

"I suppose we would," Spence said faintly. Meeting JJ's gaze again, he said softly, "I hate to put you to this much trouble. I'd really be fine at my place."

Flashing back to that night that she'd found him lying in his floor, JJ shook her head. "Spencer, if it's up to me, you'll never set foot back in that place again."

Ever logical, Spence shook his head. "It's rent controlled, JJ. Do you know how RARE that is in D.C.?"

"I don't care if the floors are paved in gold," JJ retorted. "I don't ever want to see the inside of that apartment again."

Offering a slight smile, he asked, "Could you at least get my book collection out before you demand Rossi light the place on fire?"

Dropping his hands into his deep pockets, Rossi offered, "Being done as we speak. All your stuff, save that ratty furniture of yours, will be delivered to JJ's condo today."

"Really?" Reid asked, eyes wide at how fast the elder man made things moved.

"Hey," Rossi shrugged, "This works to my benefit, too. I get JJ and my daughter under my roof, kid. You'd be amazed what kind of feats I can pull off with that kind of incentive."


	46. Chapter 46

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 46**

Pacing the length of Spencer's small hospital room for the tenth time, Gideon snapped his eyes to the other man in the room, causing Dave to pause from his apparently enthralling magazine.

"Will you please sit down before you wake the kid up?" Dave asked with a not so patient sigh. "Wearing a hole in the floor isn't gonna make the time pass any faster."

"They said he'd be discharged by noon, Dave," Gideon growled under his breath, flashing a quick look toward Spence as the young man shifted on the bed. Glancing at his watch again, Gideon snorted, "It's after two."

"Hospital bureaucracy at its best," Dave shrugged, not bothering to look up from the article he was reading, his legs crossed casually as he turned a page.

"That's what you've got to say?" Gideon muttered, glancing toward the closed door once again. "Easy for you to say, asshole, since your kid is still all conveniently tucked up safe and sound inside her mother."

"Which is exactly where I intend for her to stay, thank you very much. And that mother is currently standing on her head back at the condo, calling my cell every twenty minutes like clockwork, worried I'm never gonna bring Reid back to her. It's not a picnic in the park over here for me either," Dave retorted without looking up.

"Your problem, not mine," Gideon shrugged carelessly, his eyes snapping around the room, wondering if it was possible to sneak their patient out the window.

"Thanks for your support," Dave replied sarcastically, flipping a glossy page as he shot a glare toward Gideon, wondering for not the first time if his precious JJ realized the complete ramifications of bringing back this man.

"Sorry, but I can only handle one of our family's problems at a time. You're the one that was always handy at multi-tasking. I'm more focused. And right now, I need to focus on getting him," he said, nodding at a dozing Spencer Reid, "the hell out of here. I'm gonna go find out what the hell is going on around here," he added, stomping toward the door, his intentions clear as he slammed his hand against the metal door knob.

Dropping his magazine back to his lap, Rossi shook his head at his friend as he strode toward the door. "So you're gonna go pick a fight with our only ally in this joint?" Dave asked incredulously.

"No," Gideon replied with exaggerated patience, stalling at the door way to throw a glare in the direction of his former partner, "I'm going to go get her and drag her, by the hair if necessary, down here and get her to physically get this ball rolling. We waited long enough."

"Good luck with that," Dave chuckled lightly, raising his magazine once more.

~**~

Fifteen minutes later, Jason Gideon stood in front of Dr. Ainsley Lynde's guardian of the gate, glaring down at the obnoxious moron. "What do you mean she's not available?" he growled darkly. Looking purposefully at the sign on her door, he continued with a strident voice. "It says right there," he added, jabbing a finger toward her door, "that the doctor is IN!"

"She's having lunch, sir. If you'd just take a seat, I'll message her that you'd like to speak with her. Or perhaps you'd like to go the more traditional route and make an ACTUAL appointment," the grey headed lady said smartly, returning his glare.

"What I want is for her to do what she promised Dr. Spencer Reid she would do and have him released from the hospital before he's as old as YOU obviously are!"Gideon growled, planting his hands on the desk and leaning over to stare down at the elderly woman, crowding her personal space.

"Sonny, if you're trying to intimidate me, you should know that I was at Aushcwitz," said the other woman condescendingly, eyes flicking up and down in dismissal. "You've got nothing on Hitler's minions. TAKE. A. SEAT!!" she ordered, shoulders ramrod straight as her voice took on a tone that would have made a drill sergeant stand at attention.

"Listen, Grandma-," Gideon growled angrily, throwing back his shoulders as he took a step closer.

"Oh, how I wish I was your grandmother, young man! Then I could do this!" the elderly woman muttered, picking up her metal cane to raise it over the desk, poking Gideon in much the same way that a lion tamer would provoke a cub, the rubber tip making perfect contact with his chest.

"Hey!" Gideon yelped in shock and surprise, self-preservation kicking in as he jumped sharply away from the unexpected weapon.

"Sit! Sit! Sit!" the woman yelled, jabbing her cane with each word, stepping forward slightly as she glared even harder.

"Mabel!" Ainsley called from the doorway, hands on her hips. "We've discussed this in your anger management sessions," Ainsley chastised as she opened the door to her office, having heard the obvious commotion outside her door.

"He provoked it," Mabel declared, throwing Gideon a heated look as she reluctantly placed her cane back in its normal position next to her chair.

"Did not!" Gid retorted, chin jutted forward.

"Did so!" Mabel hollered, watching as her doctor stepped toward them both.

Stepping between her receptionist and Jason Gideon, Ainsley held up a hand. "Does someone want to explain to me what's going on here?" she asked, flashing an inquiring look at Jason.

"Ask your crypt keeper!" Jason snorted, rolling his eyes in disgust.

"See! Tell me that isn't provocation," Mabel huffed, looking indignantly at her employer.

"I do see what you mean, Mabel," Ainsley conceded, sparing Gideon a reproving glance.

"She started it," Jason shrugged. "I simply stated my need for a consultation with Dr. Reid's physician since you were very obviously inside your office," he said with a nod to the sign on her door.

Rolling her eyes, Ainsley begged God for just a measure of patience. Forcing a smile to her lips, Ainsley gestured towards her office. "Well, let's not keep you waiting any longer. Right this way, Agent Gideon."


	47. Chapter 47

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 47**

So, Agent Gideon," Ainsley sighed in exasperation, holding her office door open as she ushered him inside, "To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" she asked with a tight smile.

"You realize that I'm trained to recognize sarcasm, right?" Gideon snorted as he walked past her, his steps heavy against the aged hardwoods.

"Lucky me," Ainsley muttered, rolling her eyes as she pushed the door closed, the snap of the catch letting her know that they were safe from any prying ears. "Please, have a seat and make yourself at home," she said tightly as she watched him throw his jacket over her chair and pop one of the buttered rum hard candies she kept on her desk for patients into his mouth, obviously more at ease than she was.

"Don't mind if I do," he smirked, dropping into the chair in front of her desk and casually crossing one leg over the other as he stared back at her flashing green eyes, his gaze shifting over her to take in every aspect. "Tell me, is it your habit to hire raving lunatics to receive patients and colleagues here in your practice?"

Don't let him goad you, Ains, she told herself firmly, forcing herself to keep her shoulders loose. Smiling again, Ainsley said pleasantly, "As a trained medical professional, I don't usually like to use terms like "raving lunatic", Agent Gideon. As you share some of my background, I'm sure you can understand my hesitance to label individuals as such."

"Fine," Gideon snorted, waving a hand in the air. "Is everyone that works for you as mentally unbalanced as the Crypt Keeper of the front desk?"

"Her name is Mabel and she's usually very polite and compassionate unless pressed. And you, sir, are very good at pressing people's buttons, aren't you?" Ainsley replied, raising an inquisitive brow as she took her seat behind her desk, clasping her hands in front of her on her blotter, training her eyes on the man who had so easily taken over her office.

"I've been told it's a knack I have," Gideon shrugged, dropping even further back in the chair, his legs stretching. "I don't like to waste my time on useless conversation and sitting in a chair when what or who I need is doing something as inane as eating lunch. Especially when I have important matters that need my attention," he said pointedly with a look at the half-eaten sandwich on her desk.

Tilting her head, Ainsley narrowed her eyes, refusing to rise to the challenge. "Are you trying to bait me, Agent Gideon?" she asked bluntly, realizing that subtlety would never be a method that worked with this man.

"Is that how it appears, Doctor?" Gideon asked neutrally, a slight smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"I think we both know the answer to that," she replied. Straightening in her seat, Ainsley decided to employ a direct approach. Hopefully that would get this man out of her office quickly and she might have a chance to actually finish a meal for a change before her next patient arrived. "Why are you here, Agent Gideon?"

"I don't know, Dr. Lynde," Gideon said facetiously. "I was hoping you could explain that VERY thing to me. I certainly don't WANT to be here."

"Perhaps you could clarify that statement for me," Ainsley bit out, trying desperately to keep her detached professional mask in place before temptation overwhelmed her and she actually threw something at the man across from her. All of her extensive training had taught her that the medical community at large frowned on such actions, but for Jason Gideon, she might be willing to make an exception.

"I can do that," Gideon smiled. "I'd like to know why the hell you haven't followed through on what you told us after Dr. Reid's last session and had him released from the hospital!"

"Pardon?" Ainsley asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion as she dug through the stack of files on her desk. Reaching Spencer Reid's file, she flipped it open, scanning its contents. "I turned in his release paperwork yesterday afternoon."

"And yet, we're still here!" Gideon said theatrically, throwing both hands into the air.

"As a government employee, I'd think you'd have a better comprehension of bureaucracy in all its fair forms, Agent Gideon," Ainsley muttered, lifting her eyes to meet his dark gaze across the desk.

"Look, Doc, I understand it just fine. I also happen to know there's always a way around it. That's where you come in. Cut some red tape and get your patient out of here," Gideon ordered, frowning as he watched her lean back in her seat and stare at him as if contemplating his untimely demise.

"My God, you really are arrogant, aren't you? Dr. Reid is not my only patient. I have obligations above and beyond him. I've filled out and submitted the necessary documents for his release. How fast other departments process that information isn't my responsibility. I'd be happy to call our hospital administrator if you'd like to file an official complaint, but-"

Closing his eyes, Gideon inhaled deeply as he tried to control his rising temper. Don't bite the hand that could help you, Jason, he reminded himself. Holding up a hand in supplication, Gideon opened his eyes to look at the woman across from him. Cheeks flushed and hands clasped tightly together, she appeared on the verge of a full blown rage…and he supposed he had it coming. "I'm sorry, Dr. Lynde. I really am."

Talk about taking the wind out of somebody's sails, Ainsley thought grudgingly as she sat tensely in her seat staring at the man in front of her. An apology rolling off this particular man's lips would have been the last thing she ever expected.

Shifting uncomfortably under her scrutiny, Gideon continued, "I know I come off as a rude, overbearing son of a bitch. With most people that works. Evidently not with you."

"In other words, usually you can bully whatever you want out of whoever you want whenever you want," Ainsley summarized succinctly.

"Something like that," Gideon admitted ruefully. "But all I really want is what's best for Reid," he added quietly. "And I truly believe that begins with taking him from a place where he obviously feels so uncomfortable to a home where he'll be cared for and loved. And I can't do that until someone takes a small measure of mercy on us. I'm hoping that you'll do that for us."

"Now, if you'd simply said that to begin with, we could have saved ourselves a fair amount of time, Agent Gideon," Ainsley replied evenly, reaching for the phone.

Minutes later, Gideon watched as the persuasive woman in front of him dropped the phone back into the cradle on her desk. "Well?" he prodded, hopefully as his hands tightened on the arm of his chair.

"Half an hour and you'll all be on your way, Agent Gideon," Ainsley said softly as she studied the man currently sitting before her. Watching some of the tension fade from his face, she couldn't help the slow smile that escaped her lips. He really was quite attractive for an older man, she thought suddenly. Tall and well-built, the lines on his face added character. And his eyes…those dark orbs held hidden secrets. Secrets she found herself wanting to know. Peculiar. She'd never felt anything akin to this with a patient's family before.

Pushing out of the padded chair he sat in, Gideon extended an arm across the desk. "I really do appreciate your help."

Nodding, Ainsley slowly raised her hand to grasp his, shocked by the warmth and strength his touch brought. "I'm glad I could help, Agent Gideon. Tell Dr. Reid that I'll see him Monday. And good luck to you both."

"Thank you, Doc. We'll be there," Gideon nodded, regretfully releasing her soft hand. Heading for the door he heard her voice calling him back. "What was that?" he asked, turning to face her before he opened the door.

"I was just saying that Mabel's a black belt. The arthritis in her hip slows her a bit…but I'd think twice before provoking her again or her cane will be the least of your concerns," Ainsley grinned, giving into the urge to needle him just a bit.

Barely suppressing an answering smile, Gideon nodded. "Noted."


	48. Chapter 48

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter 48**

Slamming the door of her green Impala as she climbed out of the driver's seat, Ainsley Lynde stared up the cobblestone path toward the cottage-like townhouse housing her current patient, Spencer Reid. Shaking her head at her surroundings, she quickly was assured of one thing. There was no way Jason Gideon had chosen this house…and she didn't need to be a profiler to know it. While pretty, it was totally un-Gideonlike. The flowerboxes hanging off the bordered windows gave evidence to that theory. Her notes had indicated that Spencer Reid would be staying with Jason Gideon after his release from the hospital and for a moment she wondered if plans had unexpectedly changed.

It took only a moment to shake that thought away. Memories of Agent Gideon's earnest face and concerned eyes from three days earlier convinced her that those arrangements would not have been altered. Adjusting her serviceable black bag over one arm, she straightened her yellow skirt self-consciously, tugging the forgiving material just enough to shift it into place. What was it about that man that made her want to peer in a mirror and make sure there was no lipstick on her teeth?

Well, whoever's home they'd commandeered, she had no doubt that her patient was waiting inside for her. And if she knew anything at all about Spencer Reid, he'd notice if she wasn't prompt, and possibly fixate on that one shortcoming at the expense of the remainder of their session. Slowly walking up the cobbled path, she fought a laugh as she watched a huffing Jennifer Jareau open the front door and step out on the porch, followed by a grumbling David Rossi.

"Explain it to me again, Jen," Dave demanded, adjusting his grip on the boxes in his arms as he found his footing on the slatted porch, barely missing knocking off the hanging fern.

"What?" JJ asked, her tone exasperated as she glared over her shoulder at the man struggling with the two large boxes he carried, the potted plant swaying dangerously close to his head.

Climbing the steps quickly, Ainsley grabbed the top box easily. "Let me help you with that!" she said by way of greeting, catching the load just as it started to topple again.

Turning quickly, JJ's eyes widened. "Dr. Lynde!"

"Hi," Ainsley smiled brightly, meeting the blue eyes of the other woman. "You moving?" she asked, nodding toward the box in her hands.

"Actually yes," JJ nodded, smiling as she moved slightly closer to Rossi. "Dave already had a place in the country and since it has more room, we decided that would be better for our growing family," JJ explained with a pointed book at her belly, pressing a hand against the bulge. "And since Reid and Gideon needed a place to stay, this seemed like the ideal situation. My place was closer to work and the hospital and had plenty of room for both of them." Looking from the box in Rossi's hands to the box in Ainsley's hands, JJ grinned. "And this is the last of it. At least until we need to move out the furniture."

"Could we move this discussion toward the truck, honey?" Dave asked impatiently, trying to keep his grip on his box, the crisp edges biting into his calloused palms. "This isn't getting any lighter just standing here."

Following Rossi down the steps, Ainsley smiled as JJ confided in a loud whisper, "Please excuse Dave and his lack of manners today. He's a little put out with me right now."

"A little?" Dave snorted in front of her, reaching for the latch to the back of the SUV. Gratefully sliding his box inside, he turned, meeting the eyes of the young psychiatrist, "Tell me, Dr. Lynde, since you're a professional woman, what possible psychological reason could there be to have sixteen pairs of the same black shoe? Or seven copies of the same little black dress?"

Handing her much lighter box off to David Rossi, Ainsley tried to suppress her laugh and failed miserably, her chuckles shaking her shoulders as she watched the couple spar.

"They are NOT the same shoes or dresses. Each is different, Dave!" JJ argued, propping her hands on her widening hips.

"Each is black and a shoe…each is black and a dress," Dave retorted, slamming the back hatch before turning to cross his arms over his chest.

"And the only thing those shoes and dresses have in common is the color. The dresses and shoes are each a different style…a different cut…a different size heel," JJ frowned as she justified her attire, shaking her head at his obvious lack of understanding. "You have no idea how much effort it takes to look good," she accused, disgusted.

Looking at Ainsely incredulously, he asked, "Are you hearing this? Maybe we could get a two agents for one therapy deal with you? Because, obviously, the woman I love has psychological problems," he added with a teasing look at JJ, reaching out to tuck a stray blonde strand behind her ear.

"Actually, I'm more concerned with you, Agent Rossi. Do you have difficulty with change? Agent Jareau, merely is demonstrating a desire to be prepared for any eventuality by having ready attire," Ainsley asked, flashing JJ a wide grin. She added then, pressing a hand against her heart, "I myself have twenty pair of various black shoes."

Rolling his eyes, Dave threw his hands in the air. "Women!" he muttered, stalking away.

"Now that's not a productive argument at this juncture," Ainsley drawled, winking at JJ.

"Oh," JJ laughed appreciatively, watching as Dave stomped toward the driver's side, shaking his head and mumbling, "you are gonna fit right in with us. Go on inside," JJ said, nodding toward the door of the home she had just vacated. "They're waiting for you."

"They?" Ainsley faltered, a faint gust of wind catching her curls, obscuring her vision for a moment as she glanced toward the house again.

"Yeah," JJ grinned, wriggling her brows as she watched the young woman slide a hand into her hair, almost nervously. "Aren't you lucky? Gideon's decided to sit in on your first session."

"I don't think so," Ainsley replied, frowning toward the front door as she straightened her shoulders, patting the recalcitrant strands back into place.

Laughing lightly, JJ patted her arm. "You have fun with that. Dave and I already tried to explain that you weren't gonna go for that."

"Thanks for the heads up," Ainsley nodded, smiling at the older woman as she turned her eyes back to her. "I have a feeling I'm in for a long session."


	49. Chapter 49

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Forty Nine**

Drawing a deep breath as she stepped up on the small porch, Ainsley reminded herself that no matter what happened in the next few minutes, she was an educated, trained therapist who possessed the skills necessary to deal with any personality trait or psychosis. And that included any trick that Jason Gideon might have up his sleeve. Any therapist worth her salt could recognize bullying techniques when she saw them, and the only way to deal with a bully was to confront him head on, just like she had been doing.

But, she reminded herself quickly as she pressed the small bell, the peal sounding behind the door, Spencer Reid was her primary concern. And since her patient was definitely attached to her current problem, then she was going to have to tread lightly or risk a regression, which was not a good thing in her world.

Waiting patiently for the door to open, Ainsley shifted slightly, easing one heeled foot up as she glanced down at her watch. She was on time. And JJ had just told her that the two men were waiting on her, so she knew that they were inside. But apparently, they were not answering.

Wondering if perhaps they hadn't heard the bell, she pressed it again, then followed with a two tap knock. Surely one of those signals would gain the attention of the occupants of JJ's home. Finally, after another long minute wait, Ainsley heard a lock click, and the door opened. And the craggy face of Jason Gideon was her first greeting.

"Hello, Jason," Ainsley said calmly, hoping that she was setting the tone for the meeting. Smiling lightly, she said, looking around him and down the small hallway, "I was afraid that perhaps Dr. Reid was asleep and that you didn't hear the doorbell."

Cocking an eyebrow as he leaned against the doorframe, Gideon acted surprised as he said, looking down at his watch, "Thought you weren't coming. It's two and half minutes past the hour."

But a voice called down the hallway, higher pitched, informing them both, "No, she still has thirty one seconds. Your watch is fast again, Gideon."

"Looks like the tiebreaker goes to the patient," Jason said with a straight face as he stepped aside, motioning for her to enter.

Biting her tongue, knowing that she was going to leave a divot in that sensitive skin, Ainsley said, composed, "Well, since he's the most important person here, then I guess that's his right."

Hearing his answering humph, Ainsley merely followed him down the short hallway, which suddenly opened into a large open room. Faint sunlight slipped through the slatted blinds, bathing the room in an afternoon glow. The comfortable furniture easily permitted great conversation, the chair catty-corner to the couch. A flower-print loveseat sat to the side, just far enough away to allow for a sense of separation, but close enough to be included in the group. Ainsley could definitely see JJ's hand in the decorating scheme, a woman's touch evident at every turn.

And in the middle of the couch, almost as if he was placed center-stage, sat her patient. Dr. Spencer Reid. His knees were drawn up to his chest, and his chin was propped on those knees. It didn't take a licensed professional to recognize that the young genius was attempting to protect himself, to guard his heart from any further danger.

Smiling kindly, Ainsley moved to the side chair as she said, "Hello, Dr. Reid. How has your first full day been in your new surroundings?"

Smiling tightly in reply, Spencer slowly uncurled his body on the couch, forcing himself to attempt to relax as he looked at the open face of his therapist. His eyes wide, he said, slowly, "It feels different. I've been in JJ's house a thousand times…but it seems new somehow."

"Well," Ainsley said carefully, slipping her black bag off her shoulder and dropping it to the floor beside the armchair, "there could be several reasons for that. Perhaps, it has something to do with the fact that the last time you were here, you were a different person. A lot has changed since then, hasn't it?"

"Do you really think jumping into the past as soon as you walk through the front door is the way to go, Doc?" Jason asked from the doorway, his large frame leaning negligently against the wood, arms crossed in front of him. His hovering figure cast a shadow into the room, the sunlight catching his bulk and outlining it easily as he stared down at her.

Clearing her throat, Ainsley tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at the intelligent, albeit condescending, man staring at her. "What I believe, Agent Gideon, is that these need to be private sessions with my patient. At the moment, YOU are not my patient. Although, I might recommend some kind of therapy for you in the future as it would appear that you have some fairly serious issues with respecting boundaries."

Gideon opened his mouth to issue a scathing retort as the genuine sound of Reid's slight chuckle filtered through the quiet room. "She's got you there, Jason," Reid said, smiling faintly at his mentor, friend, and the closest thing he'd ever come to having in a father. Straightening his shoulders just a bit more, Reid shifted against the couch as he found a comfortable spot on the pillows.

"Gee, thanks for your support there, Spencer," Jason grumbled, though his eyes twinkled as he looked at his pseudo son. Damn, he'd been trying all morning to get that kid to show any reaction whatsoever. But let that little minx step into the room and he opened right up. Not that he was upset, he told himself, remembering that anything that helped Reid was a benefit, right?

Calling his attention back to her, Ainsley said, "Perhaps you'd like to take this opportunity to call my office and schedule your own session, Agent Gideon while I visited with Dr. Reid."

"I think I'm fine right here, Dr. Lynde," Jason retorted, determinedly holding his position, intending on ensuring that she continued to offer positive assistance, telling himself that Reid's future was too important to trust to chance.

"Let me see if I can put this in terms that even you can understand then. Get. Out. This is a closed session," Ainsley ordered, smiling tightly as she forced herself to keep her hands at her side. But her eyes threw daggers in the direction of the obstinate fool currently impeding her progress with her patient. And if there was one thing that Ainsley could not stand, it was an obstacle that refused to move!

Looking between his rapidly escalating therapist and his equally stubborn quasi father, Reid couldn't help the grin creeping across his lips. He'd seen Jason in a lot of situations, but he'd never seen him lose an argument. But, he had a feeling that he was definitely about to watch him get cut off at the knees. He only hoped his memory would serve him now as well as it had in the past. He definitely wanted to be able to give JJ and Rossi a blow by blow of THIS.


	50. Chapter 50

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty**

Spencer Reid could readily admit that the last several months hadn't been particularly humorous. There was little to find funny when your thoughts consistently told you that you'd be better off dead. Sure, he'd forced himself to smile and chuckle at Morgan's stupid jokes at the appropriate moments, but actually finding the lunacy and humor in a situation had been a talent that had evaded him for months.

Until today. Until this afternoon.

Yes, this afternoon had proven to him that he could still be genuinely amused, even if it was at the expense of his elders, if not his betters.

Because today, he had watched a tiny slip of a woman gain the upper hand against the formidable Jason Gideon. And that event would be forever indelibly seared into his cerebral cortex.

His therapist, Dr. Ainsely Lynde, had advised him today to begin keeping a feelings journal. A simple catalogue of the emotions he'd experienced on a given day and the situation that had accompanied the feeling. Who knew that she and his pseudo-father would fill the first fifteen pages of said journal? Certainly not him, the patient, and yet, fifteen pages in, he was still smiling.

At least his laughter had finally ebbed. Honestly, he spent the first twenty minutes of his session trying to recover his composure. Truly, watching Gideon and Ainsley's banter had been like watching one of those movies from the Forties like His Girl Friday or The Philadelphia Story, with each one of the lead characters trying to have the final word.

And then the physical comedy portion of the program had begun.

Drawn from his musings by the ringing doorbell, Spencer heard Gideon's rough curse and the sound of a slamming pan from the kitchen.

"I'll get it, Jason!" Spencer called from the living room, padding toward the foyer. Pulling open the front door, Spencer cocked his head as JJ and Dave stood waiting patiently outside the front door. "You do realize that it's unnecessary to ring the bell to your own home, right?" he asked JJ pleasantly, his pale eyes inquisitive..

"That's what I told 'er," Rossi grunted, rolling his eyes as he stuffed a hand in his jeans' pocket.

"We're being polite," JJ said kindly, flashing Dave a warning glare before smiling benignly at Spencer. "You deserve to have some semblance of privacy and normalcy."

Frowning as they all heard another clatter and string of curses bending the air, Dave asked, eyebrow raised, "Where's Gideon?"

"You can't hear?" Spence smiled, gesturing behind him, waving his hand toward the back of the small home. "Jason's experienced a very unpleasant afternoon."

"Is he okay?" JJ asked worriedly as she stared at Reid. Seeing her younger friend smile genuinely for the first time in longer than she could remember, she relaxed marginally. Feeling Rossi's hand settle onto the small of her back, she leaned into his touch as she shifted slightly.

"Let's just say that it's been an enlightening afternoon for both myself AND Jason," Reid grinned, his hands tucked into the front pockets of his dark corduroy pants.

"Oh, no," JJ sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "Let me guess. This has something to do with your session this afternoon. Did it go badly?"

"For me, not at all," Reid drawled, his smile growing bigger by the moment. Darn, it felt good to be able to share stuff about someone else for a change. "Now, Jason, on the other hand…"

"What's Gideon done now?" Rossi sighed, rolling his eyes as he stepped behind JJ, their footsteps light against the tiled entryway floor. "Because I'm assuming that he and your highly competent therapist didn't exactly share a meeting of the minds, did they?"

Walking back into the den, JJ and Dave trailed behind Reid. Settling back on the sofa, pulling a pillow under his arm, Reid grinned again, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Let's just say that between you guys and me, I think Jason Gideon has finally met someone that might just be able to stay two steps ahead of even him."

"He said he was going to stay for your session," JJ said, keeping her voice low as she leaned leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees, wincing as the baby took that moment to let her know that she didn't appreciate the cramped space.

"He tried," Reid nodded, eyes wide. "I have to say it was one of the most dedicated efforts that I've ever seen him make.

"What do you mean, 'He tried'?" Dave asked, leaning back against the loveseat as he settled JJ against him, shifting her back slightly as he saw her grimace.

"After a rather heated debate and exchange of words, Ainsley asked him if Jason wouldn't mind retrieving her briefcase from her car. After he walked out the door, uhmm…well…she locked him out," Reid explained, his face animated as he quietly related the events of the afternoon, his hands fluttering from side to side.

"She locked him out? Of the house?" JJ asked, startled, her eyes widening at the alacrity at which the young doctor had conformed into their small group.

"And her car, too," Reid chuckled, nodding quickly. "He puttered around your back yard cursing for over forty-five minutes. Incidentally, he's noted the four areas in which he believes you should plant tulip bulbs. And, he recommended that you hire an exterminator post haste to eradicate those carpenter ants that have taken up residence in your trees."

"Damn, Babe!" Rossi laughed, lowering his voice at the last moment, "I told you that we should have stuck around for the fireworks! I'd have paid good money to watch Jason Gideon get slammed into place by that tiny woman."

"Oh, it looks much the same way it does when JJ puts you in your place, Agent Rossi," Reid shrugged easily, his smirk reminiscent of the Reid that they all knew and loved.

"JJ does not put me in my place," Dave denied, shifting uncomfortably under the scrutiny of Reid's gaze.

"Sure, she doesn't," Reid placated, his eyes reflecting the humor in that statement. "Anyway, I didn't really care one way or another if Jason stayed or not. I mean, it's not as though I have any secrets anymore."

"Spence, you need that privacy in order to share whatever you want to without worrying about how anybody else feels about what you're saying," JJ reminded him patiently, her concern evident in every word.

"Yes, that's what Dr. Lynde kept insisting as well, despite Jason's very vocal protests," Reid nodded in agreement.

"Oh, I bet he was," Rossi chuckled. "Tell me, did that vein pop out in the side of his head?" Looking at JJ as she turned to him, eyes questioning, he laughed, "We used to call it Jason's mini-me back in the day."

"It did," Reid affirmed quickly, his grin growing wider as he added, "I believe that occurred right around the time he accused Dr. Lynde of being some kind of witch doctor or voodoo priestess intent on practicing some form of – what did he call it? Oh, yes! Some kind of hocus pocus on me that would make me feel worse than I already did. He expressed severe discomfort about leaving me alone with her. Said he was worried what new age touchy feely stuff she'd have me placing my faith in."

"Oh, God!" JJ groaned, dropping her head in her hands, wondering how many phone calls were going to be necessary to salvage this situation.

"Kid, you know that's a load of crap, right?" Rossi growled, tightening his hand against JJ's waist as he felt her stiffen. "I personally vetted that doctor before we allowed her anywhere near you and Garcia double checked my check. And you know how thorough she is."

"Of course," Reid nodded, waving a dismissive hand, the situation of no consequence to him. "I knew JJ wouldn't let any of you throw me to the wolves."

"Why do you always get all the credit?" Dave asked out of the side of his mouth.

"I'm prettier than you are," JJ smiled up at him, the worry from a few seconds ago now merely a fleeting thought.

Continuing his vein of thought, Reid added, "At any rate, Jason seems to enjoy pushing Dr. Lynde's buttons. All of them. In a limited amount of time."

"I'm afraid to ask how Ainsley responded to the challenge," JJ winced, leaning against Rossi's shoulder.

"You mean before she evicted him?" Reid questioned innocently, glancing toward the kitchen as he heard a loud crash followed by a string of muffled curses. "Actually, she held her own quite well. She told Jason that he was intentionally trying to insert himself into the situation and exert control to give himself power that he obviously didn't feel like he deserved. Then she suggested that, perhaps, he needed to schedule a session with a qualified professional to review his feelings of inadequacy. Then she told him that her book was full, but she could recommend several seasoned professionals."

"Oh, I bet he loved that," Rossi said, eyes twinkling as he rubbed his hands together, wondering if he could get Reid to recount this little adventure for Morgan and Hotch. God knew, they could use a laugh now, too, and Gideon's troubles were always a great source of enjoyment for him.

"That's when the vein came out," Reid shivered, the memory bringing back another delicious chill.


	51. Chapter 51

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-One**

"Ah…the vein," Rossi murmured knowingly, reclining against the sofa cushions as another ringing curse from the direction of the kitchen bent the air around them.

"Oh, good grief, tell me that Ainsley didn't quit on us by the time Jason Gideon pulled his overbearing pain in the ass routine," JJ groaned, dropping her head to Dave's shoulder, shifting on the small loveseat.

"Oh, Dr. Lynde got her comeuppance," Reid grinned, bobbing his head. Leaning toward JJ, he whispered, grinning, "It gets better."

"Better than Lynde locking Gideon out of his own house?" Dave chuckled, sliding his fingers down JJ's arm as he pulled her closer. "This I gotta hear."

"Well, while Gideon was otherwise occupied outside, Dr. Lynde and I continued our session. Which incidentally, she deemed very productive. On a side note, she mentioned wanting to have a family," Reid said, using air quotes, "session. She said she thought I would benefit from hearing from everybody in a structured setting."

"We can do that, Spence," JJ nodded encouragingly, reaching over to cover his hand with hers and squeezing slightly. Just a few days ago, she would have never been able to imagine being here, watching Spencer comfortable discussing therapy. And yet, here he was.....seemingly comfortable in his own skin.

"Do I have to come?" Dave asked, casting his eyes over at the young man on the couch. "I always tell you what I think," he grunted as JJ's elbow connected with his stomach. Turning an accusing gaze toward her, Dave grunted, rubbing his belly, "What? It's true."

"Shut. Up," JJ growled, not even turning to look at him as she kept her eyes on Spencer.

Laughing, Reid shook his head, his pale eyes sparkling with life. "I think she wanted everybody there, Dave. Even Jason. Which is sort of a minor miracle, if you ask me."

"So what happened next between the good doctor and the old goat?" Dave asked, interested in spite of himself. Throughout the years, Jason Gideon had exhibited definite signs of control issues, very unwilling to give up any form of control. Hearing of his escapades with the tiny doctor who seemed to have the upper hand was definitely a great source of entertainment!

Glancing over his shoulder to make sure that the topic of his conversation was not about to appear suddenly, Reid leaned forward, his smile growing by the second. "The situation escalated from mere antagonism to outright war. And I believe that both sides have retreated to neutral territory now."

Looking carefully around her well-decorated living room, JJ asked quickly, eyes narrowed, "Don't tell me that they started destroying each other. Or my house."

"Nope, they had the good sense to wait until they were outdoors," Reid answered easily, nodding as he gestured toward the front door. "Well, maybe I should say that Gideon had the good sense. He's obviously the one who started that little battle."

"I didn't notice any large craters in the front yard coming in," Rossi mused, rubbing JJ's shoulders absently. "So apparently whatever they did only damaged one another. And I'm fairly certain Gideon wouldn't hit a woman."

"No, but he doesn't seem to have any qualms about causing damage to her vehicle. To her tires, to be exact," Reid nodded, his eyes dancing as he recalled the memory from earlier that afternoon.

Eyes widening, JJ muttered slowly, pulling away from Dave's arm to lean forward, "Spencer, what did Jason do to Dr. Lynde's car?"

"According to him, nothing," Spence said with a small grin. Waving his hand between them, he said, knowingly, "And between you and I, I think he was telling the truth. Although, I can understand Dr. Lynde's proclivity for doubting him. He WAS grinning like an idiot child. PROBABLY, not his best move."

"What happened?" JJ asked again, squeezing her eyes closed as she braced herself for the coming explanation. Pressing a hand to her expanding stomach, she only hoped that her baby daughter was not listening to the escapades of her so-called Uncle Gideon.

"According to Dr. Lynde, he let the air out of her tire like a juvenile delinquent. According to Gideon, she picked up a nail on her way in and it flattened her tire. Either way, the following fight was a sight to behold," Reid explained, then added, piously, " I, of course, stayed at a safe distance."

"Of course," Dave commented, covering his chuckle with a cough, shifting as JJ's elbow made another connection with a lower rib.

"Why did they fight? Don't tell me Gid made that tiny woman change that tire on her own!" JJ gasped, pressing a hand to her cheek, appalled by the idea that Jason Gideon would be anything less than a gentleman.

"In his defense," Spence said, shaking his head sadly, "He tried. I watched him try. But Dr. Lynde was a bit emotional by that point. She was entirely convinced that Jason had done it for spite. Then the violence began."

"Violence?" Dave choked, sliding his hand down JJ's tensed back, easing his fingers against the tight lower muscles.

"Uh huh," Spence nodded dutifully.

"What the hell did Gideon do?" JJ yelped, jerking forward as she felt the baby bounce inside, responding to her mother's sudden movements.

"Oh, no violence was committed by Jason," Reid assured them quickly, pressing his hands to his knobby knees. "Dr. Lynde, however…well, she was a little put out with the inconvenience. And with Jason's running commentary over her shoulder about how she was doing it wrong."

"Doing what wrong?" Rossi asked, biting his lip as he kept his fingers on JJ's waist, relaxing those stiffening muscles.

"Changing the tire. First, she was twisting the bolts in the right direction. Then he said she didn't have the jack secured. And by that point, Dr Lynde…well, for lack of a better word…she snapped," Spence informed his captive audience, completely warmed to his topic.

"Snapped?" JJ asked weakly, thinking of the diminutive redhead that had seemed so sane when she'd left today. This is what their family did to people, she thought darkly. They sucked them in and completely removed all forms of rational thought!

"Snapped," Spence confirmed with a nod of his shaggy head, finding that he enjoyed how that word slid off his tongue.

"Snapped, how exactly, Reid?" Rossi asked as he watched impatient agitation begin to work its way across JJ's face. "Quick, son, before SHE pops a vein…or a kid," he said jerking his head toward JJ, sliding his hand up to cup her neck.

Nodding in understanding, Reid explained quickly, "According to Jason, at that point Dr. Lynde assaulted him with her wrench. According to Dr. Lynde, she simply lost her grip on the tool. Of course, throwing it at his head might have had something to do with it."

"She threw the wrench at Jason?" Dave gaped, imagining the tiny doctor taking out the great Jason Gideon. "We are soooo sending her a fruit basket…and a thank you note," Dave said with a mischievous smile at JJ.

Slapping his chest, JJ growled, "Not helping, Dave!" Turning back toward her narrator, JJ prodded, hearing louder noises coming from the kitchen, "Then what, Spence."

"Well, in typical Gideon fashion," Reid started, leaning forward until he was perched precariously on the edge of the overstuffed sofa, "he proceeded to chastise her, citing that he might not be the only one with some psychological issues and recommended that she find her own therapist to deal with her anger management issues. I'm sure that you can imagine how well she took his advice."

"Just tell me, Reid, did she mow him down once she finally managed to change her tire?" Dave asked, eyes shining as JJ groaned, pressing her head into her hands again.

"Only his foot," Reid shrugged, glancing over his shoulder as he heard another loud curse emanate from the other room. Turning back to the couple on the loveseat, he added, in simple explanation, "And her theory was that he had two of those anyway."


	52. Chapter 52

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Two**

Stopping suddenly in the middle of the busy hallway, his hand on the knob for the solid glass door, Jason Gideon turned toward the man beside him. "Okay, just to cover a few last things. We're going to get in, get out, and get this over with. Got it?"

Cocking one eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest, David Rossi shook his head as he grunted, "Don't look at me with your demands, Gid. I'm just here because JJ ordered me to keep an eye on you. So I'd appreciate it if you'd manage to keep from killing anybody, if you get my drift. I don't relish having to explain to JJ how you managed to commit a major crime on my watch."

"I'm not going to commit homicide, Dave," Gideon said through clenched teeth, pushing on the door as he moved forward determinedly. "I'm just going to get Spencer away from this Godforsaken useless therapist before she manages to fry his brain anymore than she already has."

Following behind the stiff man as he stomped through a small entryway, Rossi muttered, "Again, let me reiterate. Just here to pacify JJ. And if you do something that ends up pissing her off, just remember that I'll have no problems killing you. Capice?"

Ignoring the man behind him, Jason Gideon kept his eyes on the prize as he moved through the well-decorated office, aiming purposefully toward a closed wooden door, intent on confronting the bear in her den without delay. But suddenly, a strident voice broke through his thoughts, and he remembered, belatedly, that he might have a few problems with his plan.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat drug back in," Mabel the receptionist drawled out, pushing up heavily from her desk, her cane in her gnarled hand. "I thought the last time you ran out of here tail tucked between your legs that I'd seen the last of your sorry carcass."

"I see you've been making friends," Rossi muttered under his breath, trying to control the grin pulling at his lips as he watched his one time partner actually back up a step as the good doctor's watchdog stepped toward him.

"Look, Lady," Gideon growled, crossing his arms over his chest, "I'm not here to cause any trouble. I just wanna steal a few moments of your Dr. Lynde's precious time. So you just keep your cane on the other side of your desk this time and we won't have any problems."

Snorting, Mabel looked Jason up and down slowly before she asked, her words deliberate, "And what time was your appointment scheduled for, Agent Gideon?" Reaching for her appointment book on her well-ordered desk, she glanced down at the daily schedule as she said, facetiously, "Hmmm. Appears that you might have arrived on the wrong day, doesn't it?"

"I don't have a damned appointment, you geriatric -," Gideon began to bluster as the grey metal cane clattered against the floor as Mabel narrowed her eyes in his direction. Seeing the dangerous glint in the receptionist's eyes, Gideon swallowed, the definite pain of that cane cracking against his shin once before at the forefront of his memory.

"You were saying, Sonny?" Mabel grunted, cocking her head as her fingers tightened around her makeshift weapon, well prepared to defend her doctor's door with a vengeance.

Clearing his throat, Gideon tightened his lips as he bit out, "Could you just see if Dr. Lynde could spare a few minutes. I'll be quick. I swear."

Staring severely at the man standing in front of her desk, Mabel shook her steel grey head as she said formally, "Dr. Lynde is taking her lunch at the moment. I'll be happy to buzz her when she's done."

"But the sign right there," Gideon argued, jabbing an impatient finger at Ainsley's door, "says that she's in. She can't chew a sandwich and listen at the same time?" Gideon growled in obvious agitation. Rolling his eyes then, he sighed, talking to the ceiling, "Of course she can't…she can't even manage to counsel a patient without offending his family. Of course she can't talk and eat synonymously. Obviously those degrees of hers aren't worth the paper they were pr…"

"Have a seat, Agent Gideon, or hit the road. Your choice." Mabel interrupted sharply with a glare, crossing her arms over her ample chest.

"Has anybody ever told you that your people skills need some serious work, lady?" Gideon grunted, not yielding an inch of ground.

"Nobody that mattered," Mabel shrugged, pointing toward the padded chairs of the waiting room. Imperiously, she commanded, "Sit."

Eyeing Ainsley's door with a narrowed eye, Gideon mentally calculated how quickly he could make it across the room. Turning his gaze back to Mabel, he found her smiling.

"Go ahead," she nodded almost pleasantly. "Try it. I dare you. But ask yourself first, Agent Gideon, how much damage can one old lady do with her cane? And then tabulate how long the proctologist is gonna have to take to remove it from up your -,"

Grabbing Gideon's arm as he felt him jerk, Dave forced a smile at the little old lady in front of them. "He's sitting, ma'am! Right over there," Dave said obediently, nodding at the opposite wall. "Far, far over there," he growled, physically shoving an agitated Gideon toward the waiting seats.

His normally placid face reddening by the moment, Jason asserted loudly, "Damn it, Dave, I could have…."

"Are you nuts, Jason?!" Dave hissed, eyeing the receptionist's desk carefully, watching as the elderly woman serenely settled into place, the phone receiver pressed to her ear. "It's gonna be pretty hard to take you seriously mounted on that woman's cane!"

"I coulda made it," Jason grumbled, pursing his lips as he frowned at Ainsley's closed door. "And the sooner we get rid of this office full of fruit loops, the better!"

"Why?" Dave grunted, slapping a well-used magazine in Gideon's lap. "We fit in so well here."


	53. Chapter 53

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Three**

Twenty minutes later, Jason Gideon cast an irritated glare towards the white headed receptionist at the front of the office, letting his displeasure show as she deliberately ignored the two men waiting in the corner.

"You're not gonna be able to glare that one into submission, Gid, so give it up," Dave chuckled from beside him, not bothering to look up from the well-used parenting magazine open in his lap.

"This is absolutely ridiculous. What if this was an emergency? Would she just leave one of her patients sitting out here like this?" Gideon huffed, picking up the magazine in his own lap and throwing it violently back on the coffee table in front of him, earning a censuring stare from the Cryptkeeper up front.

"This isn't an emergency and WE aren't Dr. Lynde's patients, in case you've forgotten," Dave said patiently, flipping a glossy page as he spoke. "In fact, you and I really have no say in Reid's treatment plan at all. Hotch and JJ are the one's listed on our Dr. Reid's power of attorney."

"That's only because I left like an idiot," Jason grumbled, dropping back against the upholstered chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No arguments there," Dave shrugged, crossing one leg over the other as he bit back a smile.

"Gee, thanks for all your support, asshole," Gideon replied, sarcasm tingeing every word. Leaning toward Dave, he hissed, "This is all your fault anyway. You picked this wannabe out," he said with a nod toward Ainsley's closed door. "What? Did she have a head shot in her file? Is that why you chose her?"

"So," Dave drawled out the word, casting an interested look at his old friend. "You find Dr. Lynde attractive, do you?" Dave asked with a smirk.

"No, I think you probably found her attractive," Gideon snapped, refusing to meet the other man's eyes. "I find her annoyingly irritating."

"Sure you do," Dave patronized, nodding. "That's why every time you two are in a room together it looks like you strip her with your eyes. Some things can't be faked, Jason. You've got a thing for the redhead," he teased, his words sing-songing softly in the otherwise quiet waiting room.

"If by a "thing" you mean that I can quite easily visualize dribbling her head like a basketball, yeah, sure, I've got a thing," Gideon growled.

"Uh huh," Dave nodded, closing his magazine and turning to stare at Jason. "Why don't you just admit it?" he asked conversationally. "It's healthy that you've started looking at women again, man. I'd worry if you didn't."

"I am NOT looking at Ainsley Lynde. She's not my type. She's YOUR type," Gideon muttered. "Wonder if JJ has realized that yet?" Jason goaded, his words biting out.

Smiling benignly, Dave simply shook his head. "You're deflecting and I'm not gonna rise to the bait. I only have one type now. She's blonde haired, blue eyed and giving birth to my daughter."

"Yeah, right," Gideon snorted, the other man's calm exterior beginning to get on his last nerve. "Until you get bored with daddydom."

Narrowing his eyes as he held back the retort currently sitting on the edge of his tongue, Rossi warned, "Step lightly, old man. Or it won't be the geriatric receptionist that shoves her cane up your ass. It'll be me. You know I'm in love with JJ. And you damn well know how long I've waited for a kid. So, do yourself a favor and watch that the smart ass comments don't strike too close to home."

"Sorry," Gideon muttered, staring at his hands clasped together in front of him, mentally kicking himself. "You're right, I am deflecting. It's obvious to anyone that looks at you how in love with JJ you are…and that you're over the moon about the baby. I guess I'm just angry with myself for turning my back on the team. If I'd been here…"

"If you'd been here, I'd never have found JJ. And I wouldn't be having a second chance at everything I ever wanted," Rossi stated evenly, not mincing his words. "I'm pretty damn grateful that you walked away, Jason."

Snorting, Gideon shook his head. "Always the selfish bastard, aren't you, Dave? At least it worked out for somebody."

"It's going to work out for Reid, too. You've just gotta give it time, Jase. And I'm not sure that running off a therapist that he feels comfortable with is the way to do it," Rossi offered carefully. "He likes her…feels comfortable with her. You sure you wanna try messing with that?"

"She's….infuriating," Gideon finally bit out, casting a dark look toward the closed office door.

"To you, maybe," Dave shrugged. "But the only question that matters is, 'Is she good with Reid?'"

"Oh, hell, I don't know! Have you even heard the latest? That crazy fool wants to do a family session. With the team!" Gideon huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Fairly common in the world of therapy, or so I'm told," Dave said easily, wondering if the man had lost the good common sense he once had. "And like it or not, the team is a family. A dysfunctional family, but still undeniably a family."

"Yeah, and I get to play the role of deadbeat dad that walked out on his kid," Jason grumbled, frowning as he looked down at his hands, picking at the edge of his thumbnail.

"That may have been who you WERE, Jase. But it isn't who you ARE now. You're here and you're fighting for your kid's health and safety. That doesn't sound deadbeat to me," Rossi pointed out.

"Arrghh!" Gideon groaned, stretching his back as he felt the tension in his spine. "How did this turn into a conversation about me?" he asked sharply, lowering his voice at the last minute when he heard a deep sigh coming from the direction of the watchdog on the other side of the room.

"Because it's your issues with the good doctor that led us here," Rossi replied patiently, measuring the emotions playing over his old colleague's face.

"Tell me the truth, Dave. I know you chose the therapist. Why'd you pick this one?" Gideon asked quietly, jerking his chin toward the door.

"Because she's good, Gid," Dave said softly. "JJ wanted the best for Reid. And wherever possible, I always give JJ what she asks for. This woman might be young, but she knows her stuff. Her success record with patients stands on its own. Less than three percent of her patients suffer a recurrence. Simply put, she manages to put their asses back on the wagon and somehow she convinces them to stay there. I don't know how. I don't care how. I only care that we don't lose Reid and I never have to see that terrified look in JJ's eyes again. At the time, you weren't here to consult with. But I honestly believe that even if you had been, we'd have still chosen Dr. Lynde."

"Don't bet on it," Gideon muttered, narrowing his eye at the door again. Glancing at his watch, he saw that a half hour had passed. Looking back at Dave, he held up his watch in front of the other man's nose. "Okay, now tell me she isn't just doing this for spite."

"Well," Dave said slowly, "She does think you let the air out of her tire," he said, biting back the grin threatening to escape.

"Even if that was true, which it ISN'T, she ran me down in retribution, Dave!" Jason exclaimed.

"She accidently rolled over your FOOT, Jase. I don't think that qualifies as a hit and run, man," Dave said, unable to hold back his laughter.

"That woman," he growled, jabbing his finger toward the closed office door, "is deranged! And what happened at our last session was NO accident!"

And opening her office door, that was the first statement that Dr. Ainsley Lynde heard out of Jason Gideon's mouth. "Well, well, well, Agent Gideon!" she drawled. "Right this way, the DERANGED doctor will see you now. Mabel, hold my calls and ignore the screams coming from my office for the next fifteen minutes," she ordered, gesturing Jason inside.

As Dave moved to follow the other man, Ainsley held up a hand. "Oh, no! I don't think I want any witnesses for THIS! Have a seat, Agent Rossi. I'll return the pieces of Jason Gideon when I'm through rearranging them," she huffed, slamming the door in Rossi's shocked face.


	54. Chapter 54

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Four**

"Do you even know the definition of the word 'appointment', Agent Gideon?" Ainsley bit out as she slammed her office door closed before whirling to face her adversary. What the hell was it about this man that alternately infuriated her and thrilled her? He certainly wasn't the type of man that she normally found attractive. There was nothing smooth about Jason Gideon. He was all rough edges and sharp angled. Usually, Ainsley found herself intrigued by a well-rounded man….nothing like the abrasive oaf standing in the center of her office.

"And here I was thinking that you prided yourself on your open door policy," Jason said snidely, dropping his hands into his pockets as he eyed the flushed woman in front of him. "That's what you told Reid, isn't it? That your door was always open any time he needed you."

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. And it is. FOR HIM. You, however are not my patient. You're not my anything…other than a colossal pain in my ass," Ainsley charged, jabbing a finger in his direction.

"So, why not quit?" Gideon asked, tilting his head. "It's obvious that Reid's family is a little too much for you to handle, Doctor. Why not remove yourself from his case?"

"Because I CAN handle Dr. Reid. And what's more, I can help him. I AM helping him. It's YOU that keeps impeding progress, sir. I am doing my job to the very best of my ability," she countered. "And as to why I don't remove myself from the case….I wouldn't give YOU that kind of satisfaction," Ainsley sneered, walking a wide circle around the mountain of a man currently dominating her personal space. Seating herself behind her desk, she struggled to maintain her composure. Of all the nerve, she thought…how dare he come in her office and question her policies? Evidently, this man thought people should roll out the red carpet any time he deigned to lower himself for a visit. It was about time someone gave Jason Gideon the reality check he so richly deserved.

"How about your patient then?" Gideon asked conversationally, dropping into the chair he'd occupied the last time of year and leaning forward to pluck one of the candies from the crystal dish on her desk.

Smacking his hand sharply, Ainsley grabbed the candy back, dropping it back into the dish with the others. "Patients only," she snapped. "And what about Dr. Reid?"

"What if he wasn't happy with his current course of treatment? Would you be more receptive to him?" Gideon asked pleasantly. "Or would you smack his hand, too."

Pursing her lips, Ainsley looked at Gideon through slit eyes. "No, I wouldn't smack Dr. Reid's hand because he IS a patient. A patient that contrary to your efforts is benefitting from my therapy."

"Really," Jason drawled. "Did he tell you that?"

"He doesn't need to tell me anything for me to see improvements in his condition," Ainsley said in a clipped tone. "Do you have a point here, Agent Gideon. I'm due to make hospital rounds in half an hour."

"What if Dr. Reid wanted you gone, Dr. Lynde. Would you step aside for another more qualified physician?" Gideon asked, watching Ainsley's face tighten in anger.

"Actually, no, I wouldn't," Ainsley shook her head. "Dr. Reid didn't hire me. David Rossi and Jennifer Jareau did. And since Agent Jareau holds Spencer Reid's power of attorney, the decision to dismiss me remains in her very capable hands. Let me see if I can put this in a language even you can understand, Agent Gideon." Tapping a finger to her chin, she pretended to ponder the point for only a few seconds, before widening her eyes dramatically. "I've got it!" she snapped. Leaning across the desk, she said in a very precise, measured voice, "You, sir, are, as they say, shit out of luck. There! Was that clear enough for you?"

Barely containing a grin, Gideon nodded. "That was pretty self-explanatory, Doc." Tilting his head, Gideon stared at the gorgeous woman across the desk. Red hair, rosy cheeks, sparkling green eyes. She was the epitome of an Irish lass…right down to her name.

"What?" Ainsley asked suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me like that? What are you plotting, Agent Gideon?"

"Jason," he said softly.

"What?" she frowned.

"Jason. Call me Jason. I think once you've rolled over a man's foot with your car, you can do away with the formalities, can't you?"

"THAT was an accident…unlike my tire," Ainsley snorted, shuffling the papers on her desk. "THAT, on the other hand, was malicious destruction of my personal property."

"I didn't touch your damn tire, woman," Gideon grumbled, slouching in his chair. "If I had, I'd have flattened all four of them…not just one."

"How very juvenile of you, Agent Gideon," Ainsley said sweetly, glaring at him over the top of her glasses.

"Jason," he corrected easily.

"Huh?" Ainsley snapped again, growing more irritated and aroused by the moment.

"I said my name was Jason. Please use it," Gideon reminded her.

"Why would I do that?" Ainsley muttered, pretending to study the reports in her hand.

"Because I fully intend to call you Ainsley from this point on," Gideon shrugged. "I figured fair is fair."

"Why would you do that?" Ainsley asked in confusion.

"It's your name, isn't it?" Jason questioned, lazily studying his nails.

"Yes," Ainsley answered tersely. It was official; this man was going to drive her to drink. She had a bottle of booze stashed somewhere, didn't she?

"Good," Jason nodded in satisfaction. "I always like to get my friends' names right."

"Say what now?" Ainsley sputtered in confusion.

"Oh, didn't I mention it?" Jason asked, propping his chin on his hand as he stared across the expanse of the desk at the befuddled beauty in front of him. "I've decided that you and I should be friends. I'm told it's a lot easier than being enemies. Figured I'd find out for myself."


	55. Chapter 55

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Five**

Holding up one perfectly manicured hand to stop the onslaught of words coming from Gideon's mouth, Ainsley narrowed her glinting eyes at Jason suspiciously. "Let me get this straight. You've decided you want to be friends? With me?"

Looking from side to side, Jason shrugged, "I'm not hearing any other voices in the room." Wriggling his dark brows, he winked, "Are you?"

"Of course not," Ainsley snapped, pursing her lips. "Okay, Jason," she drawled, "Out with it. What's your angle?"

"What makes you think that I have an angle, Ainsley. You're not exhibiting signs of paranoia, are you? Surely you don't think I'm out to get you, do you?" Jason asked with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

"What I think is that you're up to something. What, I'm not sure. But I definitely smell a devious scheme in the making," Ainsley retorted, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Is it so beyond the pale to believe that I might actually want to get to know you better? Come on, it's like that old saying. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," he shrugged easily, watching a myriad of emotions pass over her heart shaped face. "Don't tell me that you've never had a man say he's interested in knowing you better, Ainsley."

"Oh, plenty have wanted to know me, Jason," Ainsley snapped smartly. "But very few have been worth my time."

"Ah, so you're batting for the other team, huh," he whispered conspiratorally.

Confused, Ainsley tilted her head as she slowly realized what the man before her had just insinuated. "I beg your pardon!" she blustered. "I most certainly do NOT play for the other team…not that there's anything wrong with the opposite team…It just so happens that I like the team I'm on just fine."

"You just don't want ME on your team, huh? That's not a very good lesson in sportsmanship," Jason teased, enjoying the blush flooding her cheeks immensely.

"You don't strike me as the type of man that's ever played by any set of rules other than his own," Ainsley retorted gamely. "Go ahead, tell the big bad doctor how wrong she is," Ainsley invited him with a smirk of her own.

"Can't," Gideon said bluntly. "You're right."

Flabbergasted, Ainsley's eyes widened. "Could you repeat that? And perhaps right it down, date and sign it. Because nobody is going to believe me when I tell them that you said I was right about anything."

"You're a funny girl, Ainsley," Gideon smiled, nodding appreciatively. "But I'm on to you, you know. For someone you proclaim to detest, you had no problem quoting me several times in your dissertation on the effects of a dysfunction family on the criminal mind. I think I was annotated no less than ten times."

"You arrogant son of a -," Ainsley blustered.

"I think you find my arrogance charming," Gideon said easily, wagging a finger at her. "And no insulting my mother. I assure you my birth was entirely legitimate."

"Just because I happen to agree with you on some of your viewpoints regarding my profession, it does not necessarily mean that I get hot and bothered just thinking about you," Ainsley bit out through clenched teeth. "I quoted your friend, Agent Rossi, several times as well. Do you theorize that I also have feelings for him."

"Better not," Gideon chided. "I think JJ could take you," he shrugged with a slow grin. "At least once she drops that kid she's lugging around."

"So eloquent," Ainsley sniffed. "I do believe my heart's all aflutter," she said, pressing a hand dramatically to her chest.

"You realize that you only draw my attention to your breasts when you do something like that," Gideon offered conversationally, eyeing her well endowed chest with twinkling eyes.

Glaring at him, Ainsley crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "Unintentional, I assure you."

"Well, don't hide 'em," Gideon snorted. "It's not like I haven't already noticed them."

"What exactly is it going to take me to get you out of my office?" Ainsley asked pleasantly, tiling her head as she studied the attractive man in front of her as he snagged another piece of candy from the dish on her desk.

"Go out to dinner with me," Gideon offered.

"Why?" Ainsley asked suspiciously, wondering if perhaps the persnickety man in front of her had hired a hit man to off her.

"Because, I've decided that if I'm not going to successfully scare you off, I might as well get to know you better," Jason said with a shrug as his gaze met hers. "I think we might actually have quite a bit in common once we get past the initial thorns of our relationship.

"You and I don't have a relationship, Agent Gideon," Ainsley intoned, straightening in her seat as she reached for a pen.

"Jason…and we don't have a relationship YET. We could, you know. You aren't MY therapist," he smiled watching the younger woman squirm in her seat.

"And IF I agreed to dinner with you…exactly what do I get out of it besides a free meal?" Ainsley asked, resting her chin on her hand as her other hand nervously tapped her pen against the blotter on her desk.

A slow smile spreading across his handsome face, Jason settled more deeply in his chair, thoroughly entertained by their negotiations. "What do you want?"

"You really want to know?" Ainsley asked, raising a challenging eyebrow heavenward.

"Absolutely," Gideon replied, his eyes never wavering from her becoming face. Why hadn't he noticed how pretty she was before?

"Fine. I'll tell you," Ainsley said, smiling sweetly. "I want your unqualified productive participation in next week's family session with Dr. Reid. Stew on that, Agent Gideon."

"It's Jason," Gideon reminded her tersely. "And define productive," he added, needing clarification. There's no way he was willing to sell his soul to the devilish doctor without knowing all the stipulations.

Rolling her eyes, Ainsley issued a long sigh before saying slowly, "For such an educated man, you certainly can be quite the dim bulb, can't you? Pro-duct-ive. As in you do not actively attempt to sabotage my session with your entire family at any point during our meeting. I want sixty uninterrupted minutes without you trying to pull your caveman routine and try to usurp my authority. I happen to be very good at what I do, Jason."

Chewing the inside of his cheek as his stare clashed with hers, Jason finally inclined his head. "Agreed. But for my capitulation, I demand two dates. One hardly offers you enough time to truly appreciate my sense of humor and many other wonderful qualities."

"Agent Gideon, I don't believe that can be accomplished in a month of Sundays," Ainsley sighed. "But you have a deal. Now, if you'll kindly remove yourself from my office, I have patients to see," Ainsley smiled, nodding toward her office door. "You can call Mabel with the details," she added pleasantly.

"Now, THAT'S unnecessarily cruel, Ainsley," Jason said, looking over his shoulder at her as he reached the door.

"I'm studying at the foot of a master," Ainsley replied, never looking up from the file on her desk. "Good day, Jason."


	56. Chapter 56

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Six**

Eyes widening on his former colleague as he strode out of Dr. Ainsley Lynde's office, David Rossi could only form one coherent thought. That son of a bitch was whistling…and smiling. Taking a cautious step toward Jason, Dave tilted his head and eyed his friend suspiciously. "Two questions, Jase. What the hell did you do and how much trouble is it gonna get me in with JJ?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rossi," Gideon shrugged easily, grabbing his jacket from the peg on the wall.

"You're smiling, Jason," Dave replied. "And whistling. This does not bode well for me. You didn't kill her, did you?" he asked, craning his neck around Jason to gaze worriedly at the doctor's closed door.

"Ainsley is in perfectly fine condition, I assure you," Gideon returned with a smug smile.

"Oh, hell. I know that look. You're up to something," Dave accused, jabbing a finger at the other man. "Whatever it is, just forget about it! It won't work anyway and it'll be my ass left roasting over JJ's fire."

"Now why would I want to do that?" Gideon asked innocently. "Especially when I've gotten the good doctor to agree to go to dinner with me. Twice," he smirked, beyond satisfied with himself.

"What? Why? How?" Rossi asked, rattled, looking over Gideon's shoulder at the closed door again, wondering if the doctor was bound and gagged somewhere, stuffed in a closet. Dammit, he was going to have to explain this to JJ, he just knew it. "Jase, what the hell did you do? Drug her?"

"Is it so hard to believe that the good doctor might find me charming?" Gideon asked, slipping one arm inside his jacket, a cheerful smile crinkling his cheeks.

"First, good was not an adjective you were using to describe Dr. Lynde half an hour ago," Dave replied, counting off his objections on his fingers. "Second, hell, Gideon, your own mother never even found you charming…let alone the doctor you've been terrorizing on a regular basis for damn near a month now."

"Thanks, David. As always, you move me with your well meant sentiments," Gideon replied sarcastically.

"Oh, I'll move you alright…underneath a bus if you manage to piss JJ off anymore in her delicate condition," Dave threatened.

"Oh, please, I've gone up against your woman more than once over the years. There's nothing delicate ABOUT Jennifer Jareau, pregnant or not," Jason snorted, zipping his nylon jacket. "Now, stifle it…I've gotta deal with the Cryptkeeper in order to schedule dinner."

Grabbing his arm to stall his movement, Dave growled, "Hold it, Romeo. What's your angle here, Jason? What are you up to?"

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Isn't that how the old saying goes, Dave?" Gideon said, smiling faintly, pulling away as he eyed his prey in the distance.

"There's one glaring problem with that statement, Jason. Ainsley Lynde is not an enemy," Dave said softly, leaning forward toward Gideon.

"Correction, Dave," Gideon countered, holding up a finger. "She's not your enemy. I haven't decided which category that lady fits into yet. But I intend to find out," Jason replied tersely, walking toward Mabel's desk.

Looking up from her paperback book, a picture of a half-clad long-haired Romeo gracing the colorful cover, Mabel raised a brow. "May I help you?" she queried perfunctorily, eyeing Gideon suspiciously, glancing over for her ever present cane.

"You may," Gideon nodded, forcing a tone of civility into his voice. "Ainsley indicated that I should contact you to schedule her personal appointments as well as her professional commitments, yes?"

"That's correct," Mabel replied, furrowing her white brows as she glared up at the man in front of her.

"Good. I need to schedule two dates with your wonderful employer," Gideon declared jovially.

"Now I know you're off your rocker. Dr. Lynde doesn't date. And certainly not men like you," Mabel snorted, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back in her chair, the springs creaking with the movement.

"Men like me? Would you care to elaborate, Wise One?" Gideon asked conversationally.

"Egotistical, arrogant, infuriating. Heard any of those words before in association with you, Sonny?" Mabel asked, fingering her cane in her blue veined hands.

"Only on a daily basis for the past fifty years or so," Dave muttered under his breath.

"I think we can do without comments from the peanut gallery," Gideon growled over his shoulder.

"Hey," Dave said with a shrug of his broad shoulders, "Just callin' 'em like I see 'em. I'm your honest friend, remember?"

"I wouldn't complain too much," Mabel nodded in agreement. "Can't be easy for a man like you to come by friends real easy. Better keep the ones you've managed to coerce into sharing your company."

"Why, thank you, Mabel for your special brand of therapy," Gideon replied snidely, then drew in a deep breath, remembering he had to be nice to the old bat. "How about we schedule those dinners now?"

"I'm not scheduling anything for you until I check this out with Dr. Lynde. But I will set a tentative date tantamount to Ainsley's approval. Now, where were you thinking of having this dinner?" Mabel asked with a hard look in Gideon's direction.

"There's a new sushi place that opened up downtown. I thought we might…" Gideon began, stopping abruptly as he noted Mabel's pursed lips and shaking head. "What?" he snapped.

"You trying to kill her? Dr. Lynde is severely allergic to shellfish," Mabel retorted, tapping her pen against her appointment book.

"How in the hell could I have known that?" Gideon remarked, running a frustrated hand over the back of his neck as he glared at the old woman. Watching as her fingers clenched dangerously around her metal cane once more, he held up a conciliatory hand. "Okay, okay! How 'bout Morton's Steakhouse? They make a wonderful ribeye that'll melt in your mouth."

"Won't work," Mabel replied tersely, rolling her eyes. "Ainsley avoids red meat like the Black Plague. Heart disease runs in her family. And by the look of you, I'd suggest you avoid it as well. It appears you've put on a few pounds in the last few weeks," Mabel snorted, running her eyes up and down the tall profiler.

"God!" Rossi burst out, trying to remember every detail to share with JJ later. "I love this woman. If I could find you a place at the BAU, would you consider a transfer?" Dave asked through his laughter.

"Gotta a job," Mabel snorted, waving her aged hand over her desk. "It's called protecting Ainsley from letches like this one," she said, jerking her head toward Jason. Gazing up at Jason's distinctive face, Mabel shook her head, grumbling, "If this is on the level, I'll make you a reservation at Scavo's for tomorrow night. They have a vegetarian lasagna that Dr. Lynde adores. Think you can wait that long, Casanova?"

"I'm at your mercy, Mabel," Gideon replied, bowing his head gratefully, willing to play into this evil woman's hands if it meant success in the end.

"Fine," Mabel snorted, narrowing her eyes again. "But, I feel it only fair to warn you, in addition to being Dr. Lynde's patient and receptionist, I'm also her last remaining relative. Her aunt on her mother's side. So if you bring her back with so much as a bellyache, this cane," she threatened, brandishing the metal walking stick in the air, "- is going so far up your…"

Holding up both hands, Jason glared at Rossi as his laughter echoed through the waiting room drawing various stares from its occupants. "Mabel, I come in peace, okay? I will return Dr. Lynde in pristine condition!"

"See that you do, Boy," Mabel growled. "Otherwise, we're going to be putting this cane to a real innovative use."


	57. Chapter 57

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Seven**

Handing an overflowing plastic bowl to the dark-haired man camped out in the recliner, JJ settled in on her corner of the leather couch as she passed another bowl to the other man curled on the other end of the sofa.

"Okay, boys," she said with a sigh, propping her feet up on the heavy wood coffee table, "You have your popcorn. You each have drinks. The brownies are in the oven, and ice cream's in the freezer." Rolling her eyes as she looked from one to the other, she asked, "Are we now happy?"

"Don't look at me, JJ," Reid said quickly, tucking his bowl of cheddar popcorn into the crook of his arm as he grabbed a handful. "I was perfectly content with the chips from earlier."

"And I seem to remember telling you to sit down and put your feet up half an hour ago, babe," Rossi said, narrowing his eyes as he scanned her face, looking for any recognizable signs of fatigue. Finding none, he wriggled his eyebrows as he said, biting back a smile, "You were the one that insisted on the full shebang. I'm beginning to think that someone was having a craving again."

Shrugging, she reached over the arm of the sofa to grab her teacup, drawing a deep sip of the lukewarm chamomile tea as she happily munched on her own snack, the kernels perfectly popped and seasonsed. "It's Spence's first time with us at Little Creek, Dave. I wanted to make it special."

"As glad as I am that Reid could join us for the boxing match, Jen," Dave said, chomping on a handful of extra-butter popcorn, "It was supposed to be a night of relaxation for you. Remember our agreement?"

"Yeah, JJ," Reid piped up, throwing an orangish kernel into the air and expertly catching it in his mouth. "And if you get me in trouble with Rossi, none of us are going to be relaxed, you know. I'm not taking responsibility for you not taking care of yourself or my niece!"

"I'm fine, boys," JJ said firmly, tucking a pillow behind her back as she felt Spencer's niece twirl, a small foot sliding from side to side with a flutter. Patting her stomach, she added, a smile on her lips, "And the little one is fine, too. This is her time of the night to do acrobatics, so I'm sure she's enjoyed the activity. She's a bundle of energy around nine each night, you know."

"That's my daughter," Dave said, grinning over at the mother of his felt-but-not-yet-seen daughter, still amazed that she was sitting here at his home….no, THEIR home….enjoying what he hoped would become a typical family night.

"Yeah, she would take after you in that area, wouldn't she?" JJ said, hiding her own smile as she pressed her hand to her baby bump, lovingly caressing as she thought about how lucky her baby was to have him as a father. And she was going to make this night wonderful for all of them. Spencer had made such great progress over the past week, and she and Dave had settled into sharing a house, so she thought they all deserved a little reward. And anyway, she wanted something salty and something sweet, so popcorn and brownies had been the perfect solution.

"Well, if we're all set," Dave said, grabbing the remote control and aiming it toward the flat screen television taking up most of the side wall in the spacious den, "Then let's focus on the match, shall we?"

As the familiar sights of a boxing ring and crowded arena came into view, JJ whispered to Reid, "I didn't think you went in for this type of stuff, Spence. If you want, we can change the channel and…"

"Speak for yourself, babe," Rossi said, overhearing her words. "I've waited all week for this match and.."

"And there're more TVs in this house," JJ said firmly, smiling sweetly in his direction as she tossed a well-aimed popcorn kernel at his head. "And I'm sure you'd do whatever our guest wanted, isn't that right, sweetheart?"

But before Dave could respond, Reid piped up, waving a hand toward the screen, "Actually, I enjoy boxing. The sport requires great expertise, you know, each combatant training to combat the natural tells of the other. It's a lot like profiling, you know, being able to foresee moves your enemy might make based on his past actions. And the statistical probabilities of the sport are fascinating, especially when you take into account the…."

"Okay, how about we take into account the fact that the match has already started?" Rossi said, rolling his eyes as he upped the volume, the sound of cheers from the crowd around the elevated boxing ring growing louder.

Reaching over the cushion, JJ patted Reid's hand as she said, whispering loudly, "I'm just glad you could join us, Spence. Gideon's date with Ainsley was perfect timing for you to spend the weekend with us at Little Creek."

Nodding, Reid grinned, the thoughts of his pseudo-father on a date with his therapist still one of the crazier things in his world. And that was a lot, he thought idly, considering his world consisted of only the craziest things now. "I appreciate the invitation, JJ. I didn't relish being at your condo if the date didn't go well. Jason does not always express his displeasure in a constructive manner, you know."

As if his words conjured the man himself, three sets of eyes landed on the front door as someone leaned against the bell. And it took only seconds to recognize the familiar tone as Jason's Gideon's curses filtered through the closed door.

Seeing JJ struggling to rise, Dave shook his head. "Stay there, Bella. I'll let the old bastard in," Dave told her gently, pushing away from the recliner as he pressed her shoulder down, refusing to allow her to stand.

Opening the door a few seconds later, his eyes widened in surprise as he took in a flustered Jason Gideon valiantly attempting to wrestle a wine bottle from what appeared to be a very inebriated Ainsley Lynde. And if he wasn't mistaken, the red-headed minx was trying to cop a feel while he did it. "Problems?" Dave asked with a raised brow, wondering how it was that he always managed to be the one to deal with the insanity in their so-called family.

"Don't just stand there, you moron! Help me get her inside," Jason ordered, hissing in his breath as Ainsley's hand landed with familiarity against his crotch. Swatting her hand away, that small action taking more finesse and power than he would have thought, Jason muttered sharply, "Ainsley, I told you in the SUV to quit that!"

"Come on, Jase," Ainsley complained, her lower lip pooching out as she waved the wine bottle closer to his head. "I wanna see how big it is. Studies show that a man's penis size is indirectly related to the size of his ego. I wanna see if the experts got it right," she giggled, the sound carrying over the large porch, through the front door, and right into the foyer.

"Holy Mother!" Gideon yelped as the good doctor's deft fingers attacked the zipper of his fly again. Glaring at the man just staring in amusement at him, he yelped, loudly, "Rossi, a little help over here!"


	58. Chapter 58

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Eight**

Watching as Jason Gideon struggled against the obvious unwanted but apparent amorous attentions of the diminutive beauty in his arms, Dave chuckled. "You could have at least sprung the price of a room for the night, Jason," Dave smirked as Ainsley once again made a less than graceful lunge for Jason's concealed manhood. "I don't exactly think this is on JJ's list of pre-approved family activities for the evening."

"You think this was MY plan?" Jason yelped, capturing one of Ainsley's marauding hands in his, a momentary reprieve from her quest for his family jewels. "The good physician seems to have lost her mind," he said in high pitched yell, sending a pointed glare down at a giggling Ainsley. "Now, help me, damn it, before she manages to depart me from my manhood or I'm arrested for indecent exposure right here on your porch! That's definitely something that I'm fairly positive your woman would frown on!"

Weighing the merits of enjoying the free entertainment against what would definitely be JJ's disapproval at the turn of events, Dave finally took mercy upon the desperate man in front of him. Risking JJ's wrath wasn't in his job description, and he had a feeling that the floor show was far from over anyway. Wrapping one strong hand around Ainsley's arm, he helped Jason drag her inside the foyer, finding that the apparently inebriated woman was not necessarily cooperating with their efforts. "JJ's gonna kill you, man," Dave murmured, shuddering as he heard his significant other's approaching footsteps.

"But I didn't-," Jason began plaintively as JJ's audible gasp was heard by both men above Dr. Lynde's uncontrollable giggles. See, he was right, he told himself with a grin. Act two of this little comedy was about to commence, and he had a front row seat for the fireworks.

"Jason Gideon! What have you done to her?" JJ asked sharply, eyes widening on the red faced, glassy eyed laughing doctor standing in her hallway. Correction. That wasn't just ANY doctor. That was Spencer's doctor standing in her foyer. Drunk.

"Nothing! I did absolutely nothing to this woman!" he replied sharply, dragging a certain reluctant redhead toward Rossi's family room, her feet slipping and sliding against the wooden floor. "It wasn't me!!"

"Can I be there when you tell Mabel that?" Dave choked, watching as Ainsley grabbed Jason's ass, her hands surprisingly agile for her altered condition.

"Feel this, JJ," Ainsley ordered the blonde agent behind her. "Like a rock!" she whistled, wriggling her pale, well-defined eyebrows with the lecherous attentiveness of a Chippendale's aficionado.

"Oh, dear God," JJ whispered, trailing after their two newest visitors, pressing her hands over her stomach as she tried to shield her unborn daughter from this strange turn of events. At that moment, she honestly hoped that everything she had read about fetal development was true, and anything the little girl might hear would be pleasantly dulled by the nice swishing of amniotic fluid. God only knew she didn't need the baby remembering this! She herself had a feeling she would have nightmares about this moment for years to come.

"She's been like this for over an hour," Gideon groaned, reaching around to encase Ainsley's small hand with his own before she could pinch his ass again. Of all the times for a woman to get handsy, this was not the moment!

"Stop it!" Ainsley muttered, trying to pull her hand from his, pinching at his strong fingers. "How come it's okay for men to try to cop a feel but I don't get the same opportunity?" she whined, trying to stomp her heeled foot in protest, but finding that the effort took more brain control than she possessed right then. Honestly, what was going on with her normally well-ordered mind?

"I did not try to cop anything with you!" Gideon yelped, flushing as JJ turned horrified eyes on him again, a censorious reproach in that dark look.

"I know! What's wrong with you anyway?" Turning to look at JJ, Ainsley mock whispered, shaking her head in sadness, "I think he might be a closet homosexual...he's exhibiting all the classic signs."

"Oh, God," Dave said, gasping for air as laughter finally overwhelmed him. Turning to JJ, he begged through the chortles, "Please, babe, tell me my video camera is charged up!"

"I am NOT gay!" Gideon said loudly, turning in the middle of the hallway to glare down at the small woman that seemed determined to steal his sanity. Or his manhood. He wasn't sure which she would succeed with first.

"Coulda fooled me," Ainsley sang, swaying from side to side as she smiled sweetly in his direction. "I think you may be in denial," she said, shrugging lightly as she stumbled against him then, the motion too much for her body to handle. Lifting the wine bottle she held in her free hand to her lips, she took another healthy swig. Smacking her lips, she counseled wisely, "Ya know, it's nothing to be ashamed of...embrace your inner homosexual!"

"Yeah, Jase, embrace it!" Rossi cheered, tears of mirth rolling down his face as JJ shook her head dumbly at the scene in front of her. How had a well-planned night with her family turned into a scene from the Rocky Horror Picture Show? How?

"Could you please do something about him?" Gideon pleaded with JJ, jerking his head in frustration toward his old-time partner and current nemesis. "I hear just a little dab of rat poison does the trick really well," he growled, glaring at Dave. Glowering down at the precocious doctor in front of him, Gid narrowed his eyes as he said, slowly but firmly, "Dr. Lynde, I want you to listen very closely to me, okay?"

"Uh huh," Ainsley said brightly, swigging from her black bottle again. Wow! For just a moment, there were two Jason Gideons giving her orders. Now, which one should she listen to? Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

"I am NOT gay. I'm a perfectly healthy heterosexual male," Gideon stated clearly, enunciating each word as he stared into her dilated eyes.

"Nuh uh...you blushed when I flashed you in the restaurant...and you pulled my shirt down. Not the mark of a healthy hetero...I have nice breasts!" Ainsley declared proudly, gesturing with her wine bottle toward her barely concealed bosom. Twelve years of higher education had taught her that it was always wise to use a visual aid in these situations.

Closing his eyes, Jason prayed for strength...for guidance from some higher power. Unfortunately no form of god was smiling on him. Even the minor deities in those obscure religions seemed to be laughing maniacally at his efforts. And everyone was still there when he opened his eyes. "I am going to take great delight in quoting this entire night back to you at a future date, Dr. Lynde."

"Won't matter!" Ainsley retorted, jerking her bottle protectively to her when Jason made another grab for it. "I'm not goin' out wit you again," she slurred, stating the fact with great pomp and circumstance.. "You, sir, are a PRUDE!"

"No," Gideon growled in return, wondering for a moment why he was having an argument with an obviously intoxicated person. "I'm a gentleman. And you're wasted!"

"Am not!" Ainsley shook her head.

"Are, too!" Gideon retorted grumpily.

"Aaaammmm noooottttt," Ainsley argued, waving her wine bottle at him.

Clapping her hands loudly, JJ suggested strongly as all eyes turned in her direction, "I think we should agree that you two disagree on the point." Turning to look at her laughing lover, she added, darkly, "And if you'll quit doing your imitation of a hyena, I think we need to move this little tete a tete somewhere closer to a couch before Ainsley ends up sleeping on our floor. Now."


	59. Chapter 59

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Fifty-Nine**

Turning her head at the sudden noise, Ainsley's dilated eyes widened as she sang out, smiling widely, "JJ! When did you get here?"

"I've been here all along, Ainsley," JJ said with a sigh, glaring at Jason Gideon as she added, darkly, "Which you would have remembered if someone hadn't gotten you stoned."

"Again, not my fault!" Gideon exclaimed, ducking as Ainsley rounded his way, the wine bottle waving erratically in his direction. It would be just his luck to have survived serial killers, explosions, and psychotic breakdowns to only be taken out by a hundred pound woman wielding a bottle of vino.

"I think we'll be discussing that fact for a long time to come," JJ answered, grabbing the swaying doctor's arm as she leaned in her direction. Feeling the woman slide slightly, she tightened her grip as she looked at her soon-to-be husband. "And right now, I think we need to get Ainsley tucked into a nice, comfortable chair. Before she ends up spending the night in the foyer."

"I've got her, babe," Rossi said with a nod, sliding between JJ and the exuberant woman, gently pushing his pregnant love out of the line of fire. Jerking his head toward a flustered Gideon, he ordered, "Don't just stand there, dumbass. Grab her other arm."

"Do I hafta?" Gideon whined, taking a step back automatically, remembering the evils of the fruit of that particular vine. But at JJ's glare, he reluctantly wrapped his arm around the laughing doctor's thin arm, helping to lead her into the bright den.

His eyes widening almost comically as he saw his normally staid therapist in less than stellar condition, Spencer Reid jerked up off the couch as he squeaked, pointing, "What happened to Dr. Lynde?"

"She's a little under the weather, Spence," JJ answered vaguely, trying not to wince as the giggling doctor made another grab for Jason's prized possessions, apparently intending to dive below the belt once again.

Cocking his head, Spencer reviewed the situation, his thoughts moving rapidly as he said, slowly, "It appears to me that she's a more under the influence, JJ." Hearing his doctor suddenly break out into a tone-deaf version of "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me" as she dropped sideways onto the recently vacated couch, he added, shock filling his words, "I correct that. She's wasted!"

"I am not!" Ainsley giggled, shaking her head, hair flying in every direction as she tried to peer up at her patient. "I'm perfectly coherent. Ask me anything," she invited with a wave of her bottle.

"No!" Gideon said quickly, stepping in between Ainsley and Spencer, blocking her line of sight. "Don't! I already tried it, Son. Whatever you ask her, she just turns it into another explanation on why she's convinced I'm gay!" Gideon accused, turning to glare at Ainsley's flushed face.

Rolling her wide eyes, Ainsley sighed, wondering when this man would release those notions of denial. "Fine, Jason, if you say that you're not gay..."

"I'm not just saying it, you little terrorist," Gideon growled, leaning over to stare down into her bright dilated green eyes, "I'm straight! As a board!"

"Fine," Ainsley said with a conciliatory nod, breathing heavily in his face. Leaning around him, she looked at JJ. "Perhaps, my first analysis of him was incorrect. I rarely make a mis-diagnosis," she shrugged, swallowing as the motion seemed to once again send those beautiful waves through the air, "but, in this case I think I've mistaken homosexual closetivity for severe sexual repression."

"What?!" Gideon yelped, jerking upright as he stared down at the diminutive beauty currently taking a thoughtful sip from her black bottle, her lips needing three tries to wrap around the spout.

"Just a possible diagnosis based on observations," Ainsley said primly in his direction as she sprawled back against the soft leather. Bouncing her foot against the edge of the sofa, she declared, loudly, "It is my professional opinion that you, sir, are a prude!"

"I think now might be a good time to start the coffee, Dave," JJ muttered under her breath as the situation around them disintegrated even further. Again, she could only wonder in amazement and despair how her perfect family night had disintegrated into an episode of I Love Lucy!

"Oh, come on, JJ," Dave chuckled, pulling her back against him as he watched the sparring match in front of him. Rubbing a soft hand against her baby bump, he continued, "And miss the fun? We couldn't find something this good even on Pay Per View!"

Hearing the last part of his sentence, Ainsley jumped on those words as she gestured with her wine bottle once again. "A view! That's what I gave him! A perfect view! And what did he do? He pulled my shirt down without even looking!" Shaking her head sadly as she drew another sip of wine, she said, "That's repression. I should know. I'm a cer-tee-fied professional, you know."

"You're certifiable is what you are," Gideon growled, making a grab for the bottle as it came in his direction once again, letting out a war whoop when he actually caught it this time. "And I'll have you know that the only reason I wasn't looking at what's underneath your shirt was because the rest of the restaurant was too busy doing it for me!"

"That's how she got the second bottle, you know," Gideon said, glancing over his shoulder at their assembled audience, finding that he probably needed to explain the rest of the story before JJ had Dave shoot him on sight. Oh hell, what was he thinking? She wouldn't contract out the hit. If he remembered correctly, the young blonde agent was a fantastic shot in her own right. She'd do the job herself and probably take great pleasure in emptying her clip right into him. "The poor excuse for a wine steward dropped it right into her greedy little hands! Then, as a gift for the entertainment she provided, i.e. the free strip show, the damn maitre'd made sure it was gratis!"

"Yeah, well, you had a second opportunity in the car, Mr. Repression!" Ainsley argued, kicking him hard with her stiletto heel. "Explain that!" Yanking Gideon down beside her on the couch as he stumbled slightly, she faced Reid, JJ and an extremely thrilled Dave across the room. "I tried to give this man the gift that keeps on giving on the way here and he pulled the car over and shoved me in the back seat!"

"YOU tried to cop a feel on the I-60 in the middle of one of the worst traffic snarls I've ever seen. AND, yet again, you were givin' that semi driver right beside us a sight he'll never forget!" Gideon declared defensively, swatting away her hands as she once again let her fingers do the walking down his body.

"You know, if you were a little more overt about your sexuality, we wouldn't be having this discussion and YOU would be far from the uptight man you are right now," Ainsley shrugged, smacking back at his fingers as they hit hers. "Are you worried about size, Jason? I hear it's a common concern for men of your age," Ainsley asked archly, tilting her head.

"Men of my age?" Jason barked, pulling his shoulders back as he protested the disparagement of his manhood. "I'm in my prime, I'll have you know! And my size is more than adequate, I assure you."

"Prove it," Ainsley snorted, dropping her hand to his belt buckle as she started to slip the leather through the metal. "Whip it out!"

"Oh, this just gets better and better," Dave laughed out loud, gaping at the sight in front of him, grabbing his popcorn from the table and crunching happily.


	60. Chapter 60

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty**

Yanking the popcorn out of Dave's hands, JJ dropped the bowl back onto the side table with a resounding thud as she hissed under her breath, "That is not helping, David Rossi! Ainsley needs coffee, and lots of it! We've got to counteract that alcohol before it gets any worse!"

"Actually, JJ," Reid said slowly, having studied the situation with a clinical eye, one arm tucked under the other, "I'm not quite sure that alcohol is all that we're dealing with."

Jerking his head in the direction of his adopted son, Gideon demanded, groaning, "What do you mean, not just alcohol! I swear to God the woman's only had wine since I've been with her! And if I'd known she was a closet louse, I'd a never.."

"I'm not a drunk!' Ainsley asserted loudly, trying to straighten up on the couch as she looked affronted. Or as close to affronted as she could be in her current situation, her hair bouncing wildly around her shoulders as she tried to make sense of the wild thoughts in her head. "I only drink a glass or two of wine once a week!"

Waving the bottle for emphasis, Gideon glared in her direction as he said, sarcastically, "Yeah, and I guess you changed that to a BOTTLE or two just for tonight? Damn it, Ainsley…."

"I think if we reviewed the situation, we'd find that Dr. Lynde is expressing many symptoms that are not totally related to excessive alcohol consumption," Reid interrupted again, shaking his head at the antics of the pair in front of him, wondering again if he was going to need therapy for his therapist. "There's something else at play here."

Turning to glare at his almost son, Gideon shook his head as he declared, "What's at play is this woman's determination to send me to an early grave!" Barely ducking in time, he missed the small pillow that the inebriated woman lobbed toward his head.

Grabbing JJ's sleeve, Reid shook his head as he said, urgently, "I've seen this behavior before, JJ. I have a feeling Dr. Lynde is experiencing an itinerant psychotic episode."

"But from everything we know about Ainsely, she's never had problems before," JJ whispered back, cutting her eyes worriedly from her almost-brother to his therapist, wondering if she had made a colossal mistake in allowing this seemingly normal woman near her fragile friend. Peering over her shoulder, she met Dave's eyes as she muttered, "Dave? What do you think?

""Keep talking, kid," Rossi prompted, nudging Reid as he watched Gideon continue to evade the overt advances of the brilliant doctor. "I had her checked out completely, and nothing showed up about any form of dependency, addiction, or possible mental health issues."

"A normally functioning female does not experience such an altering episode without some form of trigger, and I don't think that alcohol would have been enough of a trigger to result in these reactions," Reid assessed quietly. "If I didn't think I knew better, I'd swear that Dr. Lynde had mixed her medications. But surely she's smart enough to know otherwise."

"There's one way to find out," Dave replied, squeezing JJ's arm as he slipped by them, grabbing Ainsley's dropped purse from the floor, and dumping the contents on the empty recliner.

"Hey!" Ainsley yelled loudly, her eyes diverted from her game of grabby hands to the sudden removal of her private property. Diving for her purse, she landed halfway off the couch as she insisted, clumsily, "That's unlawful search and seizure! What type of police state am I living in?"

Wrapping his arms around the young woman on the floor, Gideon sighed as he pulled her from her unladylike sprawl on the floor into his lap. "Sit still," he demanded as she struggled in his lap, tightening his arms around her tiny waist. "Haven't you ever heard possession is nine-tenths the law?" he growled against her ear. "Well, right now, they're in possession of that boulder you call a purse."

Rifling through the spilled contents along with Rossi, Spencer's eyes narrowed on a familiar orange bottle. "Aha!" he declared victoriously, grabbing the prescription. "I think we may have found an explanation," he said, reading the label.

Abruptly jumping from Jason's lap, Ainsley lunged for the bottle Reid held aloft in his hand, her fingers clutching in the air. "Now give me that back! That's my medicine!"

Hauling her back against his chest, Gideon shook his head. "She's been like this all night. Goes from agitated to amorous in seconds." Pulling her back down in his lap, Gideon growled as he made a grab to divert the wine bottle Ainsley was lifting to her mouth, "What the hell is that anyway, Spence?"

"Wait! Before we go any further," JJ said, holding up a hand as she watched Jason again struggle for possession of the dark bottle in Ainsley's tiny hand, "How did she even get that bottle out of the restaurant?"

Trying to pry the death grip the little woman in his lap had around the black bottle, Gideon bit out, "I had to use it as a bribe to get her out the fucking door! The other patrons were starting to stare when she stood on top of her chair and attempted to recite the pledge of allegiance at the top of her lungs."

"Did she eat anything at all?" Reid asked, his blonde brows furrowing as he peered at Jason over the top of the orange bottle.

"Nothing yet," Gideon groaned, feeling a sharp elbow hit his ribs. "We'd only just ordered when the wine steward dropped off the first bottle of Amarone!"

"Amarone," Ainsley sighed happily, smiling drunkenly. "Nectar of the gods," she continued, turning her head to plant a kiss against Gideon's cheek.

Shifting the tiny woman in his arms, Gideon mentally groaned as he felt his heart soften. The woman was an undeniable beauty. Talented and smart, too. Everything a man could want in a lady...and absolutely nothing he deserved. What the hell had he been hoping to accomplish tonight anyway?

Watching as Ainsley leaned her forehead against Jason's neck, JJ moved toward her, bending to look into the woman's dilated eyes. Softly, she asked, "Ainsley? Can you tell me what's happening right now?"

"Don't know," she sighed, snuggling against the toasty man holding her. "Not sure anymore."

"What's the last thing you remember, kiddo?" Dave asked, trying not to grin as he watched Jason unconsciously tighten his arm around the tiny woman he held.

"I drank wine," she chirped, holding up two wobbly fingers. "Two whole glasses."

"More like two whole bottles," Jason murmured against her temple.

"It was good," Ainsley declared dreamily, leaning back into his touch as she felt her body start to relax.

"Why did you let her have two glasses of wine on an empty stomach?" JJ accused, leveling Jason with a direct glare as she dropped down onto the sturdy coffee table.

"First, I'm not the alcohol police. Second, I didn't know her stomach WAS empty," Jason retorted defensively. "She's a grown woman, JJ."

"Look, Jason, I knew you had reservations about Ainsley being Spencer's therapist, but sabotaging her like this..."

Holding the happily humming doctor against his chest protectively, Gideon shook his head. "I didn't do anything, JJ. If I'd wanted to humiliate her, we'd have stayed at the damn restaurant. I'm trying to keep her safe, damn it!"

"I don't think this is something as basic as simple inebriation," Spence murmured, looking from the pill bottle in his hand to his doctor. "Something else is going on, too."

"What the hell is that, Spence?" Gideon growled again, turning his attention back to the newest piece of evidence.

"Something called Sarafem," Spence murmured, narrowing his eyes on the bottle as he shook his long locks. "I'm not familiar with it."

"Hey!" Ainsley yelped, lifting her head from Jason's shoulder as she came back to the present again, realizing with a shock that her young patient was holding her personal items. "That's mine!"

"We know, Ains," JJ murmured, patting the other woman's arm comfortingly, squeezing her cold fingers. "How long have you been taking it? And what do you use it for?"

Dropping her head back to Jason's neck, Ainsley snuggled against the warm man. "Lady problems," she slurred, her body dropping off again.. "Started this week. Couldn't handle the pain anymore," she murmured.

"Pain?" Gideon asked, bending his head to look at Ainsley. Eyes closed now, he felt her weight growing heavier against him. Jiggling her slightly, Gideon asked gruffly, "Why the hell are you in pain, Red?" Looking up at Spence, Gideon ordered sharply, "Get on that phone and find out what the hell kind of pain that drug is for!"

"Already dialing Garcia," Spence murmured as he pressed Rossi's cell phone closer to his ear.


	61. Chapter 61

**Author's Note: Please let us know what you think!**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-One**

An hour later, Reid looked up in anticipation as JJ stepped back into the den, followed by Jason Gideon. "Well?" he asked, eyes flashing from person to person as he straightened up from his corner of the couch. "What happened? Is Dr. Lynde finally sleeping?"

"Thankfully, yes." Patting Reid's shoulder as she passed by, JJ scooted around the couch to Dave's recliner, gratefully settling into his outstretched arms. Leaning back against his strong chest, she felt his hands settle on her baby bump as she met Spence's worried eyes. Smiling kindly, she added, "She'll be okay, Spence. The meds have to work their way out of her system."

"I know, that's what Garcia told us when she told us about the Sarafem," Reid replied, leaning forward to wrap his hands around his knees. Glancing around the small room, he met his almost-father's tired eyes as he asked, worried, "Gideon, how could she have gotten this badly so quickly?"

"Son, every person's body chemistry is completely different, and Ainsley's went haywire," Gideon answered, leaning back against the sofa pillows in tired relief, stretching his legs out to rest on the edge of the ottoman. "According to what she told JJ, when we could get her awake, she's only been taking those pills for a few days, so she had no idea of this side effect."

Rossi spoke up then, settling JJ closer to him as he said, "And apparently this is one of those rare side effects, not something that any doctor would have thought to warn her about. " Chuckling, he added, grinning widely at his old friend, "You just seem to bring out the worst in that woman, Gid."

"Gee, thanks, old man," Gideon shot back, glaring across the room. Hearing Rossi's sharp groan as JJ's elbow found a home in his ribcage, his glare turned to a grin."Have I mentioned how good it feels to finally see you with a woman that can hold her own with you?"

Settling his arms back around JJ, Dave raised a dark brow. "It would seem that Dr. Lynde is more than capable of bringing you to heel as well, my friend."

Shifting uncomfortably against the softened leather, Gideon mumbled as he stared up at the planked ceiling, "She's definitely well versed in keeping a man on his toes."

Shaking his head blankly, Reid stood, pulling his loose cardigan tighter around his thin shoulders. "And on that note, I think I'll call it an evening."

"Spence, everything you'll need is in the guest bed and bath," JJ called out, her eyes watching the young man closely. Frowning, she pulled up against Rossi's strong arms as she asked, concerned, "You sure you don't want me to come and get you set up? I'll be glad to…"

Smiling bemusedly at the woman that had become his older sister, Reid cocked his head as he stuffed a hand in the pocket of his drooping sweater. "I think I've come along far enough now to figure out new surroundings by myself, JJ. And anyways, I'm afraid Agent Rossi might bodily tackle you and me both to the ground if you make a move he doesn't approve of."

"Listen to the kid, Jen," Rossi rumbled in her ear, pulling her back against his chest, easily recognizing the signs of fatigue that had settled around her eyes. "He's a smart man."

Mentally filing away that compliment for future reference, Reid paused at the door, his eyes widening momentarily as he said, "Remember what Garcia said, Jason. Somebody needs to wake Dr. Lynde every hour and make sure she can answer simple questions."

Nodding, his head bouncing against the top of the sofa, Gideon replied, "I'll take care of it, son. Go get some rest." Waiting until he heard Reid's footsteps against the wooden planks of the stairs, Gideon growled, "Now, we've got another problem, folks."

"Oh, God," JJ groaned, tucking her head against Rossi's warm shoulder, "What else have you done, Gideon?"

"I didn't do anything, but somebody is going to have to call that crazy receptionist of Ainsley's and let her know that she's staying here tonight. And, trust me, it would be better if that person wasn't me."

"Coward," Dave chuckled aloud, his grin growing as he remembered the bulldog that guarded the good doctor's door and datebook. "Never thought I'd see the day that Jason Gideon was scared of a geriatric little woman."

"In case you missed it, that little old lady swings a mean ass cane," Gideon retorted, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest as his shoulder reminded him of the ability of the woman to hit her mark. Swinging his eyes to JJ, he said softly, cajoling, "I thought it might be better if the sweet, expectant mother filled her in on this turn of events."

"Me?" JJ yelped, sitting up straight again as she balanced against Dave's legs. "Why me? YOU'RE the one that got us all into this mess!"

"Listen, JJ, if I call that woman, I can guarantee that woman will sprout wings and fly over here to rescue Sleeping Beauty in there," he said determinedly, jerking his head toward the direction of Ainsley's room. "And I think we can safely agree that neither of us want for her to suffer any more than she already has tonight."

"Didn't seem that she was suffering too much to me earlier," Rossi laughed, blocking JJ's elbow shot to his ribs with a well-placed hand.

"No, but she'll suffer in the morning when she remembers exactly what this night entailed," JJ murmured with a dirty look over her shoulder, pinching the man's leg forcefully. "She's going to be humiliated. And Jason's right, there's no need for it to get worse before it's absolutely necessary." Looking at Gideon, she asked, resigned, "You've got the number?"

Pulling Ainsley's card from his pocket, Jason passed it over to her with a relieved sigh. "How are you going to play this?"

Rolling her eyes, JJ said with a fake smile, "You and Ainsley came over for a nightcap and the odious stomach flu attacked. You've already gone home and left her under my very devoted attention."

"Damn, she's good," Jason said to Rossi, giving JJ an admiring glance.

"She's also very taken," Dave reminded him evenly, dropping a heavy hand to JJ's neck, easing her back against him as he kept a careful eye on his one-time partner.

"Very, very taken," JJ agreed happily, turning to press a kiss to Dave's lips as she scooted out of the recliner, patting his hand. "And also very, very tired. I'm going to make this call and head to bed. You coming?"

"Right behind you," Dave nodded, watching JJ waddle from the room, her hand pressed against her lower back. Turning toward Gideon as she cleared the doorway, he cocked one brow as he stood up, the recliner bouncing slightly behind him. "You sure you'll be okay on nursemaid duty tonight? I mean, by the look of it, your doctor can be very attentive," Dave teased, smiling outright at the man's rumpled condition.

"Go near her and I'll have to kill you. Then I'll deliver your half-dead carcass to JJ," Gideon retorted immediately, his eyes delivering a backup to the spoken message.

"That's what I thought," Dave said gleefully, rubbing his hands together before he reached over to flip off the side lamp, casting that corner of the room into shadows.

"What?!" Jason snapped, glaring at the other man as he pushed up off the couch..

"Jason's gotta crush," Dave sang softly, moving toward the wide open doorway.

"Don't you have your own woman to tend to?" Gideon asked grumpily, waving a loose hand in the quiet air.

"That I do," Dave nodded as he turned to look toward the hallway, his eyes following JJ's movements up the stairs. "A word of advice, Jase. Take a chance. When you find the right woman, there's nothing like this feeling."

"God, you're getting sentimental in your advanced years," Jason muttered, disgusted, even as a part of him heard and accepted Dave's wise words.

"See you in the morning, Jason," Dave chuckled, eagerly following JJ up the stairs and toward their waiting bedroom.


	62. Chapter 62

**Author's Note: Drop a line and let us know what you think! Thanks for reading!! We love to hear from you.**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-Two**

Closing the heavy planked door behind him, Spencer Reid sighed appreciatively as he stared at the comfortable bed situated next to the dark windows. His overnight bag rested on the small bench next to the iron footboard, everything he would need for the night carefully placed in precise order inside that weathered leather. He should know. He packed it himself.

Not that he would have needed it, he thought wryly, knowing that JJ would have eagerly provided anything and everything necessary to make his stay as comfortable as possible. Crossing the room, he was careful to walk on the heavy runner, wanting his footsteps muffled. He had learned from previous visits to Rossi's cabin-cum-mansion that many of the floorboards creaked. And the last thing he wanted to do was create any noise to draw attention to himself. After the night they'd had, he needed time alone.

Time to process. Time to understand. Time to figure out exactly what had happened to his once normally sane family.

Short minutes later, his evening ablutions completed and the overhead light turned off, he carefully turned down one corner of the ancient quilt. An involuntary smile crossed his face as he noticed the light blue flannel sheets, their worn softness sliding against the palm of his hand as they glimmered in the moonlight. Once, and only once, he had mentioned offhand to JJ that he preferred the comfort of that very fabric over any other material. And when he had taken up residence in her condo, he had been surprised, but pleased, to find the linen closet stocked with just such sheets. So he really shouldn't be shocked to find them here, he told himself, easing into the warmth they created as he dropped his head to the oversized pillow.

But he was. It still amazed him, on a deep, personal level, that someone cared enough for him to go to such lengths to meet such a small want. It couldn't even be classified as a need, definitely not rating top mention on Maslov's hierarchy. But regardless of such a fact, JJ had remembered.

It was something family did. And they were his family now.

They had always been his family, he admitted to himself as he settled his head more comfortably against the fluffy pillow. Somewhere in his confused, jumbled mind, he'd forgotten that for an instant. And, in that forgetfulness, he'd hurt them all. He could see that clearly now. It was in JJ's worried eyes every time she thought he wasn't paying attention to her. It was in the way Rossi's dark gaze steadily watched him, ever ready to prevent him from stepping back into the abyss. It was there in the way Gideon's presence constantly lingered...his surrogate father desperately determined that he should never feel abandoned again. And that was just the primary circle around him. The whole team had suffered because of him.

Sighing to himself as he slowly relaxed underneath the comfortable covers, he knew he couldn't undo the damage he'd created. His therapy with Dr. Lynde had shown him that. The act had been committed, forever burned into each person's memory. But he could make amends. And Dr. Lynde was right; the best way he could do that was to become healthy. And she'd convinced him that he had the strength within him to do it. Not for any of them...his family...but for himself.

He had to respect himself in order for them to find peace. And each day, he found a little more to like about himself...a little more to be proud of. Because, after all, he was amazing. He'd survived. Despite the odds, he'd managed to survive even though every statistic and well-accepted theory said he shouldn't. And that was a feat in and of itself. As Ainsley had said, his family might have given him the tools, but he'd done the work. And he could be proud of that.

Smiling faintly as he thought of the determined, petite doctor, Reid shook his head, his hair rumpling against the flannel pillowcase. His insistent doctor hadn't let him take the coward's way out, hiding inside his mind and retreating into his well-developed shell. She'd demanded that he face his demons...his ghosts. And she'd stood beside him every step of the way. Not protecting him...in her opinion, he had enough protectors. No, she took a different approach. She supported him. Not as a crutch, but as an impartial party that could recognize not only his fallacies, but his redeeming characteristics as well.

Dr. Lynde had been good for him...to him. And not just him, either, Reid thought with a silent chuckle as he toed off his socks, the bed warming him up quickly. She'd brought changes to Jason as well. Positive changes. And he was almost as grateful to her for that as he was for the assistance she'd given him. Because Gideon looked alive again. He looked almost happy again. He knew his progress leant to that...but he suspected that Dr. Ainsley Lynde had left a lasting impression on more than just him, albeit in a less romantically inclined way. No, there was a spark between his therapist and his pseudo father that even he could see. And, if he could see it, then it was obvious to everyone, except maybe the two people it affected the most. Tonight had merely cemented that thought in his mind, proving unshakably that the attraction was present. Although, he thought for a moment as he felt himself grinning in the darkness, Dr. Lynde might have a few regrets when the sun shone on her once again. But that was another thought for another day.

Giving into the yawn that was escaping from his throat, Reid turned in the bed, closing his eyes to block out the shards of moonlight. He knew his road to recovery still remained long and winding. He suffered no delusions about it. There'd still be missteps and setbacks. He was, after all, a genius, with genius ability to create colossal mistakes. But he no long questioned whether he'd make it to the end of the journey. He would. Because too much waited at the finishing line for him to stop walking his path.

He had a family again. And they were waiting for him.


	63. Chapter 63

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-Three**

Sitting at the breakfast nook in the sunlit kitchen, his elbows resting on the polished counter, Reid asked, again, "Are you sure I can't help, JJ? I feel kind of useless just sitting here letting you wait on me."

Smiling over her shoulder as she reached for the newly popped toast, JJ shook her blonde head as she dropped two perfectly browned slices on the heated plate. "I told you, Spence, I love making breakfast. So indulge me, okay, and just enjoy it."

"Listen to her, kid," Rossi advised wisely with a chuckle, rattling the morning paper as he flipped another page, dropping an advertising section to the large oak kitchen table. "In the week Jen and I have lived together, I've learned that stepping one toe into her kitchen when she's cooking is grounds for murder. Mine."

"I'm not that bad, Dave," JJ objected immediately, sliding a full plate in front of Reid, motioning for him to carry it to the table. Propping her hands on her now-ample hips, she complained good-naturedly, "You're going to make Spence think I'm an ogre."

"I could never think such a thing, JJ," Reid replied loyally, carefully placing his overflowing plate on a woven placemat as he dropped into the cane-seated chair across from Rossi.

"See, Dave?" JJ called out victoriously, sliding more bread into the four bay toaster with a click, "Spence knows how to take a hint and not aggravate the cook. You'd hate for your eggs to burn again, wouldn't you?"

"Thanks a lot, kid," the older profiler muttered over the top of his paper, his eyes narrowing at his houseguest. "Now she's gonna scorch 'em on purpose again, and I'll have to eat them or risk making her cry."

"I heard that, Dave!" JJ called out, cracking two extra-large eggs into a sizzling skillet. "Just for that, you get to scrub the skillet when I'm done. Spence, why don't you go wake up Jason and Ainsley?"

Dropping the paper to the counter with a flutter, Dave grabbed Spencer's arm as the young man arose obediently to do JJ's bidding. Pushing him back down into the chair, Rossi declared, "Nothing doing! You wouldn't let me get pictures last night, Jen. There's no way you're depriving me of the morning wake-up call!"

"David Rossi!" JJ groaned, dropping a hand to her hip as she expertly scrambled the bubbling eggs. "I almost never got that digital camera out of your hand last night. If you think..."

"Pleeeeaaasse!" Dave whined, his voice not unlike Aaron Hotchner's son's best plea. "I've been waiting thirty years to see Jason Gideon meet his match, Jen. You wouldn't take that away from me now, would you?"

"It isn't Jason that I'm worried about," JJ snorted, turning off the stove with a flick of her wrist as she walked to stand in front of Dave. Cocking her head, she reminded him easily, "As I recall, you didn't appreciate it when I was leading you a merry chase, now did you?"

"Ah, but it made catching you so much sweeter," Dave murmured, bending to slowly capture her lips with hers for a slow thorough kiss.

"Ughhh," Spence shuddered as he watched in dismay as Rossi's hands managed to drop lower and lower on JJ's body. "Public displays of affection have been proven to make others uncomfortable, you know?"

"Kid, in case you missed it, you're sitting in the middle of our kitchen," Dave grumbled as JJ broke the kiss, her cheeks heated in a becoming blush as she dropped her gaze for a moment. "Not exactly standing on the Capitols' steps here."

"But yet," Spencer said, shifting uncomfortably in the wooden chair, his pale eyes widening, "you are standing in front of an impressionable guest."

"Forget it, Kid. You ceased being a guest a few miles back. You're family...and family had to watch me kiss the woman that refuses to be my wife."

"Don't start," JJ growled, pinching his arm as she shook her head warningly.

"Refuses to be your...but, why?" Spence asked, eyes widening at this newest revelation. Surely he hadn't missed that much while he was in therapy, had he? "I was under the impression that you loved Agent Rossi, JJ," Spence frowned toward the woman he considered to be closer than a sister.

"Yeahhhh," Dave drawled with a slow grin as he looked at a discomfited JJ, the sunlight bouncing off of her shiny hair. "Me, too, Reid. What do you make of it?"

Smacking Dave's arm, JJ ordered sternly, "Don't take that bait, Spence! He's just looking for an ally for his nefarious plans. Just say no."

"He isn't offering me a narcotic, Jayje," Spence snorted, looking from the girl as close to him as any sibling could be to the man that obviously loved her. Propping his bony elbows on the wooden table, he switched his gaze back to the older man. "And, I'm interested. You've proposed, Agent Rossi?"

"I have," Dave said earnestly, warming to the subject...and the possibility of gaining Spencer Reid's assistance. If anyone could break through JJ's barriers, it just might be the younger man. "Multiple times. Many, many multiple times."

"Being redundant doesn't lend to strength of your argument, Agent Rossi," Reid declared absently, his mind slipping in multiple directions as he started to process these pieces of information.

"Exactly whose side are you on?" Dave asked with a hard look at the young man currently sitting at his kitchen table.

"He's on mine," JJ declared tartly, smacking Dave's arm again as she shifted slightly, dropping a hand to her swollen stomach as her daughter chose that moment to perfect her water acrobatic skills.

"That remains to be seen, JJ," Reid said, shaking his shaggy head as he trained his intelligent eyes on his almost sister. "Why exactly are you denying Agent Rossi's proposal?"

"I'm not denying him," JJ said with a roll of her light blue eyes, tightening her lips as she realized she was suddenly outnumbered. "I just haven't made my decision yet," she mumbled, flustered.

"She's hedging her bets," Dave chuckled, squeezing JJ's hips as his eyes twinkled.

"I am not!" JJ retorted, pushing futilely at his strong grip. "But you aren't exactly a proven success in the matrimonial department, Rossi."

"Ah," Reid drawled, biting into a crunchy piece of toast. "Now we're evolving toward the heart of the matter," he nodded, chewing thoughtfully at the surprisingly tasty morsel, a dab of butter catching on his lip. "Fear of failure...your's, Agent Rossi."

"Hey! In my defense, those divorces weren't all my fault," the older profiler growled, wondering how the conversation had switched gears so suddenly. Wasn't the good doctor supposed to be on his side. "And none of those women were due to give imminent birth," Dave said, strengthening his argument as he dropped his gaze to JJ's prominent belly. "Sorta like my kid to have my name over here, Reid."

"She's going to have your name, David," JJ sighed, leaning against Dave's shoulder for a moment as she squinted against a bright ray of yellow sunlight peeking through the paned glass windows.

"But her mother won't," Dave muttered, shifting them both out of the invading brightness. "Not confusing for a kid at all."

"Well, I had my father's name and we all see how well that turned out," Reid said evenly, recognizing the fallacy in the expert profiler's argument.

"Not exactly aiding my case over there, kid," Dave warned, sighing as he saw JJ nod her agreement toward Reid.

Looking toward JJ quickly, Reid added encouragingly, straightening his shoulders, "But your daughter's father is choosing her. He didn't have to, you know. He's purposely chosen to include her in his life...because she's wanted. That ought to mean something JJ. It ought to mean a lot."

"And it does," JJ murmured, meeting Dave's gaze with soft eyes, patting his whiskered cheek as she Reid's comments sink in. Knowing that Spencer had willingly revealed a closely-held area of his life to help her gave her even more hope for his continued recovery. "And if it helps, I'm leaning toward an affirmative answer," she whispered with a wavering smile, flashing a side glance toward the younger man also.

"Lean a little further, a little faster, Bella. We're running out of time," he reminded her, patting her swollen belly and earning a kick against his palm. "She'll be here before we know it."

Not bothering to hide his smile as he watched the couple exchange a long, silent gaze, Reid felt another weight lift from his shoulder as he slipped the delicious eggs into his mouth. Something was changing, he thought to himself, half-satisfied and half-intrigued. He had helped someone else with his words, rather than causing them pain from his actions. No, he thought to himself with a mental nod, he had helped his family.

Seeing her finally nod, Dave winked at JJ then, trying to alleviate the shadows in her eyes. "And in the meantime," he said, rubbing his hands together as he included Reid in his wide, mischievous smile, "I have a wake-up call to orchestrate."


	64. Chapter 64

**_Author's Note: Well, guys, I need some plot ideas on this one. Do you like where it seems to be heading? We love hearing from you so, please, let us know your thoughts. Just remember, no flames, please. _**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-Four**

Her eyes opening slowly against the shining sun seeping through the blinds, Dr. Ainsley Lynde groaned as she found herself staring blearily into the dark eyes of Jason Gideon. If there was any god in any heaven at that moment, surely he or she would not be so vile as to punish her with this man's presence for one second longer. Surely.

But apparently, her pleas were not to be answered, the deities choosing to ignore her simple request. His formidable presence remained firmly in place, book in hand, his chair pulled right next to the edge of whatever bed she currently found herself in.

Snatches of the previous evening played confusedly in her mind, jumbling in slow motion. Swallowing hard as she dropped back, she muttered, the words scratchy, "Where am I?"

"Rossi's cabin," Jason answered calmly, pulling his glasses off and dropping them on the aged wooden nightstand.

"Why?" Ainsley croaked, pulling the covers tighter around her, her bare legs rubbing against the soft sheets. Her eyes widened suddenly as she dropped a hand under the sheet, feeling the cotton nightgown that she just knew wasn't hers. Jerking her head toward him, she demanded, even the sound of her own voice hurting her already aching head, "And you better tell me that you had nothing to do with me being in clothing other than my own!"

"Your virtue's safe, woman," Jason grumbled, a smile playing on his lips as he added, unable to resist, "Although I never would have taken you for the type to choose such a becoming shade of violet for your unmentionables. And while your virtue is intact, mine had taken a crushing blow. Several crushing blows, as a matter of fact."

"How do you know what color my...what do you mean _your_ virtue?" Ainsley asked warily, flushing a deep scarlet as erotic visions teased the corners of her conscious mind. Licking her lips, she heard Gideon groan beside her.

"For the love of God, don't do that," he hissed raggedly, his body tightening as he watched her damp full red lips glisten, memories of the previous night coloring his mind.

"What?" Ainsley asked quickly, jerking her eyes up to his as her breath hitched in her throat. "What did I do last night, Jason?" she asked faintly, praying those dreams that had teased her all night had been just that...dreams. But something inside told her that wasn't the case, especially considering the pillow beside hers had obviously been used the night before. And even if she ignored those voices, the look on his face was all the answer she needed. Those weren't dreams she'd had. Those were memories she was recalling.

Seeing the horrified look creeping over her face, Gideon watched her blushing cheeks quickly begin to pale. Holding up a hand, he murmured, "Now it isn't that bad, Ainsley. You might have tried to play a bad-assed game of grab ass in the night, but..."

"I woke you up by attempting to go down on you," Ainsley said faintly, her heart dropping and eyes wide as she remembered kneeling between his legs on the bed. "You were sleeping and..."

"You don't need to give me a blow by blow..." Gideon growled, holding up a hand as he watched her face blanch at his word choice. Grimacing as he settled on the bed beside her, he shook his head as he apologized, softly, "Sorry...bad word choice."

"You think?" Ainsley gasped, sitting up in bed and clutching the bedspread to her chest as her eyes looked desperately around the room, searching for some magical escape from this horrible, horrible nightmare.

"In my defense," Jason said, clearing his throat as he noted the stiff set of her shoulders, "I pushed you away."

"Do you want a merit badge?" Ainsley squeaked, shocked by her behavior. Good God, how had this happened? With her patient's father of all people. Well, she amended to herself, anal retentive nature firmly back in place, not technically his father. But close enough, damn it! Never mind the fact that, even now, she felt her panties dampening as she recalled his raw groan as her lips had wrapped around him...the way his hand in her hair had felt...his taste. Stop it, Ainsley!

Glancing over her shoulder at him, she shook her head, her messy hair flying against her shoulders. This was his fault. Somehow, some way, he was responsible for this. She just had to figure out HOW! And that began with filling in the blanks to the previous evening. Swallowing tightly, she whispered, "What happened?"

"Well," Jason drawled, dropping back against the fluffy pillows and clasping his hands over his stomach, "let's start with what you remember."

Biting her full lower lip, Ainsley replied, hoarsely, "I remember you picking me up. I remember arriving at the restaurant and..."

Watching as she trailed off, her eyes squinting as she reached for a memory just out of her reach, Jason asked conversationally, "Do you remember the wine? The wine you weren't supposed to have, incidentally?"

"I had wine? But I can't have wine," Ainsley responded quickly with a negative shake of her head, refusing to believe that she would have made such an irrational choice. "I'm taking medication."

"I know that now," Jason said conversationally, his lips twitching as he watched her natures war within her. "It would have been helpful, however, to have known that last night, Ainsley."

Dropping her aching head into a shaky hand, she rubbed her temple, trying desperately to ease the tightness. "I was so stressed yesterday. All day long, it was one crisis after another...I guess I just didn't think. And I always think," she moaned, half irritated at herself, half annoyed at him. "Always."

"Unfortunately, last night qualified as a rare occasion for you then," Jason murmured sympathetically, leaning forward to slide a comforting hand down her spine. "Don't worry...your secret is safe with me."

"And an entire restaurant that saw my bare breasts," Ainsley groaned, a flash of memory sparking as her cheeks reddened again, the feel of his touch seeping through the thin cotton, warming her back.

"I blocked the view of most of them," Gideon shrugged. "And if it helps, they're very nice breasts," he said, a mischievous grin playing against his lips as he remembered the very appealing assets of the woman in front of him. Too bad he hadn't been able to savor the view and too much of a gentleman to encourage her advances last night. Hell, it had taken every bit of self restraint he'd had in the early morning hours not to take what she was generously offering. But he hadn't.

Surely, if there was a God, that would earn him a place in heaven, wouldn't it?

Lifting her head, Ainsley stared at the light blue wall in front of her, focusing desperately on the edge of the white chair rail. "You pushed me away. A lot," Ainsley murmured, again wondering how she had lost her normally sane and rational mind.

"I prefer my women coherent. And cognizant," Gideon added, still smoothing his hand comfortingly up and down her back. "But the merit badge was well earned, I assure you. And I feel the need to warn you, the next time you make offers to me like you did last night, I'm going to have a difficult time saying no."

Shoulders dropping, Ainsley turned to look at Jason slowly. "I never imagined being grateful to you, but I am. Thank you," she said softly, meeting his soft brown eyes.

Wrapping his hands around Ainsley's arms, Gideon drew her slowly toward him. "I think you owe me a hell of a lot more than a simple thank you, Red. Try again," he whispered against her lips.


	65. Chapter 65

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-Five**

"Jason," Ainsley mumbled against his warm lips, her fingers clenching against his soft cotton shirt as she tried to clear her mind. "What are you..."

"I need to find out of that spark I felt between us was real or imagined," he murmured, lifting surprising gentle hands to cup her face, tilting her head as her eyes fluttered shut and she sighed against his lips.

Teasing her upper lip with the tip of his tongue, he felt her slight gasp, taking advantage of her parted lips with expert precision. It might have been a few years, but some things you never quite forgot. Although as he sank into the moist cavern of her mouth, he noted that it had been a long time since he'd tasted a woman this sweet, this delectable. Kissing her slowly, he savored her tongue...tasted each of her lips as she moaned softly against his mouth, his thumb sweeping gently along her jaw line as she returned each thrust of his tongue. Pulling back slightly, he nipped her lower lip as he met her shocked eyes. "Damn, definitely real," he muttered to mostly to himself.

"Oh, dear," Ainsley breathed shakily, licking her lips nervously as she met his serious eyes. "This just got complicated, didn't it?"

"Just figuring that out?" Gideon asked sarcastically, his slow smile belying the irritation of his words as he shifted her in his arms, her sleep-warmed body drawing him like a moth to a flame.

"You're the one that insisted on a date," Ainsley said, stiffening as she frowned at him, pressing a firm hand against his chest as she struggled to sit up straighter in the soft bed.

"Two dates," Gideon corrected easily, unwilling to have his terms dismissed so easily. "And I'm gonna want a do-over of last night," he snorted as he tapped her cheek. "There's nobody on the planet that would qualify that as a date."

Smiling ruefully, Ainsley dropped her eyes away from his, the pale pattern on the bedspread highly interesting. "Sorry about that. I honestly had no idea how that wine would affect me."

"According to Garcia, it's a rare side effect to the medication you take for your..."

"Let's not talk about the reason I take that medication," Ainsley snapped, pursing her lips as she colored again, unaccustomed to having such conversations with a man she was just getting to know on a personal level.

"Suddenly PMS is something to be ashamed of?" Gideon chuckled, his fingers rubbing gentle circles against her fragile shoulders.

"It's embarrassing," Ainsley grumbled, shaking her head as she drew her legs up. "And you are less than a gentleman for bringing it up," she huffed, swatting at his hand.

"Red, fair warning, but I think I used up all my gentleman's nature last night. You're stuck with me now," Gideon warned evenly.

"But as a general rule, I don't like you," Ainsley said haughtily, her words precise in the quite bedroom as she turned a flashing gaze on his conceited face. "You're coarse and rude and blunt and egotistical..."

"Yeah, you turn me on, too, Red," Gideon chuckled, leaning forward to quiet her in a way that had proven very effective seconds earlier.

*******

Downstairs, shaking his head as an overly enthusiastic David Rossi headed out the kitchen door, his footsteps obviously taking the stairs two by two, Spencer another bite of eggs as he watched JJ slip back toward the stove. "JJ, these eggs are delicious," he called out, pushing a bit of the scrambled yellow away from the edge of his bacon, not wanting the two to touch. But JJ had already known that, he thought with a nod to himself, remembering that she had distinctly separated each food on his plate into its own space.

"Thanks, Spence," JJ answered as she carried a stoneware plate over to the table, her steps easy but slow. Easing her very pregnant body down into the chair next to him, JJ reached for the jam as she said, "There's plenty more where that came from, so don't be shy about seconds, Spence."

Stopping mid-forkful, Spencer did a double take as he looked at her decidedly light plate. Motioning toward the one lonely piece of toast and what looked to be one tiny scrambled egg, he asked, surprised, "Surely you're going to eat more than that? It's a well documented fact that expectant mothers require a greater calorie load toward the end of the pregnancy as the baby draws additional resources."

"Yes, you've told me that many times before," JJ replied with a patient smile, spreading the strawberry jam from David's brother's farm onto half a piece of toast. "But your niece has decided that large meals are not exactly part of my diet any longer, especially at breakfast. But have no fear about her nutrition. She enjoys eating many, many times during the day." Swallowing a bite of the delicious sweet treat, she added, grinning, "And trust me, Dave makes sure that I eat every two hours like clockwork."

"I imagine he does," Spence commented drily, a chuckle in his voice as he thought about the strange reaction the older profiler had toward the woman next to him, a different nature than Reid had ever seen before. If he had to define it, Dr. Reid would have to diagnosis that it was his first true exposure to love, which was a strange subject in and of itself. Reaching for his coffee, he hesitated for a moment, then turned to face the blonde beside him. Clearing his throat, he said, gamely trying to smile, "You will marry him, won't you, JJ?"

Slowly placing her bitten piece of toast back on the earthenware plate as she heard the unspoken plea in his voice, JJ wiped her fingers on her napkin as she turned in her chair, repositioning her baby bump. Placing a gentle hand on his arm, JJ waited until he raised his shuttered eyes to hers before she answered, calmly, "I love Dave, Spence. And I meant what I said about leaning in that direction. But this is a big step for me, and I'm not going to rush into anything, not right now." Pausing, she took a deep breath as she added, reassuringly, "But no matter what, you will always have a home with me. With all of us. "

Taking a deep breath, he nodded once, not surprised that JJ had managed to see beneath his supposedly innocent question. About to respond, he jerked suddenly as he heard the sound of a slamming door reverberate down the staircase.


	66. Chapter 66

**Author's Note: Just a little shout out to three of my favorite authors who've decided to enact a little prompt of their own. Angel N Darkness, LacytheDemonicDuck, and Princess Aletheia have created a Song Title Prompt List for the H/P lovers out there. Check it out at .net/forum/Song_Title_Prompts/73635/**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-Six**

"Am I to assume that Dave interrupted something that might not be fit for familial conversation?" Reid asked, bemused, as he pulled his eyes back to JJ's.

"Won't be the first time," JJ said with a shake of her head as she swallowed a sip of juice. Hearing a muffled curse flying somewhere above them, she sighed as she pushed back her chair. "I guess I need to make sure he's not done something that will scar Ainsley for life."

Shaking his head, Reid motioned toward the doorway to the kitchen then as he demurred, smiling, "I don't think you'll have to track him down, Jayge. I think he's made his way home."

Following the direction of Spence's outstretched hand, JJ felt a grin spreading across her lips as she watched a decidedly disgruntled David Rossi limp slowly back into the kitchen. "Damn son of a bitch slammed the door on my foot," Rossi grumbled darkly, dropping down into a chair to carefully prop up his injured limb in the seat beside him.

"And did he have good reason?" JJ asked sternly, her eyes lingering deliberately on the small camera hanging off of Dave's right hand, receiving an angry stare in response.

"I think we can garner from his non-committal response that your assumption is correct," Reid supplied, feeling a rare burst of laughter start to bubble up in his chest as he catalogued the decidedly miffed expression on his senior profiler's creased face.

Wincing as he probed the side of his reddened foot, Rossi glared across the table as he snorted, "If you two are quite through, I could use an ice pack. If it's not TOO much of an inconvenience."

"What you need is a ten-pound anvil dropped on your head," JJ retorted, pushing up from her chair and waddling around the large country table. Peering down in mock compassion at the injured appendage, she rolled her eyes as she swatted at Dave's shoulder. "David Rossi! There is nothing wrong with that foot and you know it. Now quit acting like a two year old and march yourself right back up those stairs and apologize to Jason and Ainsley!"

"Oh, hell, no!" Dave roared, snaking his arm around her waist as he captured her raised hand in his. Pulling her down onto his lap, he declared, determined, "The man maimed me in my own home, Jennifer. I believe that I'm the injured party here!"

"Actually, JJ, Agent Rossi may be correct in his claim," Reid interrupted, his fingers tearing his cooling toast into small pieces as he considered the arguing couple across the table, "Virginia law states that a landowner has certain inalienable rights in the defense of his real property. Of course, this ruling has faced various challenges since its inception in colonial times, but has withstood Supreme Court intervention within the past decade."

Tightly holding onto the squirming woman in his arms, Dave grinned widely as he nodded agreeably. "Whatever the good doctor just said. I heard him say I was correct, so we're going with that."

"I don't care if Spence just declared you Supreme Ruler of the Universe, you are going to make nice with our guests!" JJ ordered with a glare, swatting at his strong hands. "So let me go and start moving up those stairs, buster!"

Hearing a slight movement and the sound of a throat clearing, Reid quickly swallowed his last bite of eggs as he motioned toward the open doorway. "Uh, JJ, I think Agent Rossi can maintain his present location. It appears that all current members of the household are present and accounted for."

Grunting as he felt JJ's tiny elbow make perfect contact with his ribs, Dave muttered as he looked over her shoulder. "'Bout time you got your ass down here, Gid. Now tell Jen what you did to me before she reaches Defcon Four."

Snorting as he stomped into the kitchen, Gideon reached for the coffeepot, pouring himself a cup as he said over his shoulder, "Like that's gonna happen. You're lucky you didn't take a header down the stairs, Rossi."

"Did I miss the installment in Emily Post that said all abuse would be heaped on the host's head?" Dave grumbled, sliding his hand over JJ's belly as he felt his little girl offer a healthy kick. Yeah, he thought morosely, at least somebody in the room agreed with him. Unfortunately, she couldn't talk yet, but still...

"Maybe our humble host shouldn't have been trying to snap pictures of....," Gideon growled, stopping abruptly as he realized what he'd been about to announce.

"Of what, Gideon?" Dave drawled teasingly, his grin widening once again as he took in his former partner's obvious discomfort.

"Oh, shut up," Gideon snapped, flushing as he raised the coffee cup to his lips, swallowing the caffeine gratefully.

Eyes darting from Rossi to Gideon as they bantered back and forth, Reid tilted his head. Perhaps he was imagining things, but considering his considerable skills of observation, he seriously doubted that. Eyes narrowing in interest, he asked incredulously, "Gideon, are you actually blushing?"

"Of course not," Jason huffed, wiping a hand across his brow as he dropped his eyes for a moment. "It's just warm in here."

Looking over his shoulder at the thermostat on the kitchen window, Reid shook his head, empirical evidence undeniable. "No, actually by most meteorologist's standards, it's a chilly sixty-eight degrees in the room. JJ had a hot flash earlier while cooking breakfast and opened the window."

"Who are you? Willard Scott?" Gideon snorted, an unwilling smile playing at his lips as he mock-glared at his almost son.

"Not quite. Just someone who can read a digital thermometer. I was merely pointing out that the reason for your flushed cheeks couldn't possibly be warmth," Reid replied calmly, reaching for his glass of juice.

"People flush for a variety of reasons, Spencer," Gideon mumbled, taking another sip of coffee, wondering why he had ever decided bringing Ainsley here would be a good idea. .

"Yes," Reid nodded sagely, "Anger, agitation...."

"Embarrassment," Rossi drawled, grunting as JJ's heel found his shin, her aim not at all hindered by her advanced pregnancy.

"I'm not embarrassed," Gideon retorted, waving a hand in the air as he leaned against the counter. "I just happen to think it's in poor form to photograph your guests without their knowledge or consent."

"What exactly were you photographing, David?" JJ asked sharply, her voice rising as she heard him chuckle behind her.

"Hmmm," Dave drawled, fingering his camera, flicking the buttons as he activated the digital display. "Why don't I show you? I think I got at least one becoming shot."

"Do it and your kid is fatherless, Rossi," Gideon muttered, tightening his fingers around the cup in his hand as he moved toward the table. Please, oh please, he thought dejectedly, save me from this family!


	67. Chapter 67

**Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy the following chapter. We're going to get to some drama soon. Review, and let us know your thoughts. I really appreciate hearing from each of you.**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-Seven**

Cocking his head, long hair falling to one side, Spencer interrupted the conversation-cum-argument between the two older men as he asked, eyes pointedly looking toward the door, "Uh, I almost hate to ask, but is Dr. Lynde actually still in the house? Or has she escaped out the window when none of us were looking?"

"I'm with Spence," JJ declared, pushing up off Dave's lap as she grabbed his shoulder for support. Scooping up his camera from his surprised fingers, she added, stopping his protest in mid voice, "I think I'd rather see Ainsley in person than in any picture you might have. I want to ensure for myself that this big galoot," she waved in Gideon's direction, smacking him in the chest, "Didn't completely drive her away last night."

"Really, JJ, your faith in me is touching," Gideon snorted sarcastically, stepping out of her reach as he saw her hand pull back for a second attack. "And if anybody's gonna be held responsible for scaring off our good therapist, it's that laughing hyena that managed to frighten her with his lights, camera, action routine."

"Hey!" Dave objected as JJ's glare turned in his direction once again. "You can't blame me if you were the one who managed to get the woman drunk and just had to bring her to MY home."

"Would you two QUIT acting like a couple of three- year-old children fighting over a swing on the playground?" JJ moaned, pressing a hand to her lower back as she felt her daughter shift rapidly from side to side. Nodding toward Reid, she ordered, "Spence, you're in charge of these two while I go find out if Ainsley is still speaking to the rest of us."

Watching as JJ waddled out of the room, Gideon shook his head at the woman's determination. Looking at Spence, he said quietly, his tone suddenly serious, "I think Ainsley's more worried about what you think than anybody else, Spencer."

"Me?" Spencer asked, furrowing his brows as his shoulders jerked up. "Why should she be concerned about me?"

"You're her patient, kid. She worried that she's compromised your treatment," Gideon returned evenly, dropping to the seat beside Rossi, his hands wrapped around his mug of coffee.

"By being human?" Spencer asked, truly confused, his head cocked to one side as he pondered that concept. "It isn't her fault she suffered an allergic reaction to the combination of her medication and alcohol. That could have happened to anyone. It has no medical or scientific bearing on her ability to perform her job as my therapist."

"You might share your thoughts with her then. She wasn't very interested in my opinion this morning," Gideon sighed, drawing the last sip out of his mug as he stood up, moving toward the ever present coffee pot for a well-needed refill.

"That's not unusual," Dave grinned in Gideon's direction, unable to resist one last parting shot for the morning. "None of us are particularly interested in your opinion no matter what time of day it is."

**~**~**

Tapping lightly on the ajar bedroom door, JJ called softly as she pushed against the wood, "Knock, knock?"

Turning sharply as she slipped her feet into her sensible black heels, Ainsley's eyes widened slightly as she heard the unexpected feminine voice echo through the open doorway. "Agent Jareau," she sighed, turning to face the expectant mother hovering in the doorway. Waving a hand, she added, "Please come in."

Slipping inside the bright bedroom, JJ quietly closed the door, pressing the wood into the jamb with a click. "I just wanted to make sure that Dave hadn't scarred you for life with his antics," she said by way of greeting, as smile on her lips. "He can be quite the practical joker when he puts his mind to it."

Smiling in return, Ainsley shook her head, her cheeks heating with embarrassment. Shrugging, she answered, "You'll have to forgive me, Agent Jareau. I'm not normally so..."

"Call me JJ, please," JJ ordered, waving a negligent hand in the air as she cradled her stomach with both hands. "And don't apologize. This could have happened to anyone. Are you feeling better this morning?"

"A bit fuzzy," Ainsley replied uneasily, still mortified by the events that had transpired, both from the night before and the actions of just the past hour. "But I think Agent Gideon hit the high points for me."

"Still so formal, Ainsley? I think you can safely call all of us by our first names now," JJ teased, patting the other woman's arm as she eased down on the edge of the bed.

Sighing heavily, Ainsley cast the other woman a sidelong look as she sat down heavily beside her. "I don't think I've ever been more humiliated in my life. Not only do I get drunk, stoned and create a public scene...I do it while in the company and presence of a patient and his family."

"Ainsley, none of us hold it against you. It was a misunderstanding," JJ soothed, her tone calm but reassuring.

"I don't know what Dr. Reid must be thinking," Ainsley shook her head regretfully, staring down at her dress shoes. "I'll need to refer him to another therapist immediately."

"What?" JJ asked as she pulled back quickly, aghast. "No! You can't!" JJ denied vehemently, shaking her head as her eyes widened, staring at the other woman. "The fact that Spence has trusted you this much, this fast is a miracle, Dr. Lynde. Please, you can't abandon his treatment now. Not after the progress he's made."

"As much as I appreciate your confidence, JJ, this is Dr. Reid's decision. If he no longer feels comfortable in my care..."

"But he does...he will," JJ insisted, her hands pressed against her thighs as she met the good doctor's eyes. "Ask him, Ainsley, before you make any final decisions. Please. Don't do anything until you talk to Spence," JJ begged, reaching out a hand to pat the other woman's.

Conceding, Ainsley inclined her head as she let out a sigh. "I'll at least talk to him about this. But if he prefers, I CAN get him the very best, JJ. I wouldn't simply abandon his treatment to just anyone."

"He's going to want you, Ainsley. I feel certain about that. None of us in this family handle change particularly well. But especially, Spence," JJ worried aloud, her lips twitching as she thought of the man she considered closer than a brother. Worriedly, she added, "And I think you know what he does when he feels like his world is spinning out of control."

Nodding once, Ainsley whispered, "I'll talk with him."

Offering a relieved smile, JJ linked her arm with the redhead's as she pulled her up off the bed. "How about I find you something to wear other than your dress from last night? You're the same size I was before this little one took over my body. Then, we'll get some breakfast in you and I bet you feel better."

Following the determined blonde out of the sunlit bedroom, Ainsley could only hope that her assessment was correct concerning Dr. Reid's thoughts. Otherwise, she was about to commit professional, and personal, suicide.


	68. Chapter 68

**_Author's Note: Okay, ya'll, you requested and you were heard. Stay tuned as I story reverts to a more serious tone. Please leave a review and let us know what you think. To everyone that has taken the time to read, review, alert, or favorite this story - THANK YOU! Hearing for you truly makes an already enjoyable experience much better. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds._**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Sixty-Eight**

Staring down at the black and white pages in his lap, Spencer Reid wrinkled his forehead as he carefully examined the formula before him. By his calculations, the outcome achieved by his long-time friend from Cal Tech were accepted empirical results. Grabbing a pen from his front-shirt pocket, he made a quick check mark to the side, reminding himself to revisit that thought at a later point.

He had to admit, even if it was just to himself, that he felt good to be doing something useful. For the last month, he had found himself at odds with his own mind, knowing on a scientific level that it was impossible to move forward without addressing the limitations in his past, while still chafing against the perceived restraints. But then, on the other hand, he also appreciated the time for healing, for introspection, to gain control over areas that he truly felt had spiraled out of control. For the first time in his two and a half decades on the earth, he honestly felt that he was developing a true awareness of himself, of his environment. He could say that he was truly living, rather than just existing.

But he wasn't naïve enough to believe that he was healed, if such a term could truly exist in the condition he found himself in. However, he could truly say that he had moved beyond mere survival, no longer fighting his own mind for the next minute or hour in time. And while, in the past, he had studiously avoided those moments that would force him into deep introspection, choosing rather to trust in the proven and scientific, he know found that he no longer avoided his own thoughts. Rather, he was learning to change his thought patterns for the better, no longer a prisoner of his own psychosis.

Glancing up as he heard the wooden door to the deck squeak open, Spencer Reid carefully placed a bookmark in between the pages of the galley proofs he was editing. He had a feeling that the detailed explanations on the process of expanding the periodic table could wait for a few more minutes. And, anyway, he knew, without being told, that the activity was more for his good than his friend's. But he appreciated the opportunity to at least contribute, somehow, to something that mattered.

Smiling down at the young doctor seated casually on the outdoor deck, Ainsley asked softly, "Do you care if I sit down with you, Dr. Reid?"

Scooting the spiral bound book to the side on the wrought iron table, Reid nodded as he motioned toward the chair beside him. "Of course I don't. There's more than enough room out here for all of us."

Easing down into the rocking black metal seat, the floral seat cushion shifting beneath her, Ainsley agreed as she looked around the oversized deck. "I've come to believe that Agent Rossi doesn't do anything by halves, does he? I can't believe he lived here all alone up until last week. I think I got lost just finding my way around upstairs."

Tapping his fingers against the edge of the weathered table, Reid smiled as he pulled upright. "I know the feeling. The first time I was here with the team, Morgan threatened to install GPS locators on everyone. He said it was worse than hunting for unsubs in Antarctica when he had to go looking for Hotch's son Jack." Reading the inquiring look in her eyes, he added in explanation, "He had bet Jack that he could find him anywhere within five minutes."

"And did he finally find him?" Ainsley asked, wrapping her hands around her coffee mug as she took a healthy sip, the caffeine hitting her system with a welcome jolt.

Cocking his head, his shaggy hair falling to the side, Reid let a grin play on his lips as he answered, "Yep. Hiding in Rossi's walk in closet. It took Morgan fourteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds." He laughed then as he added, knowingly, "I don't think Morgan expected to lose to a three year old. He griped for the rest of the night about how he was highly trained and capable of finding unsubs around the nation, and that it was highly unprofessional to be taken out by a toddler."

Not at all surprised that her patient was able to recall the exact details of that seemingly innocent moment in time, Ainsley took advantage of that opening as she said, softly, "I might understand how Agent Morgan was feeling. I find myself in a similar situation where I feel that my actions might not have been at all professional."

Tilting his head, Reid measured the words of the woman sitting across the table from him. "Aren't you the person that told me that all people, no matter how educated and experienced, are human, subject to the faults and fallacies of situations both beyond their control?"

"I am," Ainsley replied haltingly, still growing accustomed to her patient's ability to recite, word for word, her advice from previous therapy sessions. Shaking her head, she countered, "However, last night, was within my realm of control. I made a stupid decision."

"You don't hold the monopoly on that, Dr. Lynde," Spence grinned self-deprecatingly, his head dipping once as he acknowledged the situation. Meeting her eyes, he added, earnestly, "Honestly, it helps to know that not even my therapist is the picture of perfection all of the time. In my opinion, it helps to know that you make mistakes, too."

"I have to admit, Dr. Reid, that I was concerned about how you would view the previous evening and my actions. It was not my intention to damage your therapy, since you've made excellent progress," Ainsley admitted, letting out a sigh of relief and self-condemnation, her activities from the night before still floating through her mind. Leaning forward, she pressed a hand against the cool metal table as she added, "And if I thought that you were at risk for regression due to my actions, I would immediately remove myself from your treatment and refer you to another therapist who could assist you better. I feel that I would be remiss in my professional duty, and my personal responsibility to you, Dr. Reid, if I didn't tell you that I'm willing to step aside right now. If that's what you want."


	69. Chapter 69

**Drifting Away**

**Sixty-Nine**

Her offer did not catch him by surprise, Jason's earlier warning ringing in his ears. But even with the advance notice, Spencer was not prepared for the tightness that gripped his chest as he considered the fact that she might leave. "That's not what I want," he answered, the words rapid as he refused to consider another change in his life. Shrugging, he added, easily recognizing the differences in their situations, "Besides, we have the benefit of knowing that you didn't deliberately take drugs to escape. Not like I did."

"It a positive sign that you can recognize that and be willing to admit to it," Ainsley replied encouragingly, letting out a sigh of relief as she leaned back in her chair, propping her foot on the lower railing of the table.

"Denying it is sort of pointless," Spencer shrugged, his tone rueful. "I believe the past speaks for itself. Loudly, in my case."

"May I ask you a question, Dr. Reid?" Ainsley asked curiously, cataloguing the difference in her patient, the improvements between the first time she had met him and now highly obvious and gratifying.

"You're my therapist," Spence replied evenly, cocking a brow. "Isn't that sort of what you do?" he smiled weakly, waving a hand in the morning air, "Ask questions that make me search my soul and question myself and my motivations and machinations?"

"That's true," Ainsley agreed, noticing that his eyes expressed both interest and regret, both signs of a healthy advancement. "But right now, I'm not asking as your therapist. I'm asking as someone who simply wants to know the truth."

"Okay," Reid nodded, his mind shifting to accept the change in status, recognizing the variance in the situation as a scientific pursuit. "Please continue."

"Have you shared that you can admit your responsibility concerning the actions you committed to your family? Have you told them that you realize what you did? To yourself and to them?" she asked slowly, watching as his thin face tightened uncomfortably, the thought obviously less than desirable to him.

"No," he said softly, shaking his head, his eyes dropping slightly as he realized that the very thought was forcing him to confront emotions he would much prefer to leave untouched. "I haven't."

"May I ask why?" Ainsley prodded gently, carefully watching his open face as it pinched slightly, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheek, a physical reaction to the mental turmoil he was experiencing.

"Honestly, I'm afraid of what they'll say. They've all been so careful not to condemn me...I guess I'm a little frightened of what will happen when I give them the chance to do so," he admitted, faltering a little as he gestured uselessly with his hands, his cheeks flushing.

"You know, they have the right to those feelings...the right to verbalize them. It's part of the healing process," she explained cautiously, carefully choosing her words to best benefit his situation and to advance his therapy. "Not giving them a voice doesn't mean that they don't exist. And honestly, at some point, you need to hear them."

"I know. But the thought of it..." Spence replied, shifting nervously in his seat, the wrought iron creaking beneath him.

"Makes you afraid that you'll relapse? You're afraid their disappointment might push you back over the proverbial ledge?" Ainsley offered insightfully, one eyebrow raised as she waited for his response.

"I suppose," Reid nodded, swallowing as he turned in his seat, a ray of sunshine glancing off his cheek, warming his skin. "But I also know that I can't live with that fear indefinitely."

"No, you can't," Ainsley agreed evenly, her hands wrapping around the warm mug. Unwilling to let herself off the hook with the ease that her patient had offered earlier, she felt that she must at least present him one last chance to exercise his choice to remain in her care. "You know, if you're absolutely certain that you still want me as your therapist..."

"Of course I still want you to continue treating me," Reid frowned, running a hand through his shaggy hair as he shook his head, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the edge of table. "The idea of starting again with someone else isn't something I feel comfortable with at all," he insisted vehemently, his eyes widening considerably as he stared at the woman sitting beside him.

Smiling benignly even as her heart pounded with relief again, Ainsley nodded at his obviously affirmative response. "Good. I'd like to see your recovery through until the end, Dr. Reid. What I was saying is that I think it's time we tried a controlled family therapy session. A couple of them, in fact. I've talked a small bit to Agent Gideon as I thought he'd be our most resistant participant and..."

Shaking his head before she could complete the thought, Reid objected surely, "It won't be Jason that needs to be convinced. He'll do whatever necessary if he thinks it'll help me." And Spencer knew that he was certain in that statement. While he still couldn't completely understand Jason's actions and choices from before, he now knew that it was not his place to judge the other man. He was content to know that Jason thought he was acting in the best interest of everyone involved, and the fact that he had returned when Spencer needed him made a greater impact. And even greater than that was the fact that the older man had stayed, willingly choosing to be the support that he knew Spencer needed. Even in his darkest moments over the last month, he had never allowed himself to believe that Jason would leave him again, the older man's promises ringing true this time.

Hearing the passion behind the young doctor's words, Ainsley smiled. Her patient had obviously come a long way in his tenuous relationship with his quasi-father in the last month. And all of it was beneficial to him. To both of them, she amended, silently remembering Jason Gideon's slowly changing demeanor. Nodding approvingly, she murmured, "That's good, Dr. Reid."

"But you will have a few challenges, though, if this is the course you want to take though," Reid offered with a sad look. Sighing as he leaned back in the seat, his shoulders stiff, he added, knowingly, "I do not believe that all of my adopted family members are going to willingly participate in a group session."


	70. Chapter 70

_**Author's Note: Guys, I'm gonna take tomorrow off from posting and do some writing. I'll post again on Thursday. Thank you for understanding. Again, thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorited our stories. We love hearing from you. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds.**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy**

Seeing the obvious worries hovering in her patient's eyes, Ainsley leaned forward, placing her coffee mug on the table as she encouraged, "Talk to me, Dr. Reid."

"Would you please just call me Reid?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers as he waved a hand in the air. "It's disconcerting to have a doctor calling me doctor...it's like we're colleagues and we're not," he shrugged.

"Of a fashion, we are," Ainsley countered evenly, sweeping a strand of hair out of her face as a gentle breeze blew across the deck. "We both work with the human psyche, albeit, in different capacities." Narrowing her gaze on the younger man, she said, wondering how deep his doubt had permeated, "Reid, you're every bit as intelligent as I am. You know that, don't you?"

"Obviously not. You're not being counseled for trying to commit suicide. I wonder how many brain cells I lost for that lapse in judgment," he muttered, dropping his eyes to his hands, twisting his fingers in his lap.

"Reid, that didn't make you stupid. It made you desperate," she said gently. "And we're going to work on getting to the root of that desperation. You've made incredible strides already, and I honestly believe family therapy is only going to assist you in going further. Now, you mentioned that I might have some dissention in the ranks. So, we've discussed Agent Gideon. Let's talk about the rest of your family. I must say, on the whole, you got one very supportive group of people cheering for you."

"I do," he agreed with a slight smile, cocking his head as he met her eyes again, thoughts of his adoptive family always making him feel some better. "They're all determined to see me succeed in their own way."

"I'd definitely agree with that statement," Ainsley nodded, thinking of the odd menagerie of individuals that comprised Spencer Reid's makeshift familial unit. "Why don't we talk about each person for a few moments, Reid?"

"O-kay," Reid said carefully, his eyes narrowing as he attempted to follow her logic, an ingrained process that he couldn't turn off. "Who do you want to start with?"

Deciding to start with someone he felt comfortable with, she tilted her head. "How about JJ?"

"JJ has told me more than once that she's willing to do whatever I think will help me the most," Spence informed his doctor quickly, a picture of the young expectant blonde floating through his mind, her reassuring smile comforting him.

"And you believe that? Instinctively, I can tell. Can you tell me why?" Ainsley asked curiously, honestly interested in her patient's perceptions, his understanding of his support system key to his continued improvement.

"JJ doesn't know how to lie," he answered simply, his shoulders relaxing a bare inch. "Whether because of her upbringing or her personal code of ethics, I'm not certain. But one of the few things I've always been certain of is her honesty."

"Like you, then. You don't lie either," Ainsley noted, drawing the correlation between the two agents. "Unlike some of my other patients, you've never tried to paint your scene differently than what is has been and what it was."

"I don't find any point in lies. The truth comes out eventually. My mother used to say that...at least on her lucid days," Spence confided, unconsciously providing a window into his past and his relationship with his mother.

Smiling, Ainsley nodded, filing away that piece of information for further use. "If only more people felt that way, life would be a lot easier, I believe," she agreed, reaching for her coffee mug again, taking a sip of the now tepid liquid. "And I think you're right. JJ has given me every impression of being firmly ensconced in your corner. So, what about Agent Rossi?"

Smirking slightly, Reid shook his head as he glanced toward the back door, half expecting to see the dark-headed man watching out the window. "Agent Rossi will do whatever JJ tells him to do."

Chuckling, Ainsley licked her lips, cradling her mug on her lap. "Beyond that," she said, clearing her throat in an effort to disguise her laugh at the man's well founded opinion, "do you believe he has a personal interest in you?"

Furrowing his brow, Reid deliberated his answer for a moment. "I think," he began slowly, his words coming much slower in this assessment, "that up until JJ, Agent Rossi had a difficult time expressing any emotions at all besides anger. She changed him...and as she did, I think he began to care more about other people...to notice those that surrounded her. I'm one of those people. So, yes, I think he cares. How much, I'm not sure."

"It might interest you to know that it was Agent Rossi that approached me regarding your case. I was booked, Reid. For months. And Agent Rossi did everything short of arrest me to convince me to take your case. He'd heard I was the best in drug use interventions...and he only wanted the best for you. Based on what I experienced, you are very important to him...even if he might have trouble verbalizing it."

"Really?" Reid asked faintly with slightly widened eyes, his mind unable to comprehend that the normally taciturn older man would have gone to such lengths for him. Unaccustomed to having people use their influence for him in such a manner, he wasn't quite certain how he felt about it.

"Really," Ainsley said softly, nodding as she watched him closely, his discomfort obvious as he processed that new piece of information. "I think you're more important to these people than you give yourself credit for."

Blushing, Reid stammered, "I...I'm not sure if ..."

"Let's talk about your Unit Chief. Agent Hotchner. Do you think he'd have problems with attending a therapy session?" Ainsley asked easily, using the next member of his family to distract Reid, knowing that he didn't need to spend too much time thinking about any one person yet.

"It depends on if you want him to talk about himself," Reid declared honestly, accurately analyzing his Unit Chief. "Hotch is a very private person. He doesn't externalize his personal feelings very often. Of course, when he does, it often occurs very loudly. I truly believe he might have as many unpleasant childhood memories as I do."

"Interesting," Ainsley murmured, storing away that nugget of knowledge before meeting Reid's eyes again. "And Agent Prentiss?"

"Our resident diplomat schooled in tact and discretion? Emily, too, will cooperate. Just don't expect her to be forthcoming regarding her personal life. Emily rarely discusses herself."

"So you're a tightlipped group of people?" Ainsley said with a faint smile, one eyebrow cocked.

"You have no idea," Reid said softly, sighing as he shook his head. "In our job, it doesn't exactly do a body good to go home and talk about your day. So, either you have to find someone that understands or you remain alone."

"Technical Analyst Garcia?" Ainsley prompted, knowing that the chipper woman was obviously an extrovert, although she had a feeling that Garcia also had her own hidden troubles.

"Will probably be your most avid participant. Pen loves any chance to get us to talk about our feelings," Reid shuddered, grimacing as he remembered a particular all-night session with the cheerful woman, her troll dolls staring at him while she lamented her unrequited loves. "This will be a picnic in the park for her."

"And one final team member...Agent Derek Morgan. I assume you think he'll be my dissenter in the ranks?" Ainsley offered, raising an eyebrow as she knew that she had nailed his obvious fear.

"Derek isn't exactly a fan of the touchy feely stuff," Reid murmured, dropping his eyes again, pulling at the edge of a ragged cuticle as he thought about his teammate.

"Interesting career he chose for himself then," Ainsley mused, propping her chin in her hand as she leaned against the table.

"He enjoys matching wits with the perpetrators and catching the bad guys. He's our most...physical team member. Combine that with the abandonment issues he has and..."

"Whoa, there," Ainsley said, raising a hand to stop Reid, straightening up as she caught that tidbit of knowledge. "What issues are those?"

Biting his lip, Reid winced, realizing he'd inadvertently revealed more than he probably should have. "Uh...Morgan's father died at a young age. He was forced into growing up faster than he probably should have."

"Sounds familiar," Ainsley said leveling, turning those penetrating eyes on Reid, drawing the correlation between the two men.

"Yes, well...when you add that to his feelings about Jason and the anger he feels about me trying to take my own life...he's, in a word, rather volatile," Reid surmised with a sigh, pulling his leg up underneath him as he tucked tighter into the metal chair

Nodding once, Ainsley smiled reassuringly, carefully watching his telling body language. "I can talk to him."

"Good luck," Reid offered weakly, shaking his head as he tucked his hands over his chest. "And if you believe in God, I'd say a prayer before beginning."

Chuckling, Ainsley nodded, keeping her voice light, "I'll keep that in mind. Now, I have an important question. Your biological father...Max Reid...do you have any interest in seeing him Reid? In telling him how his defection has affected you...molded you into who you are? Therapeutically speaking..."

"No," Reid said flatly, his face hardening as the one simple word flew out of his mouth, loud in the otherwise quiet back yard.

"Are you sure..."

"Absolutely not. Max Reid was a genetic donor. He ceased being my parent long ago, Dr. Lynde," Reid acknowledged, sharply insistent as he stiffened his shoulders.

Recognizing signs of her patient's shut down, Ainsley nodded quickly as she eased back into her chair, deliberately keeping her posture relaxed. "Fair enough. All right, tomorrow, I'll talk to Agent Morgan...and hopefully, we can schedule this for next week."

"Something to look forward to," Reid almost groaned, turning to stare out across the back field, his eyes gazing blankly at the distant trees.


	71. Chapter 71

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-One**

Stepping out of the elevator into the carpeted hallway, Dr. Ainsley Lynde glanced to her right, then her left, as she tried to remember exactly which door to take. Seeing a glass door slide open out of the corner of her eye, she turned toward the left, that small motion triggering the correct memory. And if she wasn't mistaken, the man she was looking for would be seated just inside the bullpen, his desk front and center.

She had considered a more cautious assault, perhaps having the agent in question meet her at her office or on neutral territory. But after examining the situation at length, taking into account the personalities of all involved, she had made an executive decision to place herself on her quarry's turf, to give him the upper hand so that he would feel more in control. Perhaps this way, he would feel more inclined to listen to her and respond to her professional opinion, for the good of her patient and his friend.

Adjusting the plastic badge clipped to her collar, Ainsley stepped inside the bright room, the sounds of ringing telephones mixing with low conversations and the background chatter from a television screen in the corner, a world map flashing as a newscaster reported the latest tragedy. But her focus wasn't on any of that, but rather on the muscled man bent studiously over his desk, his fingers tapping at a laptop as he stared intently at the small screen.

Easing beside his desk, Ainsley pasted on her most professional disarming smile as she tapped his shoulder. Meeting his surprised eyes as he turned suddenly toward her, she said, softly, "Agent Morgan. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" But that question, like many of the others she normally asked, was not as innocent as it sounded, her research already informing her that the BAU team was not on a major case at this time. And a very helpful Penelope Garcia had given her all of the details she would need to choose the absolutely best time for this little tete-a-tete.

Leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed behind his head, Derek Morgan stared up at the good doctor as he said, surprise in his voice and his eyes, "Dr. Lynde. What can I help you with today? If you're looking for JJ, I'd be glad to…."

Shaking her head, Ainsley raised her hand quickly as she interrupted, "No, I'm not here to see Agent Jareau. I'd actually like to talk to you if you have a moment to spare."

"Me?" Morgan asked, shifting in his rolling chair as he peered up from the computer on his desk at the attractive redhead. "What'd I do?" he asked automatically, his mind already churning as he mentally reviewed his last interactions with Spencer Reid, wondering if he had said or done something to send his friend into some sort of mind-boggling tailspin. Whatever it was, it had to have been bad if it brought the man's psychiatrist to his figurative doorstep.

Smiling, Ainsley tilted her head, "Why do you assume you've done something, Agent Morgan?"

"Hey," Derek chided, wagging a finger at her as he raised an eyebrow, "I'm onto you. I know the whole answer a question with a question tactic. It's usually a ploy I use to gain information. What information is it that you want, Doc? Asking for it from me will get you your answers quicker."

"Okay, you like the direct approach," Ainsley noted aloud, dropping into the visitor's chair in front of his desk. Making herself comfortable as she crossed her ankles and leaned back, she murmured, "I'll make a note of that for future reference."

"Please do...and make yourself comfortable, Doc," Morgan invited sarcastically, staring pointedly at her as she dropped her purse to the floor at her feet.

Chuckling as her bag landed with a thud, Ainsley raised a brow. "You said you preferred direct, Agent Morgan . This is me. Being direct."

She had him there, he admitted to himself, shifting under her inscrutable gaze.

"Pardon my next statement," Morgan muttered, closing the file on his desk next to his laptop with a soft swish. "But, what's up, Doc?"

"Charming," Ainsley grinned, leaning forward as she met the agent's eyes. "Actually, I'm here to ask you a few questions regarding your colleague."

Intrigued, Morgan leaned forward to clasp his hands together atop his desk. "Okay, shoot."

"Why would Dr. Reid be apprehensive about me extending an invitation to you for a family therapy session?" Ainsley asked bluntly, deciding that jumping straight into the discussion was the best way to go in this case. "Especially since I believe you might have some special insights into my patient," she added belatedly.

"And what might those be, Dr. Lynde?" Morgan asked tightly, shifting into formality as his discomfort grew exponentially.

"Well, first," Ainsley began, "It's obvious to me that you both have experienced issues with abandonment in your past. And before you say anything," Ainsley said, holding up a hand to forestall the immediate objections she could see rising in his eyes, "that was already clear to me before Dr. Reid confided in me. It was there in your reaction to Agent Gideon's absence from my patient's life over the last year. You were...and I believe, still are...furious with him."

"That's my business," Morgan said, his voice hard in the busy bullpen, his shoulders stiffening almost imperceptivity underneath his jacket.

"Not when it influences my patient's treatment, it's not. Then, it becomes my concern as well," Ainsley replied, matching his tone as she catalogued his responses, watching his body language as she gauged his growing level of discomfort.

"Your job is to cure, Reid. Not me," Morgan stated flatly, his jaw clenching. "There's nothing wrong with me, Doctor."

"First, there's something wrong with ALL of us, Agent Morgan. Each one of us comes with our own unique set of baggage. And your baggage is currently hampering my patient's treatment. Treatment for an illness that has NO cure, I might add. This will be a daily struggle for Dr. Reid every day of his life. I'm trying to give him the tools to cope with his addiction. And that includes family therapy," Ainsley explained evenly, crossing her legs as she settled in her chair, unwilling to leave until they reached an agreement. "And, I'm fully prepared to wait you out, Agent Morgan. Like you, I'm very determined. The red hair isn't just for show."


	72. Chapter 72

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Two**

"Listen, I'm sure that Reid will do just fine without my participation in a touchy-feely moment," Morgan replied tightly, glancing over his shoulder as he heard a sudden burst of activity at the glass doors. Jerking his head back around, he added, shaking his head, "I don't think it will be detrimental to his treatment if I'm not there. He knows how I feel about him."

"Yes, he does," Ainsley agreed with that last statement, nodding casually as she watched the dark-skinned man reach for a pen on his desk, tapping the edge against his leg in an occasional staccato beat. Having already received permission from her patient to share pertinent details, she added, "But he also feels like you might not understand his choices and his motivations. He worries that you might think less of him because of his actions."

Shaking his head before she even finished her sentence, Morgan leaned forward as he said, firmly, "Look, lady, that's not the truth whatsoever. And Reid should know better than to think that way. I've always been firmly in his corner, and I've always had his back. Doesn't he realize that?"

"Do you feel that others haven't always shown him that same loyalty?" Ainsley responded instead of answering, then, after a short pause, added intuitively, "That someone hasn't shown all of you the same loyalty?"

"Again with the questions. Look, as long as Jason Gideon keeps his ass glued to Reid's side, then I have no beef with him. "

Cocking her head to the side as she examined the determined look on the man's face, Ainsley asked, "Tell me, Agent Morgan, do you feel that everyone has the ability to change and to overcome any failures in his past?"

"Doc, no offense, but I believe Gideon and Dave are paying those massive fees of yours to counsel Reid. Not me," Morgan stated flatly, ignoring her question as he stared into her eyes.

"Then I'd say they have some wriggle room in my tab, wouldn't you?" Ainsley replied evenly, tilting her head as she cocked a brow. "I can outlast you, Agent Morgan. I cleared my entire afternoon for this visit," she warned easily, smiling politely as she folded her hands in her lap.

"God, save me from pushy, determined women," Morgan begged, squeezing his eyes shut as he tilted his head back, wondering what he had done wrong in the universe to deserve this sort of punishment.

"I think he's a bit busy trying to build peace in the Middle East," Ainsley said dryly as she observed his theatrical antics. "Your trivial problems with me probably aren't at the top of His list. But it's good to know that you believe in a higher power," she noted interestedly.

Dropping his head quickly and opening his eyes, Morgan shook his head. "Nuh uh. You and I are not discussing God or religion, lady," he snorted, pointing in her direction. "Or politics. Or any other debatable subject. I am not your patient," he whined lowly, shifting in his chair as he ignored the sound of a ringing phone in his vicinity.

"Perhaps you should be," Ainsley remarked, dropping her chin against her hand as she stared him down.

"You scare me," Morgan stated truthfully with a frown, mentally flogging himself for admitting such a thing to a woman he didn't know all that well. "I mean, you are almost, not quite mind you, but almost as scary as Baby Girl when you're on a mission."

"You mean Penelope, yes?" Ainsley smiled, once again mentally thanking JJ for her insights to the team dynamic.

Bobbing his head, Morgan snorted. "Yeah."

"You can thank her for giving me your location," Ainsley grinned at the man's obvious distress. "She's also on my side. As is JJ. You're outnumbered, Agent Morgan. And your opposition is formidable."

"Crap," Morgan groaned, slapping his hands against his desk, papers fluttering underneath his palms. "Fine! I'll be there. BUT," he said, pointing his finger at her as he narrowed his eyes in warning, "You quit shrinking me."

"I will only shrink you, as you so adeptly put it, only in as much as it pertains to my patient. That's the best I can offer you," Ainsley bargained, leaning forward as she steadily met his gaze, the feel of victory weighing heavily in the air.

"Aaarrrggghhh," Derek groaned heavily as he dropped back against the chair, the wheels rolling slightly at his weight. "You really do fit in with us really well," he said grudgingly. "Maybe you should look into a position here at the Bureau."

"Oh, Agent Morgan," Ainsley shook her head as she smiled professionally, "You and your esteemed colleagues give me more than my quota of crazy quite easily. No need to add to it."

"Now that stings, Doc," Morgan grinned, pressing a hand to his heart, his voice lightening as he met the younger doctor's eyes. "Life had to have been boring before the BAU boys stormed into it."

Lips quirking as his specific phrasing, Ainsley huffed out an amused chuckle, "The BAU boys? A very apt description."

"Hey, we're not so bad, are we?" Morgan asked, winking at her as he reached for his ever-present mug of coffee.

"You are all a very interesting collection of individuals," Ainsley declared graciously, wisely choosing her words as she mentally catalogued the varying degrees of psychoses in just that one group of people.

"You're afraid to answer that question honestly, aren't you?" Morgan teased, never one to allow himself to be thought of as anyone's fool.

"You, Agent Morgan, are not nearly as easily deluded as you were purported to be," Ainsley noted, neatly sidestepping his question with an indirect response as she reached for her bag.

"And you aren't half bad either for a headshrinker," Morgan laughed, shaking his bald head as he watched the good doctor ease out of the BAU. Sighing as he turned his attention back to the consultation file on his desk, he grinned to himself as he realized that he was definitely going to have a very detailed conversation with Penelope Garcia about her obvious defection to the other side.


	73. Chapter 73

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Three**

Looking around the cozy living room of Jennifer Jareau's former home, Ainsley Lynde saw varying degrees of comfort. Which was exactly what she had expected from this makeshift family.

David Rossi sat with his arm draped comfortably around a glowing JJ. His face was carefully neutral, the only glimmer of emotion he showed was toward the woman he held. Periodically turning soft eyes to her, he kept her physically close, ready to shield her from whatever threat, real or perceived, that presented itself. He wasn't thrilled about being here. That much was obvious. But, as Dr. Reid had indicated, David Rossi would do whatever necessary to ensure JJ's happiness. And if that meant sitting through a mandated family therapy session, that's what he'd do.

JJ, she knew, had forced her lover into arriving earlier. The urn of fresh coffee and carefully laid out pastries indicated as much. The woman was a stickler for details. Recognizing well the trait, Ainsley couldn't fault her for the desire to ensure that everything possible was done to ensure a positive outcome. And combine that desire with the obvious mothering instinct she exhibited toward the entire team, then JJ was a force to be reckoned with.

It hadn't been a secret that JJ had been the driving force the past few months, motivating and supporting Dr. Reid in his continued recovery, literally sacrificing her own well being at times. Well, Ainsley amended in her thoughts, as much as Agent Rossi would allow her to. Perhaps it was the young woman's desire to see everyone happy that fueled her drive. Or perhaps it was an outgrowth of the nesting instinct that was dictated by her hormones at this time, the pregnancy well-progressed and on schedule. Or perhaps, and this was the perhaps that Ainsley was leaning toward, there had been an event in JJ's past that she hadn't been able to control, another person who had either left her or attempted to leave her by the same method Dr. Reid had tried. But whatever the young agent's motivation might be, Ainsley was certain that JJ was devoted to Dr. Reid. And as a therapist, she took that as a positive sign, knowing that her patient needed every possible asset he could gain.

Drawing her eyes from JJ, Ainsley surreptitiously watched Emily Prentiss reach for her mug of coffee, drawing in a deep sip of the fragrant brew as she smile at something JJ had said. The poised woman seemed comfortable in her own skin, her legs casually crossed as she propped her elbow on the upholstered arm of the wing chair.

She liked Agent Prentiss. The woman kept her emotions, thoughts and feelings under tightly held control, it was true. But not in a way that was off-putting to others. No, conversely, while she might not share a lot of herself with others, she was extremely empathetic. And, based on her numerous conversations with Dr. Reid, Ainsley knew that next to JJ, she was the member of their team that they turned to for personal guidance most often.

Aaron Hotchner stood stiffly in the corner of the room, his unreadable eyes moving stealthily among his agents. Now, this man, Ainsley thought, was a blend of integrity, honor and mystery. There was something in his past as well. Somewhere in his formative years, he apparently had learned the hard way to rely on a protective shield rather than sharing his emotions. And she'd bet it was the reason he kept himself carefully guarded, his hooded gaze never wavering, never disappearing, even for a moment.

In contrast, Penelope Garcia's vibrant eyes darted the room, every emotion on display for the world to see if they chose to look. Watching as she tapped a nervous heel against the floor, Ainsley knew the woman was anxious to begin. Incredibly enthusiastic about solving whatever problem presented itself, she was a born "fixer". A pleaser, her colleagues would say. But, blessedly, in the best possible way.

Derek Morgan, her last holdout, had finally arrived, jerkily nodding to the room at large as he took a seat beside Garcia, dropping an arm around her. His eyes were open, if a little wary as he whispered something into Garcia's ear as the woman leaned against his shoulder. But he was here and at the moment that was all she could ask for. He had kept his promise, which Ainsley had never doubted.

And, of course, Jason Gideon...a man she'd unwittingly found herself extremely attracted to for a perverse reason not even she, a trained professional, could name….was leaning negligently against the wall. If one were to make assumptions strictly based on appearances, he seemed relaxed, as if he hadn't a care in the world. Fortunately for her, she had gotten to know a little about the taciturn agent. And she knew nothing was further from the truth. But, if that was the persona he wanted to emit, she was powerless to stop him.

And, at the center of it all, sat her patient. Dr. Spencer Reid. Nervously shifting in a simple straight-backed chair, she watched as he again raised a finger to his lips, biting at the already short, ragged nail. Watching him carefully, she could see he was a little overwhelmed by the crowd surrounding him, though he knew each individual well. But a little chaos was good. She needed to see him deal with a stressful situation. And she knew, just by the faces around her, that this afternoon would provide that in spades.

Clearing her throat as she rose to stand in the center of the room, she pasted a benign smile on her face as she said, "Okay, I think everyone has arrived. I know that Dr. Reid appreciates each of you taking the time to come this afternoon and listen to what he has to say. Part of every addict's recovery is about taking responsibility for his or her own actions. And we've come to that crossroad in Dr. Reid's treatment," Ainsley noted in what she hoped was an encouraging tone. "Dr. Reid, are you ready to speak?"

Looking around the room at his family, taking time to rest his eyes on each face, Reid slowly nodded. "I think so," he whispered, to himself as much as to his therapist. "I really think I am."


	74. Chapter 74

_**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting this story. I'm extremely grateful and truly appreciate hearing from each of you. I'm going to try and get some writing done tomorrow, so, the next post will be Friday. Thanks!! As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds.**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Four**

His lips twitching as he took one last look around the room at his gathered friends, Spencer Reid drew in a deep breath as he said, softly, "I'm not exactly sure where to start."

Unable to stand seeing her friend in turmoil, Garcia leaned forward, eyes wide, as she said, supportively, "Lamb chop, you just take all the time you need. If you want us to talk amongst ourselves until you feel like speaking, you just let me know and I'll give everyone a topic they can chat with their seatmate about." Elbowing Morgan in the ribs, she turned to stare at the bald man as she said, winking, "Sunshine here can tell me why he forgot to bring me a double latte like he promised."

Grinning at the woman he considered to be a close friend, Spencer shook his head as he said, "No, Garcia, it's not like that. Although I appreciate your offer. I know what I want to say. I'm just trying to decide the best place to start chronologically."

Seeing her patient turn to look at her, his eyes wide, Ainsley murmured, "Why don't you do what we discussed, Dr. Reid, and start at the present."

Nodding once, his long hair shifting over his eyes, Spencer hunched forward in his plain chair as he said, "That is the most logical point of commencement." His fingers pressed against his thighs, he added, "Starting at the present, I want to apologize to everyone for what I've put you through over the last months. I've learned that my choices have had ramifications beyond my own life. That's not been fair to any of you."

"Kid, as long as you get better, that's all the apology I need," Morgan said deeply from the cushion beside Garcia, his eyes glancing over at the therapist sitting next to Reid for a moment.

"That's nice of you to say, Morgan," Reid said, shuffling in his seat guiltily, "but we all know that isn't true. I violated the trust I'd established with all of you. And I know that is going to be incredibly difficult to obtain again. In your positions, I'm not sure I could..." he faltered, letting his words trail off as he swallowed, gaining control again. Straightening, he continued, softly, "I'm not sure I could, nor would I have the desire to, forgive me."

"That's ridiculous, my little genius," Penelope shook her head, her dangling earrings bouncing against her neck. "Of course, we're going to forgive you."

Looking around the room at several of the impassive faces sitting there, Ainsley interrupted gently, smiling at the young woman. "Penelope, I think each person in this room has to make that decision for themselves."

Seeing the reddish-blonde brows of his friend furrow in consternation, Reid jumped in quickly, nodding as he met her eyes, "She's right, Garcia. It's up to each member of the team."

Pursing her red lips, Garcia looked around the room. "Fine," she huffed, glaring at her silent colleagues as she almost dared them to have a differing opinion, "then, I forgive you, my favorite super genius."

"Thanks, Garcia," Reid said softly, leaning forward again as he sighed, "but, I know I hurt you with my actions and everybody else in this room. I destroyed the faith you all had in me. But, I'm working really hard to get better."

"I think that's all any of us can ask of you, Reid," Hotch said deeply from his corner of the room, watching closely as the youngest member of his team attempted to work through the terms of his therapy.

Taking a deep breath, Reid continued, "I know all of you are wondering what possessed me to do something so stupid." Pausing, he shook his head as he realized that he had asked himself that same question many times now. "I wish I had an answer that would make sense to you...to myself. But I don't. I knew that I could have come to any of you and you would have helped me. But, the drugs...they made it all stop. For a little while."

"And," Emily prodded, leaning forward a little in her seat as she waited for her young colleague to continue.

"And I really wanted it all to stop," Reid whispered, dropping his eyes to the beige and brown rug that covered most of JJ's one-time living room.

"Wanted what to stop, Spence?" JJ asked, tilting her head and staring at her friend, her brother, with soft eyes, needing to know what had been so difficult for him.

"The pain. That pain that just wouldn't stop," he replied, drawing out the last word with a shudder.

"Is the pain still there, Reid?" Dave asked, staring at the younger man with hooded eyes, measuring his response.

"Yes," Reid nodded, swallowing nervously. "It's always there. I'm learning it may always be there. But I'm learning to deal with it productively," he said, glancing toward Ainsley for reinforcement. "Aren't I?" he asked a bit desperately, needing some form of reassurance at this point.

"You are," Ainsley agreed with a gentle smile. "But it's a process. A long process. And some days, it's going to feel endless...and in a way, it is. You're always going to have to fight harder than most, Dr. Reid. Depression...change...they are things that are going to consistently affect you more than the average individual. What you have to understand is that those things are not a free pass to destructive behaviors."

"He's taking responsibility, Ainsley," Gideon growled softly from his solitary position, having held his silence up until now. "I don't think there's any reason to beat the point over his head."

Glancing up quickly at the heavy words, Ainsley frowned at the older man, recognizing the tone of challenge in his voice. "I disagree...and I think the rest of the room at large would support me in that."

"I don't give a damn about the rest of the room right now, Ainsley," Gideon warned, narrowing his eyes at the woman that had managed to turn his life upside down in multiple ways. "I care about him," he said, nodding toward Reid.

"And while I respect that you want to protect Dr. Reid from upsetting the balance that he's managed to find, in the real world there are obstacles and hurdles that he'll need to be prepared to face. He can't stay nestled in the cocoon that you've created for him forever. Eventually, he'll need to rejoin the world...his team...and this is the first step on that journey. Facing all of you. And what he's done."

"S-she's right, Jason," Reid said quietly from his seat, shifting to look over his shoulder at the man attempting to protect him. "I need to do this. It's the only way I'm ever going to improve."

"Reid, being raked over the coals isn't my idea of improvement," Gideon replied with a stern glare at Ainsley, his jaw tightening as he barely held on to his control.

"Being raked over the coals, as you put it, is part of the process," Ainsley stated evenly, meeting Jason's eyes without flinching. "You all need to do it," she said, looking around at the occupants of the room. "And he," she said firmly, nodding toward Reid, "needs to hear it."


	75. Chapter 75

******_Author's Note: Thanks again to everyone that is reading, reviewing, alerting or favoriting our stories. We truly appreciate hearing from each and every one of you in whatever way you choose to communicate. With ten ongoing stories, this will probably be the last post until Sunday afternoon/evening. Hopefully, we'll be able to bring back some quality chapters to you. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds._**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Five**

Nodding as he met his therapist's eyes, Reid shrugged as he turned back toward the assembled group around him. "Nothing you could say to me can hurt me any more than I've hurt each of you already," he murmured, swallowing hard as he used one hand to pull aimlessly at the other.

JJ shook her head, leaning forward as she watched her almost-brother try to stretch his fingers out of joint. "Spence, each of us love you. We didn't love your actions, not at all, but we still love you. I personally don't define you by your choice. I just want you to continue getting better so that those choices aren't options for you anymore."

"JJ, it's okay to tell me that I hurt you. Of anyone in this room, I know that I hurt you the most," Reid responded, his hands wrapping around his knees as he leaned forward in his Spartan chair, returning her gaze with an energy that he wasn't certain he had possessed.

Waving a hand in the air as she pressed her other hand to her growing stomach, JJ whispered supportively, "That's water under the bridge, Spence. You and I have worked through the trauma of the past months."

"As much as I love you, JJ, I have to acknowledge the fault in that statement," the young man replied with a shake of his shaggy head. "At times, I've let you absolve me of my feelings of guilt because that's what I wanted at that time and it made you happy. But I can no longer allow myself to take the easy way out."

"I have not," JJ denied quickly, shaking her head as she frowned at the thin man sitting across the room.

"Yes, you have," a deep voice rumbled beside her, David Rossi speaking for the first time since the session began.

"Dave..."

"Hear him out, JJ," Ainsley advised, watching as JJ's eyes flashed darkly and she turned her head toward her lover. "That's what this session is for. Dr. Reid needs to hear from everyone."

"But..."

"Honey," Dave snorted, tightening his arm around her shoulder as he stared down into her glittering ice blue eyes, "I love you. But you guard that young man," he said, nodding at a fidgeting Reid, "like a child. He's not a kid anymore, Jen. He's a fully grown man that's cognizant of his actions and capable of dealing with the repercussions. No offense, Reid, but it's time for the training wheels to come off."

"Dave!" JJ exploded as Gideon cursed, the sounds blending together into a negative cacophony.

Glaring at Dave, Gideon hissed as he pushed off the wall, "You have the tact of a bull in a china shop, asshole."

"As far as I can tell, Agent Rossi hasn't said anything untoward. He's merely stating his opinion," Ainsley intervened diplomatically, leaning back in the comfortable chair, her eyes carefully watching all member of the discussion.

"Look, Jase, as far as I was told, the point of this little meet and greet was to lay it all out on the table. I care as much about Reid as anybody else here...but lying to him...making excuses for him...ain't gonna help him get better. And neither will coddling him," he added with a pointed look at JJ, raising his eyebrow expectantly.

"Remind me not to let you handle this child's discipline," JJ muttered, her mouth tightening as she stiffened beside him, jerking her hand away from his as she glowered in his direction.

Sighing, Dave glanced sideways at JJ. "There's a difference between being a hardass with a twenty-six year old man and an infant, Jennifer."

"Agent Rossi is right, JJ," Reid stated softly, glancing at the elder man nervously, hating to hear that tone in his voice, especially when he knew the words were true. "I'm not a child anymore. And the actions I took...were childish. I chose to try and escape a situation rather than face it head on because it seemed easier. Not exactly an adult decision on my part."

"A mistake you've made more than once," Hotch noted evenly, straightening in his chair as he stared in the young man's direction.

Turning his head toward their Unit Chief, the older man's expression calm but serious, Reid acknowledged softly, "I know you're taking heat on this, Hotch. I'm sorry."

"Reid, I was able to cover this with the Bureau the first time around. And because of your brilliance when profiling, they'll look the other way this time. But, I won't be able to help you if there's a third time. Before you come back to work, I need you to be absolutely certain that there won't be any further incidents," Hotch replied seriously, suddenly remembering a similar discussion he had had with the young man on a return flight from Texas. And he could only hope that the results would be as good this time as it had been then.

"So you're threatening to fire him?" Morgan growled, jerking upright as he turned toward his Unit Chief. "Because he made a mistake?"

"He's made more than one, Morgan. I can't afford to take a risk in the field. You know that," Hotch snapped, his jaw clenching as he met his teammate's charge.

"And Hotch isn't the bad guy here," Emily pointed out, holding out a hand to interrupt the potential argument brewing. "Bureau policy is pretty clear on these kind of breaches." Wincing as she watched Reid's face pale, Emily realized how her words must have sounded as she muttered, "Sorry, Reid."

"Don't be," Ainsley shook her head, meeting the brunette's dark eyes. "Dr. Reid needs to understand the consequences of another slip. Sugarcoating the result of failure on his part won't help anything."

"Look," Morgan said, looking around as he pulled his arm from Penelope's shoulders, leaning forward to stare at the man he considered to be a brother. "All I wanna know is why you didn't come to one of us, genius boy. There's not a person in this room, with one exception," he said, glaring over his shoulder at Jason, "that couldn't have been at your apartment in twenty minutes. Tell me, that wouldn't have helped you through whatever pain you were in?"

Shrugging weakly, Reid muttered, "I didn't want your help, Derek. Or anybody else's either. I was so wrapped up in myself...in my own feelings...I just wanted out. I wanted it to stop and I knew how to make it happen. It was the most selfish act I've ever committed and I've hated myself for it every day since it happened. But I can't go back and undo it. All I can do is try to get better."

"But...what pain, kid?" Morgan frowned, narrowing his eyes as he tried to understand the situation. "What was the origin?"

"I was tired of being left behind," he mumbled, dropping his head as his hair fell into his face, shielding him from the eyes suddenly seem to bore down on him. "First, my dad...then, Gideon...and then when mom died...or committed suicide...I just lost it."

"People are always going to be leaving, Reid," Emily said softly. "Individuals drift in and out of our lives. It's a part of life."

"But there are some things you should be able to count on," Morgan objected, his voice hard. "Your friends...your family," he said, looking at Jason again. "Those are supposed to be for life. I get where the kid is coming from."

"But," Ainsley pointed out, drawing attention back to herself, "there are productive ways to deal with the emotions associated with loss. Drugs and suicide attempts are not acceptable."

"I'm not saying they are," Morgan retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm just saying that I see where he was coming from."

"I don't," Garcia shook her head, interjecting her comments as she clasped her hands against her waist. "Maybe your mom and dad did leave you. Gideon, too, for a time. But the rest of us were HERE."

"I know," Reid nodded, clenching his hands together, hating how her voice had suddenly grown tight because of his choices.

"How would we have dealt with the loss of YOU, Reid?" Garcia persisted, her face flushing as her eyes teared up, shaking her head as she tried to stop herself from rushing across the room toward him.

"At the time, I wasn't thinking about that," Reid faltered, lifting his head to look desperately at Ainsley. His voice dropped, his words barely audible then as he muttered, "I wasn't thinking at all."

Nodding sympathetically at the plaintive tone in his voice, Ainsley stood as she reached out a hand and placed it on the back of Reid's chair. "I think this is a good time for a break."


	76. Chapter 76

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Six**

Reaching for a striped mug in the absolutely pristine kitchen that had once belonged to Jennifer Jareau, Ainsley filled it with the fragrant coffee that she just knew that JJ had thoughtfully brewed earlier. Swishing the small pink sweetener packet, she eyed the donuts sitting innocently on the counter as she dumped in the Sweet 'n Low, trying to decide if her diet had any wiggle room for what was certain to be a carb and sugar overload.

But any decision she might have made about that delicious-looking chocolate cruller was put on delay as she heard a heavy male voice behind her.

"Are you honestly going to make him suffer through another round of this crap, Red? I took you for having smarts to know when enough was enough," Jason Gideon growled as he leaned against the beige counters, staring daggers at the woman he had entrusted with his almost-son's care. And right now, he was seriously beginning to doubt his own judgment in having agreed to this cockamamie plan in the first place.

Wrapping her hand around the ceramic mug, Ainsley turned slowly toward her attacker. Taking an even sip of the delicious coffee, she murmured over the rim of the cup, "I think my patient would agree that the session is not yet finished, Agent Gideon. This break is to provide him, and everyone else, with the opportunity to process what has been discussed so far and allow the information to be dealt with in a rational manner. And Dr. Reid appeared to be receptive to that idea."

"Yeah, he's so receptive that he's barred himself in his bedroom," Jason snorted, glaring down at the petite redhead as he grabbed for a mug. Splashing coffee into the cup, he added, sarcastically, "Great bedside manner you've got there, Doc."

"I believe Dr. Reid said that he was going to take ten minutes to gather his thoughts, which I encouraged him to do. That is a far cry from barricading himself from the marauding invaders," Ainsley replied evenly, well aware of the gathered group still in the living room, just a stone's throw away. "And I'd appreciate if you'd lower your voice, Jason," she murmured, with a pointed look toward the nearby crowd. "Unless you'd like the entire group to overhear this conversation."

"I don't particularly give a damn what anybody hears or doesn't hear, Ainsley," Gideon shrugged, modulating his tone none the less. "The only person that I'm concerned about right now is the one in his bedroom, looking pale as a ghost."

"I understand that, Jason," Ainsley nodded, drawing in a deep breath. "And I understand your concern. But if I hadn't thought Dr. Reid was ready to hear the thoughts of his team, I wouldn't have suggested it."

"Look, Red, I supported you, remember?" Gideon snorted, tightening his fingers around the coffee mug in his hand as he resisted the urge to tuck a stray curl behind her ear, his fingers itching to just reach out.

"I wouldn't qualify showing up under duress as support," Ainsley muttered, pursing her lips as she cocked an eyebrow at him, silently daring him to dispute her assessment.

"Hey," Gideon said, holding up a hand as he took a step toward her. "I didn't try and put the kibosh on the entire thing, did I? I think we can agree, for me, that's progress," he noted with pride, nodding to himself.

"Be that as it may, you aren't exactly displaying a positive attitude at the moment," Ainsley replied evenly as she sat down her mug, reaching for a muffin conveniently located on a platter on the sideboard, deciding the oat bran was a better nutrition bet than the delicious-looking donut.

"Sorry, I get a little protective when folks start tearing into my barely healing kid," Gideon retorted, his eyes flashing on the diminutive beauty calmly munching a bite-size muffin.

"No one is tearing into Dr. Reid," Ainsley corrected, swallowing the last small bite as she studiously ignored the siren's call coming from the next platter. "They're telling him the truth about how they feel. Something he desperately needs to hear."

"Not when he's only just started to emerge from his shell, he doesn't," Gideon denied, draining half his mug with one large swallow.

"Sheltering him from the truth won't help him, Jason. At some point, he'll have to face his demons head on. And that begins with taking responsibility," Ainsley said quietly, seriously, brushing her hand gently together and dusting the crumbs from her fingers.

"Which he's done, Ainsley," Gideon growled. "Now, you're just allowing him to be beaten over the head with his mistakes. That's cruel."

"Cruelty is a part of life, as well, Jason," Ainsley replied, sighing as she watched his face tighten, wanting him to understand that she was only trying to help her patient. Holding up her hand, she shook her head. "Let me do what I'm good at, Jason. No one out there," she said calmly, nodding toward the living room, "has or will be deliberately cruel. But, he's got to learn to take his lumps."

"Don't push him, Ainsley," Gideon said softly, his shoulders dropping for a moment as he stared at her bright face. "I know Spencer. I know him very well. Better than you...and you're pushing him beyond his comfort zone."

"Good," Ainsley said approvingly, reaching for her mug again, blowing on the still hot drink. "That has to happen, Jason. And the first time it happens, he'll have you to fall back on, if need be. But we have to see how he'll react to stressors. It shows us if he's as far along in recovery as I anticipate that he is."

"You'd better be right about this, Red," Gideon grumbled, shaking his head as he grabbed for the large donut in the middle of the platter.

"I believe I am," Ainsley nodded, "but, on the off chance that I'm not, better for us to know that now rather than later. When he might slip again," she added pointedly.

Sighing, Jason leaned against the counter, eyeing her over the rim of his cup as he chomped on the chocolate pastry.

Seeing his contemplative look, Ainsley reached for another muffin, trying to ignore the fact that he was eating the very cruller she had declined. "Let me guess," she murmured, pulling back the paper wrapper, "you're standing over there, silently cursing me for making sense."

"I can do it aloud, if you prefer," Jason offered, smiling slightly as he swallowed the last bite.

"Oh, I'm fairly certain that I could fill in the blanks if I needed to," Ainsley returned, winking at him as she passed him one of the small decorative napkins.

"You've done pretty good so far," Gideon agreed with a chuckle, wiping his lips and balling the napkin toward the nearby trashcan. Clearing his throat, he tilted his head as he said, "You know, you still owe me a replacement dinner."

"I suppose that I do," Ainsley replied softly, averting her eyes, feeling a slight warming in her cheeks. "Although, I hope you know, this one won't have nearly the entertainment value as the last one. It'll probably seem fairly boring by comparison."

"I'm willing to take that risk," Gideon shrugged, draining the last sip from his mug.

"Was there a compliment hidden in there somewhere?" she asked, frowning up at him.

"I guess you'll just have to come out with me again to find out," Jason stated evenly, dropping his coffee cup back to the counter with a thud. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on Reid," he murmured, leaving her to stare after him as he slid quietly from the room.


	77. Chapter 77

**_Author's Note: Good eve, all! A quick thank you to everyone that continues to read, review, alert and favorite our stories. Please, let us continue to hear from each of you. As always, we enjoy hearing your thoughts and feelings on our stories - even when you don't particularly agree with the plotline. In other news, I will soon be starting a discussion forum called, "Idle Chit Chat on Author's Corner", where, hopefully, we can come together and learn more about each other and the challenges each of us face in writing. Subjects could include, finding a beta, dealing with writer's block, etc. And I'm also hoping to do one to one focus threads with authors on all ships and all pairings where we learn about their stories and the challenges they face. I think this could be a wonderful place where unique people could come together and enjoy themselves. And I really want to gauge the level of interest out there. Please let me know what you think of this idea! I really want to hear from you. Thanks again!_**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Seven**

Tapping lightly against the thin paneled door to the corner bedroom Spencer had claimed as his own, Jason listened closely for any sound on the opposite side of the barrier, almost hoping he'd hear the sounds of some kind of anger. At least then he'd know that Reid had found an outlet instead of swallowing down all the detrimental feelings that had harmed him in the past. But, as he expected, his ears met with silence, not even a faint pounding of a fist against a wall to be heard. "Reid?" he called out, just loud enough to be heard through the wood.

"Come in," he heard Spence's fragile voice call softly back.

Cracking open the door, Jason stuck his head inside the room, not pushing any farther until the young man was ready for him to. "Hey. You okay in here?" Jason asked, trying to keep his voice level and unaffected even while his gut churned in turmoil. Parenting, whether the child was young or old, natural or adopted, was obviously not a task for the faint at heart.

"It's harder than I expected it to be," Reid said quietly, lifting his head to meet Jason's eyes across the room as his fingers bunched in the bed's comforter that he sat on. He shook his head at his own words then, realizing how trite, how simple they sounded in comparison to how he felt on the inside. Every word replayed in his mind just then, a virtual vortex spinning out of control, seeming to want to drag him down deeper and deeper. The urge to simply hide out, to bury himself underneath the covers like a three year old hiding from the thunder, was almost overwhelming. Whispering to himself as much as to Gideon, he added, "Much harder."

"Wouldn't call it intensive therapy if it was easy," Gideon replied, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him with a click as he watched Reid's hand bury into the soft fabric, knowing that his adopted son had once again found a security blanket of sort.

"They're angry at me, Jason," Reid whispered, nodding toward the door, mentally imagining the faces that were waiting just beyond the barrier. When he had agreed to meet with his team, also known as his family, as a whole, he wasn't quite certain now that he had considered all the ramifications that such a meeting would create. No, he amended to himself, he was absolutely certain now that he hadn't thought that far ahead. If he had, he wasn't certain that he would be in this position now. He wasn't certain that he would have subjected himself to the onslaught, although he realized that his team, his family, were still holding back the hard punches. Turning back toward Gideon, he added, shrugging, "I know they are."

It went without saying who Reid was talking about, and Jason didn't bother wasting his time pleading ignorance. "Yeah," he nodded slowly, meeting his son's eyes, "They are, a little. You scared the hell out of everybody, Reid. That's not likely to be something they forget easily. But more than being angry, I think the team is worried."

"That I'll fall apart again," Reid said morosely, his fingers picking aimlessly at the bound edge of the overstuffed comforter, hunching his shoulders even further as he felt the air suddenly become heavier, weightier, too much to bear.

"Yeah, I'm afraid so, son," Gideon nodded, dropping into a chair in the corner of the room, stretching his legs out in front of him as he waited for the younger man to respond. As much as it pained him to watch Spencer in this condition, he knew that Dr. Lynde was partially correct in her assessment, knowing that healing required multiple steps with multiple intervention points. But that didn't mean he had to like it, now did it?

"Do you think I will?" Reid asked finally, leveling Jason with a curious stare. For a moment, he told himself that he was only asking to satisfy an intellectual curiosity. But the part of him that was becoming more in control spoke up quickly, reminding him of his commitment to seek the truth in order to heal.

"I think it's possible. Especially if you don't pour yourself into the act of recovering," Gideon replied truthfully, letting out a deep sigh as he leaned his head back. "But as far as I can tell, you're doing everything you can."

"I am, but at times like now, it doesn't seem like enough," Reid muttered, scuffing his shoe against the carpet below his foot.

"Reid," Gideon said, clearing his throat, "I'm a guy that believes that we aren't defined by one action that we commit. I think we're judged on the aggregate...the sum total of what we do. You made a bad choice. But that one lapse doesn't get to define who you are or who you choose to be."

"It's what people will remember, though?" Reid murmured miserably as names of famous philosophers and scientists flew through his mind, men and women whose life works were negated by poor choices they made in their final years. Even a former professor at CalTech, a brilliant man who had impacted the world of physics in a manner yet to be duplicated, was now remembered for his death rather than his life's work. And in that moment, Spencer wondered again if that's what he wanted for his life. For those who were around him.

"They will," Gideon agreed, "until you give them something else to remember." Crossing one leg over the other, Jason shook his head. "You made a bad call that night, Reid. Just like I made one when I walked away from the team all those years ago...when I walked away from you. But at the end of the day, beating myself up for the choice I made then serves absolutely no purpose now. The only thing I can do is look around at the effects my decision had on the rest of you and strive to do better. I think it's the same for you, son."


	78. Chapter 78

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Eight**

"Yeah," Reid replied huskily, shaking his head as he refused to allow the simple explanation to stand without discussion, "the difference is that you thought you were doing the right thing at the time. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I just didn't care."

"But, you can see that, Reid. You aren't walking around blaming anybody else for your mistakes. You see where you wrong. You understand the consequences of your actions. Some people never reach that level of understanding, Reid."

"Why are you trying to make me feel better, Jason? You, better than anybody, ought to be furious with me. I'm the reason you got dragged back here," Reid said, shaking his unkempt hair as he pulled at the comforter again, pulling his legs up on the queen-sized bed.

"I came back because I wanted to, Reid. You know me better than anybody on earth. Do you really think I'd go anywhere that I didn't want to go?" Jason asked with a rueful grin, keeping his eyes on the young man.

"I don't know," Reid drawled, leaning his head against the heavy wooden headboard. "From what I've heard, it was JJ and Rossi that went to find you. Singularly, they're formidable. Unified, they're just scary," Reid said, releasing a small chuckle, feeling his heart lighten for a moment as he thought of the couple that had essentially helped take over his life.

"I won't deny that," Gideon smirked. "But you can rest assured that once I learned the gravity of the situation, I was more than willing to come home. Perhaps, this gave me the excuse I was looking for," he shrugged, cocking one brow as he caught Reid's eye. "Maybe it was fate."

"You don't believe in fate," Reid replied absently, his brow furrowing as he pulled his legs up to his chest.

"And you really do remember everything anybody ever says," Gideon teased, smiling benignly at the younger man. For a moment, he remembered the first time he had met the young genius, his talents and abilities evident even then. The nineteen year old Spencer Reid had literally quoted entire sections of his lecture back to him, verbatim, with analytical analysis provided with every sentence. While others often viewed that skill as a gift, a parlor trick of sorts, Jason had always seen the great burden that came along with the benefits.

"I can't help it," Reid replied defensively, his brows drawing together as he loosened his grip on the covers, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"I know that, son," Gideon soothed calmly, holding up a hand to soften whatever blow Reid thought had just been thrown. "It wasn't a criticism. Just an observation."

"Some things, I wish I could forget," Reid mumbled, dropping his gaze back to the carpet. After a long, slow minute, he muttered, mostly to himself but also to the man he considered to be his father, "Do you know that I remember every insane thing that my mother ever rambled?"

"That must be hard," Gideon replied softly, deliberately keeping his words neutral, feeling that his young charge needed to talk the subject through as he examined his feelings.

"It is," Reid nodded, his lips twitching to the side as he considered that very fact. "At the time, I hated it, Jason," he confided guiltily, raising his eyes for a moment, just long enough to catch a glimpse of the other man. "I used to wish she'd just stop talking. That she'd just shut up. Now, I'd give anything just to hear her one more time. Sometimes, I think she'd have understood better than anybody why I did what I did."

"You don't think she'd have condemned it?" Gideon asked gently, leaning forward in his chair.

"I think she knew what it was like just to want the pain to stop," Reid said evenly, his mother's face flashing through his mind just then, her determined smile and raised brows so uniquely her. "I think she jumped, Gid. I don't think she fell. Medication or not, I think she knew what she was doing when she stepped out on that ledge."

"Maybe," Gideon assented. "But if you could have, you'd have pulled her back, wouldn't you?" Gideon questioned quietly.

"Yes," Reid admitted hoarsely, not doubting himself or the answer he gave, his mind assuring him that he was telling the truth.

"Then you understand why we're all fighting so hard for you here and now," Gideon replied, watching as Reid's shoulders seemed to relax.

"Yes," Reid nodded slowly, beginning to make the correlation in his mind, "When put into that context, I suppose I do." Straightening, Reid looked at Jason across the short length of the bedroom. "I don't want to let anyone else down, Jason."

"Then don't. Do the work, Reid. I'll help you. We'll all help you. But, you have to let us. You have to let us know when you're overwhelmed. You're a profiler. You know how to camouflage your feelings. If you're serious about getting better, you've got to drop the facade and allow us in."

"You can see past it," Reid charged softly, dropping his legs down slowly as he glanced toward the door, the muffled sound of a voice filtering through the wood for a moment.

"That's because you and I are more alike than the others," Gideon replied softly. "That's why I kick myself for leaving every single day. I might have been able to stop this before it began if I'd only been here."

"I don't think anybody could have stopped me. But, it's nice to know that you would have tried," Reid said, his voiced hushed as he let out a deep sigh, raising his eyes to stare directly at the older man.

"Well, I don't intend on leaving again, Reid. So, be aware that I'll be here to try if that urge creeps in on you again," Gideon told him gently. And for the first time since his return, Spencer Reid actually looked like he believed in someone again.


	79. Chapter 79

******_Author's Note: Thanks to everyone still reading and reviewing our stories. We adore hearing from you. A few housekeeping notes for today...two interviews with two of our amazing fellow authors have been posted today at the discussion forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". Foreverpadfoot and Dustytiger graciously agreed to be my first participants. Please check out their interviews at the forum and take a look at some of their wonderful work. If anyone has a favorite author that they'd like to see interviewed or learn more about, shoot me a PM and I'll see if they're amenable. As always, I really love hearing from you guys! It's an honor to be allowed to write for you. Thanks, again._**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Seventy-Nine**

Her eyes staring blindly toward the far edge of the front lawn, JJ curled up as tight as her body would allow her, jiggling the chain to the porch swing as she did. Feeling the slight rocking motion set into place, she leaned her head against the high curved back of the let herself sway along with the swing.

She wasn't certain how long she had just stared off into space, the evening air cooling around her as she let her mind review the details of the day. But no matter what she thought about, it seemed that Spencer's face kept floating in front of her, his pained expressions still tugging at her heartstrings as she heard his voice over and over in her mind. How in the world had she ever thought that today was going to be a good idea? How?

Jerking as she felt the heavy swing shift, JJ blinked rapidly as a soft blanket dropped over her lap. Turning her head slowly, she focused on the dark eyes of the man now seated beside her, his arm draped over the back of the swing. Smoothing his hand over her silky hair, Dave asked as he settled her closer, "You okay, Bella?"

Shrugging as she snuggled under the light cover, grateful for the warmth since the evening air had grown much cooler than she thought, JJ answered stiffly, "I'm fine, Dave."

Shaking his head as he slid his hand over the curve of her stomach, he stared down into her eyes, the shadows obvious even in the dimming outdoor light. Not that he was surprised, he thought to himself, the afternoon having been a trying event for all of them. "Baby okay?"

Nodding as she let out a sigh, JJ felt him cover her hand with his, letting him lace their fingers as he pressed them against the baby bump. "She's fine. Other than a few somersaults earlier, she's been quiet as a church mouse."

"Much like her mother," Dave observed, pushing his foot against the planked floor, setting the swing into motion. From the first night that JJ had spent at Little Creek, he had learned that she enjoyed this swing more than any other area of the house. Dropping his hand to her hair, he added, voice even, "You've not said a word since we got home, Jen."

Shrugging again as she tightened her fingers around his, she whispered, closing her eyes for a moment, "I don't know what to say, Dave. I hated leaving Spencer like that."

"You did what you could, Jen," Dave sighed, silently worrying as he noted the tense lines bracketing her bow mouth. The words of her obstetrician rolled through his mind, a stern reminder that stress was not good for mommies or babies. "You invited both him and Gideon out here tonight."

Snorting at that observation, JJ cast her lover a cold look as she loosened her fingers from his, her shoulders straightening. "Yeah, after the hard time you gave him, I'm sure this is exactly where he wanted to be."

He didn't need to be a profiler to hear the underlying resentment and hostility beneath her clipped words. Staring down into her closed face, her eyes completely unreadable, he shook his head as he let out a sigh. "Don't do that, Jen."

"What?" JJ muttered, turning to stare out across the property, allowing her eyes to focus on the pond in the distance. Anything was better at this exact moment than dealing with the entire situation.

"Shut down because you're angry with me," Dave replied evenly, rocking the porch swing with a push of his foot against the wooden planks of the deck.

"Who says I am?" JJ retorted, keeping her eyes averted, shifting against him so that her back was pressed against his side.

"It's pretty obvious, JJ. You're stiff as a board, your answers are as cold as the Arctic tundra, and you won't look at me. I don't need a neon sign, babe," Dave replied patiently, sliding his hand down her side to rest on her thigh. "Now, are we gonna talk about this or not?"

Okay, she thought to herself with a sharp breath, he wanted honesty? She could give him honest. And he had better be prepared to take it. "You were deliberately cruel to a man that has been through hell," she accused, shifting heavily to turn and glare up into his dark, unreadable eyes. "Then, to add to the insult, you basically made me into what equated to Spence's crutch. It was contemptible," JJ spat, tightening her hand around the curved edge of the handmade swing.

"I think you're mistaking honesty for cruelty," Dave shook his head, determined to make the woman he loved realize that he was not the enemy here. "I told the truth. Somebody had to. The kid fucked up, JJ. Massively."

"He knows that, Dave. You didn't need to beat him over the head with it," JJ snapped angrily, jerking her head to the side as she glared up at his unruffled expression. "Good God, haven't you ever made a mistake? I can think of three right off the top of my head if you need a few hints," JJ huffed, his three failed marriages hovering foremost in her thoughts these days. She couldn't help but focus on those other women, those women that had shared his life throughout the years.

"Of course I have," Dave sighed, staring down into her flashing sapphire eyes. "But I take responsibility for them, JJ. I own it. Spencer has to do that, too," Dave insisted, hoping to God that she was willing to listen to reason. He was not the Antichrist here, damn it. "Coddling him isn't going to serve any purpose at all."

"So your version of "tough love" is obviously the answer, huh?" JJ replied bitterly as she wondered if he would ever understand how she felt. "Is that how understanding you'll be with this child, Dave?" JJ asked, resting a hand over her swollen belly, rubbing her fingers against the tightening she felt underneath the skin. "If there's an issue that she has to confront, is your best advice going to be to suck it up?"

"Now, you're being unfair," Dave retorted, blowing out a heavy breath as he grabbed for the falling blanket, tucking it back around her stiff legs. "I've never said that Spencer needed to suck it up. I'm well aware that he has some pretty heavy issues. But treating him like a child isn't the way for you to help him solve his problems. YOU can't fix it for him, JJ. HE'S got to do the work."

"And he's trying!" JJ spat, throwing up her hand as she barely resisted the urge to use it to slap some sense into him. "But not all men are born tough, Rossi," JJ hissed, shaking her head. "Not all of them have a superiority complex built into their genes."

"Is that what you think of me?" Dave asked softly, his anger slowly building at her careless words. How could she be accusing him of these things when he had stood beside her, beside Reid, for these last months, never failing to support them both throughout this entire ordeal?

"I think you see a weakness and exploit it. And that's what you did to Spence this afternoon. It's what you did to me," JJ bit out, her anger fueled by the fear she still remembered seeing in Spencer's eyes. "Dave, the all-knowing, spoke and we were all forced to listen," she said, gesturing widely into the dimming night air.

"You're being ridiculous," Dave snapped, his words hanging heavy in the humid air. "I was asked for my opinion...my input...which you told me to give before we ever got there, I might add...and I gave it! Now, you wanna crucify me for the way I see things," Dave snapped, his eyes clashing with hers.

"Not because of the way you feel, Dave. But because sometimes you have the tact of a elephant," JJ retorted, getting angrily to her feet, the light cover crumpling at her feet. "I just can't make you see that...aaahhhhh," she moaned, bending at the waist as she clutched her stomach in surprise and pain.


	80. Chapter 80

**_Author's Note: Thank you so much for the continued support of the readers. Your reviews and PMs mean a lot! Please check out the new thread on our discussion forum "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". It's called "The Power of the Almighty Review". Thanks!!_**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty**

Jumping out of the swing the moment he saw her body bow, Dave wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he bent his face next to hers. "Jen!" he bit out, more terrified than he'd ever remembered being in his life, their earlier discussion suddenly erased from his mind.

Breathing shallowly through her mouth, JJ let herself fall against his strong chest as she moaned. "Cramp! Oh good God, that hurts!" she huffed, squeezing her eyes shut as the pain seemed to build to a startling crescendo within her womb.

Easing her back down on the still moving swing, her body held stiffly as she winced again, Dave covered her hand against her stomach with his as he said, fear flooding his mind, "Jen, babe, is this the first one? Have you had any others?"

Swallowing as she felt the sudden tightness start to release slightly, JJ grabbed for his hand as she whispered, "It's letting up, I think." Sighing in relief as the vice on her stomach seemed to relax, she tried to catch her breath, praying that this was a simple anomaly. It had to be, she told herself, her fingers pressing harder against her tummy.

"Answer my question," he demanded softly, linking their fingers as he knelt in front of her, searching her face for any more signs of pain. Damn it, how the hell had he missed this?

Letting out a deep breath as the pain seemed to recede, leaving her with just a dull ache in her lower stomach, JJ raised her eyes to his as she murmured, hoarsely, "That was the worst one, Dave. The others have just been…"

"The others?" Dave interrupted sharply, his hand tightening around hers as he leaned in closer, his knees pressing hard against the wooden floor. "What others, Jen? How long have you been having these pains like this?"

Shaking her head as she ran her free hand shakily over her cheek, JJ said, dropping her eyes away from his guiltily, "Earlier today, before we left to go to the therapy session. They were barely noticeable compared to that one, though. But my doctor said that I could have some minor aches and pains along the way, remember?"

"What I remember is specifically asking how you felt before we ever left for the damn therapy session and you telling me that you felt fine," Dave retorted as he pushed up off the floor to sit beside her, smoothing his hand in gentle circles over her swollen belly, forcing himself to breath normally.

"Dave, there was no reason to worry you over a couple of Braxton-Hicks contractions," JJ sighed, leaning her head gratefully against his shoulder as his gentle hand slid over her. "Besides, we had more important things to focus on. We had to be there for Spencer," she insisted with wide eyes. "He needed me."

"Hey," Dave replied quickly, tilting her chin to force her eyes to his, "Nothing is more important to me than you and this baby, Jen. Nothing. I need the two of you."

"I didn't mean it like that," JJ groaned, shaking her head, her cheek rubbing against his calloused fingertips. "I just meant that a few fake contractions do not a crisis make," she explained, praying that that's all they were, her body's way of preparing her for events to come. Isn't that what all the books had said?

"What I just saw didn't look very fake to me," Dave countered with a shake of his head, feeling her stomach begin to tighten beneath his splayed palm again. "Jen?" he questioned softly, narrowing his gaze on her paling cheeks as she seemed to draw in a deep breath.

"Hmmm," JJ winced as she dropped her eyes, biting her lip as she felt that familiar pain building across her abdomen. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This couldn't be happening, could it?

"I think we need to get your doctor on the phone and get you to the hospital, Bella. No more arguing. This takes precedence over everything else," Dave declared firmly, digging his cell phone out of his pocket with one hand as he kept the other one pressed firmly against her stiffening stomach.

"But we still have another two months," JJ replied worriedly, raising her eyes back to his as she fought the sudden wave of fear in her soul. "It's too early for this to be anything other than Braxton-Hicks," she added, trying to convince herself as much as him, wracking her mind as she tried to remember every piece of information she'd read on premature labor.

"Which is why we're going to get things checked out," Dave replied calmly, punching numbers into his phone as he reminded himself to remain calm. Panicking now wouldn't help either of them, and he had a feeling that they both needed all of their wits about them right now.

Listening as Dave quickly explained the situation to her doctor, JJ watched him nod as he eased her to her feet and close the phone one handed. "What did he say?" JJ asked tightly, swallowing hard as she felt her lower back start to tense, that band of pain pulling tighter and tighter.

"He said that we shouldn't worry and that he's going to meet us at the hospital," Dave replied evenly as he gently pulled her up out of the swing, helping her down the decks few steps toward the SUV.

"But..." JJ began, her eyes tearing up as she realized this might be more serious than she anticipated. She had fought for months to let this baby know how much she loved her, wanted her, needed her. She couldn't lose her now. Not at all.

Opening the passenger door on his SUV, Dave guided her inside the cab as he caught sight of her watery eyes. "Bella," he whispered, cupping her cheeks as he watched her blink rapidly, her lips starting to quiver.

"It's my fault," she whispered, her throat tightening as she tried to force the words out, her hands pressed tightly to her stomach. "I got upset and if something goes wrong, I'll..."

"Hey...if this is anybody's fault, it's mine," Dave denied, stroking her cheeks as swept away the sole teardrop that hovered on her skin. "I'm the one that goaded you. But, I promise you, our daughter is going to be just fine."

"Promise?" JJ asked shakily, needing his reassurance, his strength. She could no longer imagine living her life or raising her daughter without him, especially after everything they had been through.

"I swear," Dave vowed solemnly, leaning forward to press a kiss to her sweaty forehead. "Now, let's just get you to the hospital, okay?" Dave soothed, easing her legs inside and deftly snapping her seatbelt into place as he silently cursed himself for arguing with her. What the hell was he thinking? He should have kept his damned mouth closed, with her and with Spencer. Now, as he anxiously moved to his side of the car, he realized that could very easily lose something that had become more important to him than his own life.

And as he climbed inside the black Escalade, he promised himself, that if God would just grant him this one miracle, he'd make it up to her...to both of them.


	81. Chapter 81

**_Author's Note: Thanks to everyone following, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories. We continue to appreciate your ongoing support. Please, travel over to our discussion forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". Today we've posted a great "Getting To Know" interview with the very talented hxchick, author of "An Unconventional Family". As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds._**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-One**

Frowning as he stared down at the phone that he had just hung up, Jason Gideon felt himself having a momentary crisis of judgment. From what Rossi had just told him, he wasn't completely certain if he should share that information with his young charge just yet, especially after the afternoon they had just experienced. But he also knew that he had promised to not keep important things from Spencer, to not try to shield him from the real world.

The conundrum continued.

Glancing over his shoulder at the closed door to the young man's bedroom, Gideon grabbed the phone back up as he quickly pressed the flat buttons, telling himself that he was making the right choice. Outside of JJ herself, who happened to be the very reason he was having this dilemma, only one other person could help him at this moment.

Hearing the cultured voice on the other end of the connection finally answer, after seven rings, Gideon griped into the phone as he turned toward the kitchen, "Took you long enough, Red. You ignoring my calls?"

Sighing as she forced herself to keep her voice even, Ainsley Lynde sank down into her comfortable sofa as she wondered exactly why she had even bothered to answer the phone. No, she told herself sternly, you know why you answered. This is the same number your patient would have called you from, and you wouldn't ignore his call, especially after the afternoon session they had just experienced. "Gideon, is there something you want? If not, then…."

"Don't even thing about hanging up on me," Gideon interrupted as he stomped into the small kitchen, grabbing a coffee mug and filling it with the last bit of coffee, draining the pot. "Put on your therapist hat for a minute and tell me how much damage I'm gonna do to Spencer if I tell him that JJ might be in labor."

"Wh-what?" Ainsley frowned as she straightened up suddenly, doing some quick mental math regarding JJ's pregnancy. "Jason, it's too soon," she groaned as she winced, well aware of the physical ramifications of early labor.

"Thanks for the newsflash, Doc. Maybe you missed your calling. Obstetrics sounds much more up your alley," Gideon retorted sarcastically, shooting an apprehensive look towards Reid's closed door, hoping it stayed closed for the coming minutes. "Look, JJ's got a whole team of doctors at her disposal. Rossi's made sure of that. Right now, I need you to tell me if now is the time to tell Reid."

Tightening her fingers around the receiver, Ainsley demanded as she dropped her feet to her thick rug, "Tell me what you know so far."

"Rossi called about ten minutes ago and said that he and JJ were in route to George Washington Memorial to meet her obstetrician. She was having contractions at what were about seven minute intervals. He was going to call as soon as he knew more. He left it up to me whether to tell Spencer or not. And I am now seeking expert advice. Got any?" he asked impatiently, rolling his eyes as he leaned back against the counter.

Resisting the urge to issue a scathing retort, Ainsley forced herself to keep her response carefully neutral, well aware that Jason was feeling the stress of two members of his family in jeopardy. If there was one thing she'd learned from this small tightly knit group of people, it was that they all considered each other family. "Yes, I do. You are going to wait until I arrive to make any decisions. Then, if you choose to tell him, we'll do it together."

"But you think we ought to go ahead and tell him, don't you?" Jason asked softly, dropping his head into his hand and smoothing his brow as he let out a deep sigh, feeling his stomach clench at the thoughts of adding another worry to Spencer's already weighted shoulders .

"Yes, I do," Ainsley nodded as she tucked the phone between her shoulder and ear, rising from her own couch to look around the room for her keys and purse, moving quickly toward the side table at the front door. Yanking open the heavy security door as she grabbed the necessary items, she continued, "Dr. Reid abhors lies and deceit. Misleading him now could cause him to assume that we don't trust him or his judgment. Therefore, I believe complete honesty is our best course...at least once we find out exactly what we're being honest about."

"Agreed," Gideon nodded, allowing himself to feel relieved as he heard the distinctive sound of a car engine starting across the telephone line. "You're on your way?" he asked, hoping the fear currently setting up residence in his gut wasn't reflected in his voice.

Hearing the slight waver in the older man's voice, Ainsley's heart contracted unexpectedly. Oh, this was bad. According to every rule book and ounce of common sense that she supposedly possessed, she wasn't allowed to have feelings for a patient or his family. But somewhere along the way, she'd grown to like these people. She genuinely respected Dr. Reid...and Jason Gideon...well, she severely doubted the AMA would smile at the way her heart fluttered whenever she was within three feet of him. In all her years of practicing her profession, she'd always maintained a professional distance, believing that to be best for all involved. But him....these people...they'd affected her.

"Ainsley?" Jason asked, furrowing his eyebrows when no reply was forthcoming, wondering for a moment if the not-so-trusty cell phone company had dropped the call.

Jerking at his voice filling her ear as she maneuvered her car down her street, she cleared her throat. "Yes. I'm here, Jason. And I'll be there shortly."

"How shortly?" he asked, glancing uneasily toward Reid's door again, telling himself that he was imagining that he had heard a sound in that direction. "He's gonna know something's wrong the second he sees me."

"Where is he now?" Ainsley asked, clicking on her turn signal as she turned out onto the highway.

"In his room. He was exhausted after that session," Gideon mumbled absently, glancing at his watch again, mentally gauging the drive time at this time of day.

"Understandable," Ainsley nodded, her fingers tightening around the steering wheel. "He'll probably rest for at least an hour. I think you're safe until you hear from Agent Rossi. Did he give any indication of how JJ was holding up?"

"She's scared," Gideon sighed, swallowing hard as he replayed the conversation in his mind. "And so was he. He was doing a convincing job for JJ's benefit, but I've known Dave for a long time. And he's terrified."

"It's a natural response, Jason," Ainsley soothed over the phone line, quickly scooting around a slow-moving sedan.

"Not in Rossi, it isn't," Gideon snorted, remembering the man's poker face well from years of working side by side. "That man doesn't get scared."

"That man has never been a father before," Ainsley pointed out, correctly sensing Jason needed her reassurance. "There's a great deal of difference between facing down serial killers and watching someone you love in danger. You should know that from personal experience."

"I guess," Jason grudgingly admitted. Hell, she was right. Nothing had scared him more than seeing Reid sinking into despair...and that kid wasn't biologically his, either. Apparently nurture was just as strong as nature when it came to matters of the heart.

"I'll be there soon, Jason," Ainsley said softly, feeling her heart soften even more as she imagined the worried look on his face. Oh no, she told herself sternly, this was not good at all.

Straightening as he let himself trust that she would indeed arrive soon, Gideon nodded to himself. "Be safe. We'll be waiting."


	82. Chapter 82

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Two**

Blinking rapidly as he stepped out from his temporary bedroom into the short hallway, Spencer Reid kept his eyes glued to the Berber carpet as he shuffled toward the living room. With each step, he realized that his limbs seemed to be growing heavier and heavier, although he knew on a scientific level that such a thing was theoretically impossible. He had been asleep for the last few hours, so his body should be well-rested, shouldn't it?

Drawing in a deep breath, he told himself that he was just experiencing the physical manifestation of the emotional upheaval he had recently experienced, a temporary condition that would pass like it always did. Just put one foot in front of the other, he mentally challenged himself, remembering his desire for physical nourishment. He knew that Jason had been keeping his favorite orange juice in the refrigerator, and he let himself focus on the refreshing taste of that simple treat.

But his focus was broken as he heard soft voices in the living room, his eyes raising quickly as he realized that Jason was no longer alone. He had clearly expected his almost-father to be waiting for him, to be concerned enough to be standing watch as he always was. But he hadn't expected to see his therapist again, knowing that the doctor had left earlier with the other members of his family.

Cocking his head to the side, his hair falling over one shoulder, Spencer flicked his eyes from an obviously concerned –looking Ainsley to Jason's tight face as he asked, confused, "Have I been asleep that long? It's still the same day, isn't it?"

Smiling reassuringly at her favorite patient, Ainsley slid to the edge of the couch as she met his sleep-laden eyes. "Yes, Dr. Reid, you're correct. Your time perception is still on track."

"Then did I miss a scheduled session? I wasn't aware of another session for this evening, so…"

"She's not here to put you through the ringer again, son," Jason interrupted, keeping his eyes glued to the young man he considered to be his child. Waving his hand toward the blonde therapist, he explained, "I asked her to come back. I thought you and I both could benefit from her presence tonight."

Startled, Reid glanced sharply at Gideon. "Why would you say that, Jason?" he asked hesitantly, aware that the other man looked unnaturally tense, the lines around his eyes and mouth far more drawn than normal. "What happened?" Reid asked, his voice hushed as he felt his heart begin to thud in his chest.

"Son, I want you to sit down for a minute," Jason requested, nodding toward the armchair. Christ, this was the last thing he wanted to do to the man that had been more son to him than anyone in his life. It was a well known fact that Reid loved JJ. Maybe not in the traditional sense that could be explained by theoretical textbooks, but an unbreakable bond had formed between the two of them during the Tobias Henkel case years ago that had remained untouched to this day. And in Reid's already unsteady condition, Jason wasn't entirely sure what this new development would do to the less than sturdy foundation of his recovery.

"Jason?" Reid asked uncertainly, dropping his gangly form into the blue Windsor armchair in the corner.

"Rip the bandage off," Ainsley advised, watching as Spencer's eyes grew more worried, his arms wrapping around his stomach in a protective manner. In her professional experience, the unknown could be scarier than facing whatever the issue was in many circumstances. And she strongly suspected that was the case in this instance.

Nodding slightly in acknowledgement, Jason looked at Reid. "Listen, Spencer, Dave called a few minutes ago."

"Rossi?" Spence repeated, undoing his arms to clench his lean fingers around the edges of the cushion as he straightened in his seat. "Why would Rossi be calling?"

"Son, JJ began having some contractions earlier this evening," Gideon began calmly, his eyes firmly focused on the younger man's face, watching for any signs of distress.

"But, it's too early," Reid denied immediately, automatically shaking his head as he focused on the medical aspects of the situation, his mind shifting into analytical gear. "Way too early, Jason."

"I realize that, Spencer," Gideon agreed, nodding again. "And as of the time Dave called, the contractions had began to slow," Jason explained, speaking slowly, soothingly, letting each word settle carefully without overwhelming him with too much information at once.

"There are a whole plethora of medications that can delay labor, Dr. Reid," Ainsley added as she pushed up from the couch, taking a step closer to the paling man. "And if one fails, another might work."

"This is my fault," Reid whispered, shaking his head as he lifted a hand to push his hair out of his eyes, unable to stop his mind from recalling his friend's expressions, her worry from earlier that day. "She was so upset this afternoon and this is what resulted."

And this was exactly what he had expected to happen, Jason thought darkly as he cringed. Reid was going to blame himself and take responsibility for reactions beyond his control, reactions that no one could have predicted or prepared for. "That isn't true, Reid," Jason replied slowly, shaking his head as he refused to allow his son to shoulder blame.

"How can you say that?" Reid snapped heavily, surging abruptly to his feet to pace in tight circles.

"Because it's true," Ainsley said, moving forward to intercept Reid, well aware of the downward spiral that would manifest if she didn't interrupt the behavior pattern. "Premature labor can occur for a variety of reasons, Dr. Reid...or absolutely no reason at all. Right now, JJ is in the best possible place she could be, being taken care of by trained professionals. This isn't anyone's fault," she insisted, reaching out to touch Spencer's stiff arm, to draw his attention to the physical rather than to the theoretical floating through his mind.

"If she hadn't been worried about me then..."

"We could play the "if" game all night, Spencer," Gideon sighed in interruption, standing to move beside Ainsley. "Right now, we need to concentrate on what is."

"Will Rossi allow me to see her?" Reid questioned worriedly, his teeth worrying his lower lip as he met Jason's eyes. "I know he's got to be furious with me..."

"The only person Dave is furious with is himself," Gideon countered, meeting Spencer's heavy eyes reassuringly. "He's blaming himself now, too."

"Why?" Reid asked blankly, cocking his head to the side as he frowned again. "If anyone is responsible, it's me. Rossi hasn't done anything but take care of JJ since she let him into her life. It's obvious how much he loves her."

"In traumatic situations," Ainsley explained smoothly, gauging her patient's reaction as she kept her hand on his arm, "those closest to us naturally blame themselves whether there's any validity to it or not. I'd imagine that Agent Rossi is experiencing many of the same feelings you are, Dr. Reid."

"Spencer," Reid corrected absently, turning to stare out the window as he let out a deep sigh, pulling his arm away to tuck tightly against his side. "Can we go to the hospital?" he asked Gideon, eyes widening. "Please."

"The whole team is headed that way," Gideon nodded as he watched the young man seem to fold himself tightly, his fingers clenching at the edge of his sweater as if searching for something that could keep him from falling apart.

"You're coming, too, right?" Reid asked Ainsley worriedly, jerking his eyes back to the woman standing beside Jason.

Nodding, Ainsley said quietly, "I'll help in any way I can, Spencer." And in those few moments, those few words, Ainsley realized just how important this quasi family had become to her.


	83. Chapter 83

**_Author's Note: Many, many thanks to all the wonderful readers taking time to review, favorite and alert our stories. We are truly grateful to each of you. Please travel over to our new forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" and check out our latest interview with the lovely, talented JenRar. We also have a new thread started called, "Grins and Grimaces of the Fanfiction Site". Hope you all find something there that you enjoy. And as ever, if any of you have any requests for threads or author interviews, please let us know. We love hearing from you. Thanks so much! See you Tuesday!_**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Three**

Staring up at the ceiling in the small generic hospital room, JJ let out a deep sigh as she felt her back clench for a moment. Feeling Dave's hand tighten around hers, she whispered before he could voice his worry, "It wasn't a contraction, Dave. It was just my back this time. I think I tensed up too much earlier."

Pulling her hand to his lips, Dave pressed a soft kiss against her knuckles as he muttered, "It's no wonder, Jen. But the doctor said you need to relax, remember?" He knew he was partially speaking to himself as much as to her, his heart still pounding erratically at the thoughts of her being in danger.

Dropping her eyes back down to his, JJ shook her head as she met his dark eyes, the concern evident in his gaze. "I'm trying, Dave. I really am."

"I know you are, babe," he soothed, easing down onto the bed beside her just as another chill suddenly overtook her. Tugging the blue woven blanket up over her arms, he asked softly, making a stern attempt at keeping his voice even, "Are the shakes getting any better?"

Nodding, she turned slightly toward him as she felt her body shiver again, the side effects of the medicines working their way through her system. "It's not as bad this time," she whispered through her chattering teeth, dropping a hand to press against her stomach as she mentally willed her little girl to stay tucked tightly in place.

"The nurse said that it should be getting much better soon, honey," he whispered back, hating the fact that she was suffering in any form or fashion. But knowing that the contractions had stopped had partially relieved his worries, the miracles of modern medicine once again coming to their rescue. He had made a promise to himself earlier that he wouldn't allow her to become upset again, not over anything, and he firmly intended to keep that pledge. No one, not even himself, was going to cause her one ounce of pain or worry again, not when it put her life or their daughter's life in danger. Dave may have projected a stern persona, a hardened gruff exterior, but this woman, his Jennifer, she had the ability to break through that shell and turn him into a melted lump of goo.

Hearing the soft swish of the wooden door leading into the maternity room, Dave narrowed his eyes as he jerked them toward the entrance. Seeing Aaron's dark head followed closely by Emily's equally dark hair, Dave muttered, "I see the Calvary's arrived."

Glancing toward the doorway, JJ tried to smile as much as her chattering teeth would allow. Shivering again uncontrollably, she felt Dave tug the blanket more securely around her. "Breathe, Bella," she heard him remind her as the tremors shook her body, and she nodded as calmly as she could as she clutched at the generic hospital gown covering her stomach, her fingers needing something to hold.

Eyes wide as she watched her friend seemed to be wracked in pain, Emily whispered worriedly, "Dave?"

Brushing a stray tear off JJ's cheek, Dave's eyes never left her face as he said absently, "It's the medication. This is one of the side effects, Prentiss. She's okay." Cupping her clammy cheek with a gentle hand, he whispered, "Aren't you, babe?"

"O-kay," JJ chattered, another shudder wracking her as she forced herself to breathe deeply, remembering the nurse's warning that holding her breath wasn't good for her or the baby. "W-who else is h-here?" she asked, trying desperately to concentrate on the people around her, needing the diversion.

"Morgan and Garcia just got here. Jason and Reid are on their way," Hotch answered calmly, placing a reassuring palm on Emily's tense back as they stepped further into the dimly lit room. "Everybody will be up here soon demanding answers. Where are we standing now?" Hotch asked calmly, propelling Emily closer to JJ's hospital bed.

Smiling encouragingly at JJ, Dave replied, "We haven't had a contraction in over an hour now, have we, Babe?"

"N-n-no," JJ shook her head, still trembling convulsively, leaning into his touch as he slipped his fingers through her hair.

"They gave her Procardia," Dave explained softly, keeping his voice calm and even as he watched her face contort once again, "and it seems to have done its job. What we're seeing now is just one of the downsides of the drug. Inconvenient, but relatively harmless," Dave continued, squeezing JJ's hand through the covers as she tried to nod.

"You aren't in any pain, are you?" Emily worried, looking her friend over, searching for any signs of true pain in JJ's face.

"N-no," JJ shook her head, the tremors finally gradually slowing, leaving her with a lingering sense of tenderness in her muscles. "No pain at all now that the contractions have stopped. How's Reid?" she asked finally, looking from Hotch to Emily's unreadable face.

"Hey," Dave chided, tugging at her hand gently as he shifted on the mattress, nudging his hip against hers, "We agreed that we were going to let the others take care of Reid until you and the baby were out of the woods," he reminded her patiently, watching her face closely for any signs of continued pain.

"I just want to know that he's okay," JJ replied with a shrug, glancing at Dave's lined face, worry etched in his eyes as he gazed back at her.

"He's fine, Jayje," Emily assured her softly, nodding once as her friend's eyes shifted in her direction. "He's on his way with Gideon and Ainsley."

"Ainsley?" JJ repeated worriedly, her blonde brows furrowing as she tried to push up against the hospital pillow. Shaking her head, she mumbled, "Oh, God, he had a bad reaction, didn't he? That's why Ainsley was there, isn't it?"

"Bella," Dave warned quickly, his voice hardening as he watched the monitor above her head, noting her quickening heartbeat, "Calm down. Nothing's happened. Gideon told me that he was going to call Ainsley as a precautionary measure alone. Nothing else."

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking from one face to another as she clutched at Dave's hand again, blinking rapidly she tried to clear her suddenly blurry vision.

"We're positive," Hotch said honestly, calmly reassuring the young woman that had become as close as a sister. "Gideon just wanted to play it safe and have some backup if he needed it. Reid took the news as well as any of us did, I suppose. None of us particularly liked hearing one of our own was rushed to the hospital."

"I didn't really care for being rushed to the hospital, either," JJ countered with a faint smile, relaxing her shoulders back against the pillows as she felt her muscles start to loosen. "But it appears," she said, relief bleeding into her words as she felt Dave squeeze her fingers, "that our daughter has decided to remain in the oven a while longer, thank God." Looking at Dave with shining eyes, she added with a sigh, "And I'm pretty sure that his daughter and I stole ten more years off Dave's life."

"Yeah, 'bout that," Dave winked, lacing his fingers more firmly with JJ's, "could you use those years sparingly from now on? I'd like to be around to watch this kid get married."

Smiling as she watched the couple exchange a soft look filled with love, Emily said softly, "Okay, we're going to go intercept Garcia and Morgan."

"Yeah, I don't trust her not to tear this place apart brick by brick until she finds you two," Hotch sighed heavily, shaking his head at the thought of his technical genius fueled by worry. "JJ, we'll send Reid in as soon as he gets here, okay?"

"Please," JJ nodded, gripping Dave's hand tightly as she nodded rapidly, shifting uncomfortably against the bed. "I'll feel better once I see him for myself."

"And I'm all for anything that makes her rest easier," Dave added, looking meaningfully at Hotch as the other man slipped out the door.


	84. Chapter 84

******_Author's Note: A quick thanks to everyone still following along with our stories. We genuinely appreciate each one of you. Please, travel on over to our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" and read our latest interview with the multi-talented bonesbird. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds._**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Four**

Her heels clicking loudly in the otherwise silent hospital hallway, Penelope Garcia kept her hand firmly entwined in Derek Morgan's much stronger fingers as she muttered to no one in particular, "This family is completely warped. One simple Saturday. That's all we asked for, wasn't it? But we go from interventions to contractions in less time than it takes most people to change their clothes!"

Well aware that his favorite person would not appreciate his comments, her mood having shifted from concern to worry to fury in a continuous loop for the entire trip to the hospital, Morgan merely nodded as he let her pull him rapidly down the medicinal-smelling hallway. The undertones of dread colored her every word, and he knew she was attempting to hide that fear in every way possible. "I know, Princess. But Rossi said that JJ was doing much better, remember? The contractions have stopped."

"For now," Garcia muttered darkly, shaking her head negatively in an uncharacteristic lapse of her normally cheerful countenance. "My niece has to stay put, because seriously, her Auntie Penelope can't handle another person right now. My dance card is already quite full, thank you very much."

Glancing up as she heard her name softly called, Penelope's eyes widened as she saw the dark-headed super couple of their unit waiting for them just ahead. Pulling Morgan to a stop in front of Emily and Hotch, she demanded, one hand on her hip, "Where's my little buttercup? I want to see her right now."

"We just left her," Hotch replied evenly, nodding to the room behind them as he assured his technical genius, "We told her that you wouldn't be far behind us."

"How is she?" Morgan asked anxiously, rubbing a hand furiously against his bald head as he pulled Penelope back, her footsteps already heading toward the hospital room door. "Is it bad?"

"Actually, it seems like things are beginning to slow down," Emily responded, relief coloring her words as she smiled weakly at her teammates. "JJ said she hadn't had a contraction in over an hour."

"But don't be alarmed by the tremors that she's having," Hotch added quickly, meeting Morgan's eyes as he added, "It's a result of the medication she's taking right now."

"Great, now the baby's gonna get rattled out of her," Penelope grumbled, pressing her lips together as she leaned to the side, glaring around the dynamic duo at the closed door still standing between her and her pregnant gumdrop.

"It's a side effect, Garcia," Emily assured her, letting out a deep sigh as she leaned back against the floral wallpaper-covered wall. "And it looked to be passing as we were leaving. Has anybody seen Reid or Gideon yet?"

"They were pulling into the parking lot as we were walking in the door," Morgan said absently, shifting from foot to foot nervously, his thoughts already tilting toward the young genius and his precarious emotional state. "They should be right behind us," he continued, glancing behind them, half-expecting to hear the elevator doors slide open at any moment.

"Why don't you two go on in before he gets here," Hotch suggested evenly, his eyes encompassing both of the newcomers as he stepped closer to Emily. "We all know that Reid is going to want to spend some time with her...that he's going to need the reassurance of seeing her more than any of us do."

Nodding briefly at her Unit Chief's words, Penelope waved her arms purposefully as Hotch took one second too long to clear a path. "Move aside, people. I'm goin' in," she ordered, barreling toward the hospital room door. Not bothering to knock, Penelope simply strode into the room, her face now wreathed in a mask of positivity, all her negative thoughts banished to her subconscious as she focused on the blonde woman in the center of the rolling gurney. "Gumdrop! The things you get yourself into...you coulda just told me that you wanted to have a slumber party tonight. I'd have cooperated. Although," she tsked, winking at Dave as she stepped closer to the bed, "I have heard that you're a bed hog, but we coulda worked around that pesky detail."

"Pen," JJ sighed happily, her face lightening as her vibrant best friend entered the room like the hurricane she was. Smiling weakly up at the vivacious force that had invaded her space, she murmured, "I wondered how long it would take you to get here."

"Would have been faster, but someone," she muttered, narrowing her eyes at Morgan as she pointed accusingly in his direction, "insisted that pants were not optional."

"I was in the shower, Baby Girl," Derek groaned, sliding into the room to stand behind the now-chipper blonde. "And while you might think my ass is fine, I'm sure the geriatric crowd might not have been impressed."

"God knows, the Italian faction is grateful that you spared us," Dave joked, relieved for the distraction, as Morgan clasped his shoulder.

"How are you two holdin' up in here?" Morgan asked, his eyes easily reading the underlying tension on both of the soon-to-be parents' faces. "Anything I can do?" he offered generously.

Shaking his head as he eased back down on the edge of JJ's bed, Dave replied, "I think we've got it under control for tonight. They're going to keep JJ in here as a precaution and if things stay quiet, they'll let us out of here sometime tomorrow."

"Want company?" Penelope asked brightly as she reached out to fluff JJ's pillow, "I play a mean game of rummy," she winked, reaching over to squeeze JJ's hand. "Or, we could spend some time reviewing human resource files," she offered generously, her eyes widening at that thought. "You know you love learning the dirt on our esteemed colleagues, and I've got a new program that lets me sneak right on by those new protocols that those weenies in admin thought would keep me out."

"No," JJ said tiredly, squeezing Penelope's hand gratefully, knowing that her friends were truly concerned. "You guys all go home and get some rest. As soon as I reassure Reid that everything is okay, I'm going to try and sleep myself. These medications really took a lot out of me."

"Whatever you want, Peaches," Penelope nodded with a jerk of her head. "But I'm just a phone call away and if anything, and by that, I mean if your toe so much as twitches, I expect a phone call," she demanded, leveling a determined gaze at Rossi, daring him to disobey her well-worded orders. "Otherwise, you and the missus are getting a roomie tonight."

"I hear you, Garcia," Dave agreed, holding up a hand to forestall any further warning, knowing from experience that her threats only progressed in severity of bodily damage. "Don't worry. I'll keep everybody posted on any updates. But, hopefully, this was just a glitch and we'll be resuming normal operations tomorrow, albeit at a much slower pace," he said, looking pointedly at JJ, sweeping his finger against her cheek.

"You wound me, Dave," JJ sighed, shifting in the bed as she drew in a deep breath, the slight movement triggering another minor spasm in her lower back. "I've been behaving myself," she argued, ignoring the pain as she kept her eyes glued to his.

"Babe, last week, I found you on a ladder in the garage," Dave snorted, brushing a kiss to her head as he gently rebuked her, well aware that her eyes were once again silently telegraphing her pain levels. Glancing up quickly at the monitor above her head, he let out a deep breath when he realized her blood pressure was still in the manageable level.

"It was an empty box," JJ replied with a shrug, swatting at his arm before crossing her arms over her chest..

"A ladder, JJ," Dave retorted, pursing his lips as he resisted the urge to begin a rant, dropping his hand to the sheet-covered mound of their only daughter.

"I think your climbing days might be over until our newest little team member makes her debut, Buttercup," Garcia chided, her voice brooking no argument as she leaned back against the wall of Morgan's chest. "Otherwise, the good agent Rossi may tie you to the bed and I'll be making sure the restraints are double knotted," she threatened with a smile that said she was only half joking.

"I got it, Guys," JJ nodded, rubbing her straining belly, wrapping her fingers around Dave's as their hands collided.. "After this, I don't think I'll be doing any more than necessary until the munchkin arrives."

"Well," a soft voice agreed as the door opened again, the faint swish of the hinges announcing the new arrival, "I for one think that is an excellent idea."


	85. Chapter 85

**_Author's Note: Thanks to everyone that has been patiently awaiting updates. Real life has been a crazy, frenetic blur of activity on both my and my co-author's part. Hopefully, it will regulate in the next few weeks. Until then, postings on everything a couple of times a week is the best we can hope for. Again thank you to everyone that is still reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting these stories. It means a lot. Please stop by our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" and get to know the multi-talented Kavi Leighanna, one of our core Hotch/Prentiss writers on the site. And, as always, Tonnie and I own nothing._**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Five**

Her eyes shifting immediately toward the newest voice in the small room, JJ met Spencer's light brown eyes as she murmured, trying to smile, "Spence. You didn't need to come out tonight. I'm fine."

Stepping fully into the room, followed by Gideon and Ainsley, Spencer Reid shook his shaggy head as he kept his eyes on the young woman lying in the bed. His lips tightening as he catalogued the machines attached to her and the slight trembling of her fingers, he moved next to her bed as he said, "Where else would I be, JJ?"

"You should be at home, resting," JJ countered as she tried to pull up in the hospital bed, only to feel Dave's hand on one shoulder and Spencer's on the other.

"Stay put," Dave ordered gently, reaching with his free hand to adjust the head of the bed slightly, releasing the button when JJ nodded. Waiting until she was completely comfortable, he slid his hand against her arm for a moment as he stepped back, his eyes closely watching her face and the monitors for any signs of pain.

Reid stuffed his hands into the pockets of his favorite corduroys as he asked, softly, "How do you feel, JJ? Honestly?"

"I'll be fine, Spence," JJ assured him again, pressing her hand to her stomach as she added, forcing her smile to remain solid, "And the baby's fine. The doctor said so. She's just got to stay inside for a bit longer." Recognizing the look of doubt and fear still lingering in the young man's eyes even after her assurance, JJ glanced around the room as she asked, softly, "Would you guys give me a few minutes alone with Spence?"

Nodding quickly, Ainsley surrounded Jason's wrist with one small cool hand when she felt the man tense beside her. "Of course, JJ. We'll be right outside if either of you need us," she said softly, tugging Jason's resistant body toward the door.

"I don't know if..." Jason grumbled, his voice low as he shot a worried look back over his shoulder, his concern for both Spencer and JJ evident in his eyes.

"It'll be fine," Ainsley said quietly, pulling him completely outside the entryway and closing the door softly behind her.

Watching as the only other two occupants of the room hurried out, Dave met JJ's eyes. Shaking his head, he glanced from her to the monitor above her as he muttered, "Babe, I'm not sure if..."

"Dave," JJ replied as she reached for his hand, her voice hushed in the otherwise quiet room, "Please? Just for a couple of minutes?"

Frowning, Dave finally relented as he watched her blue eyes beseeching him. "Fine," he muttered, rising from his chair, giving her still trembling hand one last gentle squeeze. "I guess I could use a fresh cup of coffee anyway. But you stay put and no sudden movements," he ordered, dropping a soft kiss against her forehead.

"I won't," JJ promised solemnly, nodding her agreement as she stared into his dark eyes, the signs of fatigue and worry evident in every line and wrinkle.

Darting a look at Spence, Dave ordered, his tone brusque as he finally let go of JJ's hand, You find me if she has even the slightest twinge before I get back in here, Reid. I mean it."

"I will," Reid assented, nodding gravely as he watched Dave move reluctantly toward the door. Releasing a shuddery breath as he watched the only man that he was sure loved JJ more than he did saunter out the door, Reid turned back to JJ's bedside. "I'm so sorry, JJ," Reid said huskily, dropping his eyes from hers as he stared guiltily at the pale blue blanket covering her legs. He wasn't quite sure how to explain to this woman that he loved like a sister that he would willingly turn back time, if that was a metaphysical possibility, to spare her the grief and pain that he had apparently caused her.

"Don't, Spence," JJ ordered firmly, reaching for his skinny hand and wrapping it in her own as she tugged him down on the edge of the thin mattress beside her. Waiting until he met her eyes again, his gaze tentative, she added, "Absolutely none of this is in any way your fault. So don't blame yourself. Now, THAT would tick me off."

Smiling faintly at her imperious tone, Spence shook his head, blowing out a deep breath as he looked pointedly at the monitors and IVs attached to her. "I don't understand how you can say that. We both know that it isn't any coincidence that this happened after our so-called family therapy session."

"Spence, that has nothing to do with it. My doctor was just in here saying that sometimes these things happen for absolutely no reason at all and then never happen again," JJ shrugged, waving her hand in the air, the clear plastic tubing of her IV floating along with her movements. "It was just an unlucky night."

"Jayje..." Spence began.

"No," JJ said shortly, her eyes narrowing as she recognized the heavy burden of responsibility that he was attempting to unnecessarily bear. "I will not listen to you try to blame yourself for something you had no control over. Do you understand me?"

"Is everything...is she...is it going to be okay? Medically speaking?" Spence asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hear the answer, to place knowledge with the fear that had been raging through his mind for the past half hour.

Nodding reassuringly, JJ squeezed his fingers as she said, "The medication appears to have worked and the contractions have ceased. They're going to keep me overnight tonight and if I don't have any further problems, they'll let me go after lunch tomorrow. Of course, I'm pretty sure that the furthest that Dave plans on allowing me to go is our bed," she admitted ruefully, cocking her head to the side as she leaned back against the pillows once again. "But, I'm not complaining. You can come over and visit. I'll beat you at Trivial Pursuit," she grinned, letting the dare deliberately hang in the air between them, wanting desperately to replace the fear in his eyes with something more positive, more optimistic.

"Sure you will," Reid snorted with a slight roll of his eyes, a small smile beginning to fill his lips. "Eidetic memory, remember? You're toast," he said confidently, settling more comfortably on the hospital bed as he let himself begin to relax.

"We'll see about that, Egomaniac," JJ returned playfully. Silent a moment, content to just take in the calm that had finally settled around them, she asked, "So, are we okay?"

"We're fine...that is, as long as Agent Rossi allows me to live, we're fine," Reid sighed, looking toward the door balefully, half-expecting the older agent to barrel into the room at any moment.

"Dave isn't mad at you, Spence," JJ said softly, squeezing his hand again to draw his attention back to her. "He's not mad at anyone...except maybe himself. It seems like everyone is trying to blame themselves for this and the truth is, sometimes things just happen and it isn't anybody's fault."

"Of all people, this isn't Agent Rossi's fault," Spence snorted. "Gosh, JJ, that man thinks you walk on water."

"Not quite," JJ smiled, closing her eyes for a moment as she felt another tremor start to work its way through her already-tired body. "But close."

"Are you ever going to marry him and put him out of his misery? I'd say he's earned it, wouldn't you?" Spencer asked softly, searching JJ's face, needing to know that his best friend was truly happy, truly felt loved in this relationship.

"After tonight," JJ grimaced, shifting in the bed as she attempted to pull the covers tighter. "Definitely. But, I want to wait until we get home to tell him."

"So, in other words, you're afraid to jinx it," Spencer surmised, his lips quirking. He could recognize JJ's tactics as well as he could his own. Swatting at her other hand, he eased the blanket higher over her stomach, letting the soft fabric drape around her.

"You, Dr. Spencer Reid, know me entirely too well," JJ muttered guiltily, her cheeks reddening as she rolled her eyes, wondering how the focus had shifted from her worry about him to his obvious insights into her personal life.

"It takes a superstitious soul to see it in someone else," Reid grinned with a wink, propping his feet up on the plastic rail of the bed. "But just between you, me and the wall, I don't think you have anything to worry about. That man would wait for you forever, JJ."


	86. Chapter 86

_**Author's Note: Many, many thanks to everyone who continues to read, review, alert and favorite our stories. We truly appreciate each and every one of you. Today, please travel over to our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" and check out our latest "Getting to Know You" interview with the very talented LacytheDemonicDuck. And please, drop us a post or PM and let us know your thoughts on the forum. We'd love your input. Thanks again. And, as always, we don't own Criminal Minds.**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Six**

"Jason, move your woman," Dave growled low in his throat twenty minutes later as he and his one-time colleague stared at Doctor Ainsley Lynde, who was currently draped against the closed door of JJ's hospital room.

"How the hell is that red-headed tornado all of a sudden my problem alone?" Gideon asked sarcastically, glaring at the man standing to his left. "As I recall, you picked her out and everything."

"That was before she started standing between me, the woman I fully intend to make my wife and my unborn daughter. Then, she was the five star chef of the psychological world. Now, she's just the woman standing in my way. I'm thinking she means a little more to you than me."

"Currently?" Jason asked archly, with a pointed look in Ainsley's direction. "Not really. She's the chick standing between me and the man I think of as my son."

"You both realize that I can hear you, right?" Ainsley grumbled, keeping both her hands firmly braced on either side of JJ's doorframe, well aware of the battle lines being drawn all around her. "And I'm STILL not letting either of you through here. In case you missed it, I'm the expert here."

"Nope," Jason shook his head as he took a step forward, his shoes squeaking against the hospital linoleum floor, "You're just the woman in the way."

"Try moving me," Ainsley growled as she narrowed her eyes on the handsome man as he moved toward her, "and you'll be hitting the high notes for the rest of your life. I guarantee it. Better yet, I'll simply call Myrtle. She and her cane could handle both of you with one hand tied behind her frail back. I wouldn't even have to break a nail."

Both men took an involuntary step back at the force of the threat Ainsley cast down, well aware of the demented powers that the elderly Myrtle possessed. Recovering quickly, Rossi shook his dark head as he frowned. "Look, Doc, I'm sure you mean well, but in case you missed it, I'm in love with the woman inside that room." Waving his hand toward the closed door, he declared, "That's MY kid she's trying NOT to give birth to tonight. I belong in there with her."

Nodding in agreement as she met the older man's obviously worried eyes, Ainsley replied softly, "Normally, I would agree with that statement. But right now, both she and Dr. Reid need a moment together to assure each other that the other one is fine."

"Look, I love Reid as much as anybody else on the team, but JJ is my first concern. And right now, I want to make sure she remains as stress-free as possible."

"And while I'm fond of JJ, Reid is my primary focus...and he took a hell of a lot of hits this afternoon," Gideon grumbled, shifting closer to Ainsley as he debated his skills in physically removing her from the spot. "I want to make sure that he doesn't backslide."

"And I'm a paid professional, boys, and I'm telling you that those two need each other right now," Ainsley declared, splitting her stare between the two men as she tightened her grip on the painted metal door facing.

"You realize that I hired you and I can fire you," Rossi threatened, his face flushing as his hand fisted at his side, ignoring the sound of a rolling cart in the hallway behind him.

"Oh yeah," Ainsley drawled as she barely resisted rolling her eyes at the empty threat, "let's see how you pull of that maneuver with JJ, Agent Rossi. Besides, since Dr. Reid is now of what I consider to be sound mind, he's the only one that could release me from service. Sorry," she added, her words decidedly unapologetically.

"Damn it, Red! Move," Jason ordered, trying to reach around her for the door knob, only to have his hand banged unceremoniously against the metal.

Quickly shifting and blocking his approach, Ainsley shook her head. "No," she replied calmly, overlooking his squeak of pain. Pointing toward the chairs on the wall of the hallway, she countered, "Both of you sit down. If Dr. Reid doesn't come out in fifteen minutes, you can go in. Until then, you're both stuck with me."

It was the longest fifteen minutes of both men's lives. While Rossi sat boring a hole in the door with his icy stare between sips of coffee, Jason made endless passes past his seat as he paced the length of the hallway, his mind furiously trying to decided if he was impressed or annoyed with Ainsley's heavy handed technique.

She'd certainly slammed both men into place. Neither he nor David Rossi were particularly easy men to manage. But she'd done it with grace and aplomb. And as a result, he was duly impressed. Pissed, but impressed.

Meeting her crystalline gaze as he slowly paced back down the hallway toward JJ's door, he saw her eyes soften slightly, almost as if she were sorry to put both of them through this harrowing experience. Except, he knew she wasn't. Not really. She was determined that she was right. And the sadder thing was, he believed she just might be. What the hell did that say about his skills?

Finally, as the clock on the wall read 8:15, Gideon saw Rossi rise. Stalking toward the door with heavy steps, Dave ordered, his eyes narrowed, "Okay, lady, I waited out your self-prescribed time limit. Now, move!"

"Gladly," Ainsley smiled just as the door behind her opened and a happy looking Spencer Reid appeared. "Agent Rossi! There you are. JJ was wondering what happened to you," Reid exclaimed as Dave brushed past the younger man.

"Ask your guard dog?" Rossi growled as he smacked his hand against the man's thin shoulder, his only focus on reaching a glowing JJ's side.

"Uhmmm, Jase?" Spence asked in confusion as he turned to look into the hallway, searching for some form of explanation for the sudden turn of events.

Shaking his head, Gideon enlightened, "Dr. Lynde, here," he said, nodding to the slender woman who was currently smiling benignly in his direction, "thought you and JJ could do with a little one on one time. Dave didn't especially appreciate having his plans curtailed. Don't worry about it," he shrugged, relieved to see Reid's eyes looking a little more vibrant than an hour ago.

"But..." Spence began, uncertainly looking from Jason to Ainsley, his shoulders tightening as he shook his shaggy head, "No one gets between Agent Rossi and JJ. Everyone knows that."

Smirking, Gideon raised a dark brow toward the red headed doctor. "Maybe somebody should have explained that to her."


	87. Chapter 87

_**Author's Note: Many, many thanks to everyone who continues to read, review, alert and favorite our stories. We truly appreciate each and every one of you. Today, please travel over to our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" and check out our latest "Getting to Know You" interview with the very talented ArwenLalaith. One of the premiere talents on this site, she's also recently taken over the Criminal Minds Fan Fiction Awards. Also, we have another discussion thread open called, "Creating the Perfect Marriage with Dialogue and Description" Please, drop us a post or PM and let us know your thoughts on the forum. We'd love your input. Thanks again. And, as always, we don't own Criminal Minds.**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Seven**

Hearing the faint sigh coming from the petite blonde safely ensconced in the passenger seat beside him, David Rossi glanced sharply in her direction. His hands tightening worriedly on the steering wheel, he demanded, "Jen? What's wrong, babe?"

Easily recognizing the panicked tone in his words, JJ reached out her hand, squeezing his tense arm gently as she assured him, "Nothing's wrong, Dave. The baby's fine, I promise. I was just thinking , I guess."

He nodded once, forcing himself to relax slightly as her soft words washed over him. The past twenty-four hours had been filled with more worry than he ever wanted to repeat. Now that he was finally able to take JJ back to their home, however, he wasn't going to apologize for his protective tendencies. Reaching out to grab her fingers, he squeezed gently as he said, "Wanna share with me? I've been told I'm a good listener."

"It's nothing, really," JJ tried to dismiss her thoughts, only to have them sneak back to the surface faster than the road was disappearing behind their truck. Sinking deeper into the molded seat, she dropped their joined hands to the gearshift as she added, tiredly, "I'm just trying to mentally prepare for the coming days, I guess."

Dave made an expert turn into their long driveway as he shook his head. "You don't have to worry about anything, Jennifer. All you and the baby need to do is follow doctor's instructions and remain safely tucked in bed for the next two months. I'll take care of everything else."

Smiling weakly at his assertion, JJ pressed her free hand to her obvious baby bump as she murmured, "We know that, Dave. And we trust you to take care of us. I just worry that Spence might…."

"Okay, let's just stop right there," Dave interrupted, his tone gentle but firm as he pulled the truck to a full stop next to the deck steps. The sound of the emergency brake crunching into place filled the small cab as he turned to face the woman he desperately loved. Waiting until her deep blue eyes turned in his direction, he said, "Spencer Reid is in good hands. You, however, are my concern. Worrying about Reid isn't going to help you or the baby."

Her lips tightening, JJ shook her head as she disagreed. "Spencer is…."

"A grown man," Dave declared, then added as he reached for the keys out of the ignition, "I happen to know that Jase intends on installing 24 hour security cameras in the house if necessary. And besides, that she-devil of a doctor won't allow him to fall off any wagon, real or imaginary."

"Ainsley is NOT a she-devil, David," JJ declared automatically, repeating the words she'd been saying for the past twelve hours. But no matter how much she insisted on that fact, it was obvious by the incredulous look on his face that he still didn't believe her. Pinching at his arm, she added, "And even if she is, YOU picked her out."

"That's because I never expected her to turn on ME," Dave insisted, leaning over the console to peck her lips. "Stay put," he demanded, resting his hand over the warm mound of her belly, once again offering up a quick thanks that his daughter was safely inside her mother's womb. "Let me get the door unlocked and I'll come back and get you."

"Fine," JJ nodded, sweeping her fingers against his warm hand, "but then, we're continuing our discussion," she warned, watching as the dark headed man quickly got out of their SUV and jogged up the steps of the deck.

Opening her car door a second later and slipping one arm beneath her still slim legs and the other around her back, Dave picked up their conversation exactly where they'd left it as he lifted her into his arms. "There isn't anything else to discuss," Dave said easily against her ear, pillowing her body against his as he made slow careful steps up the deck with his precious cargo. Nodding to the back door, he waited as JJ pushed it open. "Reid is a big boy with lots of support. He's going to be fine."

"But..." JJ tried to say, tightening her arms around his neck as she felt his muscles cord.

"But, you, on the other hand," Dave said, railroading over whatever objection she might have had, "according to those very qualified doctors we've been paying, are under strict orders to take it easy until you have the baby. I believe they mentioned more than once about eliminating as much stress as you can until after our daughter makes her appearance."

"Spencer does NOT stress me out," JJ growled, glaring at the man she loved as he carried her through the house. "YOU, however..."

"-am trying to do everything humanly possible to ensure everyone's health and safety. Spencer's included, but I'm especially focused on you and my kid," Dave cut her off unapologetically as he eased them both into their bedroom.

"Damn it, Rossi..." JJ hissed, pulling a hand back to tweak his beard.

Watching as her eyes flashed mutinously and her cheeks reddened, Dave lowered her onto their bed. "Listen, Bella," Dave shook his head gravely, dropping down beside her as he pressed a finger to her lips, "you know I'll do anything to make you happy. Hell, I'll move Reid in here if it'll solve this problem, but you've got to stop worrying so much about things that aren't in our control. At the end of the day, Reid is going to make his own choices. We can try to help him make the right ones, but, ultimately, it's his decision what he does with his own life."

"I know that," JJ grumbled as she leaned against the headboard, pulling one of the throw pillows into her hands and twisting the material. "I just want to make sure that I'm doing everything I can to help him, Dave."

Brushing her hair back from her face, Dave nodded as he stared down into her pinched face. Pressing a finger softly against the worry lines forming in her forehead, he said, "I get that, Jen. I really do. But, for now, we've got other things we need to focus on. Primarily, keeping our baby girl tucked up into that nice little cocoon she's in. We've got to let Jase take lead with Reid. It's why we went and got him, wasn't it?"

"I guess so," JJ admitted reluctantly, reaching up to pull his hand into hers as she let out another sigh. Smiling slightly, she added, her voice teasing, "At least I know there's one woman around that can keep him...and you...in line."

"Don't remind me," Dave groused, leaning forward to claim JJ's lips.


	88. Chapter 88

_**Author's Note: **_

_**And please, check out our writing challenge on our forum on **__**"Chit Chat on Author's Corner"**__** (you can find the link on my profile page.) In order to expand our horizons and stretch our writing wings, everyone who joins the challenge will be writing an exciting new pairing. By signing up, you'll get to suggest a pairing for someone else to write in addition to agreeing to write yourself. The story can be a drabble or an epic, romantic or friendship, AU or canon, angst or comedy…or anything in between. As the author, it is your choice to determine the direction and plot…we'll just be providing the pairing. Thanks to everyone who has signed up so far….and it's not too late for YOU, too! Feel free to email, PM or post to the forum thread if you'd be interested in participating.**_

**_And please, check out our newest interview over on "Chit Chat". We're talking to the lovely and talented CMali today._**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Eight**

"Do you ever feel like this team may implode at any second?" Hotch asked softly from across the booth of the familiar diner they'd frequented not so very long ago. Conveniently located across the street from the hospital, it seemed like the natural location for he and Emily to migrate toward after JJ's release from the hospital earlier that morning.

Smiling faintly, Emily teased as she picked up her water glass, "Is that pessimism I hear in your voice, Hotch?"

"A tinge," Aaron sighed, fingering the worn menu in front of him as he met her dark eyes. "Sometimes I just wonder if we'll ever catch a break. I mean, let's face it, Rossi and Reid going off the rails at the same time isn't something any of us want to face."

"No, it isn't," Emily replied slowly, taking a sip of water. "But, JJ is going to go home and do exactly what her doctor prescribed," she reassured her Unit Chief confidently. "She's not going to do anything that deliberately puts her peanut at risk. You know that."

"Sometimes we don't have control over things, Em," Hotch muttered, staring down at his coffee cup, his fingers wrapping around the heavy base. "Sometimes, the bad karma just finds you."

"True," Emily assented, "but, JJ and Reid both have support systems that aren't going to fail them. They're both going to be fine, Hotch. You've got to remain positive."

The morning sunlight faded for a moment, leaving their private corner of the diner bathed in graying shadows as Emily's encouragement hung in the air between them.

"Strauss is making noises about the team, Emily," Aaron confided softly, flicking his eyes up to find hers. "And questioning my ability to lead it."

"What?" Emily asked in shock, her eyes going wide as her mouth gaped.

"There's nothing wrong with your hearing, Prentiss," Hotch snorted, nailing her with a patented Hotchner stare as he dropped his coffee mug heavily against the table. "I read your last medical eval, remember?"

"How can she hold you responsible for premature labor and an addiction to drugs?" Emily hissed, leaning forward on the cracked vinyl booth. Pressing her narrow fingers against the table, she added, emphatically, "None of what's happened has been within your control, Hotch."

"That's not completely true though, is it, Emily?" Hotch asked softly, lifting his dark eyes to meet hers across the scarred table.

"What are you talking about, Aaron?" Emily frowned, unconsciously using his first name as she drew her brows together in confusion.

"Take Reid, for instance," he replied, gesturing with his hand, "I missed it."

"We all missed it," Emily snapped, refusing to allow him to take sole blame for their friend's mental state. "Are any of us any more or less guilty than you?" she asked impatiently.

"In my position, Emily, I'm expected not to miss anything. And the truth of the matter is, I did. Completely. Until it was almost too late. If we had lost Reid, it would have been on my watch. And on my conscience."

Licking her lips, Emily deliberated how best to adequately make her point. Leaning forward, she waited until he met her eyes again, then said, "Look, you're our Unit Chief, Hotch. Not our God. You don't have any omniscient powers. And you don't have ESP. Reid hid what he was doing from all of us. Addicts are good at it. His addiction and inability to control it are NOT your fault." God, she loved Spencer Reid like the brother she'd never had, but there were times, like this one, where she could happily kick his ass all the way to the Great Beyond for the turmoil he'd sent their team skittering toward. Especially this particular man.

"I knew Reid had a problem, Prentiss," Hotch replied, unwilling to allow himself or anyone else to offer excuses for his ignorance. His entire life had been an exercise in control, of himself and others. To have failed now, at this critical juncture, was beyond the pale of his comprehension.

"We all knew it," Emily retorted, tapping her finger against the edge of the menu as she felt her impatience rising again. "But there were no signs, Hotch. None. You heard him during that intervention. He intentionally kept us in the dark."

"I'm a profiler, Emily," Hotch declared harshly, his eyes flashing in the darkened booth that sat in at the back of the diner.

"I am, too. And we're both damned good at our jobs. But in case you've missed it, it's damned hard to profile another talented profiler. And Reid is one of the best," Emily countered, her tone daring him to disagree with that final statement.

"He is," Hotch agreed softly, his shoulders inching down beneath his wool suit jacket. "But I'm supposed to be better, Em," he whispered, dropping his gaze away from her face as he felt the slow heat of shame climbing into his cheeks.

"For a very talented, intelligent guy," Emily sighed, reaching across the table to touch the hand he had resting against the edge of the Formica table, "you sound incredibly stupid right now."

"Don't sugarcoat, Emily," Hotch replied sarcastically, not moving his hand, "Tell me how you really feel."

"Don't mind if I do," Emily said pertly, tossing her long black hair over one shoulder carelessly. "You're being a prize idiot. None of our so-called team of experts sensed anything amiss, Aaron. Not one of us...even the alleged legend," she remarked, referring to Rossi with a shrug.

"Dave was a little distracted," Hotch frowned, remembering those dark days when they'd all been concerned for JJ at the beginning of her definitely unexpected pregnancy. For more than a few days and weeks, Dave's focus had been completely on helping JJ deal with the changes in her life and to heal from the emotional battering her soul had taken.

"Granted," Emily replied with a slight inclination of her head, acknowledging that statement. "But I wasn't. Morgan wasn't. Or do you think we're suddenly less than qualified profilers?"

"Of course not," Hotch snorted, fisting his napkin in his hand as he refused to allow her to place words in his mouth. "But..."

"There aren't any buts, Hotch. Did it escape Strauss' notice that she herself did a yearly psychological screening of Reid exactly two weeks before he overdosed? She certainly didn't sound any warning bells," Emily pointed out sharply, her dislike for the bureaucrat coloring her words. "And she should have been doing nothing BUT looking for any warning signs."

"I hadn't thought of it from that perspective," Hotch admitted, his ears perking up at the idea that Strauss, too, had entirely missed anything irregular in Reid's behavior at that time. And while he wasn't searching for ways to relieve the burden that he knew he should bear, knowing that others with more trained eyes than him had overlooked the same things offered him a small window of relief.

Propping her elbow against the table, Emily rested her chin on her hand. "Well, try. And use the information. Don't let the bureaucratic barracuda bully you into a corner. Especially not when you don't deserve it. She's looking for a scapegoat, Aaron. And we both know she'll use you if you let her."

Nodding as he noticed the waitress approach from the corner of his eyes, Hotch grinned suddenly. "I know we said we'd just grab a cup of coffee, but suddenly, I find my appetite restored. Join me?" he invited, the furrows in his brows suddenly evaporating for that moment.

"Nothing I'd rather do more," Emily replied pleasantly, relieved to see some of the earlier tension evaporating from her boss and friend's face.


	89. Chapter 89

**_Author's Note:_**

**_First, let us begin by thanking everyone that is reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate._**

**_We have several announcements regarding our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" today. First, we have a new interview with another of our dedicated writers, Leigh59, available to read. Also, we have several new discussion threads for you to comment on. Join our lively discussion thread called, "AJ Cook's Contract Not Renewed" and tell us what you think of CM's latest developments. We also have a thread entitled, "Fanfic Challenge 2010 Assignments" where you can see the recently assigned pairings for our first ever fanfic challenge. And finally, we've begun a thread to offer prayers and best wishes for our fellow author, JWynn. We hope to see you all there!_**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Eighty-Nine**

**Prompt: Life - "Serious Control Issues"**

"He thinks he's ready," Jason Gideon declared a month later as he slid into the deep leather chair in front of Dr. Ainsley Lynde's polished desk. Stretching his legs out in front of him, he folded his hands in his lap in preparation for what was certain to be a long discussion.

"He's not," she declared flatly without looking up from the file she currently was making copious notes in. Blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes, she attempted to ignore the formidable presence that had apparently made himself quite at home in her private office.

"I tend to agree with him," Gideon frowned, his brows furrowing as he waited for her to turn her attention toward him and their conversation.

"You would," she muttered without looking up. Damn, of all the days in the world for Jason Gideon to show up out of thin air and demand entrance to her office, it had to be today. The only way to describe her week so far was hellacious, and according to her calendar, it was only Tuesday. On Sunday night, much to her shock and dismay, one of her longtime patients had committed suicide. Since his death, Ainsley's life had been a string of endless bereavement counseling sessions interwoven with the forms that the hospital bureaucratic machine demanded in order to cover their collective asses.

Needless to say, such events meant that she was currently in no mood to receive either Jason Gideon or his sizeable ego.

"You could at least pretend to give the idea some thoughtful consideration, Red," Gideon growled, his voice low, but no less dangerous. "Has anybody ever mentioned that you have some serious control issues?"

"In response to your first statement, I have. And on the second part, let me just say pot, meet kettle," Ainsley retorted, pursing her lips as the lead of her pencil broke again. Rubbing her finger against the jagged edge of the yellow pencil, she stated firmly, "My answer is still no. Dr. Reid is not as ready as he thinks he is."

"And you're playing it safe because you lost a patient," Gideon countered knowingly, watching Ainsley's face tighten with obvious irritation. This woman that he'd spent the last month carefully, steadily cultivating a relationship with had been a mass of tangled nerves since she'd received that depressing phone call from the police station while they'd been out to dinner Sunday night. Oh, she could slide her professional mask into place on a moment's notice, but he'd spent the past three months watching the good doctor. He'd done an excellent job learning to read her eyes. And right now, he saw two dark green pools of anguish staring back of him with just the slightest twinge of fear tossed in for good measure.

Inhaling deeply as she merely ignored him again, Jason forged ahead. "Look, he doesn't want to cease therapy, Ainsley. He just wants to go back to work. He'll be supervised by the team. And more importantly, I'll be monitoring his progress."

"Which part of the "no" did you not understand, Agent Gideon? The "n" or the "o"?" Ainsley snapped, slamming the now-useless pencil down on her files. "And incidentally, my decision has absolutely nothing to do with the tragedy that occurred Sunday night. I evaluate each of my patients on a case by case basis. And I'm not signing off to the Bureau on a clean mental bill of health for Dr. Reid. He still has a long way to go," Ainsley replied dismissively, jerking open the side drawer on her desk, surveying the wide selection of sharpened pencils just waiting for her.

"Give me one good reason that I can take back to that man, Ainsley," Gideon demanded softly, leaning forward to rest his hand on his knee as he watched her pull out a pink pencil. "One reason why he isn't qualified to return to the job he loves. Hotch and Strauss are already on board. You, my dear, are the only hold out."

"First, do not call me dear. It's condescending. Second, it doesn't concern me in the least that I'm the only holdout. I stopped giving into peer pressure at my junior prom. My decision stands," Ainsley bit out, finally lifting her head to glare across the desk at the irritatingly handsome man in front of her.

"Then give me a reason," Gideon demanded, slowly losing his temper as he thought of the hopeful look that had been on Spencer's face earlier that morning. The kid deserved a chance to prove to them all that he was healing, and returning to his normal life was a positive step.

Narrowing her eyes at the harsh undertones in his words, Ainsley cocked her head. "Did you suddenly become my patient when I wasn't looking, Agent Gideon?"

"Oh, drop the Agent Gideon crap, Ainsley. This is me over here. The guy you've been dating for the past month," he retorted, agitation bleeding into every word.

"Nope," Ainsley shook her head, steepling her fingers as she leaned her elbows on her files. "Currently you're just the guy that's pissing me off by doubting my professional judgment. But, once more and with feeling, I don't owe you any explanations. If Dr. Reid wants to discuss the issue with me, my door will remain open."

"For Christ sake, Red! Cut the kid some slack," Jason shouted , rolling his eyes as he felt his jaw tighten at her obvious stubborness.

"So he can use the rope to hang himself with?" Ainsley bit out immediately, her lips pressing together tightly as she shook her head. "Sorry, but I've already had that happen once this week with a patient and I'm not in a hurry for a repeat performance. Especially with this patient."

"So this is about what happened this weekend?" Gideon countered immediately, pointing a finger at her with a "Gotcha!" face.

Tightening her lips as she mentally castigated herself for her poor choice of words, Ainsley felt a blush heating her cheeks. Damn her fair complexion all to hell and back. Some days, being a redhead truly was a curse. "Agent Gideon," Ainsley said, striving to remain professional as she carefully measured her words, "I suggest that if my patient would like an explanation, that he ask for one during our next session. Which," she said, dropping her eyes to the calendar on her desk, "I have listed for tomorrow afternoon at two."

"Ignoring my question isn't going to make me go away," Gideon warned, crossing his arms over his chest as he pressed his heels heavily against the oriental rug.

"Perhaps not," Ainsley murmured, glancing toward her office door as she calculated her options. "But I have a much better method of ejecting you," she smiled tightly, leaning back in her chair for a moment. "Myrtle!" she called toward the door, waiting until the grey headed woman made her appearance. "Would you mind escorting our guest out?" she asked the elderly receptionist leaning heavily against her cane as she filled the threshold.

"With pleasure," Myrtle nodded gleefully, turning her sharp gaze toward the man currently taking root in the guest chair. "I haven't even broke this one in properly yet," she said sternly, hefting the oversized walking stick in her wrinkled hand.

Glancing from one determined female to the other, Gideon wisely recognized that some battles aren't meant to be won immediately. Pushing up from the chair, he threw a determined look in Ainsley's direction as he moved toward the open door. Darting around the wizened geezer quickly, Gideon growled over his shoulder, "This isn't over, Red."

"We'll see about that, Jason," she called out, her parting words following him down the long empty hallway.


	90. Chapter 90

_**Author's Note: First, let us begin by saying thank you to all those wonderful people reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting this, as well as our other stories. You guys seriously rock! CM readers are the most dedicated folks that we know and we appreciate each one of you.**_

_**Also, good news, our fellow author, JWynn has been awakened from her induced coma. Please feel free to visit our forum ("Chit Chat on Author's Corner" - there's a link at ilovetvalot's profile page) and leave your wishes for her speedy recovery on the discussion thread called "Let's all say a prayer for our fellow fanfic author...JWynn". I feel sure she'd love to hear from all her readers and fellow authors.**_

_**We also have two interesting interviews with a couple of incredibly talented authors, SignedSealedWritten and CMali. Stop by and leave them a comment. We've also got several lively discussion threads regarding AJ Cook and **__**Paget Brewster**__**'s plight, Joe Mantegna's Walk of Fame Star and "Tracia and Tonnie's Down Home Fanfic Wisdom." Readers and writers alike, come join the fun and discussion. Thanks again!**_

_**And, let us not forget, thanks to Kavi Leighanna and Sienna27 for their inspiring TV Prompt Challenge.**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety**

_**Las Vegas: One Nation Under Surveillance**_

His footsteps stuttered for a moment as he neared the glass door. Drawing in a deep breath, Spencer Reid straightened his thin shoulders, pushing against the handle firmly as he told himself that he wanted to do this. He knew that he was also ready to do this, his mind needing the stimulation that could only come from doing the job that he knew so well. And to get to that point, he had to get past the final barrier that stood in opposition to his well laid plans.

Nodding to himself as he stepped inside the peacefully quiet office, Spencer shoved his hands into the pockets of his corduroys as he moved toward the only other person in the waiting room. Clearing his throat, he waited for a moment until the grey-headed woman finally raised her head.

Smiling tremulously as he met those sharp eyes peering at him over the top of her half-glasses, Spencer tilted his head toward the wooden door to the side as he said, "I'm here for my appointment with Dr. Lynde."

Raising one thin grey brow, Myrtle the receptionist pushed up on her ever-present walking stick as she looked over Reid's shoulder. "You alone, Dr. Reid? Or should I be preparing for that pitbull of yours to be showing up any time soon?"

"No, ma'am," Spencer murmured at the sharp tone, hiding his grin as he followed Myrtle across the room. "JJ informed Jason and Rossi both that they weren't allowed to join me for the actual session today."

"How is our little mama to be?" Myrtle asked suddenly, her normally prickly exterior fading for the moment as her voice expressed honest concern.

Smiling faintly, Reid replied, "Not in the most cooperative mood, actually. I think she's become a little tired of all of us looking at her like a bomb that might detonate at any given moment."

"She's close to her time now, isn't she?"

"Within the month. The doctor said that the baby could be born now with minimal problem if necessary," Reid returned, privately hoping that his future niece would keep her peace until the due date. There wasn't any point in tempting fate in more than they already had, was there?

"Good, good," Myrtle nodded approvingly, tapping her walking stick against the carpeted floor. "You go right ahead, son," she directed as she waved him toward the ajar door. "Dr. Lynde's expecting you."

"Thank you," Spencer returned politely, slowly approaching the open doorway. Okay, now, all he had to do was present his case in a convincing, decisive way, and hopefully, he'd be on his way back to the BAU this afternoon. Dr. Lynde was, above all things, a logical, considerate therapist who was ruled by reason and scientific proof. Surely, she'd be able to see the benefit in allowing him a small return to normalcy, wouldn't she?

Tapping against the wooden door and waiting until the redhead looked up from the file on her desk, Spence waited for her acknowledgment.

"Dr. Reid," Ainsley smiled pleasantly, raising her head to focus on her young patient hovering on the threshold of her office. "Come in. You're right on time."

"Thank you," Reid replied softly, walking slowly forward and slipping into his normal position for one of their sessions in one of the black leather wingback chairs in front of her desk. Crossing one leg across the other, he automatically lifted his thumb to his lips, nibbling at the nail there anxiously.

"Where would you like to begin today, Dr. Reid?" Ainsley asked as she rose to close her office door firmly, ever mindful of her patients' rights to privacy and discretion. That seemed more so with this particular patient, as she knew his deep desire to maintain some sort of control in his ever-changing world.

"Uhmm...actually I had a question for you, Dr. Lynde," Spencer began hesitantly, leaning forward slightly.

"Okay," Ainsley nodded invitingly, gesturing with her hand as she reseated herself behind the desk, "Please ask away."

"Why is it that you don't think I'm adequately recovered to return to work?" Spencer asked bluntly, wincing as he realized he sounded slightly accusatory. That had not been his intention, he told himself reassuringly, hoping that his thoughts could somehow be conveyed from his mind to hers.

"Ah, so news of my response to Gideon's query yesterday has reached your ears," Ainsley replied evenly, silently cursing Jason Gideon for his inability to understand the professional boundaries she had so carefully been attempting to cultivate. She'd hoped to address this issue with Reid herself without his interference.

"Don't blame him. I asked," Spence shrugged, staring across the desk into the doctor's kind eyes.

"Be that as it may, can I ask you a question before I answer yours, Dr. Reid?" Ainsley asked, carefully watching her patient's face as she leaned forward.

"Will this question influence your decision?" Spencer asked in return.

"Possibly," Ainsley said, inclining her head slightly, recognizing the wariness in her patient's voice.

"Fire away," Reid offered with more calm than he felt, picking invisible lint from his trousers with nervous fingers.

"Do you honestly think you're ready to return to a position that, even on the best of days, is highly stressful?" she asked, her tone even but none-the-less forceful.

Licking his lips as he contemplated her question, Reid glanced over at the colorful painting on her wall. After a long minute of staring at the firm lines, he finally said softly, "My mind is stagnating, Dr. Lynde. There are only so many books I can read...so many Sudoku puzzles I can do. I need something challenging to fill my time with, and profiling offers me that opportunity."

"And that's all there is to it?" Ainsley prodded, tilting her head as she assessed Spencer. Watching as Spencer sank his teeth into his lower lip apprehensively, she invited in a reassuring voice, "You can speak freely here, Dr. Reid. The only ones that will know are you and I."

"I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny," Spence whispered finally, his feet dropping heavily to the thick rug. "Someone is always watching. Gideon even insisted Rossi drive me here today even though JJ wouldn't let them come in. I need to prove to them that I can still do this. That I can still be a vital member of our team."

"I don't think anyone doubts that at all, Dr. Reid. I believe their only desire is to see you healthy first," Ainsley said gently, adding a small smile as she watched his fingers start to twirl in his hair.

"And how are we going to know if I'm better if I don't at least try to resume some semblance of my former life? Without the constant surveillance," Reid asked.

"A reasonable question," Ainsley noted, nodding as she acknowledged his assessment. "But, how can you expect them to do that...for me to allow that...when you still haven't taken responsibility for your actions?"

"I have," Spence frowned as he jerked his shoulders forward, his eyes widening. "I apologized to everyone in that family session."

"You did," Ainsley nodded, then added evenly, "But you still haven't spoken at your Narcotics Anonymous meetings, Dr. Reid. You haven't testified among your peers. Any particular reason why?"

Cheeks flushing, Reid averted his eyes again, mentally tracing the thick black lines of the wall art.

"You know that it's a vital step," Ainsley said softly, her eyes focused on the young man in front of her.

"I know," Reid muttered finally, shifting uncomfortably in the chair as he dropped his gaze to the carpet below his feet. "I've never felt comfortable...talking about it."

"It's one of the steps, Reid," Ainsley admonished. "And you, better than anyone, know what missing a step could do to your recovery." Watching as the young doctor once again shuffled his feet, she said, slowly, "I'll tell you what...I'll consent to you going back to the BAU on a trial basis. No out of town cases yet. IF you'll give some serious consideration to your testimonial," she offered firmly, leaning back in her chair. "Then, we'll reevaluate in a week."

Nodding, Reid smiled across the desk at his doctor as he felt a mental weight float from his already over-filled mind. "Really?"

"Really," Ainsley confirmed, matching his smile for a moment before she turned serious again. "But this is conditional, Dr. Reid. If you experience any setbacks or it feels to be too much, I want you right back here in my office. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Reid said happily, feeling for the first time in months that he might just survive his life yet.


	91. Chapter 91

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety-One**

Spencer Reid had never been a great believer in proverbs, quips of wisdom, or moral axioms. But sitting at his desk in the middle of the BAU bullpen, one certain phrase kept repeating through his mind. And he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this particular pithy quote now held a ring of truth.

Be careful what you wish for. It might come true.

A feeling of excitement had pervaded him earlier that morning while he was dressing for his first day back at the BAU, slipping his familiar sweater vest over his white dress shirt. That feeling had persisted all through his drive in with Jason and while he was walking through the bright lobby, his memories of many early morning elevator rides with the man beside him lingering in his mind. And the elevator had only lifted his spirits even more, knowing that he was just a few feet away from achieving his goal of returning to his normal life.

But now that he was here, sitting in his old seat, staring down at his perfectly straightened desk, those earlier feelings of anticipation had faded. And all he could wonder was if he had made the right decision. For no matter what his teammates had said or how much they had encouraged him to return, all he could feel now was their close, careful scrutiny, their unvoiced worries nearly deafening him.

Spencer Reid was being watched. His team had promised not to make a production of his return, but rather to let him settle in without fanfare or fuss. The first five minutes had felt normal, comfortable…even welcome. But after the initial greetings had been accomplished and everyone had returned to their normal areas, he had soon realized that all attention was indeed focused on him.

It wasn't overt or obvious. And Spencer knew that someone less intuitive than him might never notice. But even now, he could feel Emily's concerned stare boring into the back of his head. He imagined her dark eyes crinkling slightly as she tilted her head, her standard pose when she was analyzing a difficult situation. He wanted to turn around and assure her that he wasn't about to have a mental melt-down in the middle of the bullpen. But to do so would only do what he didn't want to do…bring attention to himself.

"Kid, you okay?" he heard Morgan's deep familiar voice ask from the desk beside him.

Bobbing his head, Reid quickly dropped his gaze back to the copious files on his desk just waiting for his undivided attention. "Just wondering where to start," he said, forcing a faint smile as he darted his eyes toward the elder black man.

"Well, there's no hurry on anything. You know that, right?" Morgan replied, his tone factual and compassionate. "In fact, give me a couple of those," he said, reaching for two of the manila folders stacked neatly on the corner of the desk. "I'll give you a hand."

No hurry? Since when, Spence mentally snapped, but wisely, he kept his mouth closed as the other man pulled the files into his hand. "Thanks, Morgan," he said softly, unwilling to offend his supportive friend.

"No prob," Morgan shrugged, flipping open one of the files and turning his attention to the details once again.

Jumping in his seat as the phone on his desk rang, Reid ignored the look Morgan sent his way as he reached for the handset on his desk. "Dr. Spencer Reid," he forced himself to answer calmly. "Yes, I'll be right there," he answered quickly as he shot a look toward Aaron Hotchner's closed office door as he hung up the phone.

Watching as Reid rose stiffly from his seat, Morgan quirked a brow at the younger man.

"Hotch wants to see me," Reid explained, trying to remind himself that it had been Hotch himself that had suggested his return to the unit part-time...that there was no reason to be nervous. There was no reason for his heartbeat to be approaching levels only associated with extreme cases of medical tachycardia.

But, as he climbed the steps to the upper offices, he couldn't help but feel like the recalcitrant student that had been called to the principal's office. Which was an anomaly since he'd always been the model pupil. Tapping softly on the heavy wooden door, he bit his lip apprehensively as he heard Hotch's muffled voice call out his admittance.

Quickly schooling his features into what he hoped was the picture of tranquility, he opened the door, stepping inside and closing it softly behind him. "You wanted to see me, Hotch?" he asked, carefully keeping his voice modulated and steady as he watched the older man.

Glancing up from his computer, Hotch nodded to the younger man and gestured toward one of the seats in front of his desk. "Yeah, I did," he nodded. "Sit down for a minute, Reid." Waiting until his colleague had seated himself, Hotch said, his dark eyes serious, "I just wanted to touch base for a few minutes and make sure you were settling back in."

Shifting under the other man's concentrated gaze, Reid read the slightly wary expression in his Unit Chief's eyes and, not for the first time, regretted the actions that had led him here. "I'm okay, Hotch. I'm ready," he assured the other man, forcing his voice to retain the calm in spite of the sudden wave of anxiety rolling through his chest.

"I'm glad, Reid. But I wanted to remind you to ease yourself back into things slowly. Right now, that means only written consultations. I can't release you to do more than that without Dr. Lynde's authority," he warned evenly.

"I know," Reid agreed readily, his fingers gripping the wooden edges of the chair. "She explained everything to me in detail. She made it clear that she wouldn't allow me to overwhelm myself until she and I both feel that I'm in a better place. But, I can be of use here."

"No one, least of all me, would dispute that. You're an integral part of the team, Reid. We've all been anxious for your return. But, at the same time, we want you to be careful. Right now, Gideon will be directly supervising you," Hotch responded slowly, his hands resting on the edge of his blotter as he waited for his team member to respond.

"Monitoring me," Reid nodded slowly, his lips quirking for just a moment. "Just like the old days."

"Only until you're better and Dr. Lynde releases you. As you know, Gideon has agreed to pinch hit for us temporarily while Rossi and JJ are out."

"He told me," Reid nodded, remembering snatches of the conversation from the previous evening, JJ's impending delivery the primary focus of the expecting couple.

"And you're okay with that, right?" Hotch asked, keeping his expression carefully void of emotion.

"I'm okay, Hotch. Right now, I just want to feel normal again. And I think this is the first step," Reid replied honestly, the bands around his chest loosening slightly with each word, his heart truly believing what his mind was voicing.

"Okay," Hotch nodded, letting a half-smile linger on his lips as he considered the transformation that was Spencer Reid. "Then, I say, get back to work."

And with that deeply familiar directive, Reid felt like he'd finally managed to make it back home after a very long journey.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Please forgive our extra long rambling today, but we have a lot to share. First, originally we planned to publish all our stories on Mondays. But after realizing we have ten ongoing works, we decided to split them up. So, we will publish five fics on Sundays and five fics on Mondays for the foreseeable future. As always, we will publish the odd oneshot in between, especially when we have notes to share with our readers regarding our forum.**_

_**For those following Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum, we have several announcements. First, we'd like to announce our interviews with the very talented authors Reidfanatic and ConfettiLeaves. Next, please **__**check out our mini-challenge…The Creative Reasons Challenge! Now is the time to put your creative talents to work and write a story depicting the events and/or emotions regarding JJ's departure. It can be a drabble, oneshot or multi-chapter featuring any characters you choose. For more info, check out our challenge thread on the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum.**_

_**For those of you who want to keep updated on the new threads posted to the forum, you can subscribe by going to the forum page (the link is on my profile page), then clicking "Forum Subscription" in the upper right corner. We have new and exciting discussion threads and interviews, as well as our monthly challenges, planned for the future.**_

_**Again, we want to take this opportunity to thank anyone for reading, reviewing, alerting, and favoriting our stories. We truly appreciate hearing from each one of you.**_


	92. Chapter 92

_Author's Note: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. The __**Dealer's Choice August Challenge**__ is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Simply suggest a pairing from the seven main Criminal Minds characters and list three different things to include in the story. (Example: You request Hotch/Emily and your prompts are a starry night, a cashmere blanket and a bottle of Merlot.) Your suggestion will be assigned to another author, and you'll receive a similar suggestion. Your final story must include your assigned pairing and must include at least two of the three prompts you were given in some capacity. Stories can be short or long, romantic or friendship, angst or humor…and anything else in between! Sign ups will continue through August 2, assignments will be given on August 3, and stories are due by August 31! Please visit the forum or shoot us a PM if you are interested in participating. We'd love to have you! And please visit the forum to read our latest interviews with the lovely KricketWilliams and the talented Ahmoselnarus! Also, we have began a discussion thread for our fellow author, Angel N Darkness, who was in a serious car accident on Sunday. Please say a prayer for her hasty recovery and visit the thread to leave your best wishes. Updates on her condition will be posted there as we receive them._

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety-Two**

Four short weeks later, Spencer Reid found himself once again smiling as he glanced over at the not-so-petite blonde beside him. Watching as she restlessly shifted her legs against the overstuffed ottoman that had been scooted right next to the chair, he murmured, "Still got leg cramps, JJ?"

"Leg cramps are the least of my problems, Spence," the normally cheerful blonde grumbled as she let out an impatient sigh, tapping her heels against the leather. Pressing a hand to her rounded belly, she met her friend's eyes as she said, apologetically, "I'm sorry. I know you didn't plan to spend the day with a griping pregnant woman on the verge of a hormonal breakdown."

"Hey, I'm just glad to be here at all. I still can't believe that Agent Rossi trusted me enough to stay with you today while he met with the Richmond DA," Reid replied, shaking his head in amazement, his earlier conversation with the older G-man still playing loudly in his surprised mind.

Reaching out to pat Spencer's thin hand where it rested on the arm of the sofa, JJ assured him softly, "Dave does trust you, Spence. And we all can see the phenomenal progress you've made over the past month. Just so you'll know, there's no one I'd rather have stay with me today."

"You say that now, JJ, but just wait until you want something to eat," Spencer countered, raising one eyebrow as he added, smiling self-consciously, "My culinary skills are extremely limited. I hope you enjoy blackened grilled cheese on white bread."

Wrinkling her nose at the image that she was certain was not an exaggeration, JJ let out a chuckle as she said, "I don't think food is going to be a problem. Dave's been keeping the refrigerator packed since I've been on bed rest. Why, I do not know. He apparently has lost the ability to see what is plainly in front of his face and doesn't realize that I'm already bigger than Shamu the beached whale."

"Actually, your weight gain is in the normal parameters for a normal woman at your stage of pregnancy," Spencer replied immediately, eyes brightening as he found a use for those seventy-two unabridged books he'd read on the wonders of childbirth. "Based on my research, your girth may be distributed a bit differently, but..."

"Whoa there, Einstein," JJ said, raising one firm hand as her cheeks puffed as Spencer's rambling registered on her hormone soaked mind, "did you just refer to my waist as girth?"

To his credit, the young genius had enough of his legendary wits still about him to recognize the potential landmine about to explode around him. "I...uh...is that the door?" he asked, looking over his shoulder nervously. "Jason and Ainsley said they might drop by," he commented as he tilted his head in the foyer's direction, hoping he could divert his friend's imminent hormonal explosion.

"No," JJ said tersely, her eyes narrowing as she tapped her fingers on the arm of the recliner, "that was not the door. THAT was the sound of you gagging on the foot you crammed down your throat."

"Oops," Reid smiled sheepishly, his cheeks reddening slightly before he met her flashing eyes. "Remember, you love me," he chided, wagging a finger as she glared at him.

"Yeah, at the moment, like a thorn in my ass," JJ grumbled, flopping back against the recliner, well aware of the fact that any displeasure she felt toward her friend would be short lived. "Aaarrrggghhh!" she groaned, slapping her hands against the overstuffed arms, realizing at the last moment that she definitely heard the pitch of a whine in her own voice. "I'm so bored!" she complained, staring at the planked ceiling. "There's only so much daytime television that one educated person can stomach."

"I remember," Spence nodded sympathetically, his days of recovery not so distant that he couldn't feel her pain. Gesturing toward the silent picture playing on the large screen in front of them, he commiserated, "You know you're in bad shape if you start to find Jerry Springer interesting."

"I haven't stooped that low yet...although," she drawled, her lips twitching from side to side as she asked, "is it wrong that I find Dr. Phil's Texan accent charming?"

Rolling his eyes at that decidedly interesting piece of information, Reid chuckled. "You're definitely exhibiting signs of television overload, Jayje."

"Blame Dave," JJ snorted, gazing at the picture of them on the mantel, the dark headed man's laughing eyes staring back at her. "He hasn't allowed me to do anything more strenuous than lift the remote in months."

"Weeks, JJ," Spence corrected, amused by his best friend's theatrics. "It's been weeks."

"What it's been is long enough," JJ retorted, then leaned as far forward as her considerable stomach would allow. "C'mon, Spence. Let's do something fun," she grinned, wriggling her eyebrows.

"Forget it," Spence said automatically, crossing his arms over his chest in an apparent attempt to deflect her persuasive gaze. "I just got my life back on track. I'd hate to die now. And rest assured, if I let you do anything not expressly on this list," he said, grabbing the notepad from the sofa beside him, handwritten instructions obvious on the first page, "Rossi made it clear that I'd forfeit my continued existence in this world."

"A shower," JJ whined, drawing out the word into at least four syllables. "All I want is one single little shower," she begged, batting her long lashes at him, pressing one hand dramatically to her rounded belly.

"That doesn't work on me," Reid declared evenly, dropping his gaze to the notebook. "And, nope, nuh uh...it's expressly forbidden by this list. See," he said, flipping the pad around in her direction, "it's number six on the list."

"I can't see that far," JJ said snippily, not bothering to look the three feet in his direction.

"Fine, I can recite it for you. 'Spencer, she'll try to talk you into a shower. The answer is no. First, she'd have to climb the stairs - see no go number one for details. And second, the tiles are slippery. She could fall.' So, as you can see, I can't let you do that, JJ," Spence explained reasonably.

"You were my friend first," JJ mumbled petulantly, pursing her lips as she wondered when she had managed to lose control of her own life.

"I was," Spencer nodded. "But as I said, I've found a brand new lease on life. I'd appreciate not being evicted from it via your new husband."

"My new husband is a certified tyrant," JJ muttered, wondering once again how she had lost all good sense and allowed that man to convince her to marry him just a few weeks prior. God knew that she loved Dave, but lately, she spent more time wanting to kick him than kiss him.

"You married him," Spencer shrugged, dropping the notebook back to the coffee table but keeping it well within reach.

"You told me to," JJ replied as she pointed accusingly in his direction. "In fact, you insisted. You were the dictator's biggest advocate, you turncoat. Hell, Spence, you were Mussolini to his Hitler!"

"Now, you're exaggerating," Spence sighed with a shake of his shaggy head. "Do women get more theatrical as pregnancy progresses?" he asked rhetorically, reaching for his ever present copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting", the yellow cover bent and well-worn from his extensive consultations.

"I am not being theatrical," JJ griped, shifting in her chair as she tried to find that elusive comfortable position that had become all but nonexistent in the last twenty-four hours. Not for the first time, she truly wondered how modern medicine had not yet found a cure for the ever-present back ache that seemed to be her new constant companion.

"What do you call it then?" Spence asked, lifting an eyebrow in silent inquiry.

"Pregnant," JJ groaned, flopping her head back and closing her eyes as she attempted to ignore the entire world.

And Spencer Reid couldn't help but smile in relief as he realized that, this time, he had been the one providing reassurance and comfort to his best friend.


	93. Chapter 93

_Author's Note: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. The __**Dealer's Choice August Challenge**__ is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Please see the forum for further details. We'd love to have you! And please visit the forum to read our latest interview with the simply amazing __**JWynn**__! And, please remember our fellow author,__** Angel N Darkness**__, who was in a serious car accident on Sunday. Visit the discussion thread to leave your best wishes. Updates on her condition will be posted there as we receive them. We've also added two new discussion threads, __**"Let's Play, "Name**__**Your Beta""**__ for those of you that want to publicly recognize and recommend your beta and __**"Chit Chat with the Authors"**__ for those that have questions related to writing and Criminal Minds fanfiction. Please drop by and check it out. _

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety-Three**

An hour later, it was official. Dr. Spencer Reid, certifiable genius, was driving her insane.

And it was happening more quickly than even her new husband had managed. Unlike Dave, Spencer seemed immune to her death glare. Perhaps battling addiction had given him invisible body armor?

"JJ," the man in question sighed from the doorway to the nursery, "you know what Rossi wrote. You read his list three times. You aren't supposed to be in here," he chided, barely resisting the urge to wag a long finger in her direction.

"Do I look like a toddler to you?" JJ grumbled, closing the door to her baby's chest of drawers with a swing of her widened hips. "I'm perfectly capable of determining when I'm tired enough to sit down," she growled, rolling her eyes as she looked at the way things were arranged on the diaper rack. Hadn't she given that husband of hers an explicit diagram to work from, she asked herself.

Quickly moving to rearrange the items to her own personal taste, she glanced over her shoulder at Spencer. "I'm fine, Spence. Why don't you go take a nap or something," she suggested, straightening the obviously lopsided curtain behind the cluttered diaper rack.

"Are you crazy, JJ?" Spencer gaped, tracking her every move. "If Rossi even finds out I allowed you anywhere near this room, let alone allowed you to rearrange it, I'm living on borrowed time."

Rubbing her belly as she waddled across the room toward the mahogany crib, she rolled her eyes. "My God, Spence. When did you come dramatic?" JJ asked, shaking her head as she threw yet another glare in his direction.

"About the time I realized my life expectancy was being radically reduced due in large part to your stubbornness," Spencer complained, quickly stepping forward as he noticed JJ eyeing the large intricate wooden crib with an assessing eye.

"I told him I wanted this on the east wall," she muttered to herself, putting one hand on the end of the baby bed. Evidently her carefully detailed diagram of the new nursery had been for naught. She wasn't the only one that couldn't follow a simple list in their relationship, she thought in what she determined to be an entirely reasonable manner.

"JJ, I don't know what you think you're about to..." Spence began, his words dying on his lips as the woman he had, perhaps rather hastily, proclaimed as his best friend shoved the bed with a determined grunt.

"What I'm doing, Spence," JJ huffed as she leaned her knees against the lower rung of the crib, using her new girth to counterbalance, "Is rectifying my husband's obvious inattention to detail." Letting out a sigh as she glared at the offending piece of furniture, she shook her head as she reached for the top rail. "Honestly, I don't think that man ever listens to a thing I tell him anymore. It's like my words go in one ear and out the other."

Reaching out to grab her small hand before she could once again create decorating havoc, Spencer snorted, "I know the feeling! JJ, if you don't quit this, something is going to happen and I'm going to get blamed! I know it!"

Rolling her eyes as she pulled her fingers away, JJ pressed her hands to her ample hips as she glared up at the flustered man. "Would you quit sounding like such a nervous Nellie? Trust me, Spencer, I've been stuck in this house for weeks now without any form of excitement. I doubt that the situation is going to change any time soon, in spite of my fervent wishes." Smiling widely, she arched one brow as she added, determinedly, "Now, would you mind grabbing the other end of the crib? I think it needs to move another few inches toward the corner."

In spite of those niggling butterflies of doubt flitting through his belly, Spencer Reid knew when he had been bested. And the tiny blonde was mentally daring him to defy her commands. But he couldn't give up without one last ditch attempt at covering his own ass. "JJ, I'll move the baby's bed wherever you want it if you just sit down and rest! Heck, if you want the kid to sleep on the roof, I'll build a fulcrum to perfectly balance it at a zero bubble." Pointing toward the chair in the corner, he begged, "Please! You can issue every single order you have just as easily from a sitting position, can't you?"

Humphing a sigh of impatience, JJ pressed her hand to her lower back as she muttered, "All I've been told for a month is to sit down! This baby is going to be born in a permanently scrunched position because she doesn't have enough room to stretch, Spence! Do you want your niece to suffer from spinal deformities before she even arrives?"

Well accustomed to his friend's ease at switching subjects to suit her fancy, Spence shook his head as he began, "What I want…." But his words suddenly trailed off into shocked nothingness as he watched JJ's wide eyes suddenly drop to the floor, a growing wet spot appearing suddenly on the pink rug beneath their feet.

Spencer Reid instinctively understood that there were moments out of time that the memory instinctively preserved in perfect living color detail. His first bike ride, the first time his mother had read Shakespeare to him….even his first day at the BAU. But this...this was not a memory he wanted etched on his psyche, was it? Standing in the middle of a nursery in a rapidly growing puddle of his best friend's bodily fluid? No! No! No!

Carefully lifting one sneaker-covered foot and shaking it cautiously, he lifted his gaze to JJ anxiously. Gulping, he choked, "Is that..."

"My carpet," JJ wailed, her knees bending as she tried to kneel on the plush carpet beneath their feet. "My new carpet!"

"THAT'S your concern during this scenario?" Spence squeaked, his voice high and strained as he watched JJ moan again, shaking her head sadly. Grabbing at her arm before she could manage to inspect the damage, he moaned, "Your carpet?"

"Do you know how long it took me to find this shade of pink?" JJ asked crossly, glancing up at her paling friend as he stood staring back at her with shocked eyes. "Weeks, Spence."

And with visions of David Rossi's enraged mottled face flashing through his mind, Spencer leaned back weakly against the wall, still watching JJ with a horrified gaze. It was official.

Spencer Reid, who had survived deranged unsubs, a schizophrenic mother, an absentee father, a drug addiction, and a some-what serious attempt to leave this earthly plane, had been summarily doomed.

By his obviously deranged pregnant best friend.


	94. Chapter 94

**_Author's Note_**_: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. The **Dealer's Choice August Challenge** is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Please see the forum for further details. We'd love to have you! And please visit the forum to read our latest interviews with the simply amazing **SussiRay and cmfanbex**! And please join our newest discussion thread, **"What's on Your Bookshelf"** where readers tell us about the published books and authors that inspire them. Please drop by and check it out. And lastly, please keep our fellow authors, **Angel N Darkness** and **Darcie91 **within your prayers. Both ladies have been in serious accidents and have separate discussion threads where readers and authors alike may leave their best wishes! That's all for this time folks! Thanks to all who have read, reviewed, favorited or alerted our stories. We continue to appreciate each one of you!_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety-Four**

Shaking his shaggy head as he attempted to clear his vision, hoping against hope that what he had just seen was a figment of his still-healing imagination, Spencer Reid groaned as he realized that yes, indeed, this was not a mirage. JJ was indeed in about to give birth at any moment….right in front of his very eyes.

Drawing in a deep breath, he squeaked out as he grabbed her thin arm, "You've got to sit down! I've got to call Rossi, and you've got to sit down!"

Swatting at his clenching fingers, JJ glared defiantly as she ordered sharply, "Don't tell me what to do, Spence! I'm sure I have plenty of time left. And we're going to use part of that time to clean this carpet, you hear me?"

"Are you out of your mind?" he blurted out, his eyes widening once again as he realized that she was quite serious in her commands. Watching as she started to waddle toward the door, he yelped, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find some towels," JJ called out, balancing one hand on her stomach as she let out a deep sigh, staring back at the stain. "The carpet cleaner is underneath the kitchen sink. If we get the foam on it now, I think that…"

Her words were suddenly drowned out by the pealing of the doorbell, the chimes sounding through the house. Letting out a sigh of relief, Spence said quickly, "Please let that be Gideon and Ainsley! She's a doctor! She'll know what to do!"

"Unless she's become the Rug Doctor and knows how to remove the stain of amniotic fluid, I don't see how she's gonna be much help to me at the moment," JJ moaned mournfully as she stared at the darkening puddle on the carpet, reaching blindly toward the just-organized shelves.

Had the onset of labor dampened her ability to process simple statements, Reid asked himself frantically as he watched JJ dab gingerly at the stain with a burping cloth. He certainly didn't remember reading about any correlation between the sense of hearing and labor. Perhaps he had missed an important study that would have given him vital insight into this sudden turn of events. "She's a doctor, JJ. You know, a medical professional," he clarified, trying to ease his best friend away from the carpet as he attempted to ease his suddenly swirling mind.

"Then I suggest you go answer the door," JJ noted archly, shrugging his irritating hands off as she frowned at the carpet and the bell pealed again. "Otherwise you might have to face the scary pregnant woman all by yourself."

"It's not the scary pregnant woman I'm worried about. It's the scary husband of the deranged pregnant woman that gives me the chills," Reid groaned, giving up trying to get the suddenly psychotic Jennifer Jareau Rossi out of the floor. When the devil had she developed this disturbing OCD? "Stay right there, JJ," he ordered, running toward the door.

"Where am I gonna go?" JJ muttered darkly, ignoring his fleeing footsteps as she rubbed violently at the stained carpet again. "I have the freaking pregnancy Gestapo to curtail my every movement."

Flying down the wooden staircase, Reid skidded to a halt in the foyer, throwing open the door with more force than he'd anticipated. A loud crack echoed through the downstairs as the door hit the wall, knocking one of the pictures from its perch.

Simply lifting an eyebrow at his quasi son, Gideon tilted his head as the door opened with a bang. "Problems, Reid?"

Elbowing the elder man in the ribs as she noticed the slightly glazed look in her former patient's eyes, Ainsley stepped forward into the cool foyer. "Spencer, what's wrong?"

Pointing furtively toward the staircase, Reid panted, "JJ! Water! Carpet!"

"I need more clues, Spence," Gideon frowned, stepping inside quickly as he noted the pale complexion of his obviously panicked friend.

Clutching the lapels of Gideon's jacket, Reid shook the taller man. "Labor!" he hissed, his eyes widening astronomically as he mentally begged the older man to understand.

Comprehension dawning, Gideon calmly placed his hands on Reid's slim shoulders. "Take a breath for us, Reid. Where's JJ?"

"In the nursery," Reid replied, the words coming out with less effort now. "Rossi's with the DA."

Nodding to Ainsley as the woman quickly moved toward the stairs, Gideon said smoothly, "Then we need to call the new daddy and tell him to get his ass in gear."

"He's gonna kill me," Reid groaned, pressing a hand to his sweating forehead. "I had one mission. Keep this from happening and she went and sabotaged it!"

"I'm sure it wasn't intentional," Gideon replied absently, scrolling through the list of numbers in his phone.

"Obviously, YOU have not been paying attention," Reid muttered, watching as Gideon dialed the man that he was positive would shortly end his life.

Meanwhile, Ainsley calmly made her way down the upstairs corridor. Peeking in the open doorway, she found the expectant mother kneeling in the floor, scrubbing furiously. "JJ?" she said tentatively, stepping into the decorated room. "I hear we might have reached the end of our countdown."

"Yeah, and I scored the touchdown all over my new carpet," JJ growled, blowing a wisp of hair from her face. "Any idea what takes amniotic fluid out of a Berber carpet?"

"Uhmmm, noooo," Ainsley shook her head, watching the other woman's nose scrunch as she resumed her scrubbing in earnest. Of course, as a trained mental health professional, Ainsley quickly realized what Jennifer Jareau Rossi was currently attempting to do. Her actions at present had nothing to do with cleaning a stain on the rug, but more to do with the need to control something...anything… within her environment. It was a classic avoidance technique, though she doubted JJ consciously realized that she was engaging in it. "But," Ainsley said carefully, kneeling beside JJ and pulling the cloth from expectant woman's cold hand, "I do know a little about the human body. And right now, I'm fairly certain that a small human being is preparing to use you as a vessel to make her appearance. Maybe we should concentrate on that for a few moments."

Freezing in place, JJ's wide, terrified eyes met Ainsley's as she mumbled, her words coming with great effort, "I don't think I'm ready, Ainsley."

"I don't think there's a parent alive that will tell you she or he was ready, JJ. Especially a mother. But scrubbing the floor isn't going to forestall her arrival."

"Dave's gonna kill me," JJ whispered, hanging her head as she pressed a hand to her rigid stomach.

"Dave is going to be more concerned with meeting his daughter than causing mortal harm to anyone. Especially you," Ainsley smiled supportively.

"Did anyone explain that to Spence?" JJ asked with a faint smile as she reached for the hand Ainsley held out to her, finally willing to allow someone to help her.

"We're working on it," Ainsley chuckled, easing a now-compliant JJ into a chair as Gideon and Reid joined them inside the decorated nursery.

And the festivities were apparently just about to begin.


	95. Chapter 95

**_Author's Note__: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum is up to 62 participants. And you still have three more days to sign up if interested. We'd love to have everyone, whether you've authored hundreds of stories or never written a thing! This is for everyone! The Dealer's Choice August Challenge is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Please see the forum for further details. And if you've never visited the forum, drop by for a visit. Everyone interested in Criminal Minds fanfiction and/or writing is welcome. We'd love to have you! As always, we want to take a moment and say thanks to all who have read, reviewed, favorited or alerted our stories. We continue to appreciate each one of you!_**

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety-Five**

Wincing as she saw the look of fear spread wildly on Spencer's face once again, JJ tried to smile as she murmured, "I'm sorry, Spence. I didn't mean for this to happen today. It's just that…"

"Don't apologize for going into labor, JJ," Spencer interrupted, forcing himself to put his worries at bay as he watched her press her fingers to her stomach. Now was the time to be a big boy, he told himself sternly as he smiled weakly at his best friend. "Just tell me that we can go right on to the hospital where my niece will be born in a nice, safe delivery room and not here in the middle of the floor, okay? I don't know much about birthing children, but I do know that statistics say that medical assistance, especially in your situation, is always a benefit."

Meeting Ainsley's calm eyes, JJ felt her stomach start to clench again as she whispered, "I can't do this without Dave. I need Dave!"

"I just called him, Blondie," Gideon interrupted, his voice even as he took a step forward into the frilly room. "He's not answering right now, which means he's in with the DA and the judge. I called Garcia and Hotch, and they're going to get a message to the judge's chambers immediately. I think Garcia even said something about making Morgan drive over there and haul your husband's ass to the hospital personally."

Narrowing her eyes as she watched the young expectant mother suddenly draw in a sharp gasp, Ainsley asked quickly, "JJ? What's wrong?"

"Pain," JJ groaned, her face scrunching as she pressed both hands to her suddenly rigid stomach. Breathing in short gasps, she hissed, "Sweet mother of Jesus! That hurt!"

"Okay, JJ," Ainsley soothed, slipping a supportive arm around the other woman as she stiffened tightly in the rocker, "Try to breathe, okay? I've heard it helps."

"Had these people you talked to ever had babies?" JJ panted, bending double as another painful cramp asserted itself. Whistling through her lips, she silently begged whatever deities that were currently listening to find her husband somewhere in the cosmos and magically transport him home. Now.

Smiling faintly at the woman's terse words, Ainsley shook her head. "I don't think so. They were men."

"Assume they were idiots then," JJ ground out, fingers tightening around the wooden rocker arms as she pushed up slightly against the pain.

"Hey!" Gideon and Reid erupted simultaneously, identical hurt tones filling their different voices.

Smiling tightly at the duo standing in the doorway, Ainsley murmured, eyes narrowing, "Perhaps you two would be better served grabbing JJ's bag and pulling the car to the door?"

"I'll grab the bag," Reid volunteered helpfully, already moving toward the door, happily planning his immediate escape.

"And I'll pull the car around," Gideon offered readily, following Reid out of the room and down the stairs.

Watching as the men scampered in opposite directions, their footsteps rapid and loud, JJ smiled weakly. "You're good with them," she complimented Ainsley, finally straightening somewhat as the pain chose to loosen its evil grip slightly. "It's impressive."

"Both of them are good men," Ainsley said with a slight shrug, rubbing soft fingers against JJ's hunched shoulders. "It's easy to overlook their idiosyncrasies when you know that beneath Gideon's gruff exterior and Reid's anxiety beat the hearts of two very fine men."

"You've been good for this family, Ainsley," JJ said with a grateful smile as she pushed up slowly from the cushioned rocker. "Really, really good."

"I'm glad you think so, JJ," Ainsley said, assisting the waddling woman toward the door, their footsteps slow but steady. "Your opinion means a lot to me."

Nodding as they reached the stairway, JJ wrapped one hand tightly around the banister and the other around Ainsley's arm. "Thanks. So, I hoped you'd do another big favor for me," JJ suggested hopefully, drawing in a deep breath as she stared down the suddenly long expanse of stairs.

"You know I'll do whatever I can to help," Ainsley agreed, matching her pace to JJ's as they began to descend the steps.

"Keep my husband from losing his sanity these next few hours, okay?" JJ pleaded, her eyes focused on the bottom step as she fought the sudden anxiety threatening to erupt again. "You're a shrink. You can do that, right?"

"Oh, JJ," Ainsley winced as she recalled the protective streak the blonde woman's new husband had developed over the last month, "I'm a doctor, sweetie. Not a miracle worker. But, I promise, I'll do my best to keep all your Indians on the reservation until you're up to doing it yourself."

"I guess that's all I can ask for," JJ sighed, relieved to have reached the foyer with a minimum of pain. "I can't believe this is really happening," she said, looking around the house with wide eyes, shaking her damp blonde head. "I'm leaving as two people sharing one body, but I'll be coming home with a brand new little person."

Smiling, Ainsley heard the wonder lacing JJ's soft voice, but she also heard the anxiety...the fear hovering just below the surface. "You're going to be amazing, JJ. After all, you've managed to head your quasi-family with a great deal of success. You're just adding one more to your crew."

"I just wish Dave was here," JJ whispered, glancing at Ainsley with shining eyes.

"He'll be with you soon, JJ," Ainsley assured her calmly, looking out the window as she heard the crunch of gravel in the driveway. "Everyone knows that your husband wouldn't miss this event for the world."

"He's going to growl for days over the fact that I went into labor without him here," JJ sighed, watching as Reid lugged her packed suitcase down the stairs, studiously attempting to ignore the thumping sound of the luggage banging against the spindles.

Smiling supportively, Ainsley pressed her hand to JJ's elbow as she murmured, "One thing about unborn babies. They DO tend to keep their own schedule. And once you're both holding that little angel in your arms, he'll forget all about the drama of her arrival. I'd place money on it."

"Yeah," Reid muttered, joining them in the foyer, dropping the heavy suitcase with at thud, "Right after he's done disposing of my body, he'll be in a much better mood, JJ."

"Don't worry, Spence," JJ soothed, grabbing her friend's hand as she winked at Ainsley, "Murder and mayhem aren't the thrill for him they once were."

Pursing his lips, Spence glared at his best friend. "Funny. Very funny, JJ. I so hope that my niece has your sense of humor."

"She could have Dave's," Ainsley chuckled, eyes crinkling at the inside joke among their semi-family.

"So, none at all," Spencer groaned, pressing his hand to his forehead. "That'll be so much better," he said sarcastically as the front door opened and Gideon popped his head inside.

"We ready?" Gideon asked, clapping his hands together as he held the door open widely.

And taking one last look around at the people surrounding her, JJ swallowed nervously. This was it. The big moment. In a few short hours, she'd be a mother. A real, honest to God parent to a tiny innocent human life.

"I'm ready," she nodded, smiling bravely at Spencer Reid as he carefully guided her out the door.


	96. Chapter 96

_**Author's Note: We have a couple of announcements for you all today. We're proud to announce that signups are open for the Fanfic Challenge - Round 4 on our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" or, as we like to call it, the "PYOP Challenge" (pick your own pairing challenge) through September 1st. For those interested, simply go to the forum to the PWOP Challenge thread and sign up with your favorite pairing. On September 2nd, we'll assign you a scenario to write provided by some of our lovely fellow authors. This will give everybody an opportunity to write what they love and provide readers with some awesome stories. Please sign up at the forum or shoot us a PM signifying your willingness to participate. So, please come join the fun and let's make this the most successful challenge yet!**_

_**Also, we've opened a new thread called, "Find a Fic...with the help of all your friends". Ever had a story for which you simply couldn't recall the title. This thread is the place to begin searching. Details can be found on the thread. I hope you all find it a helpful addition to the forum. As always, any ideas for new threads are welcome!**_

_**We also have wonderful new interviews with two equally amazing authors posted. Please check out the-vampire-act and emzypemzy interviews and let them know your thoughts!**_

_**And, as always, thanks to everybody still reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories. We couldn't do this without your support!**_

**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety-Six**

Almost three very long and very trying hours later, Spencer Reid grimaced as he remembered JJ's bravely spoken words. Staring down at the perspiring, obviously pain-ridden woman, he couldn't help but ask himself how ANYONE could be ready for THAT? Surely the universe was far better organized and intelligent than to require life to be started in such a manner. Wasn't it?

Taking a slow, tentative step closer to her hospital bed once again, he pressed his hands against the molded plastic rails, grateful for anything solid to hold on to in the middle of this seeming spiraling world. Trying to put on a brave smile, he reminded himself that what his best friend and pseudo-sister was experiencing was merely a normal part of the cycle of life, convoluted thought it might be. And while he might be able to accept that thought on some theoretical ephemeral plane, the reality of the situation was far more important to him.

JJ was hurting. And he wanted to stop it. Just like she had done everything possible to stop his pain just a few short months ago.

He owed her, didn't he?

Clearing his throat, Reid murmured as he watched her eyes close for a moment, "Is there anything I can get you, JJ? I can get more ice chips if you want them. Or maybe another pillow for behind your back." His hands already started reaching expectantly for the stack of pillows the nurse had conveniently left on the side chair earlier.

"My husband, Spence," JJ demanded hoarsely, her fingers clenching around the hem of the standard-issue hospital sheet as she swung her eyes toward the man. Letting out a deep breath, which no longer served the cleansing purpose, she added, "You can find my obviously-deranged husband and tell him to get his sweet ass to this hospital before our daughter starts her life without him. Or else."

Forcing himself to maintain his position in spite of the fury being directed toward him, Reid smiled warily as he said, reassuringly, "Morgan's bringing him any time now, JJ. I promise. They found him at the courthouse, but got caught in the traffic jam on the beltway. Hotch has a chopper on standby just in case they don't get moving soon."

And just as he was afraid his words had fallen on deaf ears, her expression bordering on mutinous, Spencer Reid heard the joyful sound of the door opening and heavy footsteps filling the small room.

"Did somebody call my name in that sweet way I know so well?" a familiar voice asked from behind them.

"Dave!" JJ breathed, relief etched into every inch of her reddened face as she swung her head in his direction. "You made it!"

"Of course I made it, despite your best effort to the contrary," Dave teased, winking at her as he moved to the other side of the bed. Dropping a kiss against her warm forehead as he pressed a hand to her taut belly, he gently admonished, "Wasn't this one of the things on my forbidden list, Bella? Going into labor without me?"

"I showed her the list, Agent Rossi. Three times," Spence readily agreed, more than willing to cast his best friend under that particular moving bus. Shaking his head, he added, almost accusingly, "She seemed determined though."

"Jen usually is," Dave said, smiling down at his wife as he tucked her hair behind her ear. "You did a good job, Spencer," Dave said, glancing toward the other man with an appreciative smile. "You took care of her."

"I...you...I'm safe?" Spencer asked hopefully, his eyes widening as he stared at the older man. "You not going to try to disembowel me when JJ gets busier later, are you? I mean, I couldn't stop you, but I'd like to be prepared. You know, just in case I need to get my will in order again."

"You're in the clear, Spence," JJ replied determinedly, her face suddenly contorting into a grimace as another contraction bore down on her. "He's gonna be too busy helping me bring our daughter into the world that to waste valuable time killing you."

"Good to know," Spencer replied bobbing his head as he watched Dave soothe JJ through the contraction, speaking softly to her as she desperately squeezed his hand. Well aware of the force she had been exerting in those pain-filled moments, Spencer took a hopeful step toward the door. "I'm just gonna go wait out in the hallway with the others."

"You don't wanna stay for the main event?" Dave asked, his eyes glinting mischievously even as he pressed a soft kiss to JJ's perspiring forehead.

"I believe the water breach was enough for me," Spencer replied, gulping as he shook his shaggy head. "I do think I could better serve you in the corridor. JJ isn't exactly appreciative of my extensive knowledge on childbirth at this time."

"You were describing an episiotomy, Spence! In detail!" JJ growled through her pants, clutching Dave's hand tighter as she swung her lethal gaze toward her so-called best friend.

"You ASKED me if I thought one would be necessary. I was only answering your question," Reid declared defensively, crossing his thin arms over his chest as he glanced warily toward the open door. Just five more steps and he would be free!

Fighting a grin, Dave nodded. "It's okay, Reid. I'll come give you all an update when we've made some progress."

In spite of his earlier wishes for a speedy escape, Spencer Reid couldn't resist stopping for a moment just as he reached the door. Glancing back at the couple, their gazes now locked on one another, Reid watched in almost-amazement as JJ bit her lip, her attention focused completely on whatever soft words Rossi was whispering in her ear. Her taut face seemed to relax for a moment, then, just as Rossi leaned his forehead against hers….almost as if, magically, he was transferring some of his strength physically into her pain-ridden body.

And Spencer Reid couldn't stop the smile crossing his lips just then. Just as JJ had physically taken care of him for these past months, figuratively and literally giving him her strength to continue on, he now knew that she and her baby were in good hands.

Both of their futures seemed far brighter than ever before.


	97. Chapter 97

_**Author's Note: We have a couple of announcements for you all today. We're proud to announce that signups are open for the Fanfic Challenge - Round 4 on our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" or, as we like to call it, the "PYOP Challenge" (pick your own pairing challenge) through September 1st. For those interested, simply go to the forum to the PYOP Challenge thread and sign up with your favorite pairing. On September 2nd, we'll assign you a scenario to write provided by some of our lovely fellow authors. This will give everybody an opportunity to write what they love and provide readers with some awesome stories. Please sign up at the forum or shoot us a PM signifying your willingness to participate. So, please come join the fun and let's make this the most successful challenge yet!**_

_**We also have wonderful new interviews with the lovely Sarramaks and hot4cullenmen! Please check it out and let them know your thoughts!**_

_**We've also added two fun new prompt threads. One is called, "Fortune Cookie Fridays" based on an idea submitted by LoveforPenandDerek. Come by and check it out...perhaps, it will feed the muse. And the other is called, "Getting to Know...YOU! Tell us about yourself" It asks five simple questions that allow readers and authors alike to briefly tell us about who they are.**_

_**And, as always, thanks to everybody still reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories. We couldn't do this without your support!**_

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**Drifting Away**

**Chapter Ninety-Seven**

Leaning back into the wooden rocker in the corner of the sunlit nursery, Spencer Reid carefully shifted the wriggling bundle in his arms as he stared down into the bright blue eyes. Whispering loudly, he urged the small baby, "Don't cry again, okay? Your mother and father are going to think that you don't like me, Elizabeth!"

The tiny baby waved her clenched hand then, her nose wrinkling for a moment before her newborn features relaxed. Letting out a sigh of relief as he watched her small forehead smooth, the baby wrinkles suddenly disappearing, Spencer pushed against the floor as he softly set the rocker into motion.

Shaking his head as he felt the baby snuggle closer against his chest, Reid felt himself beginning to smile as he realized how different things had become in such a short while. Smoothing his finger against the tiny baby's cheek, he said, softly, "I'm glad we've got this moment to chat before JJ and Dave wake up. Or should I say Mommy and Daddy? I don't want you to get confused about the people in your life. Although your mother has informed me many times over the past month that you are the smartest child she has ever seen."

Pausing for a moment as the baby cooed, he swallowed hard as he continued, his words halting for a moment. "My mother used to say that very thing about me, too, Elizabeth. And I loved her very much. Just like you're going to love your mother."

Shifting the baby to the side as she clenched her fingers around the edge of his sleeve, Reid murmured, "I don't profess to understand the workings of an infant's mind, but the recent studies purport that you can understand emotions already. So perhaps you already experience a form of love for your parents. And if you do, Elizabeth, you can rest assured that your parents return that love. Very much."

Watching as the baby's eyes widened for a moment, Spencer smiled softly as he held out his finger, unable to explain the inexplicable feeling that flooded through him as the tiny baby wrapped her fingers around it. "Although you may not love me when you get older, especially if you don't like the name Elizabeth. You see, your parents asked me to choose your name."

Rocking softly, Spencer continued his explanation as he watched the baby yawn widely. "Of course, your father had a few words about my first suggestion, so you can't really blame me. " Sniffing, Reid muttered, "I still think Gloriana is a perfect name. But Rossi…your father…he was of a differing opinion." Seeing the baby blink slowly, Reid carefully shifted again in the chair, rocking again. "I was named after Sir Edmund Spenser, who wrote an amazing allegorical poem called The Faerie Queene. And the main character, the faerie queen herself, is Gloriana. But your father was not willing to listen to that argument, no matter how hard I tried to sway him. He's a bit unreasonable at moments, Elizabeth. Make a note of that for the future."

Returning to his original thought process, he continued softly. "But I digress. The poem was written in honor of Queen Elizabeth. The first one, that is. You'll learn later that there have been two. And everyone agreed that Elizabeth was an appropriate choice for the child that will definitely be treated like a queen." Wriggling his eyebrows, he whispered, "That's a joke, Elizabeth. I don't make many of them, so mark this one down for posterity's sake."

The baby whimpered just then, her face scrunching tightly as she waved her small fists in the air. Deftly shifting her to his other arm, Spencer couldn't help but still feel amazed that he was no longer afraid of this tiny human being. And this baby, of all the babies in the world, seemed completely immune to what Aaron Hotchner had once termed "The Reid Effect."

Oh, he had felt those feelings of complete inadequacy in dealing with a newborn during her first few days on the earth, but Jennifer Jareau Rossi had been insistent that he get to know his goddaughter. And after the initial doubts and fears, he had become enamored with the baby girl over the past month, wanting to be in her presence constantly, amazed with her every movement and milestone.

She was life itself, the personification of the future that he had once thought out of reach.

Shifting the tiny Elizabeth Rossi onto his shoulder, he continued his soft speech as he gently set the rocker into motion. "You and I have a lot in common, Elizabeth. We've already talked about our mothers. Now it's time to review the father situation." Leaning his head back against the padded top of the rocker, he whispered, "I never thought I'd be able to talk about my father in a rational conversation, but that was before I learned what defines a father. It's not genetics, Elizabeth. Family surpasses any Mendelevian definition. You'll learn that one day, maybe, if your parents decide to share certain facts with you. But whether they do or they don't, it won't really matter. Your father is David Rossi, no matter what genetics say. He chose you, Elizabeth." Pausing for a moment, Reid swallowed hard against the lump in his throat as he whispered, "Just like Jason Gideon chose me. And we're both much luckier than most."

Feeling the baby's breath gusting against his neck, Spencer sighed as he pressed his hand flat against her back, shifting the blanket tighter around her now sleeping form. Hesitantly, he pressed a soft kiss against her forehead, still amazed at how it felt to just hold the little girl that was his niece. Sighing, he whispered, "One day, you might hear things about me, Elizabeth. I made some unwise choices because I didn't believe that I had any hope for my future. I was afraid of my own mind. But your mother refused to give up on me, and she made me see that I couldn't give up on myself. Just like none of us are ever going to give up on you."

While Spencer Reid murmured softly to the sleeping Elizabeth Rossi, the two couples watching quietly from the doorway smiled at one another. Dave wrapped his arm around JJ's waist as she wiped away the tears that were silently slipping down her cheeks. Pressing a kiss into her hair, he murmured, "He's better, babe. He's not the same as he was. You can see that know."

Watching as JJ merely nodded, her lips pressed tightly together, Ainsley stepped away from the door as she whispered, "He's made amazing progress. And he's looking forward to the future. All because of you, JJ."

"He did it. We just showed him that we're not going to sit by and let him think he doesn't matter," JJ managed to squeak out, leaning back against her husband. Smiling tremulously, she canted her head as she added, turning her eyes toward a silent Jason Gideon. "And I think he recognizes how much we all need one another."

"As long as he's no longer trying to leave us, I'm okay with all the other stuff," Gideon replied gruffly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "No more drifting for our boy. Not at all."

And as they moved back toward the nursery doorway, they heard Spencer Reid's strong voice once again as he recited a stanza from his namesake author.

"Listen closely, Elizabeth," Spencer urged the tiny sleeping baby in his arms. "This is the best part of the Fairie Queen." Clearing his throat, he whispered, fully remembering his mother reciting the very same words once before. "Her angel's face, as the great eye of heaven, shined bright…And made a sunshine in the shady place."

And as Jennifer Rossi felt the tears of happiness once again flood her eyes, she realized that truer words had never been spoken. Spencer's shady places had indeed been turned to sunshine, and he was no longer drifting away.

THE END


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